Chansung

Chansung had managed to stop crying before Jay came home. When he'd looked at himself in his newly cleaned bathroom mirror, he looked like someone had died. His eyes were bloodshot, puffy and red-ringed. He'd done the best he could to hide the fact that he'd been crying his broken heart out.

The worst thing he could do now was to show weakness in front of his she-wolf ex. She could smell blood in the air from miles away. 

Thankfully, Jongkook had been waiting for her in the car and she only stayed long enough to shove Jay through the door. She didn't even kiss her son goodbye.

Chansung would have to remember to add that to his list of things she'd done over the years to ignore or neglect Jay. Once he got his head wrapped around the project, he was sure it would take hours and probably more like days to write it all down.

"Jay? Are you ready to make dinosaur nuggets?"

"Yes!" Jay jumped up from the couch where he'd been watching Toy Story and raced into the kitchen "Daddy, why isn't Lee-sunsengnim here for nuggets and fries? It's his favorite meal."

Chansung faked a smile for Jay. Hearing Junho's name was like a kick to the gut, though he couldn't blame the little boy for asking "Dinosaur nuggets and fries are your favorite meal. Junho is having dinner at home tonight because there's something I need to talk to you about. Something important."

"Are you getting me a puppy?" Jay's dark eyes glowed with delight.

Chansung shook his head "You know we can't have a puppy living in this apartment." the way things were going with the custody suit, he might never get the chance to buy Jay a puppy. 

"Yeah but when you marry Lee-sunsengnin we can live at his house. The big back yard is perfect for a puppy and a growing boy!" Jay was all smiles.

"Why do you think me and Lee-sunsengnim are getting married?" Chansung didn't know if he was more elated or terrified by Jay's train of thought.

"You said that people get married when they're best friends. You and Lee-sunsengnim are best friends, right?" Jay drew out the last word and giggled.

Chansung wanted so much to laugh along with his son, but couldn't muster the strength to fake it "That is what I said, Jay, but not all best friends get married." he needed to man up and just tell Jay what was going on, enough beating around the bush. Being apart from Junho was his new reality and the sooner he started accepting it, the better off they would all be "I need to tell you something important, so I need you to really listen."

"Do I need to put my listening ears on?" Jay asked excitedly.

Chansung nodded. Putting on "listening ears" was something Junho taught the kids on the first day of school. Jay made a motion with his hands like he was putting on a pair of earphones and his eyes snapped up to Chansung. 

"Okay, so you know how you live part of the time with Mommy and part of the time with me?"

Jay nodded "I wish I could live with you all the time, Daddy."

"I wish the same thing, buddy." Chansung took a deep breath praying for the right words to say for his son "Mommy wants you to live with her all the time."

"No! I don't wanna live with Mommy!" Jay shouted, his eyes burning with anger "I hate Jongkook!"

"Hwang Jaebeom!" Chansung hated chastising Jay for being honest about his feelings, but he couldn't have Jay going around saying he hated people "We don't say that word in this house. You know better than that."

"It's true I hate him more than I hate green beans!" Jay's angry little face was serious.

Chansung barked out a rough laugh. After what happened this afternoon with Junho, he felt like he'd never laugh again "That's a lot of hate, Jay." his son would get full body shivers when he tried to eat a green bean, then the gagging would start.

Jay nodded emphatically "He's not a nice man! He doesn't play with me like Lee-sunsengnim and you do. He yells at me too." Jay frowned "Go away you little -ball!" Jay shouted loudly. 

"Jongkook calls you names?" what the actual ? Where the was Jea when her fiancé was verbally abusing their son? Probably lost in the bottom of a bottle of Pinot Noir.

Jay nodded his head so hard his hair flew all over.

"Where's Mommy when this happens?" Chansung held his breath, not wanting to hear Jay's answer, but knowing he needed to listen.

Shrugging, Jay reached for the bag of French fries, pulling the tab off the top of the bag and shaking out the frozen potatoes on the cookie sheet "In bed. She gets lots of headaches."

Chansung had no doubt what Jay said was true "So if Mommy is in bed, who puts you to bed?"

"No one." Jay said simply, reaching for the sealed bag of dinosaur nuggets "Can you open this, Daddy?"

Taking the bag from Jay, Chansung seethed on the inside, hoping his son couldn't see the anger burning in his eyes. On the nights when Jay was with him, Chansung cuddled with Jay while they watched half an hour of television together. Then it was off to brush his teeth and wash his face before he'd put on his pajamas and pick out two books to read. Once Jay was in bed, Chansung would climb in with him and they would read the books together. Then it was kisses and hugs and lots of "I love yous" before it was lights out. 

It broke Chansung's heart to think that none of those things happened when Jay spent the night with his mother. Usually Jay was a sound sleeper, but he had night terrors on occasion. Would anyone even get up to comfort him if Jay started screaming in the middle of the night?

It was one more thing to add to the list he was going to make for Jongup, but it gave him no comfort. It only made him feel worse at the prospect of losing Jay.

Spreading the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets on the cookie sheet, Chansung kissed Jay's head and stuck their dinner in the oven. He didn't want to finish the talk with Jay, but it was too late to turn back now "Do you think we can finish talking about living with Mommy without you yelling and being disrespectful?"

Jay folded his arms across his chest, looking like he was thinking it over. Finally, he nodded "I can be respectful, Daddy."

"I know you can, buddy." Chansung smiled at his son and took his usual seat at their kitchen table "Mommy and I have to go talk to a judge about which home is the best home for you to live in."

"You mean Judge Judy?" Jay jumped off his seat and danced around the room.

Judge Judy was his mother's favorite show on netflix. In exchange for cookies, Jay would let Grams watch her show. In his mother's opinion, it was a win-win situation. It also helped Chansung explain things better to Jay, since he knew what a courtroom was and what a judge did "No buddy, it won't be Judge Judy, but it will be someone who does the same job. The judge will listen to Mommy say why you should live with her and then they'll listen to why I think you should live with me."

"Then the judge makes a ruling!" Jay grinned, climbing up on Chansung's lap.

"That's right. You're so smart." Chansung hugged the little boy tight "There's one more thing you need to know."

"Okay."

"If the judge lets you live with Mommy, she and Jongkook are going to move far away."

"All the way to Lotte?" Jay's eyes were as big as dinner plates.

Chansung laughed. He and his parents had taken Jay to a Lotte Spinners game over the summer. The Spinners were an A ball affiliate of the Boston Red Sox Special Day. Jay had loved the game but complained that it took hours to get there. It was a forty minute ride from their house, but to Jay it might as well have been to the moon "No, not to Lotte. Mommy wants to move to Joongkook's house in Connecticut, that is in America."

"Is that the town after Lotte?" 

Chansung shook his head "It's about sixteen hours with the plane away from our house."

"Sixteen hours?" Jay hopped off Chansung's lap and fake fainted, holding his hand against his forehead "Is that how long it takes to watch Toy Story?"

"That's long enough to watch the movie ten times in a row."

Jay sat on the floor and stared up at Chansung "But I could see you all the time like I do now, right?"

Chansung felt his breath catch in his throat. If Jea won full custody, she could decide when and if he saw Jay. He could fly all that way to Connecticut and she could slam the door in his face "No, Jay. We wouldn't see each other all the time."

Jay climbed back to his feet "Well that settles it! I'm not going!" he stomped his feet and folded his arms over his chest as if that decided everything, then he burst into tears.

Chansung scooped the little boy into his arms and held on tight. He was going to do everything in his power to win this fight no matter what it took. Losing Jay would kill him and then would kill his relationship with Junho. There was only one way on earth that his -on-wheels ex-wife was going to take everything he loved away from him. Over his dead body.

Junho

Junho was sitting on his couch watching an episode of Hawaii Five-0. Not even a half- and wet McGarrett could cheer him up. He should have been over at Chansung's house enjoying dinosaur nuggets and fries with Jay, laughing and being a happy family. Instead he was home in his pajamas feeling so heartsick he was nauseous.

When the doorbell rang out of the blue, Junho barely moved. He knew it wasn't Chansung and Jay at his door and he wasn't in the mood to hear about Ewon's latest conquest or to listen to Minjun complain about Ok Taecyeon for the next few hours.

He'd just stay where he was and eventually whoever was at the door would get the message and piss off.

"Damn it, Junho! I know you're in there!" Minjun bellowed from the other side of the front door "Open up or I'm using the hidden key!"

... Of course his friends knew where he kept the hidden key. Rolling his eyes, Junho got off the couch and headed to the door. When he opened it, he saw Minjun looking under the rock where the key was hidden "Come in."

Minjun straightened up and headed toward the open door, picking up a brown paper bag with handles "Brought your favorites from that new Thai place over on Itaewon Street."

Junho nodded and let his best friend into his house. As much as he wanted to be alone five minutes ago, now he was happy that Minjun was here. Take-out from Sweet Thyme was just a bonus.

He followed Jun into the kitchen where his friend had already gotten out plates and forks and was unpacking the bag.

"Jongup called." Minjun said simply, dumping a spring roll on each of their plates.

"He didn't tell you what happened with Chansung, did he?"

"Hell no! That would be against lawyer-patient something-or-other." Jun winked at his friend "He just said that you could use a friend tonight, so here I am." he dumped a portion of Crazy Noodle on Junho's plate before dumping the rest onto his own.

Junho snorted. He knew Minjun was just trying to cheer him up. He took his seat and grabbed the spring roll, devouring half of it one bite.

"Now that you've eaten, tell me what happened with Chansung." Jun dug into the large rice noodles on his plate.

"Now that I've eaten? Jun, I had one bite."

"Exactly, you've eaten. Now dish." Jun hopped up from the table and grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge.

It was a school night for both of them. It wouldn't do him any good to drown his sorrows in beer anyway. It wasn't going to change anything. 

"Chansung and I said 'I love you', we ed like bunnies and when Chansung got back from his meeting with Jongup, he broke up with me, on your brother's orders."

"I..." Minjun shook his head as if he didn't quite understand "What!? You're saying Jongup made Chansung dump you?"

"Calm down. I'll tell you the whole story. I was sort of hoping I could get away with the abridged version."

Minjun laughed "Let's go with unabridged on this one. Start from the beginning."

Taking a big bite of the noodles, Junho tried to order his thoughts "I went to Chansung's this morning to tell him about Jongup's offer to hear about his case. I was hoping we could talk and maybe get back together, which is exactly what happened." Junho sighed, remembering what it felt like when he and Chansung were joined as one.

"And the two of you did the nasty?" Jun waggled his eyebrows, a -eating grin on his face.

"Yes, infant, twice!" Junho rolled his eyes. He didn't blame Jun for wanting details. His friend had been single since Ok Taecyeon broke his heart "Then we cuddled for a while and kept saying how much we loved each other."

Jun nodded before looking up at Jnuho "How did that feel?" 

Junho could see the longing look in his friend's eyes "Like I was the luckiest man on the face of the earth."

Minjun snorted "Okay, Lou Gehrig, what happened next?"

Junho wanted to laugh, but couldn't. He had felt like the luckiest man alive when he'd been lying in Chansung's arms "Then Chansung left for the meeting. He was going to pick up Jay's favorite meal so we could have a family dinner and then we were going to tell Jay that we were a couple."

"Damn." Minjun sighed, pounding his fist on the table, making his bottle of water jump "And here I thought the worst thing that would happen here was me having to give you the friendly principal chat about getting too close to one of your students."

"You almost had to, Jun. Chansung said he wanted me to raise Jay with him..." Junho trailed off. He'd been sitting on top of the world when Chansung asked him to co-parent Jay.

"Get to the part about Jongup. I need to know all of the details before I beat him bloody."

"Come on, don't be like that. Jongup's only doing his job. He said that since the heart of Jea's case against Chansung is his ual orientation getting in the way of his ability to parent, Jongup thought it best if Chansung were single. That way Jea would have no solid proof that her bigoted claims were fact rather than a fiction of her diseased imagination."

Minjun nodded thoughtfully as he chewed "At least you'll be able to text and talk on the phone. That should make the separation easier on you both."

Junho shook his head "Jongup said no contact at all. Jea's lawyers will order phone and email records and then she'll have evidence."

"Evidence that two men love each other and want to build a life together!" Jun's eyes blazed with anger.

"I know. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. We only have to stay apart as long as this whole thing lasts, then we can get back together."

"How long is it supposed to last?"

"Anywhere from months to years, depending on how Jea's lawyers want to play it. She wants to marry her rich fiancé and move to his house in Connecticut. So I would assume she'd want this to be over sooner rather than later."

"Right." Minjun agreed "The sooner that frigid gets married, the sooner she gets that poor bastard's money." 

"She just wants Jay to hurt Chansung." Junho shook his head, unable to believe that a mother could act that way. Jay wasn't his blood, but he'd die to protect that boy.

"You know..." Minjun shoved a forkful of vegetables into his mouth "...in all the years we've been working at Little Wonder Clovers, I've never met a mother like her before. It's obvious in her body language that she hates being a mother and if she hates being a mother..."

"Then she hates her son." Junho finished for him.

Jun nodded "So what are you going to do?"

Junho snorted. He had been so focused on the pain, that he hadn't given any thought to what came next "I take a page out of the AA handbook and take things one day at a time."

"How long are you going to wait for Chansung?"

"Until the sun stops shining and the birds stop singing." Junho shrugged at the surprised look on Minjun's face and forked up a mouthful of noodles. Now that he had a plan, he was starving.