Kyungsoo is walking briskly along the paved road, thinking of his apartment and the hot tea he will prepare as soon as he returns home. Only a few minutes separate him from his destination: past the corner, just after the supermarket, he will soon find the old apartment building waiting for him.

It is a nice building with a doorkeeper, a small garden, and an underground parking area. The residents are all kind to him, and Kyungsoo finds the neighbourhood to be a safe and quiet one, the perfect living situation for a student like himself – which is why he is not the only student living there who attends the university nearby.

The air is cold and Kyungsoo sneezes, rubbing his hands together as he walks towards the apartment building entrance, fingertips red and stiff from the cold.

He waves and smiles at the middle-aged doorman before taking the elevator up to his floor and tiredly making his way towards door number 124, thinking about the notes he needs to organize for an essay he has to finish and hand in by the following week.

Groaning, he arrives in front of his doorstep only to be surprised by a single red and white carnation inside the little hand crocheted cream basket hanging on the doorknob.

Kyungsoo had put the basket there after transferring to his new apartment. He found it useful because it allowed his neighbours to leave him quick messages and, well, he could not just throw away one of his mother’s handmade gifts, could he?

Throwing a cautious look around, Kyungsoo takes the innocent looking flower from the basket and brings it to his nose, inhaling the petals’ faint scent, one that reminds him of summer and easier days, when he was only a child living in the countryside and not in the chaos of Seoul’s core.

Later that afternoon, after a shower and a snack, Kyungsoo sits at his desk and is suddenly reminded of the pretty flower he had found waiting for him hours prior.

Curiosity sets in, and pursing his lips, he promptly googles the word ‘carnations’ only to be directed to a myriad of different sites about flowers: articles and articles on how to recognize flowers and take care of them, as well as suggestions on how to arrange a bouquet to give to a loved one.

He clicks on a blog promising to help him ‘Discover the meaning behind ten popular flowers! Here is how to send the right romantic message with your bouquet’. What Kyungsoo comes across while navigating through the obnoxiously hot-pink blog is a list of flowers and their numerous meanings.

Apparently, carnations are rich with symbolism, mythology and even debates, since scholars are still uncertain about the real meaning of the word carnation itself. They also can be found in a wide range of colours, and while in general they express love, fascination, and distinction, every single colour carries a unique association. White carnations suggest pure love and good luck, light red symbolizes admiration, while dark red represents deep love and affection, and so on.

They are marvelous flowers, hearty and affordable, but, of course, as he skims through the long online article, what catches Kyungsoo’s attention is the fact that the ruffled bloom lying on his desk means pure love and admiration.

Who would send a flower with such a specific meaning to none-other than Kyungsoo? Boring and sleep-deprived literature student Do Kyungsoo, with few friends and even less free time?

Maybe the flower was meant for someone else, or the person sending it simply did not mean for Kyungsoo to read so much into what was perhaps only a kind gesture. Of this, the student cannot really be certain, but he also cannot help the fascination he feels for the stranger who took the time to leave the small present.

Head propped up on one hand, Kyungsoo distractedly observes the sunset rays caress the window sill in front of his desk as dust particles dance lazily in the dusky light.

His desk is already crammed with tons of notes, articles and papers he needs to study, but they can wait, because Kyungsoo thinks that the gesture deserves an answer from his part.

He searches for a piece of paper and a blue-inked pen, and tongue between his teeth in concentration, he starts scribbling.

///

Oh Sehun is a simple man. He likes starting his day with a big bowl of milk and cereal, doting on his dog Vivi, living alone, and having his living space tidy and organized at all times. He also considers himself to be a fortunate man, since he is able to study engineering at the university of his dreams thanks to his parents’ support.

Sehun has never thought of himself as an antisocial man, but he is not the most outgoing creature in the world either. However, he is quite content with keeping to himself and simply does not like complicated things.

Complicated situations and people are sources of nervousness and apprehension for him. And that is exactly what the inconspicuous piece of yellow paper taped to his neighbour’s door represents and is making him feel right this very moment.

Sehun was strolling down the apartment building’s dusty corridor, throwing a glance at his mobile phone’s screen to be sure that he was on time for his bus, when he had realized that there was something hanging on Do Kyungsoo’s door.

He had stopped in his tracks and looked around before taking the folded paper with unsteady hands. The message could be for anyone, really, but somehow Sehun just knew that it was for him, and when he opened the card the words he found there, written in elegant handwriting, were not exactly the ‘thanks, man’ or the ‘who the hell are you?’ that he had expected.

“Summer Dream”

There is just enough sunlight

filtering through my window

as I am reminded of carnations blooming

in the far away countryside of my childhood days.

Thank you.

Sehun releases a shaky breath, closes the card for the third time and hugs it to his chest, feeling his cheeks heat up at the words and small ‘thank you’ scribbled at the bottom of the message. Who could have known that the cute man living on the floor beneath his would be such a romantic person?

Sehun had been too afraid to approach Kyungsoo and introduce himself, but after months of staring at the shorter man from afar whenever he accidentally encountered him at their university, and gathering information about him from the old ladies living in their building – hearing them talk nonstop about how polite the young man was – Sehun just had to do something.

He did not want to fall for someone he did not know only to have his hopes crushed by impossibly high expectations and fantasies. He needed to take a step to get to know the real Kyungsoo, but since he was reserved and not one for bold actions, sending a single flower had seemed like the right thing to do.

Now, new questions arose: what was Sehun supposed to do? Had Kyungsoo researched the carnation’s meaning? Sehun hopes he did.

He had expected Kyungsoo to throw his flower away, or even ignore it and go on as if nothing had happened, but the shorter man had accepted his gift and even hand-written him a message, which was a pleasant surprise that was encouraging Sehun to try again.

The student sighs and hurries down the stairs, suddenly reminded of his appointments for the day. Heart soaring and card still clutched in one hand, he is already thinking about the appropriate flower to use to express his newly found curiosity and affection for his neighbour.

///

The second flower Kyungsoo receives, only three days after the first one, is a sunflower.

It is not the rarest flower, but it is still beautiful, and he discovers that it has developed unique meanings across the world; some of the most common ones including feelings of adoration, admiration, and platonic love towards a person, but also to ‘stand tall and follow your dreams. Focus on what is positive in your life and do not let anyone get you down.’

It is a beautiful flower, carrying an even more meaningful message, and if Kyungsoo was doubtful about the reason behind the carnation, he is not anymore after receiving another flower so soon: the flowers are definitely for him.

The thought of having a secret admirer makes him giddy and he can hardly suppress a smile, relishing the idea of catching the attention of such a thoughtful person. Kyungsoo is pretty sure that they do not know each other, yet the lovely message sent with the flower warms him up from the inside.

Presently, his only concern is about the identity of said person, and as Kyungsoo starts wondering about them, he cannot help but enjoy the sight of the pretty flower brightening up the atmosphere simply by standing near his laptop, on top of the pile made up of his French literature textbooks, its yellow petals swaying in the gentle breeze coming from the open window.

Kyungsoo wishes he could be as vibrant and bold as a sunflower, petals stretched towards the sky and face full of sunshine and warmth.

He sighs, sits at his desk, and starts to work on his assignments.

The rest of the afternoon is spent reading a novel and highlighting useful passages, never forgetting to glance at his present every now and then, eyes shining with mirth and hope.

///

“Dreaming Of The Sky”

If I could I would plant sunflower seeds everywhere

as I am certain they would shower their warm gazes upon my hands,

warming my cold fingers and heart.

Thank you for turning your head to look at me.

Sehun reads the card two times before exhaling contentedly, heart hammering in his chest.

“Vivi, he knows!” He exclaims, turning to look at the dog crouched at his feet, who tilts its head slightly to the side.

Do Kyungsoo knows that Sehun has been giving him flowers because he likes him, and although he is not a literature student, Sehun is confident that the last sentence is directed not only to the flower but to him as well. Sadly, though, he still does not have enough courage to come forward and talk to the other man.

Sehun scratches the back of his head in frustration as he decides to keep the card on his nightstand next to the first one he received, so that he can read it again before going to bed.

“What do I do, Vivi? He gets me, you know? I don’t get how he does it, but it’s nice,” he breathes out, but his dog just stares back.

Sehun picks the card back up, then pockets it and smiles to himself, ready to start a new day, energized by Kyungsoo’s sweet words.

“Hey Vivi, let’s go, huh?” Sehun calls the puppy’s name and it barks once, staring at him some more before walking down the stairs after its owner.

///

Sehun’s third flower for Kyungsoo is a yellow rose, meaning joy and friendship. He delivers it the following week and is a little nervous, because this time he is telling Kyungsoo that he is happy to have been accepted and not brushed off as a lunatic, and also asking to be his friend.

He knows that he is requesting a lot from someone who does not even know he exists, but he wants to try anyway, which is the reason why he has added a card to his gift with a single question for his neighbour. He had written and thrown away four cards before settling for this one, but he is still nervous about the outcome.

Maybe they can get to know one another a little or even become pen pals, until Sehun grows a pair and introduces himself, at least.

He hopes Kyungsoo gets the message because Sehun has been struggling a lot with finding the perfect flowers with the right meaning. He has been googling their meanings and histories, and going from flower shop to flower shop in order to purchase the right flowers, then delivering them whenever his neighbour is not home.

Sehun is an engineering student, a practical and logical person, yet he is doing nothing but silly things to be noticed without actually doing any real talking, all because of his fear of rejection.

Nevertheless, he is once again pleasantly surprised to see an orange piece of paper hanging on Do Kyungsoo’s door, and he sighs dreamily at the words written in the sinuous calligraphy he had grown accustomed to in the past weeks.

“Yellow Dream”

Your alluring nature and delightful hues

have captured my heart,

and a picture of you I keep dearly in my mind.

You are the sole yellow rose that I see.

When he remembers his question, he pouts because Kyungsoo only answered with his usual poem. It was a silly question, really, but Sehun is still a little upset because Kyungsoo has ignored it.

‘Who is the one person you can talk to about anything?’ That is all Sehun had been curious about. However, when he folds the card, he finds it. The answer to his question is written at the back of the card: ‘My best friend Baekhyun. What about you?’

Sehun adjusts the backpack on his shoulders and pumps a fist in the air in victory. Surely, Kyungsoo is giving him a chance to be friends and he will not waste it.

///

In the following weeks, the couple exchanges poems and bits of conversation, the messages neatly written on the back of their cards. They are silly questions such as ‘what does yellow mean to you?’ or ‘are you a dog person or a cat person?’ but there are even more serious questions like ‘what is your philosophy in life?’ or ‘do you believe in God?’

Kyungsoo finds himself anticipating his secret admirer’s inquiries and he answers every single one of them with sincerity.

By nature, he has always been the quiet friend, the polite son, and the hard-working student, never one to overshare his thoughts and emotions with others. However, he recognizes that writing is his second nature, something that comes easy – he is a literature student for a reason. He loves writing as much as he loves reading, but this time something is different.

He should be wary of the unusual correspondence he has going on with a perfect stranger, but for some unknown reason, he cannot hide his enjoyment as he pens his reply to yet another question from his admirer.

His curiosity is endearing and Kyungsoo cannot disregard his effort in getting to know him.

What Kyungsoo does not understand is why said person is so adamant in keeping their relationship a platonic one, never once hinting at the possibility of meeting.

However, being a romanticist, Kyungsoo has good reasons for admiring the stranger who is pulling at his heartstrings in ways no-one has done before, and the knowledge comes as both pleasing and alarming.

It is not the most ideal to have a crush on someone you do not know, therefore Kyungsoo resolves to take the initiative and be the one to reach for the other man.

At first, the fact that his admirer is a guy had surprised him, and Kyungsoo had thought a lot about the implications of such discovery. His admirer must be aware of Kyungsoo’s preferences and maybe that is not the only thing he knows about him. Perhaps, their ways have crossed in the condominium’s corridors or they could have even shared elevator rides without him knowing.

Kyungsoo is pretty certain that his admirer must know him from somewhere, but he cannot put a finger on it; and it is due to that idea that he starts paying attention to the time his cards usually get picked from the basket hanging on his doorknob, and comes to understand that his admirer must be an early bird like himself, because Kyungsoo’s cards are always taken in the early hours of the morning.

Their silent exchanges go on for about two more weeks until one November morning, when Kyungsoo sleepily gets out of bed earlier than usual, scratching his tummy and yawning lazily. He curses his French literature professor and his early lessons for good measure, then directs his steps towards his little kitchen, the parquet squeaking under his bare feet.

He chooses a blueberry and apple tea bag from his personal stockpile neatly organized in sections, and smiles contentedly while pouring water into his old red kettle, thinking about the fact that another thing he has in common with his admirer is that they hate skipping breakfast and leave home in a rush.

Kyungsoo and his secret admirer have the weirdest things in common, such as summing up the numbers of every license plate they see whenever they are bored while taking a stroll, or apologizing to doors or furniture when they accidentally kick or bump into them.

Admittedly, Kyungsoo knows that they cannot be the only two people to do such things, but he still thinks it is cute and the idea makes him chuckle.

When he realizes just how early he got up, he stops, water running over the sides of the kettle abandoned in the sink, and rushes to his front door to check through the peephole if someone is outside. When no-one seems to be around, he slowly opens the door and peeks out, only to see the blue piece of paper still safely tucked in the handmade basket.

He holds his breath, glances at the wall clock in the kitchen, and decides right there and then that he will wait for his admirer. Today he feels lucky.

/

Like every morning, Sehun arrives at Kyungsoo’s door at 7:30 a.m. sharp and takes his card with expectant eyes and a big smile gracing his features.

His seventh flower for Kyungsoo is a red gerbera daisy, meaning ‘unconscious in love’ or ‘fully immersed in love.’

Sehun’s cheeks flush pink at the idea of his handsome neighbour googling its meaning and laughing at his foolishness, but he seems to be a considerate young man and Sehun wants to believe that he would never make fun of his soft heart.

With practiced ease, he unfolds the message and reads his poem with keen interest.

“Silver Lining”

A gerbera daisy waits,

and tonight you are sitting

amongst my thoughts as well.

Love me,

love me not.

Lower lip caught between his teeth, Sehun re-reads the piece of writing before flipping it to read the reply to his new question: ‘what would you like to do tomorrow?’ and the relative answer, ‘I would just like to sit in front of the ocean for a little while and do nothing at all. And you?’

Kyungsoo never fails to amaze him with his delicate prose. It absolutely fascinates Sehun. He exhales, lifting his gaze to look at the closed door behind which he knows lives the object of his affection.

Given the time, he might still be sleeping, but Sehun often sees the other man wandering their university’s hallways fairly early, waiting for lessons to start or for his friends to show up.

At the thought of friends, his mobile phone starts ringing. Sehun brings his left hand to the front pocket of his pants and takes out his phone, seeing his best friend’s name on the screen. Sehun runs a hand through his short hair and heads for the stairs, pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt.

This year, winter is exceptionally cold and snow has been piling ever higher along the sides of the roads every day, promising them a white Christmas.

Already dreading meeting his friend Jongin – who will endlessly for his Kyungsoo problem – the engineering student walks to his bus stop with his mind still filled with the many stories he would like to tell Kyungsoo and his fantasies about the two of them spending Christmas together.

But little did he know, a certain someone’s gaze had been following his every move from the safety of his own apartment.

///

In mid-December it snows almost every day, and in every part of the city, snowflakes are descending down from the sky in a blur today as well.

From his position, Kyungsoo can see every single person passing in front of his apartment, the peephole allowing him the security of seeing outside without opening the door. 

Several people, including children and office employees, have already passed by on their way to school and work, but there is still no sign of his secret admirer.

Kyungsoo has prepared a little surprise for him: today his secret admirer is going to receive a very special card and the literature student feels incredibly nervous.

Minutes go by and Kyungsoo keeps throwing anxious looks at his wristwatch, afraid that his man will not show up. He is about to give up when, finally, a tall man enters his field of vision.

Kyungsoo sees him skip the last step of the stairs leading to his landing while sniffling, rubbing his hands together.

The man is tall and has a serious expression on his face. He is wearing a midnight-blue coat and a big scarf is twisted tightly around his neck. He seems to be deep in thought, but his eyes light up as soon as he stops in front of Kyungsoo’s door, only to look disappointed the following moment.

Kyungsoo observes his face for a moment, then lets his eyes wander over the dark hair and broad shoulders, overwhelmed by the possibility of this handsome man harbouring feelings for him. It is not the first time Kyungsoo has seen him come to his door to retrieve his present, yet the sight of his tall frame and serious eyes are enough to make him weak in the knees, precisely like the first time he got to see a glimpse of him.

Kyungsoo gulps and runs a hand through the dark locks of hair falling over his forehead, suddenly self-conscious about his appearance. However, he is firm in his resolve to put his plan into effect.

He glances once more through the peephole and sees the taller man biting his bottom lip, clearly upset at not finding a card inside the little hand crocheted cream basket. He fidgets on the spot, unsure of what to do, and before Kyungsoo can prepare himself, he starts walking away.

In the safety of his home, Kyungsoo takes one deep breath, and clutching a red card in his left hand, opens his door.

“Hey,” he greets hesitantly, waving at the startled man who had turned around to face him.

“Hi…”

“Were you searching for this?” Kyungsoo asks, holding the card high.

“I was, yes.”

Kyungsoo nods, smiling lightly. “I’m Do Kyungsoo, nice to finally meet you.”

“I know—I mean,” the taller man immediately catches himself. “I know your name. We are neighbours. I live on the floor above yours,” he adds, index finger pointing at the ceiling.

“Oh, I see,” Kyungsoo nods. “And you are…?”

“Oh Sehun, at your service,” he dips his head in greeting.

“Sehun… Sehun, you say… I like it,” Kyungsoo decides, giving his secret admirer another small smile. “This card is yours, if you still want it,” he says, taking a step towards Sehun.

“Thank you.”

“I think you should read it,” the shorter man suggests, and at his encouraging nod, Sehun takes the card, fingers brushing against Kyungsoo’s.

He opens it expecting a poem about the red catchfly he delivered the day before on his way back from his part-time job. However, what he finds is so much more.

“To The Man Who Touched My Life With Summer”

Come morning light            

and bring the one who touched my life with summer.

Bring him who is the constant wave

beating against my heart.

Let us dance a little longer,

let us romance a little longer.

Let him take my hand, and my heart too.

Sehun blinks, folds the card, looks the object of his affection straight in the eye, and is quite pleased to see that his cheeks are rosy also.

Kyungsoo clears his throat. “Do you like my poem? Is it too much?”

“I—I can’t believe you took the time to write this for me, thank you,” comes Sehun’s shy reply. “Actually, I like all the poems you wrote for my awkward self. I re-read them often.”

“Oh, really? Thank you. I appreciate the compliments,” Kyungsoo smiles brightly, his eyes crinkling into little crescents.

“It shows that you’re a literature student,” Sehun jokes.

“Touché. But, wait, how do you know that I’m a literature student?”

“We study at the same university. Also, the old lady who lives next door, yeah…” Sehun answers in a small voice.

“Oh, I see.”

“I’d like to read more of what you write,” the taller man adds.

“I guess we can do something about that,” Kyungsoo replies, pursing his lips.

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry I waited so long, but I know that I don’t want to waste any more time being stupid…” Sehun starts, sighing in relief at the other’s silent nod, and is about to speak again when a few words written on the back of the red card in his hand catch his attention. He flips the card over and reads the secret message, heart beating fast.

‘Will you go on a date with me?’ Followed by two tiny squares for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.

Sehun chuckles, and the tense atmosphere disappears, allowing him to relax.

“Scratch what I just said, I guess you were faster than me… again,” he makes a face, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “This is so kindergarten, and I’m sorry, but I don’t have a pen with me.”

“No worries, it’s just a formality,” Kyungsoo shrugs, amusement clear in his voice.

“Good, because my answer would have been yes, nonetheless.”

“Good, because I wouldn’t have accepted any other answer, anyway.”

And that is when Sehun decides that racking his brain for hours about flowers to give his crush were worth it. He wants to take a chance, wants to bridge the gap between them so that he can fall for Kyungsoo, and he wants Kyungsoo to take the same leap and fall for him as well, no more doors and cards separating them.

Kyungsoo’s piercing gaze makes Sehun’s heart skip a beat and he cannot help the smile that splits his lips as he steps closer to the shorter man, now only standing mere centimeters away from him.

“What about dinner?” Kyungsoo proposes.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

“Great.”

Tentatively, Sehun moves his hand to touch Kyungsoo’s wrist, then slipping it down to entwine their fingers soon after, warm and gentle, and when the literature student squeezes his hand a little in return, Sehun holds his breath, losing himself in Kyungsoo’s warm eyes.

Sehun is too stupidly happy to say anything, but he is sure that they will have plenty of chances to talk later, anyway.