~This rain ain't gonna change us, so what's the use to cry?

Downpour

 

 

191027


 

 

‘You’re quiet today,’ Seungwan observes as she puts on her light jacket. The weather is unpredictable these days, especially considering the constant cool currents from Taiwan, passing through the city every few days. An extra layer cannot hurt.

Bae Joohyun is indeed silent, seated at the table and mindlessly looking through her Katok messages, waiting for Seungwan to get ready for their outing. She came a little too early so Seungwan made her a drink and Seulgi kept company for a moment before Jongdae and their other friends picked her up for their pre-game and night out.

But Seungwan and Joohyun are not on their way to Gwangalli to drink with everyone else – tonight, the two of them are planning to visit the gay bar in Jung-gu that Seungwan suggested earlier in the week. 

‘Hmm? No, I was just wondering…’

Joohyun doesn’t know why it’s so difficult to just invite Seungwan to the opening banquet. In fact, she doesn’t even know why she’d want the other woman there. But she’s been thinking about it ever since Yongsun suggested it; she thought that she’d already dismissed the idea but it keeps resurfacing, forcing Joohyun to confront her resurfacing desire to have her appear. Is it simply because it is the first time she will be forced to step out without Junmyeon by her side? This must be it. She needs a friend there for moral support. Sehun would do, she supposes, but he’s not what she needs right now. He cannot possibly understand what his sister is going through.

But maybe Seungwan can, at least a little bit.

‘Say, would you like to come to my opening banquet next weekend?’ Joohyun says before she can change her mind. She purposely avoid looking in the other’s direction, busying herself with her light drink. There is a shuffling behind her.

‘What did you say?’ Seungwan emerges from her room. The door has remained opened the whole time but Seungwan was further hidden, still changing. ‘Sorry, I didn’t catch that.’

‘I was wondering if you’d come to the opening of our new show on Saturday night. I have an extra invitation, so…’

‘Like a date?’ Seungwan replies without missing a beat.

‘What? No!’ Seungwan’s face falls a little. Yikes. ‘I’m sorry, this really came out wrong. You know that most colleagues don’t know… I’m not out to them yet and I’m not sure if I want to be, to be completely honest. I thought… maybe you’d still like to come. As a friend, a guest. The openings are always nice, especially if you’re into art. There will be an invited key note speaker, too, food and fancy alcohol. What do you say?’

Seungwan mentally assesses the situation, Joohyun can tell. She also knows that the younger woman is not really that appreciative of fine arts. After a few seconds, she breaks the silence,

‘Sounds alright,’ she shrugs. ‘Can I bring a friend, then?’

Okay, so Joohyun didn’t expect this turn of events but she supposes that it’s not a big deal. Seungwan doesn’t seem to have that many close friends so bringing Seulgi or Sehun could probably directly benefit Joohyun a well. For moral support, of course.

‘Yes, why not. I’ll have a plus one written on your invitation if you’d like.’

‘Sure, cool,’ Seungwan smiles at the idea, averting her gaze and reaching for the small bag she’s prepared beforehand.

Joohyun thinks that Seungwan looks good tonight, despite the stark contrast they stand in to one another. Black high-waisted denims, a simple dark grey t-shirt and her infamous combat boots. Just a smudge of eye liner to give more depth to her usually natural look.

Joohyun, however – she has dressed to impress. Subtle yet eye-catching make-up with dark red lips, a dress that she has purchased on a whim and would otherwise be a just an inch too short to attend social events in, coupled with her fierce, decisive attitude.

Tonight it would all fall back into place. She is here and she is ready. For what, she’s not exactly sure but she is ready. Just in case.

She’s even shaved carefully.

Point is, she’s anxious, waiting for something to happen tonight.

‘Do I look alright?’ She ends up asking Seungwan, though she is she sure that she does. She just needs somebody to say it back to her and it’s uncomfortable that the other woman has not said anything since Joohyun arrived at her flat. Joohyun is not used to fishing for compliments, they are usually given to her freely.

‘Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course. You look great,’ Seungwan reassures her quickly. Joohyun thinks that there is a shadow passing through the younger’s expression but it’s gone just as quickly and Joohyun has nothing to hang on to. Additionally, the praise feels off-handed and weak but it’s not like Joohyun can accuse her friend of not appreciating her enough. Now, that’d be something else. ‘Let’s go, our uber is here.’

The ride is barely twenty minutes long and they get off on the main street. It’s not that they try to avoid attention, more that it’s close to ten thirty pm and the narrow alleys along which the clubs are located are already crowded with people standing outside, talking and socialising. There is no way for a car to pass through even if it tried.

Kingdom is behind one of the smaller entrances two streets away. Joohyun sees some people lined up, waiting to enter. The entrance fee is ten thousand won.

It looks… cosy, for a lack of a better word though admittedly, Joohyun didn’t expect this. She doesn’t really know what she did expect but in retrospect, it was probably closer to the fantasy of entering a high-class bar, like the one Junmyeon sometimes took her to in Apgujeong. She’d take a seat at the counter, ask for a Martini. She’d be wearing a beautiful dress (well, at least that one checks out). Eventually, another sophisticated woman would sit next to her, clearly interested but still subtle enough to intrigue, rather than overwhelm Joohyun. They’d talk about art, the other would be a gallery curator or someone of that kind. She’d have spent her summer in France, practicing her already perfect French. Her expression and mannerisms would be very controlled, poised. Elegant.

‘Oh, !’ Seungwan bumps into somebody, spilling some of their beer on her denims. She quickly assesses the damage, eventually shrugging. ‘Alright, whatever. You can’t see that much.’ She murmurs to herself, pleased.

The perfect woman would definitely not do that.

Joohyun clears .

‘This looks good,’ she prompts an exchange, looking around as they take place in the queue. It’s noisy, the music from various open doors blasting onto the street, creating a one-of-a-kind cacophony of nearly assaulting sounds.

‘Probably not what you’re used to.’ Seungwan laughs, seeing right through Joohyun’s apprehension. ‘I told you it’s not what you’re looking for. It’s not suggestive flirting and wine. It’s more like a wham, bam, thank you ma’m sort of scene around here.’ Then she lowers her voice. ‘If you’ve just looking for a hook-up tonight, you’ll have plenty of choice. Everyone’s looking at you,’ she adds.

Suddenly, Joohyun doesn’t know if it’s a good sign.

‘I told you, I’m not interested in a hook-up,’ Joohyun repeats, somewhat offended. Seungwan shrugs again.

‘I’m just saying. I don’t know how many suitable candidates with a PhD in art and knowledge of fine dining we can find in there but we’ll try nonetheless.’

‘You’re mocking me again,’ Joohyun observes, but a small smile is already making its way to her lips. Seungwan grins in response.

‘I’ll try my best to make it a good experience for you,’ she promises solemnly.

The interior of the club is nothing like Joohyun’s dreams were but it’s fine. In fact, perhaps she can go home and start fantasising of other things. The strangely rustic interior could be a good background for that of a cowgirl approaching Joohyun and hooking up with her in the back room.

Joohyun has never been particularly aroused by sweat, smoke or spaces that one could call wild, but she might as well give it a try.

The two find a small table towards the back of the room. At least it’s clean, Joohyun thinks before she can stop herself. It’s not that uncomfortable though the masses of people passing them by are hard to forget.

‘What do you want? I’ll get us the first round. Will you be fine here for a moment?’ Seungwan puts down her bag, taking out a few bills. Joohyun nods. She’s not a child, after all.

 

 

 

Seungwan is perched against the counter, waiting for their beers. She grabs them, ready to walk back to their table but she stops at the sight of another person already seated next to Joohyun. Her friend doesn’t look like she is enjoying the conversation, though; in fact, she looks relieved when she catches Seungwan’s eye, silently beckoning her to come back.

She does, putting down the two tall glasses and sending the unknown woman an unsure smile. The other looks plain enough, clad in denims and a red t-shirt. When they face each other, the new comer looks startled and immediately stands up.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were here with someone,’ she turns to Joohyun apologetically and quickly leaves before any of the two can say anything.

‘What… just happened? Did I scare off your new friend? I thought you wanted me to come back to the table.’ Seungwan is trying to stay neutral, though she finds it a little hard. She knew what she was getting into when she promised to bring Joohyun along for one of her nights out. She also sees all the looks the other is getting, even right now as they’ve sat down out of immediate sight. It was just a matter of time before this or that person braved up to approach Joohyun.

Seungwan is still attracted to Joohyun, it’s hard to pretend otherwise. Even with her somewhat prickly attitude, Bae Joohyun is an interesting person to be around. Seungwan knows, has been told repeatedly that the feelings are not reciprocated yet, it doesn’t seem an easy task to watch her flirt with others. The sour taste of not being good enough herself lingers.

‘No, please. Thank you. That girl totally ambushed me.’ Seungwan raises her eyebrows at that.

‘Did she try anything on you? Should we call the bouncers?’ She is now alarmed.

‘No! Oh my goodness, no. Just… She came over right after you left, offering to buy me a drink.’ Seungwan her eyebrow again, waiting for the rest of the story. ‘She said I was too pretty to be sitting here alone.’ When nothing else follows, Seungwan cannot help but ask,

‘That’s it?’

‘Don’t you think it’s a little too forward? She made me very uncomfortable.’

Seungwan fights the amusement bubbling inside her, biting her lip to prevent the wide grin from splitting her face. It’s a losing battle though, for she eventually chuckles deeply.

‘I don’t know what to say to that,’ she admits. ‘By local standards, that was a reasonably mild invitation to flirt and get to know each other.’

‘It felt very invasive,’ Joohyun responds, grabbing her beer and taking a good swing out of the bottle.

‘Well, it was not. My last relationship, albeit brief, started right here, on the dance floor. My ex-girlfriend d me as we were dancing, then we had a few drinks and then we left, if you know what I mean.’

It’s too dark to tell for sure, but Seungwan thinks that she sees a blush on Joohyun’s face. An unwelcomed one – its owner seems a little irritated at her own inexplicable bashfulness.

‘Well, either way, this bird’s gone. Perhaps it would be easier for you to indeed sit alone. I can go to the bar, keep an eye on you from afar.’

‘No, please. Please, stay.’ There is a hand on Seungwan’s wrist and Joohyun’s pleading eyes render her immobile.

‘Well, alright but… It will be more difficult this way. Some women might be interested but will not approach, thinking we’re together,’ Seungwan reasons.

‘I’ll take that chance. It’s… too much right now. I don’t wanna be alone.’ Seungwan nods in understanding.

The next two hours pass by quickly and surprisingly to Seungwan, the stream of contenders for Joohyun’s attention remains undeterred despite Seungwan’s presence by her side. Some ask for a dance, some pull up a chair to talk to them, though clearly more interested in Joohyun. Seungwan even runs into some friends and introduces them to Joohyun.  

More than a handful of times, Joohyun grabs Seungwan’s hand lying on the table, a silent signal to anyone attuned that they’re together. She refuses all offers, regardless.

She should have been prepared by now, but the behaviour still takes Seungwan by surprise.

‘I know that you have your standards and all, but you’ve been curtly rejecting everyone who’s been at our table all night. You do realise that you actually have to talk to people to get to know them, right? So far I’ve been doing all the talking, even flirting on your behalf,’ Seungwan deadpans but not in a mean way. She’s mostly concerned.

‘They’re just… not my type,’ Joohyun replies helplessly.

‘So what’s your type?’ The resounding silence is proof enough to Seungwan. Plus, it’s not like she hasn’t already heard the long list of Bae Joohyun’s requirements. ‘You know, I have a feeling that whoever it is that you’re looking for, they don’t frequent casual places like this.’

They sit there for a few more minutes but it’s clear that Joohyun has by now become jittery.

‘Seungwan, I’m tired. Come, have a drink with me,’ the older woman says instead.

‘Huh? You want another drink? Well, alright, what do you want? I’ll buy-‘

‘No, not here. Let’s leave and have a drink elsewhere. I have a place in mind.’

Joohyun’s behaviour perplexes Seungwan but she nods in agreement. It’s after one am so technically, the night is still young. Also, Seungwan doesn’t have work the next day, so there’s that.  

They take a taxi from the main road and Joohyun recites an address in the Dongbaek area.  Seungwan is not well oriented in the establishments found there, but one look at the driver’s GPS tells her everything. The post code is where all the expensive places are.

They stop by one of the most expensive hotels in town, where all the celebrities stay if need may be. Seungwan feels severely underdressed for the occasion but Joohyun doesn’t hesitate as she walks up to the door immediately being opened to her by the concierge outside. Seungwan hastens her steps to follow along to the lift and soon they ascend all the way to the forty-seventh floor where they enter a roof-top bar with a terrace. Despite the late hour, there are quite a few people socialising.

And they all look like Joohyun, in their expensive dresses and elegant suits. Probably all bankers, CEOs and Busan’s socialites. Seungwan is suddenly acutely aware of the almost invisible stain on her denims.

‘No wonder you didn’t feel particularly at home in Kingdom,’ Seungwan mumbles. She’s not one to be easily impressed by things like that but the contrast between her and Joohyun’s worlds has never been more obvious.

The comment means to be light but the older woman doesn’t laugh. If anything, she looks… sad. Sad to be here, which makes no sense.

A waiter leads them to their table, somewhere in the corner of the room. Most of the clientele has chosen to enjoy the last few days of good weather upon them and relocated outside so it is relatively quiet.

‘What would you like to drink?’ Joohyun asks once they are left with their menus.   

‘Something cheap,’ Seungwan cannot help but deadpan, looking at the prices. She doesn’t feel particularly inclined to spend thirty-seven thousand and nine hundred won on a cocktail. ‘Do they have tap water?’

‘Don’t be silly,’ Joohyun replies, making Seungwan giggle. This is the most Joohyun-like thing that Joohyun has said all night. ‘It’s my treat. You’ve paid for all of our beer tonight.’

‘Yeah, well, but the prices were a little different, you know…’

‘It doesn’t matter. It’s the intention. Now, pick something. Anything you like. Are you hungry? I think I am,’ she rumbles.

Seungwan eventually goes for some kind of fruity drink mixed with vodka. Joohyun chooses Martini and a portion of spicy ddeokbboki from the restaurant a la carte. When Seungwan declines food, Joohyun still asks for a bigger plate to share.

They don’t say anything until their drinks arrive. However, when it becomes apparent that Joohyun will not talk, Seungwan sighs.

‘Joohyun, what are we really doing here?’ Only then does Seungwan notice with a start that there are tears glistening in Joohyun’s eyes as they remain glued to the glass in front of her. ‘Hey, hey now. Please, don’t cry. We don’t have to talk about this-‘

‘I’m so sorry, Seungwan.’ Joohyun doesn’t sob – she would never. She merely discreetly pats away the moisture gathering on her lower lashes before it alters her make-up or the impression of those surrounding her. ‘I’m sorry that I ruined your night. It was I who forced you to me tonight, then I kept you around only to reject everyone’s advances in the end. Now I even dragged you here when you’d probably much prefer to have stayed at home and spent time with your friends.’

‘It’s not like that,’ Seungwan tries to reassure her, rubbing her arm across the small table. ‘We’re friends too, aren’t we? I came out because I wanted to. I wanted to help you. That’s what you wanted, didn’t you? To get back in the game.’

‘I thought so, too,’ Joohyun whispers. A few moments pass before she finally says, ‘But now I don’t know anymore. I don’t think I… know what I want.’

Seungwan stifles a concerned sigh. Here we are, she thinks to herself. Finally arriving at the crux of the matter. But she doesn’t say anything to that. She doesn’t know if it’s her place to.

The dish finally arrives and surprisingly, Joohyun attacks it with the might of three. The more she chews on, the more tears start running down her face, to Seungwan’s alarm. She quickly asks the staff for water, changing seat to the one next to her friend. He puts her hand on the other’s, meaning to console.

‘Don’t eat so fast, hey. You’ll get indigestion,’ she scolds quietly. Joohyun shakes her head, seemingly at nothing in particular – or maybe at the chaos currently raging in her heart.

‘This is my favourite restaurant, you know.’ The older woman eventually says, having calmed down. She looks down at the half eaten dish. ‘The taste of the ddeokbokki they make here reminds me of my hometown. Junmyeon knew that; he’d bring me here for dinner almost every Friday.’

 ‘So you do miss him, after all,’ the younger woman replies, a sigh escaping her lips again. Joohyun shakes her head, but doesn’t elaborate any further.

Ah. Suddenly it all downs on Seungwan. She remembers her conversation with Sehun, too.

‘You don’t miss him, but you do miss doing things with him. You miss a person who knows you like the back of their hand. A person who’d care for you, who’d share your interests.’ Seungwan recounts slowly, seeing Joohyun’s expression fall even further. ‘Somebody to go home to, somebody to laugh with. You miss companionship.’

Still looking at the plate in front of her, Joohyun nods unsurely.

‘I hope I’m not overstepping but let me just tell you this. You and your husband have spent over a decade, getting to know each other and learning to co-exist. I’m sorry if this is not the answer to your worries but… it is not possible to build fast relationships. Not the kind of relationship that you desire to have. You’ve left him but you expect somebody just like him to jump right in his place, picking up for there.’

‘It’s not like that…’ Joohyun denies, but it’s a weak defence.

‘I think it is. I think you’re used to your routine. You’re used to coming here every Friday, you’re used to going to art galleries for dates and abroad for holiday.’

‘Leaving Junmyeon was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life,’ Joohyun balls her delicate palm lying on the table in a fist. She looks more helpless than angry, though. ‘But I did it because I was absolutely convinced that it was the right thing to do. If I had even an ounce of doubt, I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have dragged us both through this ugly mud. I wouldn’t have hurt him like that.’

‘I don’t doubt that,’ Seungwan says gently. ‘I just think that this has all happened very fast. And I think that you have not had enough time to mourn this separation and what it actually means for you. Losing your husband is probably the least important part if I dare say. You just still don’t understand it.’

‘Understand what?’ Joohyun finally looks at her, confused.

‘That you need time. That you need to learn how to be by yourself, how to appreciate yourself in order to open yourself to others. Those others might not be who or what you expected them to be but they’re there, and you’re potentially missing out on a lot if you don’t even give them a chance. People can still love you and be there for you even if you’re not there yet mentally yourself, of course. But I also know that without striking that inner balance, all that love will just go to waste because you won’t even be able to welcome it in your life.’

The two women sit there for a moment, contemplating the words that have just been exchanged between them. But at least Joohyun doesn’t seem offended, so Seungwan is glad.

‘I have an idea.’ The older pushes away the dish, reaching for the menu again. ‘There’s something that I’ve always wanted to do.’

‘What is that?’ Seungwan plays along despite the abrupt change of subject. She figures that this is it. The rest is up for Joohyun to process and act accordingly. Seungwan has already intervened enough.

‘I’ve always wanted to order friend chicken and eat it on the Haeundae beach.’

‘You’ve never eaten chicken on the beach? Are you sure you’re Korean?’ Seungwan mocks good-naturedly and Joohyun lets out a weak chuckle.

‘Friend chicken is not good for your body. But never mind, let’s make a memory together. Let’s go to the beach. Which sauce do you like?’

Seungwan is at a loss, eventually merely pointing to yangnyeom and mustard honey. It’s easier to elevate the atmosphere between them this way, at least temporarily. Joohyun places an order for a take away.

Twenty minutes later they are out of the fancy restaurant and walking towards the sea. It’s only three streets on foot and the windy stroll will help them clear their minds a little. They don’t say much but it seems that this time they both have truly reached their breaking point. Seungwan worries that she might have inadvertently opened compartments of Joohyun’s life that the other is not prepared to face but her eagerness towards a new relationship and subsequent shooting down of anyone who’d stand within five feet of her make Seungwan think that Joohyun is simply not yet actually wanting to engage in one. The fear of novelty and potential emotional hurt is something that she will have to conquer by herself, it seems.

Seungwan, on the other hand, has also reached a decision. Not an easy one but one that is perhaps worth working on, giving it a try. One that she hopes she will not be forced to regret but she needs to proceed cautiously.

When both women reach the benches facing the beach, she takes her mobile out of her pocket. She types a message.

I’ll pick you up from school on Monday. I hope you like cheese ramyeon… friend. 

 

 

A/N: Oh, look, who's crawled back. I mean myself.

Please comment and upvote if you liked *_*

*Title: The Common Linets - Calm after the storm

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Thank you!
Changdeol
Thank you so much for the feature, I am very grateful to all the long-term and new readers. I'm glad you've liked this story so far and that you gave it so much credit though it doesn't yet have that many chapters. I hope I can live up to the expectations. Thank you again and have a good day!

Comments

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ShinHye24 1340 streak #1
Chapter 14: the way se could already see Irene was falling for her!! I'll wait with respect whole rereading from time to time :)
mklarisse_ #2
Chapter 14: oh i did not expect this :0 such a good story.. i really thought the last chap would show another development between wr but its oki ofc i really enjoyed this fic thank you authornim
paradoxicalninja
#3
Chapter 14: I will probably wait forever for the continuation.
mklarisse_ #4
Chapter 3: WHATTTT AJDJDJD im so amazed how the end of every chap gets me this shook
mklarisse_ #5
Chapter 2: what 😭😭😭 my poor seungwan being rejected this fast and twicE
paradoxicalninja
#6
Chapter 3: i forgot how unhinged joohyun was here lmao
paradoxicalninja
#7
Chapter 1: Rereading even if I have work tomorrow. Always such a pleasure to reread your works.

And! You manifested Wan DJ 🥺
gntmsk
#8
Chapter 14: sobs i hope you're doing well author-nim. this story is doing wonders and i really hope that one day, when you're ready, you'll be able to continue this story. fighting!
Chambi
#9
Chapter 14: I hope you're doing good author
WluvsBaetokki #10
Chapter 14: I'm still hoping that author-nim will continue this story