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Early Wednesday afternoon is when Kang Seulgi finally decides to take the taxi to the hospital. She doesn’t go immediately but rather rests a little bit, still thinking of a way to get out of the situation. Eventually, she gives up. There’s a doctor she usually sees for check-ups and such but this time she goes straight to the emergency ward and explains her situation. She’s registered and asked to wait for a few moments in the waiting room.

Fainting, headaches, dizziness. Vomiting, she recounts in her head. What else? Fatigue. She collapsed one- No, two times. How many days has it been since it started? Nearly two weeks.

God, please don’t let me be pregnant, she silently begs though she’s not particularly religious. She takes out her phone, trying to think of when she had her last period. It shoudn’t be… It can’t be. That’s the last thing she needs right now. She’s not opposed to having family – heck, Jongdae might actually be the only boyfriend she’s ever had fit for the job – but it’s too early. Things have barely started to fall into place. She likes her job, her flat, her roommate. Even though she and Jongdae have been in a relationship for some time, she never really had any thoughts of moving in together. Everything is good enough as it is for now.

Seulgi is finally shown to the doctor’s office.  

Apparently with her period having passed only two weeks prior, it’s unlikely but they want to do more tests. She concedes easily – she just wants to get it over with and if she’s lucky, maybe she can even write it off as her biannual check-up required at work. It’s coming up, isn’t it? Seulgi has never been particularly invested in keeping track of such dates which usually backfired in the shape of an unexpected toothache or other similar troubles. 

It’s probably nothing, she decides as she is directed for an X-ray and a blood check. She’s always been fit and healthy.

Kim Jongdae frowns when another one of his calls is rejected. In situations like this, he badly wants to reach for a cigarette though his days as an active smoker are long behind him. It must truly be as they say – one can never really quit even if they stopped smoking. The nervous habit and itchiness always returns when in stress.

He doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong – he assumes it must be his fault somehow because Seulgi is not an unreasonable person throwing fits for no reason. Everything was fine up until Wednesday night. Is she upset with his insistence on a medical intervention? Unlikely. By the time he even learnt about her collapsing at work and confronted her over the phone, she’d already been to the hospital and was planning to collect the results after the weekend. She came over to his flat that night, they cooked dinner and had an overall pleasant time. Then he drove her back and wished good night.

Next thing he knew, she wasn’t answering his phone calls on Thursday and even then took a day off the following morning. Now it’s Friday and Jongdae is stuck at work on a double shift, unable to neither contact his girlfriend nor extract any useful information from Seungwan.

‘Seungwan,’ he starts without preamble the moment he reaches her shared office space. Seungwan looks up and sighs.

‘I really don’t know anything, Jongdae. I didn’t even see her this morning but she seemed fine last night, if maybe a little tired. All of which I have already told you.’

‘I’m just worried.’ He sits down in front of her and she pushes away the laptop, giving him her full attention despite the documentation she has to deal with. ‘She wasn’t here when I arrived at work yesterday though she never leaves before two o’clock. She gave me some bull excuse about not feeling well and didn’t want me to come over which fine, I’m completely aware that we all have those days when we just want to be alone and I completely respect that-‘

‘Jongdae,’ Seungwan interrupts. ‘Jongdae,’ she then repeats. ‘You need to take a deep breath first.’

‘Something is not right, Seungwan. I can just tell. She’d never brush me off like that. Not when she’s angry, or sad or ill. Never. She told me on our first date that communication and transparency are the most important to her. You know she’s not a person to just avoid you, she’d just tell you upfront she needs space.’

‘Have you tried to contact her today?’ At his pointed look, the woman clears . ‘Right. So she’s rejecting your calls?’

‘She didn’t turn off her phone – she’s just not picking up. What if she’s fainted again and is lying there unconscious? Why did it just occur to me now, Jesus-‘

‘Wait,’ Seungwan tries to calm him down when she sees that he’s ready to leap out of his seat, though the words admittedly unsettle her too. The Wednesday incident was not a joke to her, no matter how much Seulgi tried to downplay it and pacify the both of them. ‘Let me call her first before you take off.’

Seulgi is number three on Seungwan’s speed dial, just after her parents’ cells and before Sehun’s, though only for practical reasons.

There is a tense moment in between the rings but the receiver eventually clicks.

‘Seungwan?’ Seulgi’s voice is a little hoarse as she starts the conversation.

‘Hey. You alright?’ Seungwan asks. She observes Jongdae from the corner of her eye and it’s clear that his face falls a little at the realisation that it’s only his phone calls that have gone ignored.

‘Jongdae asked you to call me, didn’t he?’ Seulgi says and Seungwan eyes the man again before replying non-committedly,

‘Uhm, yeah.’

‘I was sleeping, I didn’t hear his calls.’ Seungwan frowns at the statement because it’s already after two pm but she keeps her expression straight. Jongdae is already out of his mind even without her help.

‘Alright, so..?’

‘I’m a little under the weather, that’s all. Tell him that I’ll call him later.’

‘Yeah… I don’t think that’ll do.’ Seungwan shakes her head once when Jongdae outstretches his hand to take over the phone. She doesn’t want to say that Seulgi’s boyfriend is ready to storm into their flat if she doesn’t appease him within the next minute because the man is right in front of her but it seems that Seulgi understands the in-between-the-lines.

‘Tell him not to come here. I’ll call him when I’m ready.’

‘You don’t sound too good,’ Seungwan admits. ‘Do you need me to take you to the hospital? I still have time before I need to go on air.’

‘There’s no need. Just let me rest.’

‘Are you really just indisposed?’ Seungwan looks at Jongdae mouthing a question. ‘Jongdae wants to know if it’s his fault.’ She thinks that she hears a strange sound from the other side but Seulgi eventually only sighs deeply.

‘No... It’s not his fault at all. Tell him… tell him I love him, very much. I just can’t see him right now. I’ll call him when I’m ready. You too, Seungwan. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.’

Seungwan looks back at the phone, the call ended too abruptly not to leave her perplexed and a little anxious as well.

‘She told me that she needs some time for herself and that she loves you very much. To wait for her.’

Jongdae’s face falls even more at the words.

‘She really said that?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘She’s never said this to me before.’ His voice is unusually quiet as he looks down at his lap, pensive. Seungwan frowns. That should probably be odd, considering that her friends have been together for some time already.

Jongdae suddenly stands up, his face tense.

‘This isn’t over. I’m going over there after work.’ He storms out and Seungwan sighs deeply. She can only trust that Seulgi is fine and that they can solve whatever problem they have at the moment.

In the meantime, she should probably keep out of their shared space. However, she thinks that she might have an idea as to where to go in the evening. Although she knows she shouldn’t harbour any unnecessary feelings, her sudden plan still makes her feel better and temporarily takes her mind off things.

She turns back to her scripts. It’s time to get to work before Minseok comes to nag her again.

Evenings spent by oneself can be very long indeed, is what Joohyun has learnt over the course of the last few months.

She left work a little later today because of the last preparations that had to be done before tomorrow’s opening of their exhibition but it was still barely six pm when she reached one of the dumpling restaurants that she particularly liked. She simply didn’t want to go back home just yet, she had to admit to herself that much. Nothing really awaited her there, save for the empty walls and a TV.  She thought it’d be better to eat out, even if just to be around people longer but when she reached the place, she hesitated. Through the glass, she saw families and couples, and even co-workers sitting together, sharing meals merrily.

She couldn’t bear to be alone among the crowd so she turned back. She picked up a random takeaway from a restaurant she had never tried before and leisurely walked along Nakdong River until she reached her flat. The evening was pleasantly warm, contrary to how she was feeling.

The food is tasteless – noodles too hard and the broth too oily. New experiences, she thinks but can’t keep the bitterness out of it. One learns by trying out things until they find the right ones.

As she puts Netflix on, mostly just to silence the buzz in her own head, she realises that all she’d really like right now is to talk to Son Seungwan. They haven’t really seen each other or conversed that much since last weekend, both busy with other responsibilities. Despite the friendliness between them, Joohyun doesn’t know if oversharing and clinginess wouldn’t be considered being too close and unwelcomed. But the bond has become comfortable, to Joohyun at least; their previous heart to heart left her vulnerable but it also comforted her. Seungwan knows and understands – there is no need to pretend in front of her anymore.

All that’s left to do is to come to terms with all of this herself but Joohyun doesn’t know if she’s ready for that yet. She sighs.

This is ridiculous, she decides and picks up her phone to call Sehun instead. Seungwan is a good friend but they’ve barely known each other for a few weeks.

She waits a couple of rings before the cell is finally picked up but it’s not Sehun’s voice that she hears.

‘Hello?’ The accented voice leaves Joohyun stupefied for a second before she clears .

‘Is this Sehun’s phone?’ She asks unsurely despite having dialled the number thousands of times before.

‘He went to the bathroom for a moment. Are you the sister? He can probably call back in a few-‘

‘Hey, what are you doing, picking up my phone?’ There’s Sehun’s angry voice somewhere in the background and for a moment all Joohyun hears is the noise of the device dropping and then fast steps.

‘I thought it was import-‘

‘Don’t ever do that again,’ Sehun angrily whispers but contemporary technology is too advanced not to pick up on the nuances of the lowered sound. ‘Noona?’ Sehun finally addresses Joohyun after another moment of moving around and door closing.

‘Who was that?’

‘A friend from work,’ Sehun responds evasively. ‘We’re drinking at my place.’

‘That wasn’t your roommate, was it?’ Joohyun has met the man only a few times but she doesn’t remember him being a foreigner.

‘Oh… no, no. Chanyeol hyung is, uh, not here. Anyway, what’s going on?’

‘Well, not much. I just felt like calling you.’ The woman shrugs though Sehun can’t see her. ‘You’re coming to the opening tomorrow, aren’t you?’

‘Yes, of course. I’ve made sure to keep my schedule clear, you know I wouldn’t let you down.’

‘Are you by any chance coming with Seungwan?’ Joohyun can’t help but ask.

‘No, not that I know of. Why? Did you invite her?’

‘I gave her an invitation with a plus one. I thought maybe she’s made plans with you. Never mind, she’ll probably bring her flatmate.’ Joohyun already regrets mentioning the other woman, seeing how Sehun falls silent for a moment and that only spurs Joohyun into a spiral of unprompted excuses.

‘If you want her to come alone, you can just tell her,’ Sehun eventually says but he’s not teasing unlike Joohyun feared that he would. He’s seriousness somehow makes the whole exchange even more awkward.

‘It’s really none of my business,’ Joohyun retorts. ‘It’s not like we’re such great friends.’

‘Could have fooled me,’ Sehun finally chuckles. ‘She talks about you quite a lot, you know.’

Joohyun stills.

‘She does? Like what?’

‘I thought it was none of your business,’ Sehun responds, a mock innocent note in his voice and Joohyun huffs.

‘You brat.’ That causes him to actually laugh. ‘Fine, don’t tell me. It doesn’t matter.’

‘I’m just joking with you, sis. She likes you, I think. Told me you’ve hung out together a couple of times and she seems no longer inclined to murder you for your superiority complex and eagerness to use her as your dating crutch. Sounds like a progress to me.’

Joohyun actually has the decency to blush at the words. Not like it isn’t all truth, sadly. Joohyun can only hope that she can do better from now on.

‘She’s a good friend,’ Joohyun concedes. Surprisingly.

‘Anyway, you’re probably overthinking this. Just call her if you want to, you don’t have to use me as a proxy. She’s left work already, it’s close to eight. She’s such a homebody that she’ll probably welcome company.’

They disconnect soon after and Joohyun stares at her phone for a bit, Son Seungwan’s number pulled up and one press of a button away from dialling. Joohyun had not been this hesitant to contact the other woman before but things somewhat shifted between them last Friday. It’s difficult for a person like Joohyun to reach out when she knows that Seungwan has already seen right through her.

Just as she is deliberating the matter, almost resolved not to call and focus back on her tea and TV show, the phone suddenly rings and Joohyun drops it, startled.

It’s Seungwan.

‘Hey, hey. Look out of your bedroom window,’ the cheerful voice asks. Joohyun automatically stands up, heading towards her room and looking down even though the view is a little obstructed by the fact that she’s on the sixth floor.

‘I don’t see anything,’ Joohyun eventually admits, a little amused.

‘Can’t you see me? I’m here, waving.’ Seungwan gets impatient which has Joohyun’s lips stretch in a wider smile though she’d never admit it out loud.

‘I think you might be on another side of the building. Or maybe in another neighbourhood altogether.’

‘No way! I got your address from Sehun earlier. Is your window overlooking the entrance to your building?’

‘Not even close.’ Joohyun chuckles briefly. ‘What are you doing here anyway? Do you want to come up?’

‘Nah, the evening is so nice, wanna come out instead? They have a patio here to sit on. I’ve brought ddeokbokki and beer. Want some?’

At the words, Joohyun feels somewhat warmer inside. Touched even, that Seungwan took the time out of her schedule to stop by though she couldn’t have known whether Joohyun is home.

‘Sure. I’ll just change out of my pyjamas…’

‘Come out as you are. The best part of summer evenings is sitting in your home clothes on the street, drinking cold Hite.’

When Joohyun emerges from the building, Seungwan early bursts out laughing.

‘You actually came in your pyjamas. Kudos.’ Self-conscious at the other’s wide smile, Joohyun pulls at her loose cotton trousers. ‘No, I mean! You look great regardless. You look better than I do in my work clothes. Figures.’ Seungwan laughs again.

Joohyun smiles, a little more relaxed.

‘You know I’m doing this thing when I’m trying out new things. I guess I’ll just count this as another one.’

‘And how is that going for you?’ Seungwan leads them both to the free standing patio. There are two other similar platforms to sit on a few feet away, both occupied by the elderly playing mah-jong. Seungwan and Joohyun sit down. Seungwan immediately passes the other an open can of beer.

‘I’m sitting outside in my pyjamas drinking alcohol, aren’t I?’ Seungwan laughs again and Joohyun smiles at the sound.

‘For real, though. You know how there’s a hospital very close to my neighbourhood, right? We have the patients walking around our area only in their sleeping wear all day long. So one time, Seulgi, Jongdae and I just decided to do that ourselves. It was a night that changed my life forever.’ Seungwan is really radiating energy today and it’s contagious. Joohyun almost wants to ask about the motives but she doesn’t want to ruin the atmosphere. 

‘You mean, it felt that liberating?’

‘Well, that too and I also drank till I actually threw up in the bushes. Taught me something about my limits.’

Seungwan unpacks a bag of ddeokbokki wrapped in paper and hands Joohyun a pair of reusable chopsticks.

‘There’s this pojang macha outside my work building, I love their snacks. I’ve thought about it and though there is not much that I can help you with, I will introduce you to all the good ddeokbokki shops that I know around here. I’m determined to find one that’ll be at least as good as the upscale restaurant you took me to last week. Dig in and tell me what you think.’ Seungwan doesn’t wait for her companion – she picks up some and starts chewing it loudly, pleasure clearly written on her face.

You’re already helping more than you know, is what Joohyun wants to say as she looks at Seungwan a little longer before averting her eyes and focusing on the dish.

‘How is it?’

‘It’s alright,’ Joohyun decides after a moment, nodding. Seungwan purses her lips in mock disappointment.

‘That bad?’ Joohyun chuckles, abashed.

‘I did not say that.’

‘What is it then? Tell me so I know what to look for?’

‘It’s not spicy enough for me,’ Joohyun eventually says. ‘The source is too dense and the rice cake needs to be a little harder.’ She turns away, strangely embarrassed when she notices Seungwan’s surprised expression.

‘Wow, okay. Very specific. Not that I expected anything else from such a decisive woman. I’ll look out for that next time.’ Noticing Seungwan’s joking mood, Joohyun relaxes again.

‘Are you coming to the opening tomorrow night?’ Joohyun asks as she chews, so uncharacteristic for her.

‘I’ve bought a new dress for the occasion,’ Seungwan announces proudly.

‘Oh, you didn’t have to go that far-‘

‘It’s fine. I don’t really keep any formal attire, I usually have no use for it but now I’ll have an excuse to wear something nice for once. So don’t worry about it.’

‘Is Seulgi coming with you?’ Seungwan’s face falls just a little bit at the mention of her friend.

‘I don’t think so, I don’t think she’s in the mood right now. It seems to me that she and Jongdae had some kind of fallout and she doesn’t want to talk to him. Maybe they’ll have room to reconcile, if not tonight then tomorrow night once I’m out of their hair. I honestly don’t want to be there for when they scream at each other but even less for when they eventually get back together.’ Seungwan shudders and Joohyun chuckles.

‘You can just come by yourself, it’s perfectly fine. I’ll have to walk around for a bit and welcome everyone but I’ll try to keep you company as much as I can. Sehun will be there, too.’

‘Don’t worry about me. I’m sure it’ll be fine,’ Seungwan replies, seemingly utterly convinced and they clink their cans in a toast just because. ‘What about you?’

‘Hmm?’

‘In general.’ Joohyun sighs.

‘Lonely,’ she admits. ‘Maybe a little scared of sitting in front of my television alone for the rest of my life.’ Seungwan makes a sympathetic face.

‘I don’t know about the romantic stuff but I can introduce you to some of my friends. I don’t have that many but we sometimes go out, do karaoke or whatever.’

‘From work?’ Joohyun prompts and Seungwan nods.

‘From university as well.’ The younger sends her companion a long look before asking. ‘What about your friends? You’ve graduated from PNU like Sehun, haven’t you?’ Joohyun nods, then shrugs.

‘Some moved out, went to work in Seoul. Others stayed but got married and things got complicated, we grew apart. It’s nobody’s fault – in between work and home, I also didn’t have that much time for them. Now it seems to me that I know a lot of people but actually, there is nobody I can really turn to,’ she muses. Seungwan senses that Joohyun doesn’t say this to fish for sympathy so she doesn’t comment.

‘Well, in my circle we stayed tight. I never really had a family so they are all my family now.’

‘You’re lucky,’ Joohyun says and Seungwan nods.

‘I know.’ She sighs after a while. ‘Are you going to be fine tomorrow? Kim Junmyeon is going to be there, isn’t he?’

‘Of course.’ Joohyun’s voice is stable, detached almost. ‘But I don’t worry about him, he won’t say or do anything inappropriate. I’m worried about myself. I don’t know how many more comments I can take, how many more pitiful looks at the news of our divorce. I went home a few days ago and even my own parents cannot bear to look at me. It doesn’t help that Junmyeon keeps visiting them. Whether he likes it or not, he puts ideas in their heads. I’m tired, Seungwan. I’m really tired.’

Seungwan puts her palm over Joohyun’s.

‘Do they know..?’

‘Of course not. Our separation nearly killed my mother. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to bring myself to tell them about its reason.’

They sit there until late, talking about everything and nothing and Joohyun feels that although being with Seungwan evokes foreign feelings, they are not by any means uncomfortable or unwelcomed ones. If anything, she feels thankful and encouraged to face another day which she knows won’t be easy. Not with Junmyeon being there and not with many of the invited guests who still don’t know of their divorce.

She takes another big sip of her beer and sighs inwardly. She needs to be prepared for all the questions and she needs to harden because she has a feeling that they don’t stop anytime soon.

A/N: Please comment and upvote if you liked. Please excuse my long absences. From now on I'm going to try to stick to my biweekly schedule of updating, I was trying to get myself together these past few weeks. I hope the new year is treating you all well! Thank you for reading!

*Title: Barbra Streisand - After the rain