Part II: I Belong to You

The Handkerchief Encounter

A/N: So, it's my birthday, and I worked really hard to get this update out as my gift to all you readers. Thanks so much for your support; I appreciate it! Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the Boys Over Flowers characters, nor the song "I Belong to You" by Jacob Lee, nor the song "When I Look Into Your Eyes" by the Jonas Brothers


Part II: I Belong to You 

If the heart is always searching
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

("When I Look Into Your Eyes," the Jonas Brothers)

Healing

(Ji Hoo's POV)

It was true that I shouldn't be so confused to see Jun Pyo on my doorstep asking for Jan Di, but nevertheless, I found myself at a loss for words. I took a breath and answered, "...Yes, she is," in a voice a bit unsteady.

As soon as I affirmed it, Jun Pyo tried to move past me to go inside my home, but on pure impulse, I erected a blockade against him with my arm.

"What the hell, Ji Hoo?!"

"I don't think you should see her now."

"What?" Jun Pyo's eye twitched. "Why not?!"

"I just don't think it's a good idea. She needs some time...and distance…" Away from you… "to heal."

He looked at me as if I'd just said the most outrageous thing ever, but it was completely logical to my mind.

"Well, I want to see her! There's...something I need to say to her!" Jun Pyo exclaimed.

"What is it?" I asked calmly, though I was anything but calm on the inside. What could he possibly have to say to her? Had he actually done the unthinkable and ended the engagement? I could sense Jun Pyo squirming beneath his skin. He surely hadn't expected me to question him.

"What?! Why should I tell you?" he demanded, his eyes bulging out in fury.

But I stood my ground. "If you can't tell me what it is, then I can't let you see her."

No, I wouldn't give in to him this time. He'd hurt her in the worst possible way, and like I'd said at the airport, I wasn't going to hold back any longer…

Jun Pyo scoffed, "It's private."

"Well, answer me this. Are you still the heir to Shinwha?"

"You know I am," he growled.

"Are you still engaged to Ha Jae Kyung?"

Jun Pyo paused a moment before shouting, "...Yes!"

I shook my head, "Then, there's nothing you need to say to her. Goodbye, Jun Pyo." I began nudging him out the door, but he resisted me. I was quickly losing patience, but I somehow kept my cool. "I'm sorry, Jun Pyo, but I can't let you keep hurting her."

Jun Pyo momentarily froze in place, certainly questioning my sanity. And if I were outside of my body looking down right now, I'd be doing the same...because for me to stand up to Gu Jun Pyo or tell him 'no' on anything was practically unheard of. It wasn't as though I never did it, but it didn't happen often. I had always just gone with the flow, blended into the crowd, hoping to be invisible. That notion seemed impossible as a member of F4, but with Jun Pyo, Yi Jeong, and Woo Bin having the personalities they did, I wasn't usually the one to stand out. Not that I hadn't had admirers, but they always knew to only look from afar...

And it wasn't like I didn't have opinions of my own; on the contrary, I had often disagreed with the others-but I rarely felt strongly enough to express that. In fact, aside from the time Jun Pyo took my robot, I had always kept silent...that is, until Jan Di came along… The first time I ever stood out in public was for Jan Di's sake when she was being tormented by that group of girls from Shinwha at the welcome home party for Seo Hyun, and from that moment on, my disagreements with Jun Pyo always seemed to revolve around Jan Di.

Jun Pyo had overcome his paralysis by now and was shouting, "Aish! Yoon Ji Hoo! Let me in!"

"Sorry, Jun Pyo, but you're not what she needs right now."

"And you are?!"

I tried to let my eyes speak for me, to show him how serious I was about this, but he ignored me completely and again, tried to forcibly enter my house. I gave him a shove back and held up my hand as if that would stop him, but I knew that if he really wanted to get in, he would. After all, not much could stop Gu Jun Pyo from doing something when he really wanted to...

I didn't want it to become physical between us, and I didn't like being on my best friend's bad side, but when it came to Jan Di, I always went beyond my normal limitations. When protecting her, I felt so much stronger and so out of control all at once. I always ceased to care about anything except achieving that goal.

"No, Jun Pyo," I said with all the urgency inside my heart. "...You made your choice, and you chose Shinwha. I choose her."

At first, Jun Pyo seemed dumbfounded, and then I watched his chest slowly begin to heave. He didn't say anything nor make a move, so I continued to say what I'd needed to for a long time, "...There was a time when I chose you over her, but I'm done with that. Now, I choose her, and I'll...always choose her from here on out."

Jun Pyo's entire body was shaking in anger now, his breathing like a roar churning deep inside. He got eerily silent before snarling, "You call yourself my friend...I thought we were brothers…"

It hurt to hear him say that, and I hated this so much...but I couldn't relent. "We are brothers, and I am your friend, Jun Pyo. I always will be...but I'm also her friend, and I can't forgive you for what you've put her through, at least not until she does."

"Who made you her protector?!"

My words came out sincere and honest. "I guess it's just a natural instinct to protect the ones we love…"

So, there it was. I'd just confessed my love for Jan Di, in no uncertain terms, to her ex-boyfriend and my best friend. If our airport standoff hadn't been clear enough, it was crystal now.

From the look in his eyes, I'd clearly set Jun Pyo off, and like a bomb, he exploded at me, "You can't stop me from seeing her! GET OUT of my way!"

But this time, I shouted back-loudly, "GU JUN PYO!"

It stopped him dead in his tracks; he wasn't used to me yelling, after all. Lowering my voice to its normal range but remaining firm, I said, "I don't allow it. You can't come in."

Jun Pyo just glared at me as if he wanted to kill me, and I braced myself for a punch, but it never came. Instead, he slowly turned away, his eyes never leaving mine until his back was turned, and he stormed out.

With a heavy sigh, I turned around, and when I did, I saw Jan Di standing a few feet behind me in the living room. I didn't know how much of the confrontation she'd witnessed, but she was obviously shaken.

"Jan Di," I acknowledged her presence. She looked at me in a zombified state, saying nothing.

"I'm sorry you had to see that…," I began, but with one word, she stopped me. "Sunbae."

I waited for her to continue.

Jan Di took a deep breath. "I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, Sunbae, but...you don't have to." She stared down at her feet for a moment before returning her eyes to me. "...I can deal with seeing him. I may not always be able to avoid it."

I knew she was right; it was entirely possible that their paths would cross, at school or elsewhere. It seemed inescapable, in fact. If nothing else, with Ha Jae Kyung being the way she was, she would undoubtedly attempt to see Jan Di, and where Jae Kyung went, Jun Pyo seemed to go, too.

Yes, I wanted to protect Jan Di, but I also knew how much easier it is to get over a person when you don't have to see them. I wanted the healing process to be as painless as possible for her, but maybe my motives were not entirely selfless… Maybe a part of me wanted Jun Pyo to stay away so that I could have a shot...

This revelation made me feel a bit guilty, but deep down, I knew that I was right. As long as Jun Pyo was engaged it wasn't fair for him to keep coming around and trying to see her. Even though he didn't mean to, he was hindering the recovery process for her and undoing all the progress I thought I'd made, and I was trying so hard to repair the damage… But I didn't know if that was possible. It felt like every time she saw him we were back to square one-back in Macau, at the moment he called her a stain.

Jan Di was no longer looking at me; she'd become a statue.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, and after a long pause, I expressed my innermost thoughts. "...I just...can't stand seeing that look on your face whenever you see him or even think about him." She had that look right now, in fact, the one that made me feel like she was slowly dying from the inside out...

My words seemed to stir Jan Di up, and she focused on me once more. "I won't always have that look," she said. "It...will get better, but I have to face it. I won't be a coward."

"No one who knows her would say that Geum Jan Di is a coward."

Jan Di smiled a little at this, and then I offered to make her breakfast. She agreed, and we headed over to the table. She slumped into a chair, looking completely weary, but when she saw me notice she perked up.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

She almost looked annoyed by my question-and rightfully so. It would have been a stupid question if I meant what she must think I did, but I was intuitive enough to know she didn't want to talk about Jun Pyo. And I had no intention of doing so.

"Your head," I clarified. "How's your head?"

"What?"

"After last night...you had some alcohol."

"Oh," she half-smiled. "Not bad."

"Good," I replied, relieved that she wasn't suffering physical anguish, too.

Thinking about last night, I briefly wondered if she recalled trying to kiss me and hitting my chin instead, but I pushed that thought away. It wasn't the time. So, I told her to take it easy while I made pancakes. They seemed befitting of the situation right now.


(Jan Di's POV)

I appreciated what Ji Hoo Sunbae was trying to do for me, and I knew why he was doing it. He was trying to protect me like he always did, but he couldn't protect me from everything-and least of all this. I had been trying to avoid seeing Jun Pyo, too, but it seemed inevitable that we would meet. And whatever twisted fate was in store for us, I needed to accept it. Jun Pyo and I were no longer a couple, yet we were constantly being tossed together. Would it always be that way? I supposed that, as long as I remained friends with Jae Kyung and the rest of F4, I would eventually see him. I wondered if it would always be like digging around inside an open wound?

But even worse than seeing him were the thoughts that almost always plagued my mind-selfish and hopeful thoughts about us somehow being together again. It made me feel weak and horrible because of Jae Kyung Unnie, but I just missed him so much…

This wasn't what love was supposed to be like, was it? And I couldn't help but think about how I was with my first love… When I fell for Ji Hoo Sunbae, I wanted only what was best for him, even if it was hard on me. I asked Seo Hyun to stay and prompted Ji Hoo to go after her because I wanted him to be happy. Yes, it broke my heart to see him walk away, but somehow, I could take joy in it because I knew he would be happy. But things had turned out so different from how I expected...

With Jun Pyo, on the other hand, I was finding it hard to be that way. Some days I could even feel myself slipping into a terrible trap of wanting him regardless of the consequences or the impact on others, and I refused to be that way. That was why I needed to let him go, once and for all.

And now there were Ji Hoo Sunbae's feelings to consider. I loved Jun Pyo so much that it hurt, and as much as I hated that, it was the reality. I loved Ji Hoo, too, but in a different way. I loved him in a way that didn't cause me any kind of agony. Thoughts of him only brought warm, comforting feelings, but it was clearly not the same type of love, and I wondered why I couldn't love Sunbae the way I loved Jun Pyo. That would be so much easier…

But whoever said love comes easy? Wasn't it supposed to be something worth fighting for? That's how the movies and books portrayed it, and it was always romantic when the characters had to struggle for it.

As for me, I couldn't help but think that love makes no sense. It's not rational or predictable, at least not in my experience; it sneaks up on you like an assassin in the night, and it's relentless, even in the face of pure torment. The inability to let go of the one you love, that's supposed to be romantic, right? That's the dream; that's where the magic lies, isn't it? But no one ever talks about how much it can destroy a person along the way…

There was a time when I believed that true love would never die. My younger self was sure that when 'it' happened, it would only happen once, and it would be magical and perfect. And even if something went wrong, it would somehow work out because it was right. And then I would live happily ever after… Oh, I didn't have any lofty ideals of castles or mansions, which was ironic given the man I ended up falling for...but I'd only hoped for someone to love, someone who loved me in return, and I wanted to live a simple, happy life with him. How different from my mother's ambitions for me…

I'd since changed my thinking, having learned that even basic happiness was not so easy to come by. Sometimes it just doesn't work out… Sometimes the odds and the suffering are too much…

These thoughts and a brief curiosity about what Jun Pyo came to say to me ran through my mind as I gratefully ate the breakfast that Sunbae had prepared for me…


A few days later…

(Jan Di's POV)

I had been in such a funk lately, thinking only of myself and my troubles, but it finally occurred to me that I wasn't the only one with problems. I wasn't the only one suffering, and it would do for me to remember that from now on and stop being so selfish. Specifically, Ji Hoo Sunbae's grandfather had suddenly re-entered his life, or was at least trying to, and rather than dwell on my pitiful love life, I'd decided to focus on bringing those two together.

I saw Harabeoji five days a week at the Clinic, and I was beginning to feel closer to him. He felt like a grandfather to me, too, and I really wanted to see him happy. I definitely wanted to see Sunbae happy, and I knew he missed his grandfather, so I was hoping to convince one of them to mend the fence.

When I brought it up to Harabeoji, he would grumble and change the subject or give me some work to do. I also tried to bring his name up, casually, to Sunbae a couple of times, and his response was similar, in that he would divert the conversation. They were surely related.

When I'd directly asked Ji Hoo why he couldn't make up with his grandfather, his response had been that it wasn't a fight, that he had been abandoned. That had made me feel awful, and I'd argued it because I knew it wasn't the exact truth. I'd wanted to make Ji Hoo aware that his grandfather was living with a lot of regret and that he missed him terribly. When I told Ji Hoo that, he had smirked and replied that I always seemed to know the people in his life better than he did.

I brought the other up a couple more times, but both grandfather and grandson were being stubborn. Neither wanted to make the first move, so it fell to me. They would surely think I was meddling, and I supposed that I was, but the Yoon men were currently driving me crazy. And I knew that Ji Hoo and Harabeoji needed each other, so I tried to come up with a plan to get them together.

I made a few failed attempts at getting them together, but when Grandfather nearly collapsed from his condition, that was the last straw for me. I didn't know what Ji Hoo's reaction was going to be, probably not good, but I took Grandfather to Ji Hoo's home, where I was also residing-how was that going to look?-and I forcibly moved him in.

After settling Grandfather into a guest room, we talked. The old doctor seemed happy to be there but expressed his worry over Ji Hoo forgiving him; I reassured him and reminded him that he was his grandson, and he could always give him a good spanking if he didn't listen. And then I went to check on Ji Hoo.

Ji Hoo stood out in the back courtyard. I could tell from the look on his face and his tightly folded arms that he was angry with me. When I approached him, he turned toward me and demanded to know what I thought I was doing. Maybe I had crossed a line, but I knew it was for the greater good. I reminded my sunbae of the importance of family, but he told me he wasn't ready for this.

"Grandfather said the same," I informed him. "But how much time do you really need to prepare for something like this? Isn't that a waste?"

He thinned his lips. "Geum Jan Di-"

I cut him off. "You told me yourself that you can never know a person completely, but you can at least know the kind of person they are...and the Ji Hoo Sunbae I know...still loves and misses his grandfather, so...he's capable of forgiving him."

Ji Hoo had nothing to say in response to those familiar words that I was now throwing back at him. How could he argue with his own wisdom, after all? He stared into my face, and I tried to give him my most disarming smile, the one that almost always worked with him. He clenched his jaw a bit but then let out a sigh of resignation, and I knew that I had gotten through to him.


The next week was tense between Ji Hoo and Grandfather. They were both clearly tiptoeing around each other, and it was frustrating, especially since I seemed to have been given the forced title of mediator. They would both come to me or address me rather than talk to each other, and finally, I stopped going along with that. I would simply ignore and force them to either talk to each other or sit there in silence. And most often, it was the latter.

A breakthrough happened when, one morning, I rose early, dressed, and snatched both of them by an arm. Winding one arm through each of theirs, I dragged them off, saying we should all go to the Clinic together today. "Let's take the car since there are three of us," I suggested to Ji Hoo. No one fought me.

When we got to the Clinic, it was a madhouse, so I was glad that Ji Hoo and I were there to help Grandfather. The only thing was that Ji Hoo was leaning against a wall by the door, silently brooding. When a patient, who was called into Harabeoji's office, asked me to hold her baby, I went to Ji Hoo for help. I handed him the tray with the cups of tea I had been passing out, and then I took the toddler from the woman's hands. Ji Hoo looked like he had no idea what to do next, so I encouraged him to hand out the tea, and he did so.

Everyone was taken with my sunbae, oohing and ahhing over how handsome he was, and some were even asking if he was single and suggesting he meet their daughter or granddaughter. A surprised look crossed his face, and he looked over at me, seeming pleased by the kind words. I couldn't help but smile at how he was embracing the human interaction.

A while later, as I assisted Grandfather in his office, I began to worry about how Ji Hoo Sunbae was doing in the waiting room, so I tried to peek around the corner. When I heard the sound of a harmonica I went for a better look, and to my surprise, Ji Hoo was seated on the floor cross-legged, playing the harmonica for the roomful of patients. He'd obviously enchanted the lot of them, for they were all mesmerized and swaying their heads along with the music.

It was a nice day. Actually, I couldn't remember the last time I'd had one quite so pleasant...

The workday ended, and Ji Hoo and I walked out of the clinic together first. "You got to do more things for the first time because of me, right?" I asked, and Ji Hoo's beautiful smile confirmed it.

But when Grandfather stepped through the doorway, Ji Hoo shifted uncomfortably and clammed up. So, I pulled a little maneuver. I took Grandfather's suitcase from him and shoved it into Ji Hoo's arms, exclaiming, 'It's so heavy!' I then pointed for Ji Hoo to get into the driver's seat, and I helped Grandfather to the passenger side. When I referred to Grandfather as Dr. Yoon, he chuckled and corrected me, telling me to call him 'Harabeoji' during the off-work hours. I did so and helped him into the car. Then, I got in the back, and we all went home together.


When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of Heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes

("When You Look Me In the Eyes," the Jonas Brothers)

(Ji Hoo's POV)

Jan Di had been in good spirits today, and it made me feel happy and relieved that she could still have good days, even great days, despite all she had been through, and was still going through. Geum Jan Di's inner strength had always amazed me; it was definitely one of the things I loved most about her.

I had to admit that I was angry with Jan Di, at first, for forcing Grandfather and me together, but I knew she was only trying to help us. Her motives, like her heart, were pure.

Actually, I was getting used to having Grandfather around now, even beginning to forgive for the past. And I knew that Grandfather was trying… He'd even attempted to make a breakfast of all of my favorite childhood foods one morning, complete with silly faces and big ears. I didn't know what he hoped to accomplish by doing this, and I immediately told him I wasn't hungry, but then Jan Di forced me to sit down and 'eat the delicious breakfast that my grandfather had made for me.' Honestly, she acted like my wife sometimes. But how could I say no to the rather bossy girl I loved so much?

Today, Jan Di had forced me to go to Grandfather's clinic with her, and I was stunned to discover that it turned out alright. As I lie in bed that night, I thought about our day at the clinic. It was surprisingly pleasant, and as Jan Di had pointed out, another new experience I had her to thank for.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep, but I was woken to the sound of a soft voice calling my name. When I opened my eyes to the darkened room, I was shocked to make out the figure of Jan Di standing beside my bed. A glance at the clock beside my bed told me it was nearly midnight.

This situation had a fantasy-like quality to it, and I recalled dreaming about such a scenario in the past, only I was sure this was not the same thing. "Jan Di-ah, what's wrong?" I asked, mentally shaking away those thoughts.

Her image was illuminated by the occasional flicker of light in the sky squinting through my window, and I could see her playing with her fingers. "Well, I, um…I just...couldn't sleep…," she said.

"Is something on your mind?" I asked, immediately wondering if she was thinking about Jun Pyo.

She shook her head, but she remained in the spot she was in, so I knew something was bothering her. Perhaps she wanted to talk but wasn't quite ready to, or perhaps she just wanted the company. Shaking away my sleepiness, I sat up and reached over to turn on the lamp beside my bed.

Then I heard a low rumble bellowing from outside. I assumed there was a thunderstorm, and a thought jumped into my head. "Don't tell me the brave Geum Jan Di, the Wonder Girl, is afraid of the storm," I half-joked.

"No," she crossed her arms in indignation and put on a pout. It was always adorable when she did that, and I admit I once in a while to get such a reaction. But in this case, I did suspect the storm.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she insisted, and I might have believed her if she wasn't still glued to the side of my bed. My suspicion was confirmed when a loud clap of thunder caused her to let out a shrill cry. Apparently, I'd hit the nail on the head, and I couldn't believe I'd never noticed it before-Jan Di was afraid of thunderstorms. I supposed the situation had never arisen.

I scooted over a bit and patted the spot next to me in invitation. She hesitated, but after a few seconds, she took a seat on the edge of the bed. I watched her closely; her body was tense; she was wringing her hands and occasionally glancing toward the window.

Just then, there was a larger crash, and she lunged at me. Faintly trembling, Jan Di clung to my arm. I looked down into her dark eyes, which were widened in fear. In that moment, I felt bad for teasing her. I could certainly empathize, after all, because I knew what it was like to have a phobia, and even the silliest ones could cause incapacitation.

Without a word, I pulled back my comforter and beckoned her underneath. She stared down at the spot, seemingly pondering what she should do.

"It's okay," I reassured, speaking as softly as one would to a frightened wild animal. At last, she tentatively slipped into my bed. I made some extra room for her, so she would feel more comfortable, and I pulled the covers tight around her.

Even though there was a space between us, I could feel her trembling body shaking the bed beneath us, and I could see that she'd squeezed her eyes shut. Getting an idea, I began to get out of the bed.

"Are you...going somewhere?" she asked with concern. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that she didn't want me to leave her.

I smiled and told her, "I'll be right back." Then I went around her side of the bed to my cd player. I hit a couple of buttons, and classical music filled the room. Taking the small, gray remote back with me, I got into bed. The music I'd put on was a soft, relaxing mix that I enjoyed, and I was sure that it would put her at ease. I turned up the volume a bit to try and drown out the thunder without waking Grandfather, who was sleeping a few rooms over.

"Is that better?" I asked.

"Kinda...yeah," she said.

Keeping the space between us, I laid back and rested my hand behind my head on the pillow.

After several minutes passed, she muttered, "I'm sorry, Sunbae." I glanced over to see her squeezing the covers between her fingers and staring up at the ceiling, "for disturbing you," she finished.

"You didn't," I replied.

But she didn't even seem to hear me. "I'm always burdening you," she went on to say.

I sighed. "No, you're not." How could I ever convince her that she was never a burden, that having her by my side brought me immeasurable joy?

"I feel so dumb."

"You're not dumb."

"Well, it's a stupid, childish thing to be afraid of, isn't it?"

"No fear is stupid, Jan Di. It's just how you feel, and you can't help how you feel…" I knew this well. Maybe I was trying to justify my feelings for her… "Believe me, I know what it's like to be afraid of something...and it's no way to live… You helped me to overcome my phobia, though, so I want to do the same for you."

Jan Di rolled onto her side a bit to face me. "Thank you, Sunbae." She smiled as she settled in beneath the covers.

Lying there, listening to the soothing music made the minutes seem to tick away faster, and I noticed her trembling had lessened. She seemed more peaceful now, and the soft melody seemed to be lulling her into a trance. As she grew more comfortable I also noticed her drifting slightly closer to me. I could feel the warmth emanating from her side, and I longed to embrace her and hold her against my body while we slept, but I didn't want to overstep my bounds.

And then the power went out.

Jan Di squealed, and she was suddenly against me, hugging me around the neck. I secretly smiled behind the cloak of dark despite the situation.

"It's okay," I breathed, reluctantly disentangling her arms from around my neck. "I'll get some candles." And I got out of bed.

Cautiously making my way to the nightstand, I pulled open the drawer by feel and fished out a flashlight. When I turned it on, I noticed that Jan Di was huddled almost all the way under the covers. "I'll be back,"I informed her before leaving the bedroom.

First, I made my way to Grandfather's room to check on him. He was still asleep, so I went to fetch the candles from an old bureau. I placed a couple on Grandfather's dresser and lit them, so he wouldn't fall if he got up to go to the bathroom, and I also placed one on the dining room table. Then I returned to my bedroom; I lit a couple more candles and put them on the bedside table near Jan Di. She peeked out from underneath the covers when she noticed the light, and I couldn't help but smile at how cute she was poking her head out like a gopher.

"Is that better?" I asked her. She nodded and thanked me.

"The power should return by morning, so why don't we get some sleep," and I paused before suggesting, "You can stay here if you want..."

She nodded again. Out of decency, I offered to sleep elsewhere, but she said it wasn't necessary. I had to admit I was surprised. She followed up by saying that she would feel bad if she took my bed, so I slipped back in with her.


(Jan Di's POV)

The loss of electricity had startled me, but with Ji Hoo beside me, I was beginning to feel relaxed once more. His bed was so warm and inviting, his body, even more so, and something about the heat he was producing caused me to gravitate toward him. I didn't know what he would think of me if I moved closer, but I couldn't seem to stop myself, and when I was almost touching him, I felt a gentle arm around my shoulders drawing me in. My heart thumped a few extra times, but I didn't fight it.

When Ji Hoo pulled me against his body, at first, I stiffened, not knowing quite what to do with my hands. He adjusted the comforter so it covered me completely, and he placed his arm around my back. Partially on my side, facing him, I had the urge to hug him back, but I felt nervous doing so...because even though I'd hugged Ji Hoo a thousand times, this scenario was quite different. But it was harmless, wasn't it? Just a friend comforting a friend, right? That's all it was. I reminded myself of this and tried to focus on the soothing music.

"Are you okay?" Ji Hoo asked, apparently noticing my tension.

My voice came out in a whisper. "Yes."

"Is this…?"

He didn't need to finish because I knew what he meant. "Yes," I repeated, and he hugged me a bit tighter.

Slowly, I grew more comfortable, and I ceased worrying about whether this was right or wrong. It was neither; it was nice and just the medicine I needed. Not only was I afraid of the storm, but my heart had been restless, too, because of my continued thoughts of Jun Pyo. But Sunbae always knew exactly what to do to make me feel better.

When I finally put my arms around Ji Hoo's waist beneath the covers, I heard him let out a contented sigh, and I wondered if he had been needing something like this, too. I knew he had been stressed out, with trying to work things out with Grandfather and with his disagreement with Jun Pyo. We were both weary from school and our mental angst, but it made me feel good to think that I could be a comfort to him like he always was for me.

As I nestled against him, growing bold enough to rest my head on his chest, I wondered if sometimes Sunbae needed a hug, too. I doubted he would ever ask for one, but I imagined that he probably did. He and I had always had this uncanny ability to read each other, and something in my heart was telling me that right now, he needed this, too.

Life is funny sometimes.

From the beginning, I knew that Yoon Ji Hoo was not a touchy-feely person, but as we became closer he was always able to be that way with me. I assumed his hugs and friendly touches were for my sake, and on occasion, I even wondered if it was a burden to him. And then I thought of New Caledonia…

He had asked me for a hug on the island, in his own way. He'd captured me in his arms and embraced me so tight, saying that he was cold. That night, he'd wanted comfort, and he had chosen to seek it by taking me in his arms. I can never forget the rush of emotions I felt when he did that.

And when he kissed me…

I pushed that thought from my mind. I didn't need to be thinking about our kiss-es, yes, two now, but then I vaguely remembered something from the other night… After dinner, I had some wine, and I felt like...wait, did I try to kiss him? This caused me to blush a little. I didn't think I actually had kissed him...maybe I just thought about it? I let out a small sigh, hoping it didn't cause him to worry. Well, the bright side of my crazy musings was that they'd made me forget about the storm for a while...

Speaking of which…I turned my attention back to my fear, noticing that the thunder outside seemed to have diminished. I could barely hear it anymore. I quickly became aware that Ji Hoo was softly rubbing my back in small, gentle circles. It felt nice and made me not want to move. When I looked up at his face, his eyes were semi-closed, so he seemed to be my back almost involuntarily.

I felt my cheeks heat up.

I wanted to stay awake and in this moment a bit longer, but the music combined with Ji Hoo's warmth and his soft touch was putting me right out…


When you're right here by my side
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever
I just gotta let you know
I never wanna let you go

("When you Look Me In the Eyes," the Jonas Brothers)

(Ji Hoo's POV)

Jan Di's head was resting on my chest now; I could feel her warm breath on my neck and her rhythmic heartbeat as her chest lightly rose and fell against mine. It was pleasant. However, it was also difficult...

I would never complain about my role in Jan Di's life, but it wasn't always easy being the comforting friend, especially now, having her in my arms like this. Was there anything more bittersweet than lying tangled up in bed in a dark room, lit only by candlelight, with the woman I loved-the one, I sometimes had to remind myself, who didn't love me back but only thought of me as her good friend. By sheer willpower, I was managing to control my body's response to having her pressed against me. But honestly, it wasn't all that difficult because the notion that she didn't love me back was enough to put a damper on all the sensations I was beginning to feel.

But when she squeezed me tighter and let out a small sigh, I felt my control beginning to slip. Frantically, I tried to come up with something, anything, to take my mind off less decent ideas. What was the least y thing I could think of...hmm, Jun PyoYes, that should do itJun Pyo in his underwear...no, too far! I grimaced, and my hold on Jan Di automatically loosened. She looked up at me through heavy eyelids.

At first, she seemed curious about what had caused me to release her, but then her eyelashes fluttered. I smiled at her, and while blinking back sleep, she gave me that cute little curled up smile of hers that made me want to kiss her.

Did I dare try again? I was certainly pushing my luck lately, but maybe, just maybe she would let me… This time, I should ask, though.

"Jan Di…"

"Mm?" Her eyes opened slightly wider, and she kept them on me.

'Can I kiss you?' was what I was trying to get out...but I lost my nerve.

"Nothing," I said, inwardly groaning at myself.

What the hell was wrong with me? Hadn't I vowed to do something about this? Hadn't I promised myself that things were going to be different, that I was going to try my best to make her fall for me?

Come on, Ji Hoo! It's not like you haven't kissed her before, twice now! So, what's the problem?!

"Are you comfortable?" I asked her instead.

. . .

"Jan Di…"

No answer.

When I finally looked back at her, I noticed that her eyes we closed. "...Are you asleep?"

. . .

The sound and vibration of her softly snoring against my chest answered my question. I sighed in response, but then I smiled. It wasn't like this wasn't progress, at least I hoped so. That is unless she was so comfortable with me as a friend that she could be this way with me and think nothing of it… That thought wasn't so reassuring, and that could very well be it, but for now, I wouldn't think like that. I'd just enjoy the moment. Leaning down, I kissed the top of her head.

And once again, I promised myself that somehow I was going to earn her love-the kind of love I had for her…


More and more, I start to realize
I can reach my tomorrow
I can hold my head up high
And it's all because you're by my side

("When I Look Into Your Eyes," the Jonas Brothers)

Life's Little Pleasures

(Jan Di's POV)

The very next morning, I woke up alone in Ji Hoo's room. Wiping away the sleep from my eyes, I tried to recall what happened last night. As it started coming back to me, I caught a savory scent wafting in from the next room, and I got completely distracted. Lured by the wonderful aroma, I wandered out of the bedroom, through the living room, and into the dining room.

Ji Hoo was just setting the table for breakfast, and it looked amazing. He'd created an English-style feast. I had no idea he could cook all of these foods. I only knew that he knew how to make pancakes, which were there, of course. But when did he learn to cook these other foods? I wondered.

Regardless, since I'd been there, he'd almost always made some kind of breakfast. I kind of felt bad about how often he did it, and I decided I was a terrible housemate. In my head, I promised to make breakfast for Harabeoji and him more often.

"Good morning," I greeted my sunbae.

"Good morning," he greeted back with a warm smile. "It seems the Otter is still half-asleep," he joked.

My response was something between a sigh and a groan, and I blinked a few times while attempting to fully adjust my eyes to the light. After managing to, I glanced down at my wrinkled pajamas and then back up at him. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious because he was fully-clothed and looking perfect, as usual, yet, I must look like the walking dead right now. I internally cursed the cruelty of it.

We sat down to breakfast, just the two of us. Before taking a sip of my tea, I asked where Grandfather was, and Ji Hoo informed me that he had gone to the Clinic early for an emergency but that I shouldn't worry because he had sent him off with some food.

My mouth curled up against the lip of the ceramic teacup, and I took another sip. He was always so thoughtful. You really are the perfect guy, Ji Hoo Sunbae

Then I pierced a bit of egg between my chopsticks; I stuck it into my mouth and chewed. Ji Hoo sat across from me in his usual place at the table, but I noticed he wasn't eating. Instead, he had folded his hands and was watching me. "Aren't you going to eat, Sunbae?"

"Yes," he replied with a glance to the side.

"Is something the matter?" I asked.

"No."

I took another bite.

"But I was wondering, Jan Di…" He looked at me again.

"Hm?"

"Would you...go somewhere with me after breakfast?"

I thought about it. Well, it was Saturday, and for once in a blue moon, I had nowhere else to be, so I agreed. "Sure. Where do you want to go, Sunbae?"

He pondered for ten or so seconds before saying he wasn't quite sure but that he just wanted to spend the day with me.

It was a bit surprising to me because we spent a lot of time together… We were almost constantly together, actually, except when we had separate classes or I had to work. "I'd love to spend the day with you, Sunbae," I finally answered.

Ji Hoo responded with that smile that could liquify anything in its path, and I suddenly felt my heart flutter. Even though I'd long since forced myself to let go of my feelings for Ji Hoo, his smile still had such power over me. And this particular smile, the one he was giving me now-that warm, wide one, displaying his perfect teeth in their full glory-always made my breath hitch.

. . .

We finished our breakfast, and then I went to get ready. After showering and dressing, Ji Hoo was waiting for me. He reminded me to bring a jacket and umbrella along, and we walked out to the car. He opened the door for me, and I got in. He got in on his side and put the top down on the Mini Cooper.

"Did you decide where you wanted to go?" I asked.

He simply smiled and said yes, without telling me the place. I shrugged and looked out my side while enjoying the cool breeze blowing my hair. Approximately forty-five minutes later we ended up at Yeouido Park. I'd never been, so I felt excited to go there.

"I thought this would be a nice place for a relaxing day," he explained as he parked the car.

I smiled over at him. A relaxing day was just what I needed.

It was early spring, so the cherry blossoms had just begun to peek through their buds. This park was a good place to see them, so I expected it to be busy, but it wasn't overly crowded.

"I thought about making some calls and arranging it so it was just the two of us…," Ji Hoo suddenly said, as if reading my thoughts about the park being busy. My lips parted a bit, and Ji Hoo glanced away for a moment. "You know...because it gets crowded." He looked back at me again. "But then I recalled that you enjoy being one amongst the crowd. And you would probably say something like it wasn't fair to all the others who wanted to visit here today."

I smiled and nodded my agreement.

He knew me so well…

In fact, I always felt like Ji Hoo was the only member of F4 to understand that I wanted to be just like everyone else. Thinking back on it, I appreciated his words that day when he said that Jun Pyo's and my world was no different, but the fact of the matter was that we came from very different worlds, as did Ji Hoo and I. But with Ji Hoo, I somehow felt he could live anywhere. Wealth and privilege aside, he was a special type of being...one who managed to co-exist with others but who also ran away to his own little world once in a while.

Ji Hoo and I began walking through the park. All around us, people were skating or bicycling. There were couples walking hand-in-hand, and I couldn't help but focus on that. And I started thinking about Jun Pyo, of course. Immediately, I willed myself to stop. I wouldn't think about him today; I would just enjoy myself.

Ji Hoo and I started out at the Korean Traditional Forest, walking through the rows of trees native to our little country, past a small pond covered with moss, and finally coming upon an octagonal pavilion. We walked over to take a closer look at the green and red pavilion. I snapped a few photos on my phone and then grabbed Ji Hoo by the sleeve, coaxing him to get in a selfie with me. A couple happened by and offered to take a picture of us, so I handed my phone over to the woman. Ji Hoo hesitantly put an arm around my back, and we smiled for the camera.

After thanking the kind strangers, we headed on to our next destination.

When we passed by several rows of bicycles, Ji Hoo stopped to look at them for a minute or so. And then he suggested something that really threw me. "Let's rent a tandem bicycle and go for a ride."

"What? A tandem bicycle? Are you serious?"

He nodded and caught me by the arm, practically dragging me into the rental office. I went along with it because he seemed so excited. He paid, and we were given a red bicycle with two seats. And he purchased two unused helmets for the both of us despite my insistence that a used one was fine.

I began putting my helmet on. "Have you ever been on one of these?" I asked.

"Never," he responded.

"Well...do you even know how to ride?"

Ji Hoo looked at me in amusement. "I do drive a motorcycle, you know?"

"I know, but this is a little different. Maybe I should drive," I smirked. I'd never been on one of these, either, but I knew enough about the mechanics of a two-person bike to know that it would require some extra effort from the person driving, and I was a bit worried I would be too heavy for him to pedal around. However, Ji Hoo was thin, and I had strong thighs, so I was sure I could handle driving him.

"I think I can manage," he said with a grin.

I watched Ji Hoo look over the bike, not letting me on yet, as if he didn't trust the contraption. "I'll give it a test-drive first," he said. Then he got on and took a quick ride by himself while I watched. When he returned, he hopped off, saying, "Seems okay."

"Were you really that worried, Sunbae?"

"Just a little. I wanted to make sure it was safe for you."

I smiled.

He put the kickstand down and adjusted the strap to my helmet before helping me onto the back seat. "You can drive next," he promised as he took the front seat. Then Ji Hoo kicked up the stand and pushed us off. We both started to pedal, trying to keep in sync with one another while gaining momentum.

We got into a good rhythm and drove along the bike trail, glancing here and there at the beautiful scenery. "Is it fast enough for you?" I asked once we really got going.

"Fast enough," he quipped.

We rode a bit further. "I know this thing isn't nearly as fast as my motorcycle, but you should hang on anyway. I wouldn't want you to tumble off."

"Okay, Sunbae," I gave in and placed my hands on his waist.

"I never rode a bike with someone before," I admitted aloud. It was nice, I decided. Not only that, but I felt comfortable and safe riding with him, just like on the motorcycle. And I couldn't seem to stop smiling.

I greatly enjoyed the ride along the trail, and when we got to the end, he asked if I wanted to take a turn. I did, so he stopped us and helped me off the bike. We switched places, and I began eagerly pedaling the two of us. When we approached the pond that was there a second time, I exclaimed, "Look, Sunbae, ducks!" and pointed off to my left side.

"Be careful, Jan Di-ah," Ji Hoo warned.

"Sunbae, what do you take me for, a klutz?" I spoke with bravado. It wasn't like we could go in the pond, after all, because it was fenced off...that is unless I flipped us over the railing. I guess that wasn't unthinkable.

I continued confidently, but not long after, I got swept up in watching the mama duck and her babies, and I nearly took us off the road. Ji Hoo quickly redirected the bike so that we didn't run into the fence, but it was a close one. After that, I half-expected him to revoke my driving privileges, but he didn't, only chuckled a bit and warned me again to be more careful.

After finishing our bike ride, we walked through the zelkova tree-lined Cultural Square and stopped to watch a musical performance. Someone was playing the violin in the square, and it made me think of Ji Hoo-and our first meeting. When I glanced at the man by my side, he seemed to be watching and listening intently, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Perhaps he was evaluating the music. And who could do that better than him? For my part, the music was beautiful, but I was convinced that no one could play the violin quite like Ji Hoo Sunbae. In fact, it was his musical talent that first drew me in, and it was impossible to hear him play without being deeply moved.

Next, we headed to the Grass Hill where many evergreens could be viewed alongside the path. The area was dotted with the seasonal cherry trees, too, and there was another pond. Some people had laid out blankets on the grass and were having picnics, and there were even a few tents set up.

Ji Hoo and I walked down the hill in order to see the pond. It was then that I felt a soft spring mist begin to hit me, so we took cover under a tree while I pulled the umbrella out from my bag. Since the rain was light, I shared the umbrella with him, and we continued strolling. As we headed down a hill, Ji Hoo offered his hand to me so I wouldn't fall. I reached for it, but just as I did, he slipped and fell.

"Sunbae!" I exclaimed, reaching out for him. But it was too late. He'd fallen flat on his and was just sitting there looking as if he couldn't believe he'd actually done that. It wasn't really funny, but I was still having trouble not laughing.

"Oh Sunbae, you were so worried about me falling that you fell yourself…," I pointed out the irony, but then I quickly shut up. He must be really embarrassed, and I certainly wasn't helping. He took my offered hand, though, and allowed me to help him up. Once he was standing, we began to walk again, in silence. Being slightly behind him, I caught a quick glimpse of the grass stain on the back of his pants, and I felt bad for him.

"Well, that was not how this was supposed to go," he finally muttered, breaking the silence.

"How was it supposed to go?" I asked.

"Never mind," Ji Hoo shook his head.

I shut my mouth for a few minutes, and we walked on together. I didn't say anything more until we passed a small shop. I suggested we go in and look for something for him to change into.

It seemed a fruitless endeavor, at first, but then I discovered a pair of gray sweatpants that were his size. They had Yeouido Park embroidered on them in dark blue letters. Because there was nothing else, Ji Hoo bought them, and he went to a restroom to change. He came out, totally looking like a tourist, but he pulled it off well. When he asked, a bit self-consciously, how he looked, I told him that he looked good, but somehow, I don't think he believed me. I had to admit it was odd seeing Sunbae in sweatpants. I never had before, well aside from his pajama bottoms...but it was really kind of cute.

"They don't match my shirt and jacket, though," he nearly pouted.

I scoffed and shook my head. "You are such an F4."

His lips parted a bit, and he smirked at me. "You make it sound terrible."

"No, it's not; it's…" I stopped, knowing I couldn't possibly say the right thing, and he gave me a little smile.

"Well, I saw a mall on the way here. We could stop there and get you a suitable pair," I suggested. He agreed but told me that he wanted to enjoy our time here first. I smiled widely at the fact that he would put me over his potential embarrassment-being a stylish F4 and all…

The last place we went to was the Nature's Ecosystem Forest. We walked through it, observing the swamp, waterline, grassland, and forest sections, along with the creatures that resided in those areas. I took some more pictures, including a few of Ji Hoo, who protested at first but then let me.

After leaving the park, we made a stop at the international (IFC) shopping mall. We managed to find a pair of pants for Ji Hoo, and then we enjoyed a bit more shopping before a growl coming from my stomach let me know that it was nearly dinnertime. Ji Hoo had wanted to take me to a fancy restaurant elsewhere, but I suggested just eating at the mall. I would have been satisfied with a pretzel, but we happened upon the Aloha Poke restaurant, and Ji Hoo thought I'd like Hawaiian cuisine. He was right; it was delicious.


It was already dark by the time we began driving home. Ji Hoo called to check on Grandfather, and from what I could hear on the other end, he was telling Ji Hoo that he had already eaten and that we should 'take our time' getting home. Ji Hoo followed his advice and took the scenic route home through the countryside, and it was really peaceful.

As we walked into the house, I thanked Ji Hoo. "Today was fun, Sunbae."

He nodded and smiled. "Thank you for accompanying me."

"Of course! ...Oh!" I remembered something. "Now, give me your pants."

"Wh-what?" he stammered.

I had to stifle a laugh. "The ones you got the grass stain on. I need to treat them, so the stain doesn't set," I explained. "It might already be too late." I grumbled at the fact that I didn't bring along a travel stain remover like I should carry with me, but maybe there was still something I could do.

"Oh, right." He fetched his pants and handed them to me, neatly folded. And I rushed off to the laundry room.


How long will I be waiting
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you
In the best way that I can
Can't take a day without you here
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear

("When I Look At You," the Jonas Brothers)

(Ji Hoo's POV)

Long after Jan Di went to bed that night, I remained wide awake. It had been a pleasant day, albeit a little embarrassing when I fell. As I walked the floor of my home, stepping lightly so as not to disturb anyone, I thought about today-and a lot about Jan Di.

Even though I'd already told her I loved her, I had decided to show my feelings for Jan Di in some way every day. Today, I took her to the park, but what about tomorrow? I didn't really know what I was doing here because wooing a woman was not something I was practiced at. This seemed more like a job for Yi Jeong or Woo Bin, and I was sure they'd have some advice for me, but it wasn't really something I could go to them about. Not only would I probably not like their advice, but they would most likely be angry with me for going after a friend's girl, even though the said friend was engaged to another woman. Regardless, they would never approve; they still considered Jan Di to be Jun Pyo's. Was I the only one who saw that she wasn't? It was true that Jan Di and Jun Pyo loved each other very deeply, and I felt bad for the both of them, but Jan Di didn't deserve to suffer like this. Even if my efforts to win her affection only served to distract her from her pain, it would be worth it.

I sighed and paced the floor, wondering what I could possibly do to express the depths of my love for her. OK, so I was no Casanova or Don Juan, but that wasn't to say that I didn't have skills…

Before I drifted off, I had a thought, and first thing the next morning, I made a few calls.


If I could be honest, here in this moment
I've been so nervous to stand here with you

But just for a moment, I'll pretend it's just you

Tomorrow, I'll open my eyes and whisper to my wife
'I belong to you'
And I will wait to hear you say
As a tear rolls down your face
'I belong to you'

("I Belong to You," Jacob Lee)

The Next Morning…

(Jan Di's POV)

As my eyes began to flutter open the next morning, I took in the warmth of the sun on my face, and I could feel the brightness of the room through my partially opened lids. When I opened my eyes wider, I was in the same room I'd gotten accustomed to sleeping in over the past two weeks, but something was different. The first thing I noticed was a strong fragrance filling the space, and when I fully opened my eyes I could see that I was surrounded on all sides by a sea of blue flowers.

I bolted upright in my bed, and my first instinct was to call for Ji Hoo.

I heard him come running right away. He slid open my door and asked, "Jan Di, are you alright?"

"Yes, but…" From my cross-legged position, I motioned around me.

Ji Hoo blinked a few times. "What's all this?"

"Don't you know?" I raised a brow at him.

He shrugged, but I could see him fighting a small smile.

"Did...you do this?"

"Why do you assume it was me, Jan Di?"

"Because...well...who else?" He was keeping a pretty good poker face on, and I admit, for a second, I questioned it. "Well, if you didn't do it then someone snuck in her early this morning…"

"You must have a secret admirer, Jan Di."

"Secret admi-but...b-but…," I stammered.

"It's a little over-the-top, but I guess this person must really like you."

"Are you being cute?" I asked him.

He gave me a one-armed shrug, and I squinted over at him skeptically. He wasn't fooling me a bit, but the question was, why did he do it? "So, you're telling me you let some stranger come into your house, sneak into my bedroom early in the morning, and bring all of these in here?" I questioned my not-so-secret admirer as I scanned the room. The flowers were bluebells, I recognized, and there were easily a hundred of them.

"I would never allow that," Ji Hoo said.

"Okay, then…?"

He didn't explain himself, which drove me crazy. I growled and searched through the flowers, finally coming across a card. "Well, let's see who this secret admirer is, then."

Ji Hoo leaned against the door frame with a serious expression on his face while I read the card silently...

I thought about sending you roses, but everyone does that. Then I recalled that you once told me that bluebells were your favorite flower. When I asked you why you liked them so much you told me that they are special because they are wildflowers, but not only that; they are also considered a weed, just like you. You said they have long, tough roots, so they can really take a beating and that they are really stubborn, just like you, you said. Aside from that, you told me that they are really beautiful and underrated. I thought, just like Geum Jan Di.

There was no signature on the card, but the sender was clear. He was the only one I'd ever said that to. It had been the evening we played the piano together after Madam Kang had called me a weed…

I put the card down in my lap and looked up at him, feeling my eyes begin to moisten. "S-sunbae…," I uttered. "You remembered…"

"Of course. I do pay attention, even if it doesn't seem like it," he quipped.

I let out a small laugh-cry and wiped at my face with my hand.

His brow furrowed, and he was at my side instantly, trying to wipe the tears away for me. "Jan Di-ah, what's wrong? Don't you like them? You're not allergic, are you?"

Sniffling, I shook my head. "It's not that, and of course, I like them. I love them. They're really beautiful...it's just that...I...don't deserve these..." I could only imagine how hard they must have been to find and what it must have cost him to get so many of them delivered here. His house was a bit remote from any businesses.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well…" Suddenly, I wanted to demand to know why he was doing this, why he was being so sweet to me when I couldn't really do anything for him in return, though I wanted to…

Someone once said it is the little things that matter in life…the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that make all the difference… I had begun to realize this more and more while living with Ji Hoo. Forget the grand gestures F4 was so fond of; I preferred real life, the little pleasures, like a kind word of encouragement before a big exam, Ji Hoo making breakfast and adding an extra ingredient he knew I liked or leaving one out that I didn't. I even enjoyed Harabeoji's colorful breakfast faces, and Ji Hoo was starting to emulate that.

I appreciated my daily life with Ji Hoo and Haraebeoji so much. I loved them dearly, and they had already become like family to me, though not half as much trouble as my own. I did miss my own family a lot, but Ji Hoo and Haraebeoji made it easier, and I wasn't so lonely with them around.

Yoon Ji Hoo was one of life's beautiful things, too… As he said, he paid attention to what I said and to what mattered to me. He always took care of me and put my wants and needs before his own. All of a sudden, I really felt like I took him for granted, and that made me cry harder.

Ji Hoo seemed flabbergasted; he probably thought me a crazy woman. And immediately, he took me in his arms. After a moment, I hugged him back and rested my chin on his shoulder. "Thank you, Sunbae..thank you so much," I whispered, wanting to be sure he knew I was grateful.

Yes, I was positive life was about the little things, like playing a song for someone to ease their stress, going for rides together, giving them the extra pancake, consoling them during a thunderstorm…all things that he did for me on a regular basis.

Probably the silliest little thing that I appreciated happened one night while Ji Hoo and I were eating dinner…

I was seated next to him at the dining room table when suddenly, he said, "Jan Di-ah…you have a little something...," and he pointed at my mouth. "Huh?" I touched around my mouth, and then I felt it. I'd been a little messy, and some sauce had dribbled down my chin. He had given me an affectionate smile. I looked for my napkin, which had fallen to the floor, but before I could go for it, he had taken his cloth napkin and gently wiped away the sauce for me. It reminded me of the day he wiped the flour off after the Shinwha masses attacked me.

Still hugging him now, I thought about all of these things, and when we finally broke apart, I looked into his warm eyes. "Why?" I blurted out. "Why are you doing this?" It probably came out rude, and I didn't mean for it to, but I really felt it was unfair that he should do so much for me when I did so little.

"Because I want to show you how I feel," he said.

I stared at him.

Ji Hoo took a deep breath and continued, "And I won't stop showing you how I feel until you understand." He paused. "...I think one day you're going to open your eyes and see it, Jan Di, how much I love you...and how happy we'd be together…I'll wait for that day." With that, he stood and walked out of my room, leaving me stunned.

To Be Concluded.. 


A/N: So, sorry for the steamy promise from last chapter. Didn't quite get there because of course, I write too much, so this became a three-parter. If Ji Hoo seemed OOC at times, keep in mind that this is AU, and he needed to be a little bolder to make things happen, haha. I think it was inside of him… Well, Yeouido Park really exists, and I tried to describe it accurately. I did make up the gift shop. I don't know if there is one there, but it served my purposes. I've never been to this park, but I have been to Seonyudo Park, which is on the other side of the river. Note, this is not a songfic, though I do kind of like those...I just happened to like the lyrics to those two songs a lot, and they were fitting.

Last Part coming soon! Subheadings: Falling in Love, Longing, and Forever Love… Next time: Ji Hoo continues to express his feelings through actions and words. Jan Di's feelings for him grow, and she gets a bit more proactive, but she'll continue to be awkward as usual, lol. To come, Wedding Contest, car washing, Jeju (my alteration of these scenes), discussions, romance, of course, and more!

Thanks for the support. Please review if you feel so inclined. I want to know what you think! 

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marie_974 #1
Chapter 1: je n'ai rien compris à cette histoire
seamusmommy #2
Chapter 4: So, I never did comment on this chapter. I know I read it. I love our selfless Jihoo but I'm sure I'd be just a but frustrated in JanDi 's shoes. At least her mind and heart was made up n Jihoo didn't get hurt. I was sad for JaeKyun but she turned out to be the more mature person. She wanted it all or nothing, so she chose nothing. But I wonder if JunPyo would ever give his heart to her or would maybe her secretary catch her eye?
liSSie #3
Chapter 3: Love the part of Jihoo's confession/dreams for the future with Jandi. Did you really intend for JanDi to hear all of his confession. I though it was good for her to hear everything and how she responded to his dreams with a couple o f her own. Could not be any happier for Jihoo. So I'll be waiting for the conclusion over the weekend.
seamusmommy #4
Chapter 3: I like the progression...well done. A little nervous about the upcoming wedding. JanDi always a clutz, lol. Becareful, Jihoo is a gentleman but he's still a guy...yeah...things can spontaneously just happen... *wink*wink* lol
seamusmommy #5
Chapter 2: I totally wsnt to do Yeodo park one day. I guess it's winter but wading through the fountain in the warm months would be fun. So, back to JanHoo. Poor Jihoo, i always think JanDi forgets he's a guy in flrsh and blood. Junpyo, i'm not sure he really chose Shinhwa over JanDi but i agree with Jihoo
Unless he finds a way out of his predicament he has no business contacting JanDi. It's not fair to JaeKyung either. And JanDi could job getting that stoic psir together.
seamusmommy #6
Chapter 1: hmm...I feel this is a different Jihoo than we know. The shopping incident was cute. And considering I just went to the grocery store this morning with hubby, I know all about the kid in a candy store. I actually thought this was for the other story you were working on. I'm not sure my feelings on this Jihoo, yet. It's good that he's being upfront with his feelings. It's like she needed to know that JunPyo isn't the only man that can make her happy. But I feel sad that he puts himself down as if feeling useless. And typical JanDi blows a chance to have a perfectly romantic evening with a perfect guy. Anyway...I will stay tuned and see how Jihoo turns the tables. Jihoo fighting
Hyunhee86
#7
In the beginning i was very nervous for jihoo deciding to express his feelings for jandi. I know jandi is in love with him too but because her heart is in many places shes confuse. Im all for jihoo even though pun gyo is in the end a nice guy too. I believe jihoo and jandi have that soulful connection. Jandi is still in shock i believe that someone like jihoo would be interested. I really enjoyed reading this. I wonder if jandi will express her true feelings soon. Jihoo got brave enough to express hisfeelings. I think jandi should at least give him a answer on her thoughts and feelings. I feel like the more she is silent the more jihoo heart aches. Great job author. I always enjoy your stories. The visions are amazing. Thank you