Chapter 30

Untouchable Face

 She wipes her finger across the photograph, removing the fallen tear which had landed neatly on the other woman's face. At the knock on her dorm room door, she rubs her cheeks furiously in a desperate attempt to remove the evidence that she has been crying. In spite of everything, she doesn't want people to know that this break up has affected her.

She doesn't need people knowing that.

She wants to stay strong and if that means putting up a façade in front of everybody, that's what she'll do.

Hayoung had tried to comfort her, at least to the best of her abilities, but she didn't want to be comforted. She told Hayoung she didn't want to see anybody and her roommate wouldn't have knocked. Sighing heavily, she walks towards the door, pausing momentarily to take a deep breath. Collecting herself, she opens the door, falling open in shock when she sees the person standing before her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I know it's been a while but I'm pretty sure you used to greet me nicer than that. Has hello gone out of fashion?"

"Sorry," Bomi says quickly. "I didn't mean for it to sound harsh, it's just…you're the last person I expected to see." She inhales sharply. "Hello."

"Hello."

She drums the fingers against the door frame. "You'll have to forgive me for being surprised but as I recall, the last thing you said to me was you never wanted to see me again."

"Well, you know what they say. It's a woman prerogative to change her mind," Eunji replies with a shrug of her shoulders. "Are you going to invite me in?"

Bomi bobs her head and opens the door even wider, allowing Eunji access to her dorm room. Even though she feels utterly heartbroken over Sohee, the mere sight of Eunji is enough to make her feel better. She'd forgotten how good it felt to see her best friend.

To speak to her again.

Her and Eunji went from speaking and seeing each other every day to Eunji rejecting every single incoming call from her and refusing to speak to her.

To go from having everything to nothing is a pretty steep fall.

As she closes the door she watches Eunji walk around her room, stopping every now and again to take in her environment. She takes one of the photo frames from her desk and traces it with her finger. "My sixth birthday."

"It's always been one of my favourite pictures."

"I'm covered in cake and you're on the floor."

Bomi chuckles. "That's why it's one of my favourites; we didn't know we were being photographed. It's not a staged photo; it's just us being us."

She places the photo frame back down. "Hayoung called me."

"She had no right to do that."

"Why? It's not like you were going to call me."

"I thought you didn't want to speak to me Eunji."

Eunji tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What did Hayoung tell you?"

"That you and Sohee had broken up. She didn't go into details and she didn't give me a reason. She just said that you were upset and needed a friend."

"I don't know why you came here," Bomi tells her. "I need a friend, not someone who couldn't even tell me why she hates me."

Eunji takes a seat on the bed she presumes is Bomi's because it's closest to the picture frame. "I made a mistake, Bomi. I held a grudge against you because I was in love with Sohee. What I hated was how your relationship made me feel, not you. Never you." She rubs the back of her neck. "Maybe I should have told you before, I guess."

"Yeah, you should have. I deserved to know and do something about it. Anything. We could have sorted it out together."

Eunji tilts her head to the side. "I'm sorry Bomi, I became a bitter woman. Yeah, it stung and it hurt but I can't wallow in it anymore. I won't let myself. You're heartbroken, and for the first time I may add. I want to be there for you. You're still my best friend, no matter how much I want to hate you, at the end of the day; I can't, because deep down I still remember the little girl who pleaded with me to give her a go on the swing when we were four."

"That was the first time we met," Bomi reminisces with a smile. "You never did let me have a go."

"I did eventually," Eunji corrects. "Fair enough, it was only after you started crying. Who knew that would have been the beginning of our friendship."

"I remember telling my mom that you were being mean to me."

Eunji laughs loudly. "Well, I may have been mean to you but you got over that."

"I hardly think not giving me a go on a swing compares to our situation right now."

"No, you're right but I do have a point. Some things in life you can immediately move past and forget about them and others, well they take time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I want to leave this in the past. I want to start again Bomi."

"Start again?"

Eunji bobs her head. "I'm here because I'm going to be the friend you need and I'm going to listen as you tell me what happened between you and Sohee."

"Why would you do that though?" Bomi asks with genuine curiosity. "I'm pleased you want to start again but surely you don't want to hear about Sohee. I don't expect you to listen to me talk about her, even less now that I know how you felt all this time Eunji. We don't need to do that."

"Yes we do," Eunji says. "Because Bomi, one day, I'm probably going to need you to play this role for me. I'm going to break up with somebody and I'm going to need to talk to my friend. I'm going to need to talk to you." Eunji smiles slightly. "So, what happened?"


 

The first wedding she ever went to was her neighbours. Taeyang and Hyorin moved next door to her in Cheongju when she was thirteen. They'd been together for a few years and that house was their first one together. A year later, she attended their wedding. It had rained and Hyorin left Taeyang at the altar. She's always wondered why Hyorin left somebody she had said was her soul mate but she always swore that she would never do that.

She saw the look of hurt and anguish pass over Taeyang's face when he realised Hyorin wasn't coming and she never wanted to be the reason for somebody to experience that pain.

Two years ago she watched as Hayoung's eldest brother married his high-school sweetheart. Once again, it rained but this time, nobody ended up being jilted. They kissed, they danced and they laughed, enjoying the most important day of their life.

A year later, they filed for divorce.

Namjoo decided that rain on a wedding day was bad luck. Something would either happen at the wedding or during the marriage and the couple wouldn't live happy ever after. That's why when she opened her drapes this morning to see sunshine, she was grateful. She didn't want any bad luck on her wedding day.

It turns out that even though it didn't rain, something still went wrong at their wedding.

She can honestly say, hand on heart, that when she dreamt about her wedding, she never imagined the day ending like this. When she woke up this morning, she had pictured the day going differently. It would have been the perfect day. Hayoung would look beautiful and so would she. They'd be complimented by everybody and like Hayoung's brother and his fiancée; they would kiss, dance and laugh, except their marriage would be eternal.

That's what weddings are supposed to involve, they're supposed to be full of romance and excitement, yet this one was filled with arguments and tears. Weddings are supposed to make everybody feel happy, not just the couple getting married but also all the guests. Their faces should have been filled with smiles but they weren't.

Not by the end of the day anyway.

The seats in the marquee are vacant and there are remnants of mascara on her wedding dress, leaving a perfect stain on her once perfect dress. The black smudges, no matter how slight, leave an unforgettable memory of the day but for all the wrong reasons.

She didn't need a memory to remember this day. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and that, she would always remember. Even without photographs or memorabilia, she would never forget.

Now when she remembers her day, she won't remember seeing Hayoung walk down the aisle. She won't remember hearing the registrar pronounce them wife and wife. She'll remember everything else.

The shouting, the tears, the sound of a hand connecting with a cheek, the noise of which somehow managed to reverberate around the marquee.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Hayoung sits down, dangling her legs over the edge of the stage where only hours ago, the band had played 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Frank Sinatra, as they danced their first dance. It had been Namjoo's choice of song; Hayoung wanted 'For Once in My Life' by Stevie Wonder but they had compromised. Since Hayoung had chosen the venue, the wedding cake and the honeymoon, decisions Namjoo didn't mind, Namjoo chose the first dance. Stevie Wonder was their second dance and in a way, that was more special to Hayoung than their first dance.

Everybody says that the first dance for a newly-married couple is an important part of the wedding and everybody pays attention to you. You have the dance floor to yourself. The second dance, guests start dancing as well and the attention is momentarily diverted from you. The first dance was important to Hayoung but the second gave her a feeling of their future. When they dance, it's just them, nobody else cares.

She likes that.

"I know this isn't the wedding you always dreamed of."

"You can say that again," Namjoo replies, glancing at Hayoung's dress which is also stained with mascara. "We didn't have any doves to release once we were married."

Hayoung smiles at her wife. Namjoo is the only person she knows who could see past what a disaster their wedding day had turned out to be.

"I couldn't find any babe," she says with a chuckle before growing serious. "I'm going to kill them for ruining today for you. I know they had this secret little love triangle going on and the whistle was always going to be blown on it sooner or later but couldn't they have waited one more day? This was our day, not theirs."

"They didn't ruin today." Namjoo threads her fingers through Hayoung's. "We're married, that's the only thing I wanted from today. Okay, things obviously didn't turn out the way I expected them to." She fingers the wedding ring on her wife's finger before touching her own. "As long as I have this ring on my finger and you have yours, nothing else matters."

"They still ruined part of the day."

"Eunji was heartbroken so we can't really blame her. You or I would have probably reacted the same and Bomi and Chorong, well, they're in love; we have to forgive them for that. You should know better than anybody how difficult it is to control your feelings when you're in love," Namjoo tells her. "In case you've forgotten, I vividly remember my twenty birthday party. It was my first birthday as your girlfriend and you lost your temper because you thought somebody was flirting with me."

Hayoung bobs her head slowly, the memory returning to her causing her to grimace. "Yeah I know. I ruined your party that night," she says. "And your cake."

"No you didn't," Namjoo says quietly. "Okay, you ruined the cake but you didn't ruin the party. You just showed me how much you cared. Just like Bomi showed Chorong how much she cared today."

"I still think Chorong should have waited to confess or Eunji should have waited to react."

"Maybe," Namjoo agrees. "Then again, there's no use in complaining about it now. What's done is done." She rests her head on her wife's shoulder. "Do you think they'll be okay?"

"Who? Eunji and Chorong, Eunji and Bomi or Chorong and Bomi?"

"Everybody."

"I don't know babe," Hayoung answers honestly, releasing a quiet sigh. "I hope they will be."


Three hours earlier:

After months of arguing, her father finally admitted to cheating on her mother. A drunken one-night stand with a woman he picked up in a bar, he didn't even remember her name. That's not how she chooses to think of her father now though because in the moment she heard him confess, he wasn't the person she always thought he was.

He wasn't the person who used to read her a bedtime story or purposely check the closet and under her bed for any monsters who may be lurking.

When he confessed, she had been listening from her bedroom, her door left only a little bit ajar so if they walked past, they wouldn't notice it was open. Her parents thought she was staying at Bomi's for the night and that had been her plan, except she hadn't left yet.

The second she heard raised voices, she texted Bomi and told her she would be a little later than planned.

Her parents were too busy arguing to even notice she was still in her bedroom.

She listened as her mother cried and repeatedly asked her father why. That was the question she just kept asking. Her father's explanation or, perhaps excuse would be a better word, never faltered. He'd had too much to drink and it was a mistake, one he regretted immensely. Regardless of how many times he told her he was drunk, she kept asking him why. His answer never seemed to be enough for her.

Eunji had never been able to understand that. She'd never understood why her mom felt the need to ask her father over and over again why he had cheated after he had given her an explanation.

Now that she's in the same situation her mother faced, she understands.

Her mother wasn't asking him why he had cheated. She wasn't seeking justification for his actions; she didn't care if he had been drunk. That wasn't the motivation of her question. She wanted to know why her. What had she done wrong to warrant being cheated on?

That Eunji understands.

She thought she'd been a perfect girlfriend to Chorong yet clearly, she has done something wrong. You don't cheat on your partner for no reason.

"Eunji?"

Being told you've been cheated on hurts, she doesn't know why that has surprised her so much. She always imagined it would hurt, she always imagined your heart would break as soon as you've been told. Now she's actually experiencing what it is like to be cheated on and her imagination didn't live up to expectations.

Her heart didn't break immediately; instead, it is breaking little by little each time she looks at Chorong.

If you spend months finally gaining the courage to put your heart on the line, it's not going to willingly give up.

As she looks at Chorong, she doesn't see the adorable brunette who has a passion for Pilates and is incapable of giving a simple answer to a question, instead choosing to elongate every single sentence.

She sees a cheater.

She doesn't see the kind, sweet, innocent girl she fell in love with, the girl who slipped on the ice in Yeouido Park and unwittingly stole her heart.

She sees somebody she doesn't even recognise.

Looking at Chorong, she imagines somebody else running their hands over her body, tickling her sides and kissing her in the weak spot beneath her ear.

She wonders if this person, whomever Chorong cheated on her with knew about that weak spot. If they knew that tickling her sides incites a delightful and uncontrollable squeal of laughter from the woman.

The first time Eunji heard that laugh, she knew she needed to hear it again so whilst Chorong playfully pleaded with her to stop tickling her, Eunji continued her ministrations because that laugh became her new addiction.

She never knew why she wanted to hear it so much but now she does.

She needed to hear it because it was such a good feeling to know that Chorong laughed as a result of her, that she had the ability to make Chorong laugh.

She can't remember the last time she heard Chorong laugh.

She wonders if this stranger knew Chorong feels self-conscious about her body even before she starts undressing.

Maybe she just feels self-conscious around Eunji.

Maybe being with somebody else, a stranger, made her feel confident, y.

Maybe this person made Chorong feel things that Eunji never had.

It's amazing how quickly your perception of a person can change. One minute you think the world of them and the next, everything you thought you knew is cruelly snatched away from you.

They become a shadow of their former selves in your eyes.

"I know you're upset –"

"Upset?" Her voice cracks as she speaks and she hates how broken she sounds. She needs to try and stay strong otherwise she's not going to be able to make it through this conversation. "You know I'm upset, well that is mighty rich of you."

"Sorry, those were the wrong words."

Eunji finally stands up and moves away from Chorong, walking over to the bedroom window and staring out of it. A move which creates a sufficient amount of space between the two of them yet Eunji still feels tethered to her girlfriend.

All Chorong has to do is touch her and she would probably fall apart.

Hayoung's parent's guest bedroom looks over their back yard so she can see everybody laughing and dancing like they don't have a care in the world.

Blissfully unaware that her relationship with Chorong is crumbling while Hayoung and Namjoo's relationship is going from strength to strength.

"Do you ever think about marriage?"

"In general or –"

"Have you ever thought about us being married?" Eunji asks, talking again before Chorong can offer an answer. "I have. I actually saw a ring I thought you'd love. It wasn't too out there and the diamond wasn't over the top but I thought you'd appreciate it. I looked at it and hoped it would still be there when I finally worked up the courage to propose. I wouldn't want an outdoor wedding though."

"Eunji."

"Would you?" She asks quietly, again speaking before Chorong can answer. "I think I'd regress to a child for my honeymoon as well and go to Disney World or something. It's unconventional so I think it would be fun. Maybe that would be somewhere to go when you have children though. Maybe it will make the experience more enjoyable. What would you prefer?"

"I've always wanted to go to Rome," Chorong admits quietly.

"Rome would be nice."

"I've just told you something which has greatly impacted our relationship; do you really want to talk about honeymoons?"

"You don't know what I want Chorong. I just wanted you to know that we had a future. I'd thought about our future, I even imagined what it would be like to have kids with you. I just wanted you to know those things because clearly, you didn't think about a future with me."

"I did."

Eunji scoffs. "You may have thought about it but evidently you didn't care about it otherwise you wouldn't have cheated on me."

"Having a future with you and the reason why I cheated are not mutually exclusive," Chorong tells her from her position on the bed. She doesn't want to close the gap between them because she knows that right now, Eunji needs there to be some form of space. "I didn't cheat on you because I didn't want a future with you. Please don't think like that."

"Then why did you?"

"I can't answer that with a simple sentence."

"You never can answer a question with a simple sentence," Eunji states. Something which she had previously loved about Chorong has just this second become something she dislikes because she doesn't need a long-winded response.

She just needs a reason.

"Eunji, it's a long story."

"I'm not going anywhere until you've told me."

Chorong swallows hard. "Do you really think this is the right time to be having this conversation? I know I started it but Hayoung and Namjoo are going to notice our absence if we don't make a re-appearance shortly."

Eunji takes a step closer to Chorong and Chorong can see anger ignite in her eyes. "If you think I'm going back downstairs to act like normal with you, you can think again. You told me you cheated on me Chorong and now, I want answers."

The only thing Chorong can think is that Eunji might regret saying that. They do say be careful what you wish for.

After all, once she's told Eunji everything about what happened, when she's told her about Bomi, that's it.

They're over.

And so is Eunji's friendship with Bomi.

That's what worries Chorong the most.


 

She's dancing with Naeun when she first sees her mom approaching and all of a sudden, she feels like a naughty school girl who is about to be reprimanded by her mother.

"Yoon Bomi, may I have a word with you for a second please." Sunghee glances at Naeun and sighs lightly. If only she had been the woman Bomi was interested in. "In private."

Bomi spins round to face her mom, a frown gracing her features. She hasn't been called by her full name since she was fourteen years old and her mother discovered she had skipped school to go shopping with Eunji.

"What's wrong?"

Sunghee doesn't answer the question; she simply starts walking towards the back of the house, away from the guests, gesturing for Bomi to follow her.

"Yoon Bomi?"

She hears the humour in Naeun's voice and glares at her. "You never heard that," she warns lowly before sighing in frustration. "I best go see what she wants; she'll only grow annoyed if I don't follow her."

Naeun bobs her head before dancing away from Bomi and towards Hayoung and Namjoo. Bomi follows her mom after a few seconds only to find the older woman sitting on a bench at the bottom of the back yard.

"I told you not to call me by my full name anymore," she states like a petulant child as she sits beside her mom.

"Sometimes you deserve to be called by your birth name."

"What have I done?" Bomi asks quickly. "When I was younger, you only ever called me by my last name when you were angry with me, so what have I done in the last thirty minutes to make you mad? You were all smiles before the speeches." She tilts her head to the side. "Did you not like my speech?"

"Your speech was beautiful Bomi."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Do you remember when you were eight years old," Sunghee starts as she picks a leaf from a nearby bush and begins to pick at it. "You were staying at Eunji's for the night and the one thing I warned you not to do was climb the tree she had in her backyard."

"I remember. You said it was dangerous and when I said I would be able to climb it, you told me not to find out whether my assumption was correct."

"What did you do?"

The corner of Bomi's mouth tugs upwards. She had always been proud of that small act of defiance. "I climbed the tree."

Sunghee nods. "What happened?"

"I fell and ended up breaking my arm." Sunghee nods once again. "I remember being terrified because I thought you were going to be mad at me but you weren't. You looked after me and it was as if I hadn't ignored your advice."

"I was disappointed you didn't listen to me but I wasn't angry. You were a child and children make mistakes. Telling a child not to do something is like giving a prisoner the key to their cell and telling them not to use it. It's pointless because they're going to ignore the advice and do the complete opposite."

"Thank you for the motherly advice but does this story have a point?"

"Another good thing about children is they're fearless and that lack of fear helps them to learn from their mistakes. You didn't let the fact you'd broken your arm deter you. As soon as you were better, you climbed the tree again and this time, you knew which branch would make you lose your footing so you took more care and reached the top," Sunghee explains. "You never bothered climbing the tree again because you'd conquered it."

"I don't want to sound rude but what's the point of this trip down memory lane?"

"I listened to you cry in your bedroom when you thought nobody was listening because Eunji said she never wanted to see you again, never wanted to talk to you again," she tells her daughter.

"Mom –"

"What happened to that little girl who learned from her mistakes?"

Bomi sighs. "She grew up."

"I know all about Chorong," Sunghee says quietly. "But I'm guessing by the fact your face has just paled, you'd already figured that out. I know she's the woman you've been ever so cryptically telling me about, the woman you want but can't have because she's with somebody."

"It's not that straightforward."

"You lost Eunji once before, I presumed you wouldn't want that to happen again."

"I don't want that to happen again," Bomi argues quickly. "I didn't ask for this to happen, don't you think I wish Chorong had been single when we met or at least that her girlfriend wasn't Eunji?" She brushes some hair behind her ear. "We don't always get what we want though do we?"

"You didn't have to pursue her."

"I know I didn't," Bomi says in defeat. "I tried mom, I told you that but things...I guess it was always out of my control. I can't stay away from her."

"Only you could fall for your best friend's girlfriend."

Bomi sinks down against the bench suddenly feel incredibly small. "Go on then."

"I'm sorry."

"Tell me how angry you are at me."

"I'm not angry," Sunghee reassures. "I'm disappointed."

"Well that's a relief," Bomi replies sarcastically.

"Bomi. I don't want you to get your heart broken again and I'm scared you will."

"It's my heart to break," Bomi says quietly before shaking her head. "Besides, I don't think Chorong's going to break my heart. I think she might be the one mom."

Sunghee smiles lightly and wraps her daughter in a hug. "I wasn't talking about Chorong darling."


 

The tension in the room is palpable and Chorong can't remember the last time she felt this awkward and nervous. Everything she tries to say doesn't come out and instead her words become stuck in . They've been silent for about five minutes now and Eunji hasn't pressed her to talk. She's no longer even looking at her, instead choosing to stare out of the window at the wedding happening below. Chorong coughs lightly and the sound causes Eunji to look at her, as if she's expecting Chorong to finally talk.

"You know, I can't remember a time when you were speechless." Eunji clears nervously. "Was it just a kiss?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You said you cheated on me and all I can think about is how you've slept with somebody else but you haven't actually said that. All you've said is you've cheated on me. Cheating doesn't necessarily always equate to , it could just mean a kiss. So what I'm asking is, when you said you've cheated on me, was it just a kiss?"

She can hear the hopefulness in her girlfriend's voice and it breaks her heart a little bit more. Eunji must be praying Chorong will say it was just a kiss because that means there is a possibility that things will work out between them.

A kiss doesn't necessarily mean they'll break up.

"No."

Eunji swallows. "A drunken mistake?"

She can see the hopeful glint in Eunji's eyes disappearing slowly and Chorong knows after her next answer, the hope will be all but extinguished.

She finds herself unable to find the word 'no' so instead, she meekly shakes her head.

"I'm really sorry."

"Sorry for cheating on me or sorry for telling me?"

"Both," Chorong replies honestly. "I wish I'd never cheated and I'm sorry that I've hurt you by telling you but you deserved to know."

"Now you think about what I deserve. Shame you didn't think of that before you decided to jump into bed with somebody else."

"Eunji –"

"When?"

"I'm sorry?"

"When did you cheat on me?"

"Eunji," Chorong begins slowly, finally standing from the bed and walking towards her girlfriend. She feels her heart break slightly when Eunji instinctively steps away from her.

For the last six months, it's been Chorong that's been subconsciously moving away from Eunji, now it's Eunji's turn to move away from her.

"Just answer the question Chorong."

Chorong pauses. "Gwangju."

She doesn't know why that is the first thing that comes to mind. Why she didn't say last October because that is when everything started to change.

Eunji scoffs sadly. "So when I was pushing Jisook away because I wanted to be a good girlfriend, I wanted to be faithful, you were jumping into bed with some stranger the first chance you got."

"It wasn't like that," Chorong defends quickly. "You're making me sound like –"

"Like what?" Eunji states. "A slapper, a tart, a . Take your pick Chorong."

Chorong shakes her head, tears forming in her eyes. Eunji's never been this harsh to her, not that she can blame the woman. "Eunji, you know I'm not like that. I didn't just decide to cheat on you because I wanted a change."

"Then why did you?"

"It's complicated."

Eunji laughs lowly. "You know, I didn't have you down as a one-night stand kind of girl. Although I guess I'm learning that I don't know you at all."

"It wasn't a one-night stand."

She grimaces as the words fall from her lips before she can stop them and they make Eunji whip her head up.

"What did you just say?"

"Eunji –"

"It wasn't a one-night stand?" Eunji repeats slowly. "What do you mean it wasn't a one-night stand? Are you having an affair?"

"No," Chorong says, even though she's unsure whether what is happening between her and Bomi can be classed as an affair. "It's not an affair."

"But it's not a one-night stand," Eunji repeats for the second time. "Which means you've cheated on me more than once and I'm pretty sure that counts as an affair."

"I think that's probably a case of semantics," Chorong bargains.

"How many times have you cheated on me then?" Eunji questions with distain "Let's see if it is really a case of semantics."

Chorong swallows. What does she tell Eunji? Does she tell her about the times she and Bomi kissed or just mention the two nights they've slept together? She would quite like to spare Eunji any unnecessary details. "Does it really matter? Cheating is cheating, I've cheated on you. That's all you need to know."

"Oh no, you said we needed to talk so I want to know the precise details."

"Twice."

"Twice?"

"I've slept with somebody else twice."

Eunji exhales heavily. "At least now we're getting somewhere. Were both these times in Gwangju?"

"No."

"When was the other time then?"

"Last October."

"Last –"

It's almost as if the mere mention of the month October causes everything to fall into place for Eunji. Chorong watches as her brow unfurrows and opens but no words fall out.

Eunji clicks her tongue, finally everything makes sense. She now understands why Chorong has been acting so distant for months, why their relationship has been crumbling around them. "Let me guess, the night you said you went to a bar before staying at Namjoo's."

"Yes."

"You never stayed at Namjoo's."

"No."

"I can't believe I bought that lie. How many other things have you told me in the past six months that have been lies?" Eunji asks but doesn't wait for an answer. "I mean, deep down I had a feeling you weren't telling me the complete truth but I didn't want to believe that you would lie to me. Part of me even thought you might have cheated on me but Bomi told me to stop being ridiculous and I thought she was right. I actually started to feel bad for doubting you."

"Bomi told you that?"

"So, who were they?" Eunji says, ignoring Chorong's statement. The use of the pronoun 'they' causes Chorong to blink quickly. Eunji thinks she's cheated on her with two different people on two separate occasions. She doesn't know that the person was the same and that their first meeting has evolved into something more than just . "Were they just strangers you met that night? Did you even get their name?"

"I really want to talk to you about this but I'm finding it difficult when you continue to talk down to me like I'm a promiscuous woman who just hops from one bed to the next. I made a mistake. I never wanted to cheat on you but things happened and soon they were beyond my control. Do I wish it never happened? I used to, yes, but it wasn't just a stranger Eunji. I mean, at first she was but then I got to know her. This isn't just about Eunji, it's –"

She holds her hands up to stop Chorong from talking anymore. "Please don't let the end of that sentence be love."

Eunji sounds desperate and it makes Chorong want to cry. She never wanted to hurt Eunji yet here she is, watching the woman she used to be in love with break before her eyes.

"Are you actually telling me that you've fallen in love with somebody else?"

Chorong decides against speaking because the repercussions of the truth are too hard to witness.

"Answer me Chorong!" Eunji yells and it's the first time in their relationship Chorong has actually seen Eunji lose her temper.

"Yes."

Eunji chuckles dryly. "You must think I'm such an idiot. I mean, here I am thinking you've cheated on me with different people but you haven't, it's been the same person." She brushes some hair out of her eyes. "Wait, you said you cheated on me in Gwangju," she announces slowly. "If this woman is somebody you've fallen in love with, she must have been there. The probability of you bumping into the same woman you met in October is incredibly slim which means she must be in the bridal party."

Chorong swallows and wonders how long it will take for Eunji to piece everything together.

"If she's in the bridal party, that means you and her must have seen each other quite a lot in recent months so you've been carrying on this sordid little affair right under my nose."

"It's not sordid," Chorong says quietly to herself.

"If she's in the bridal party, that means she's downstairs right now." Eunji covers as if she's about to be sick." I know her," she whispers and her voice breaks. "Who is it?"

"Eunji."

Eunji holds her hand out and extends her fingers. "It can't be Namjoo because you've been friends for years so if something was going to happen between you two, I'm sure it would have been before now. Besides, she's hopelessly in love with Hayoung. A feeling I thought I knew pretty well." She puts one finger down. "It's not Hayoung because no offence, you're not her type and she would never cheat on Namjoo." Another finger is pulled down. "Seungyeon and Yookyung are your friends from back home so I suppose one of the reasons for Namjoo not being the one is valid here, add that to the fact that they're both straight and have boyfriends." Two more fingers fall down. "Which leaves only one."

"I am so sorry," Chorong says once more and the apology has become like her mantra. "Neither of us wanted or expected this to happen but sometimes things are out of our control."

"I always thought she was interested in somebody else. I never imagined that she was interested in you."

"She didn't want to be and I didn't want to be interested in her. She didn't want to hurt you Eunji, she loves you too much. I didn't want to hurt you. We tried to stay away from each other, you have to believe me, but we just…we couldn't."

"What do you mean she loves me too much?" Eunji's question catches Chorong off-guard. It's pretty evident Bomi loves Eunji. Eunji scoffs and for the first time since Chorong told her she had cheated, tears well up in her eyes. "We're not talking about the same person here Chorong."

"We're -"

"I was talking about Naeun. I mean, she just appeared in this group and all this time, I thought she was interested in Bomi," Eunji explains. "How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so stupid? I complained to her about our relationship and she told me not to worry."

The realisation on her face tells Chorong all she needs to know. She has just inadvertently told Eunji who she has cheated on her with.

"Eunji."

"I was talking about Naeun but you," Eunji says slowly as a single tear falls down her cheek. "You were talking about Bomi."

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Panda0619
#1
Chapter 40: I just re-read this again.. just like the rest of the fans here, I'll probably keep coming back 😁
ChobomPanda
#2
I will never stop rereading this. acckkkk.
ckaz99
#3
Chapter 40: came back to relive it and I knew it, it's once you read you can't stop... still just breathtakingly wonderful *0* refeeling the feels, the on-point dialogue, back-and-forth, introspection, beautiful feelings, thoughts, torment, metaphors ㅠㅠ inspires and motivates me
srlee012 #4
Chapter 40: This was so good!! i was as torn and devastated as bomi but i really feel bad for eunji :(( this story was a great read!!
ChomiChobbom
#5
It's been a long time since you updated
ChomiChobbom
#6
We missed you, please update
blueisnotnerd
#7
Chapter 39: It’s such a shame that i found this story years later. When I first read the description I thought its gonna be another cheesy one night stand turns romantic kind of story but you, Author really did amazing job creating, expanding and linking all the characters together. I really wasnt expecting such an angst and one thing for sure, i didnt expect i would get so devastated with what happened between relationships that is formed with the cost of friendship it just.. i can’t imagine it to happen to me. Lastly, thanks for the great story. You’re an amazing writer!
Panda0619
#8
Chapter 40: Hi Waving Panda! I've just read the story again. I think it's the 3rd or 4th time already, and I wasn't quite expecting it, but I wondered if you re-wrote or edited parts of it, because I thought it was even better than how I remembered it.. This story is definitely worth reading over and over again.. and one doesn't even need to know Apink for real to appreciate the story and feel all those emotions that one would seek from a good love story..

This time after reading, I took some time to read the comments, and I agree that the ending is probably not as satisfying for many readers, since most people will be looking forward to the fluff after the angst is over. Yet, the fluff has got to end somewhere or this will just turn into a never-ending story, which will make it really odd. If there is no conflict, there is nothing much to anticipate too. So on second thoughts, perhaps the way it ended would have been best.

Thanks again for this story, it's definitely inspirational. And this will probably not be the last time I'll read this.

I hope you're still sharing your gift with your fans on this site.. =)
1235577 #9
Chapter 39: One of the best fanfics i’ve ever read!!!
byulyibabe #10
Chapter 40: I fell in love with your writing style. I'm so glad I discovered this story. I'm speechless. That was really beautiful. Consider me a fan and you have no idea how badly I want to snatch you in our fandom right now so we'll be blessed with your skills. Thank you! That was so wonderful ?