When Subin was thirteen, she had her first kiss.

It was with her boyfriend at the time, a guy named Isaac. He was an outgoing lad with striking blue eyes and brown curly hair. At first, Subin thought that Isaac was quite funny. He was often raucous in the classes they shared but he wasn’t a bad guy— he just wanted to have fun. And so, when he asked her out, Subin was surprised. After all, she was nothing like him. In fact, she was the exact opposite. Subin couldn’t understand what Isaac saw in her and had almost rejected him if it weren’t for her best friend’s intervention.

“C’mon, you should give him a chance!” Liha urged while poking Subin in the ribs. “He’s cute!”

Subin shielded herself from Liha’s excitable poking. “But I don’t know if I like him that way—”

“What isn’t there to like?” Liha interjected. “Isaac’s tall, smart,” she paused, “well, kinda smart and he’s really funny.” Liha’s voice went up a notch as she tried to suppress her squeal. “I think you guys would make a great match!”

“I don’t know…”

“Su, you gotta give love a chance. It’s like a rite of passage. You’re already thirteen. When will you start dating? When you’re thirty?”

Subin arched her brow at her friend before bursting into giggles alongside her. “There’s nothing wrong with waiting that long, y’know.”

“Well, yeah, of course not,” Liha replied flippantly. “But it’s not like I’m telling you to marry the guy either.” She put her hands on her hips. “Trust me, Su, Isaac’s a catch. Maybe you’ll start liking him along the way. You’ll never know unless you try.”

And so, Subin did.

On their first date, Isaac had invited her to watch a movie followed by lunch at McDonald’s. It wasn’t a glamorous date, but it was a lot like what Subin imagined first dates to be. Surprisingly, she had a lot of fun. She smiled a lot thanks to Isaac’s cheesy jokes, and she felt at ease the whole time she was with him. At some point, Subin started to think that maybe she did like Isaac… even if it was only a little.

“Do you know what a homunculus is?”

Subin looked up. “Homunculus?” she repeated as they started walking away from the bus stop. “What? You mean those things from that anime?”

Isaac cocked his head.

The sun had started to set, and pools of amber light illuminated the pavement in front of them.

“Anime? What anime?” Isaac regarded Subin quizzically before letting out a soft chuckle. “Oh, you mean ‘Full Metal Alchemist’? No, I wasn’t on about that.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed it to her. “I was on about this.”

Subin peered at Isaac’s phone screen and almost immediately grimaced. “What the—” She met eyes with Isaac. “What the hell is that?”

“Nasty lookin’ fella, isn’t he?” He grinned. “We were learning about it in Biology the other day. Mrs. Gregory says that the bigger the parts of the body in the homunculus, the more sensitive it is to sensory input.” Isaac glided his fingers across the screen so that he could magnify the image. “Look, this means that the most sensitive parts in the body are actually the hands, tongue and lips.”

Subin hummed as she continued walking ahead. “Yeah, okay, but why show me that?”

Isaac stopped. “Because I…” And before Subin could register what was happening, Isaac’s lips were on hers.

~*~

A knock on the door caused Mayu and Gyuri to peer over their shoulders.

“Miss Mayu?”

There, hovering by the door, was the servant boy. Dressed in discoloured clothing, the young lad shifted his gaze from Mayu to Gyuri and back again. “I have a letter for you,” he said as he lifted the folded piece of paper in his hand. “I was told a reply is urgently needed.”

Mayu abruptly stood up.

Gyuri curiously gaped at her.

“I’m sorry, Gyuri,” Mayu blurted, her tone mildly alarmed. “Do you mind watching over Master Namjoon for me? I will be right back.”

“Sure—”

“Thank you!” Mayu bolted to the door before Gyuri had time to ask anything more.

Once both she and the servant boy had disappeared, Gyuri turned her attention back to Namjoon. With Mayu gone, the room suddenly felt much emptier. “I wonder what that was all about,” Gyuri mumbled to herself. “I hope it wasn’t anything bad…” She scooted closer to Namjoon by occupying Mayu’s seat. As Gyuri resumed wiping the sweat from Namjoon’s face, a sudden thought came to her: how long has it been since she and Namjoon had been alone together?

“Don’t go thinking about those things now, Subin,” Gyuri scolded herself, her cheeks flaming at the thought. “He’s just a…” but then, she paused.

What was he to her?

Under the glow of the flickering candlelight, Gyuri’s eyes traced Namjoon’s features, all the while contemplating that very question. The sound of his breathing, while barely audible, was the only thing distracting her from bringing her fanciful thoughts to the fore. And as if the world was conspiring against her, even the shadows by dancing around Namjoon’s eyes, nose, lips. Like playful imps, they were provoking her into acknowledging the feelings that she so strongly denied.

You care for him.

Gyuri squirmed uncomfortably on her seat.

“You’re so stupid,” she berated herself. “Stop thinking about those things.” She shook her head fervently to banish such thoughts. “We can’t lose focus now. We have to get back home—"

“Let...go…”

At the sound of a husky voice, Gyuri almost leapt out of her stool. It was only faint, but she was sure she heard someone speak.

“…missed you.”

Gyuri let out a sigh of relief upon realising it was Namjoon who had spoken. Geez, you scared the hell out of me. She frowned at Namjoon as she tried to regain her composure. “Master Namjoon…” Gyuri tentatively whispered. “Are you awake?”

A low groan escaped Namjoon’s lips as he shifted in his sleep, his features slowly morphing to one of distress. He cried out, “No… Stop…!”

Gyuri jumped.

Alarmed by his shouting, she got up to help him when she noticed that his eyes were still closed.

Could he be having a bad dream?

“It’s okay, Master Namjoon,” Gyuri spoke in what she hoped was a soothing voice. “It’s just a dream,” she murmured, “everything’s alright, you’re okay.”

But still, Namjoon’s distressed expression remained unchanged.

Remembering what her dad used to do, Gyuri placed her small hand on top of his, flinching slightly at his feverish temperature. He’s still burning up… she thought as she gently dabbed at his brow with her other hand. It will be bad if his fever doesn’t go down.

After a few moments, Namjoon’s writhing ceased.

Gyuri was relieved to see that it had worked. “That’s right, Master Namjoon, everything will be okay. You’re alright.”

But just as she was about to remove her hand, Namjoon unexpectedly spoke again, “…Please… not leave…” His hand shifted from underneath hers as if he was trying to grab onto something. “I cannot…”

Gyuri looked down at his slender fingers which were twitching with effort. “It’s okay, Master Namjoon. I’m right here.”

But again, Namjoon grew restless. Her words seemed to have lost their effect.

Unsure of what else to do, Gyuri threaded her hand into his, hoping that it would calm him down. His febrile skin stung her like hot steam and she winced. But instead of letting go, Gyuri squeezed his palm, hoping that it would be enough to reassure him. To her surprise, Namjoon responded by curling his fingers around hers.

“Master Namjoon?”

Gyuri glanced up as Namjoon let out a long breath, his expression peaceful once more. Like an innocent child, he slept soundly while their hands remained intertwined. But while Namjoon was lost in blissful slumber, Gyuri, by contrast, became flustered by their connection.

Maybe she had a fever too.

“You’re unfair, Master Namjoon,” Gyuri mumbled as she turned her face away. She looked down at their joined hands, the warmth of his feverish skin blending with hers. “Why are you making it hard for me not to think about you?”

Despite her reservations, Gyuri stared at Namjoon expectantly as if waiting for him to respond. She knew from the way her heart raced that what feelings she harboured for him were growing despite all her e