“I am the straightest man alive!”

“Right now you're the drunkest man alive.”

Jongdae was laughing all over the place as Minseok rolled his eyes at his very inebriated friend.

It kept happening whenever their group of friends went clubbing, Jongdae getting drunk and dancing with every man and woman on the dancefloor, shamelessly grinding on anyone who was willing to let him closer. It was usually one of their friends, sometimes Yixing, other times Sehun. But on on some nights, much like this one, it was on a beautiful girl, long-haired and way out of his league. Minseok rolled his eyes, hard, but also made sure Jongdae didn't do anything too stupid, as a good friend should. Jongdae doesn’t get stupid. That night, at least.

.

The legend of Straight Jongdae started during college, when most people in their groups of friends were getting comfortable enough to come out to the others. The first one was Minseok, who made it clear to all of them that he was out, loud and proud. Baekhyun claimed he liked anything as long as they were human. Junmyeon and Sehun never had to put anything into words since they made out at a party five years ago and still haven't stopped being grossly enamoured with each other. Jongdae did come out, as a “100% straight man who likes s” (his words), earning himself a slap across the head from Baekhyun, his roommate, during one of their late night heart to heart talks.

“You're at least a little bi, I've seen the way you look at Minseok when he's dancing. And I'm being generous with 'little’, you have a major crush on him.” Is what Baekhyun said one night, after one of their many parties. Jongdae denied, called him crazy, but he did love watching Minseok dance. Too bad Minseok only danced with (or, really, dated) tall men, because Jongdae would've been more than happy to dance with (or, really, date) him.

Even with his insistence on claiming to be a heteroual, his tendency to touch his friends all over and, more importantly, to grind on them, made everyone . A lot. It was the most immature behavior, but they were, after all, stupid college boys who got drunk when they shouldn’t and skipped classes to play video games, their lack of judgement was common knowledge.

No one ever saw Jongdae actually kissing or hitting on a guy, but to be fair his endeavours trying to woo girls also didn't prosper much. Eventually it became a recurring joke on their group of friends, and to this day none of them knows who started it (surprisingly, Junmyeon), the trend of referring to Jongdae as Dirty Straight or just Straight Jongdae. This went on for a while until something stupid happened and they moved on to teasing the next person.

Eventually college ended for them, one by one, and a lot of people they used to know either moved away or got married and boring, but Jongdae still got to hang out with Minseok, Sehun, Junmyeon and Yixing the most. Chanyeol showed up on occasion, always with a different date. Baekhyun moved overseas for work and Jongdae had already made plans to visit him soon. They were no longer as stupid as their college years allowed them to but that didn’t mean they weren’t stupid on occasion.

.

Clubbing was usually Jongdae or Sehun’s suggestion, and being the youngest ones of the group meant the other three went along with whatever they wanted, just because they were more than happy to indulge them. Sehun kept saying it was because Minseok was in love with him but Jongdae laughed it off, claiming Minseok only dated taller older man, it had been that way since college, since whats-his-face and then tall-as-heck-douche, he couldn't, or didn't want to, remember their names, but Sehun just shaked his head negatively and said Jongdae couldn’t be more blind even if he wanted to.

Minseok and him got a lot closer after Baekhyun left, right after they were done with college. They started doing everything together, including late night talks at Minseok’s nice and cozy apartment, except now these talks included less complaining about teachers and tests and more about bosses and deadlines. Sometimes the topic of conversation moved on to relationships and dates, not that Jongdae even had much to show off, as an eternal bachelor. He was never one to pry either, but he always wanted to ask a lot more than what Minseok gave him. “Are you in love with someone?”, “Do you think I am ever going to date someone like you?”, “Let's date?”. He never asked, never tried, because Jongdae wasn't so sure of what he wanted and it felt like an move to drag Minseok into it.

On one particularly tiring day Jongdae found himself going over to Minseok’s apartment after work. He bought a bottle of wine and grabbed some take out food on his way there, something he knew his friend liked eating. When he got there Jongdae realized he probably should've messaged Minseok beforehand, the other awkwardly standing at the door while Jongdae could see a man, a tall one, it was always a tall one, standing in the living room. He went home alone and got himself drunk off the wine he had so carefully picked for Minseok.

A few days later Baekhyun announced a short visit and urged everyone he knew from college to go with him to a club, one of the extremely loud ones, sweaty bodies all over, drinks more expensive than they should be. It had been a week and a half since Jongdae showed up at Minseok's place only to interrupt a date the other was in. He had apologized over text the next morning and then proceeded to ignore Minseok since. It was an move, he knew it, but witnessing that in person and being irrationally angry about it, as if Minseok owed him any explanation, had Jongdae questioning himself more than ever.

He didn't plan on drinking that night but after spotting Minseok his resolution went down the drain. Jongdae plastered himself by the bar and kept a tab open all night, especially after Chanyeol challenged him to drink shots.

“So I see you're still in love with him.” Baekhyun sat next to him, a beer in his hand. “Stop staring obsessively, it's not a good look on you. Go talk to him.”

“I am not in love with him, I'm straight.”

“Oh no, Dirty Straight Jongdae is back, hide your daughters before he manages to make a complete fool out of himself and never date any of them,” he mocked. “You’re a fool.”

“I'm not in love with him.”

“Sure, honeybuns. Hey, do you think they'd be willing to add a third party to their relationship?” Baekhyun looked over at where Junmyeon and Sehun were dancing.

“Gross. I'm leaving.” Jongdae got to his feet but only then he realized just how much alcohol he had been drinking.

“I was joking, okay?” Baekhyun laughs. “Well, about the part, not about you being in love with Minseok.”

Jongdae really leaves this time, walking aimless around the club until he decides to go home. The buzzing on his head hasn't gone away when he steps outside, and when he spots Minseok trying to hail a cab his head starts buzzing even louder. And so does his heart a little, to be honest.

“Hey,” he approaches the older one, “I didn't see you tonight.” It's a lame opening after a week and a half of complete silence but he has to start somewhere.

“Hey, you look drunk.” Minseok smiles and Jongdae’s heart stops altogether. “Are you leaving already?”

“Yeah, not feeling so great.”

“Wanna come over and talk about it?” A cab finally stops next to him, and Minseok opens the door, inviting.

Jongdae is not sure if he’s too drunk or not drunk enough to deal with this. “Sure.”

The cab ride is a silent one, Jongdae plays with the sleeves on his jacket while Minseok gives directions to the driver, his voice soothing, slowly making Jongdae's headache go away. Shortly after they arrive at his apartment, as neat and organized as it had always been, a hint of lemon scented cleaner evident as soon as the door is opened.

Jongdae steps out of his shoes slowly, unsure. Minseok offers him water, tea, anything. “Except more booze.” The older man says laughing, but seriously.

“Thanks, I'm good.” Jongdae makes his way to the couch, to the seat that is already shaped like his (firm, apple-like, thank you very much) , courtesy of many sleepless nights playing games and drinking with Minseok.

“So what's up?” Minseok sits quietly, folding his legs under his body, a bottle of water in his hands. “You were drinking a lot tonight.”

“How do you know? We didn't see each other tonight. I only had water.”

Minseok giggles and Jongdae hates that he wants to kiss his friend so bad, and he hates it even more that he can't.

“I did see you. Short man, mopey hair, even more mopey face, sitting by the bar? Sounds like you.” Minseok sounds cheery but he's not really laughing, he wouldn't laugh at Jongdae's sadness.

“I think I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be in love with.” He wants to claim this is the alcohol talking but Jongdae knows it's not about the amount of alcohol he had tonight at all, it's about being in love with Minseok, because he has been for a while now. Maybe even longer than he realizes.

“Why shouldn't you?”

Jongdae is half relieved Minseok's follow up question wasn't 'who is it?’ because he needs more time to work up his courage.

“He doesn't date men like me.”

“I'm not about to make a fuss about uality but ‘he’? This is new.”

Minseok’s expression doesn't change and Jongdae has never been so grateful for someone in his life.

“It's new but also...it isn't? I've been in love with him for a while now.”

“That's...great, Jongdae, I hope he likes you back so you can stop being a drag at parties like tonight. Baekhyun texted me saying you broke his spirit, just as he was about to go for a or something.”

“He wants to sleep with Junmyeon and Sehun, so I'm glad I made him sad.”

Minseok's expression finally changes.

“One of them might kill him for even suggesting it.”

Jongdae just nods his head in agreement.

“Do you wanna stay over? We don't have to talk about your secret crush anymore.”

Jongdae wants to scream.

He stays the night anyway.

.

It's half past eight when Jongdae feels his phone vibrating under his arm. It takes him a few seconds to make sense of his whereabouts. Minseok's couch. Ah, yes, he stayed over and they talked some more and then went to sleep. Separately.

He hears some movement from Minseok's bedroom and checks his phone. A notification from Baekhyun that he promptly ignores. Another from Sehun asking him if he's fine and one from Yixing asking if he wants to go for a run on sunday morning. As if Jongdae ever ran in his life. Especially on a sunday morning. Yixing gives him too much credit.

Minseok's door opens and Jongdae no longer feels drunk but his brain still has to catch up, and this is why he regrets the next few words that come out of his mouth.

“Why do you only date tall men?”

There's silence, and when he searches Minseok’s face for an answer he gets the loudest laugh he probably ever heard coming out of the man’s small body.

“What's so funny?” Jongdae asks and he's almost angry at how Minseok is openly laughing at his despair (not that he even knows about Jongdae’s suffering).

“Why are you asking me this?” Minseok plops on the couch, making sure not to sit on Jongdae who's still lying down.

“I'm curious. You only date tall older men, I figured you had a type. What's so special about tall men?”

“They can reach my highest cabinets for me.” Minseok says jokingly and Jongdae is really angry now.

“I'm being serious!” He tries his best not to sound whiny.

“I don't have a type. It just happened like this.”

Jongdae debates with himself how this conversation can go from here but his phone vibrates once more before he can really think it out.

He checks to see a notification from Baekhyun and he clicks on their chat just to tell him to off, but his eyes are met with a selca, Baekhyun, Junmyeon and Sehun all shirtless cuddling in bed. Junmyeon and Sehun look asleep but Baekhyun is obviously wide awake, holding his phone and making a v-sign towards the camera. “I went for it, ” reads the caption. Jongdae laughs loudly before showing Minseok his phone.

He sits on the couch as Minseok laughs too and says something along the lines of “He truly went for it, crazy bastard.”

There’s silence for a few seconds, Minseok still recovering from laughing, when Jongdae finally says what he should’ve said long ago.

“Date me.”

Minseok looks at him like he saw a ghost.

“If you don't have a type, date me. I'm short and younger than you, the opposite of all the man you date.”

“I’m-”

He looks so confused that Jongdae wants to hug him. Protect him, even if he needs no protection.

“Was last night about me?” Minseok asks and Jongdae can only nod, his voice would probably betray him, all momentary courage to confess already gone.

“You're an idiot.”

He knows he is.

“I've been dating tall older men because the only short younger one I ever wanted was straight. Dirty Straight Jongdae.”

He feels stupid but in his defense it was always a Minseok thing, and he still needs to learn if other men attract him too. (Maybe he felt really flustered and sorta when he met Sehun but honestly which human person with two eyes wouldn't?)

“You still haven't answered me.”

Minseok kisses him before anything else, muttering “yes” against Jongdae's lips.

.

Baekhyun is gathering his stuff to leave for his hotel, not forgetting to thank Junmyeon and Sehun for their “hospitality”, to which Sehun snorts. His phone notification ring goes off as he fumbles with pants and a shirt on his hands.

“I went for it too, ” reads the caption to a sweet selca of Minseok and Jongdae cuddling on the couch.

“How do you guys feel about a ?” is what Baekhyun replies.

Jongdae blocks his number for a week.