Can You Read Them?

Read My Eyes

A/N: Sorry guys, I had a bad case of writer's block these passed few days and trust me, it's worse than flu. I hope I can make it up to you guys for this update. Also! I'm encouraging everyone to please read the author's note after the story. Just got some few announcements there. Happy reading :)

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Nancy twirls the Sharpie marker on her fingers absently, head resting on a free palm and eyes wandering ahead. Their fan meeting just ended moments ago and most of the members have been running around the venue like kids on playground. She can’t blame them for being that way though. They’ve been put to a place where rookies only dream of and big groups constantly use, how can they not be thrilled nor excited? They all have the right to be. Yet, for some reason, the maknae finds herself not leaving the tables.

Nancy is staring, and she doesn’t know she does. It seems that her eyes have a mind of their own as they trail along a certain face, examining the details of it — she notes how that jawline looks more emphasized when she tilts her head, how that mouth looks so unreserved when she laughs (and finds it completely endearing), how that burgundy hair always seems to be messy yet still gorgeous it’s impossible, how those cold eyes seem to all her attention as they stare right back into her own.

Back into her own...

Nancy freezes when the realization clicks and she dreads it how it’s too late to look away.

Their eyes meet for a second long before Yeonwoo’s lips stretch into that coy smile of hers, the same amount of playfulness reaching into her eyes, shaping them like that of a gorgeous fox she is known for. Nancy breaks a little. Playfulness. That’s all there is to it. Just, playfulness. She is not unaware that most of their moments are fruit from the girl’s playful nature. From pulling her into a friendly embrace in public, to mindlessly playing with her fingers when they‘re held together at fan meetings, and to more private moments wherein their faces are dangerously close, grounding that weak barrier of a distance in which Yeonwoo just stares at her. No movement, no inclination. Just there, staring at her.

It has been more than once that that happened and it is usually when Yeonwoo comes up behind her and pulls her into a back hug and Nancy will just turn around with a teasing smile ready, knowing that a banter with her unnie is bound to happen in this particular situation. To her surprise, however, all she finds are deep and intense gaze boring into her eyes. And just like every time, she stares back into them. It amazes her how she still can’t read the look Yeonwoo gives even if she has already seen it countless of times. It confuses her even more on how that look only forms around her.

But Nancy isn’t dumb because despite all that, she knows. Nancy knows that none of those are serious because... it’s Yeonwoo. The girl who likes fun and is probably immune to pesky, romantic feelings. Nancy laughs bitterly at that. The world seems to have fun playing games with her because here she is, having those pesky, romantic feelings for her dense of a best friend.

“You’re going to burn holes on me, Seungri.”

Whatever trance Nancy was in has completely dissipated and, as if everything is automatic, whips her head upwards to see Yeonwoo smiling down at her.

“Yeonwoo-unnie... “ The words roll out of her tongue before she can even stop them. It sounded so weak and soft Nancy wants to internally slap herself for it.

“The one and only.”

Nancy cracks a sideward smile, pushing any frailness to the back of her mind. “Burn holes? I doubt that, you have a thick head after all.”

Yeonwoo’s smile widens. “Do I?”

“The thickest—“

“—and the prettiest one, too.”

Nancy snorts. “Oh please, how can you battle with this?” She raises her hand up to her chin and flashes a smile, as if to prove her point.  “But your eyes are pretty, I’ll give you that.”

Yeonwoo laughs. “Ah, so you were looking at me?”

Nancy catches her breath, already feeling the annoying warmth creeping to her cheeks. She tries to fight it back but Yeonwoo seems to have already caught it, judging by the big smirk on her face.

Nancy clears . “Shouldn’t you be used to it by now? I mean, Korea has its eye on you.”

Yeonwoo shrugs. “Hm, maybe. We’re idols after all. People see.” Then she suddenly gives a look that made Nancy swallow. “But it’s definitely different when it comes to you.”

It took almost every ounce of Nancy’s willpower to not falter at Yeonwoo’s words. You see, they’ve done this kind of thing before. Throwing off-guard statements at each other until someone finally splutters and have their faces laughed at. It shouldn’t be a surprise if Yeonwoo initiates it again. In fact, Nancy used to enjoy that little game of theirs; always claiming victory while Yeonwoo would just pout and glare at her. Now, she feels like she can’t even handle hearing those jokes anymore. It’s like having your lungs knocked out of air, the kind that leaves you breathless in a painful way.

“You don’t say?” Nancy gives an airy laugh, masking the tremble in her voice.

For a moment, Yeonwoo is silent and it urges Nancy to look at her. When she did, all she sees are calculating eyes and her lips no longer smiling.

Nancy’s always good at reading Yeonwoo. She knows when there’s tears in her smile and she’ll never hesitate to pull her into a hug, letting that mask retire from her face and the tears soaking her shirt. She knows when Yeonwoo tries to cheer them up after all the hatred they received, laughing and being loud when in fact she is the most pained among them. She knows Yeonwoo when-... she knows Yeonwoo, period. But nowadays, her expressions have been especially challenging.

“Oh I say.” suddenly comes a voice.

And before Nancy knew it, Yeonwoo smoothly bends down and folded her arms on top of the table, leaning against it to support her weight. She leans closer and Nancy unconsciously leans back. They’re now at each other’s eye level and it took everything for Nancy to not look away at the steady gaze locking at her.

“Seungri, what’s wrong?” Yeonwoo asks, concerned.

“What do you mean?”

The older girl frowns. “Please don’t play dumb with me. I saw the way you stopped when I said those words to you. And I don’t only mean now, many times before that too. You weren’t like this before, what happened?”

Nancy’s body stiffen. She just stares at Yeonwoo with wide eyes like she has been caught doing the biggest crime. She can’t believe Yeonwoo has seen right through her. Nancy forces some words to come out of but she feels like is clogged. Seeing Yeonwoo so confused and... broken is too much. She wants to reach out and hold the other girl, tell her that she can’t bear to see her like that and she’ll do anything just to turn those lips upside down, but Nancy finds herself incapable of moving instead.

When Nancy didn’t reply, Yeonwoo can’t help but sigh. “You’re acting weird lately.”

Hear me out, let me explain is what’s been nudging to get out of Nancy’s mouth. But she finds herself saying this instead, “Me? Acting weird?”

Yeonwoo’s face falls.

“Yes, you’re acting weird... especially around me.”

The hurt in her voice is unmistakable and Nancy somehow feels a hard blow in her chest too. She can’t bear to see—to hear—Yeonwoo like this. She’s supposed to be her support, isn’t she? There’s a part of her that wants to blurt out everything to her, here and now. To make her understand why she’s acting extra careful and jumpy like Yeonwoo’s a stranger. To make her understand that it’s hard for her to be her best friend because she now feels incredibly more than that. But the other part tells her against it. She knows better than to put their friendship at stake, it’s the only thing she has between them. How can she let it go?

“Are you,” Yeonwoo hesitates. “not comfortable with me anymore?”

“No!” Nancy blurts out. “I mean, why would you think that way?”

Yeonwoo looks away. “You make me think that way.”

“Yeonwoo...”

“Unnie!”

Suddenly, Yeonwoo’s body jerks forward and she lets out a yelp when someone from behind knocks back at her. A pair of arms then came to view as they wound around Yeonwoo’s waist and when Nancy looks up, she sees Taeha over Yeonwoo’s shoulder, grinning at the older girl. This time, Nancy doesn’t fight her eyes for looking away.

“What the—, Taeha?” Yeonwoo looks over to glare at the girl. “Are you trying to topple me over Nancy?”

“Nancy?” Taeha questions quizzically. But when she turns her head straight and saw a girl sitting in front, Taeha gasps and quickly withdraws herself from Yeonwoo, stumbling forward to Nancy.

“Omo! Nancy-ah, I didn’t see you there. I’m so, so sorry. Are you hurt? Did I hit you? Did I make the table hit you?” Taeha asks in a speed Nancy barely catches.

“I’m fine unnie.” The maknae smiles lightly. “Though I’m not quite sure if the same thing applies to Yeonwoo-unnie.”

“Nah, when did she ever feel a thing?”

“Hey!”

Nancy snickers, not even denying how she agrees to it.

“Wait,” Taeha looks back at the both of them. “Did I just disturb something?”

“No.” They said at the same time.

Taeha doesn’t look convinced but Nancy is thankful when Taeha gave her an understanding look and didn’t press any further. She steals a glance at Yeonwoo and her heart breaks a little when the girl is obviously avoiding any eye contact with her.

“Well, if that’s the case, I guess you two should be moving now. The manager-oppas said it’s time to go and Hyebin-unnie made me fetch Yeonwoo-unnie twerking over here.”

“Yah! I’m not twerking.”

“Oh sure, oh sure.” Taeha waves her hand dismissively. “But I’m so glad I also found you here Nancy-ah.”

Nancy looks genuinely confused. “What? Why?”

“Oh, I know you’re not missing or anything. But Hyebin-unnie thinks otherwise.” Taeha bends down and stage whispers to Nancy. “I was afraid she’s gonna call a search party for you.”

Nancy laughs, a real one. “I won’t be surprised if she did that.”

“Leaders, huh?” Taeha smiles.

“HEY!”

Three heads turn around at the shriek from a distance and saw Hyebin beckoning them to regroup with the others.

“Well, that’s our cue.” Taeha says. “Come on guys, last one’s gonna do the dishes!”

When Taeha was about to take off, an arm slings over her shoulders and drags her down with so much force she bounces right back to a body.

“Nu-uh, as if I’m letting you go from cleaning duty.” Yeonwoo grins goofily at Taeha as she keeps the girl in a headlock.

“But unnie! I’ve been doing it since three days ago!”

“Exactly. No work for me~” Yeonwoo singsongs.

Seeing Yeonwoo and Taeha being so close like that pricks something inside Nancy’s chest. They used to be like that.

You weren’t like this before, what happened?

“Unnie, that’s not fair.” Taeha pouts. Yeonwoo just grins at her and the glinting mischief comes back into her eyes. She inches closer and smiled seductively at Taeha.

“I can do it with you. All you have to do is ask, you know.” Yeonwoo says.

Nancy hears something breaking. Oh, it’s just her heart.

Taeha wrinkles her nose and pushes Yeonwoo’s face away. “Uh, not if you’re going to ask me like that. Seriously Yeonwoo-unnie, I-.. hey! Why did you do that for?!”

Yeonwoo laughs uncontrollably when she sees Taeha fuming in horror, her face red and looks like she’s ready to slap someone. “Oh come on, it was just a kiss on your hand. Stop being a baby. I did worse to you on stage. Or should I say, better?”

“Grabbing my face and going in for a kiss that I will never allow to happen is better? You really are Momoland’s playgirl.”

“That’s me.” Yeonwoo laughs.

Nancy finally finds her voice. “Uhm, unnies? I think we should go now. Hyebin-unnie doesn’t look happy.”

And without waiting for a reply, Nancy stood up and walks away. She didn’t spare any more glance to Yeonwoo or Taeha because if she did, she fears that she’ll just crumble like how her heart did. So she walks away, ignoring the heavy gaze following her. Nancy looks down and stares at the Sharpie marker she brought along. She grips on it tight, trusting for that one thing to hold her intact.

x

“Nancy?”

Nancy looks up to find Hyebin peeking at the small gap from her doorway. She takes off one of her earphones from her ear and closes the little notebook she has been doodling down.

“Hey unnie.” Nancy greets. “Come on in.”

Hyebin takes the invite and opens the door a little wider before stepping in. The faint aroma of newly-cooked food reaches Nancy’s nose and only then did she realize that it’s already evening. Hyebin must’ve been cooking for dinner.

“Were you even listening to music?” Hyebin teases as she sweeps her way across the room.

Nancy rolls her eyes, albeit smiling. “Who do you take me for unnie, Daisy? Of course I was. Just, the volume is pretty low you know?”

“I’m sure it is, maknae.” Hyebin smiles, now sitting at one of the swivelling chairs in the room, particularly the one stationed at Jooe’s desk. “So, are you busy?”

“Not really unnie. I’m just writing a bunch of lyric—well, was, because I kind of just draw random swirls now.” Nancy chuckles sheepishly.

Hyebin looks amused. “You know, you only write songs if something’s definitely up.”

“You make me sound like I’m a er for sad songs.” Nancy does roll her eyes effectively this time, but when Hyebin gave her a pointed look, she immediately clears . “But, uh, yeah. If you put it that way I guess. How did you know unnie?”

“Leader instincts.”

Nancy snorts loudly. “Did Jane-unnie rub her amazing ‘choice of words’ on you or something?”

A memory of Jooe, Daisy and Jane doing the impromptu rhyme game suddenly comes back to her mind and it gave a good, short laugh to Nancy. Something she has been lacking for quite a while.

“Or something.” Hyebin grimaces. “As if I’m letting Jiyeon stain this remarkable brain of mine.”

Nancy laughs louder and she sees Hyebin with a strange, happy look—as if getting her to laugh is what she’s been meaning to do all along.

“Got a lot in your head lately, Nance?” Hyebin presses. She surprisingly sounds more serious now but her tone is still gentle.

Nancy ducks down, a sad smile on her lips. “Something like that.”

“Does this have to do with you and Yeonwoo?”

Nancy tenses. It wasn’t exactly pleasant that transpired after the fateful incident. In fact, it was horrible. The ride to the dorm was unbearably quiet and both Nancy and Yeonwoo look suspiciously calm, while the rest of the members throw agitated looks at each other. The event inside the dorm isn’t any better, either. All members feel suffocated from the intense, looming atmosphere between the two visuals and not one soul dared to ask what was wrong. They all know it’s a terrible, terrible idea.

Nancy knew she has to do something, and she wants to do something. But whenever she tries to approach the other girl, there is some sort of a wall emerging between them; not letting her pass in any way. It’s not like they don’t talk anymore, they actually still do, but their interactions have been reduced down to “yes”, “no”, “thank you”, and “okay, bye”.

Whoever’s fault it is, Nancy doesn’t care. She just wants to make things right even if it means swearing all the blame. She misses being with Yeonwoo. She misses doing stuffs with Yeonwoo. She misses Yeonwoo.

“I... it’s been hard, unnie.” Nancy croaks. “I’ve been trying to reach her, really I have, but she kind of just, shuts me down. I don’t want this to happen. I never wanted this to happen.”

“Nancy...”

“Everything is so complicated ever since—“ Nancy abruptly stops when she realizes what she’s about to spill. The sound of wheels rolling on the floor didn’t immediately register to her mind until she feels a hand over hers. Nancy croaks even more.

“Sometimes I wish—I wish that I never even had these—.. these—“

“—these feelings for Yeonwoo.” Hyebin supplies for her, smiling softly. “I know.”

Nancy’s head snap right back up, eyes wide with shock and something else. Oddly, Nancy doesn’t feel any qualms like she thought she will have if some of the members find out about her biggest secret. If anything, she feels rather free.

“Oh, maknae...” Hyebin reaches out and wipes something wet off her face. She’s been crying? “I’m sorry if I kept this thing with me for a long time. I just didn’t know if telling you guys is the right thing to do. It’s not even my place to start with but given these pass few days, it just breaks me seeing you and Yeonwoo being so distant from each other. You don’t realize how much it hurts the both of you.”

Nancy is too shocked to even make a sound, so Hyebin continues. “Nancy, go talk to Yeonwoo. Please. She needs this talk with you, and I know you need it too.”

“I... You—?” Nancy manages but fails to make a complete thought.

“Yes, Nance, I know.” Hyebin replies gently, easily, like she knows what Nancy’s trying to say.

“So how did you—?”

“It’s kind of obvious for people who has eyes, really. Well, maybe except Yeonwoo but you know how she is.”

“And it’s okay with you?”

Hyebin’s eyebrows furrow in pity. “Of course it’s okay with me.”

Nancy just kind of stares at Hyebin’s genuine concern and understanding. Like she said, she feels at ease for Hyebin knowing. Her heart seems to connect with Hyebin’s and it knows that she can trust the girl. The mutual understanding from both minds is just too overwhelming that at this point, Nancy feels she can tell everything to Hyebin without a heavy heart.

Nancy sighs, finally regaining composure although not completely. “But unnie. Yeonwoo wouldn’t even face me, let alone talk to me.”

“I can arrange that. Should I tie her to a chair then?”

Nancy laughs a little. “I don’t think I would want that.”

“You at least have to try again, Nance.” The seriousness is back again. “We all know how Yeonwoo tends to be really playful, right? Well, maybe not lately but you know what I mean. The point is, you guys really have to fix this for the both of you. I kind of miss her playful side too because I don’t think I can handle any more of her sulking over you.”

“Yeonwoo sulks over me?” Nancy’s laugh is a little lighter now, a little more real.

“Just like a baby. Sometimes, I wonder if you really are the youngest because Yeonwoo definitely passed all the requirements.”

“She’s a baby material then?”

Hyebin laughs. “I see what you did there.” And Nancy joins her laughter. Silence ensued after a good while but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Hey unnie,” Nancy starts slowly. “Thank you.”

In reply, Hyebin pulls Nancy into a hug and lets the younger girl tighten it. She doesn’t even have to ask for more because there’s no actual need. She knows what Nancy meant. She understands Nancy.

Hyebin gently pushes Nancy after a few good seconds and lets her hand stay on the girl’s shoulders. She eyes her again with such intensity. “Yeonwoo needs you.”

Nancy smiles. “I know, and I need her too.”

Hyebin smiles back, mirth now coming back to her eyes. “Good. We’re on the same page then. I’m so glad we had this talk Nancy but I’m afraid I need to go back to the kitchen. I don’t really trust those monkeys near a stove.”

Nancy bursts out laughing. “Yep, you better hurry unnie. I‘m craving for any of your food that is not burnt.”

“You got that.”

As Hyebin was about stand up, Nancy catches her hand that makes the leader look at her.

“I’m going to talk to her unnie. You can count on that.” The seriousness in Nancy’s eyes even made Hyebin’s already solid reassurance stronger. She can’t help but smile at the girl. What she has for Yeonwoo is definitely not a joke.

“I know.” With that, the leader stood up and shuffled her way to the door.

“Oh, and uh, Nancy?” Hyebin suddenly stops and turns her head around. “About that lyric-writing. I knew because you always write something when you look down. You’re not that hard to read as you thought you do, you know.”

And Hyebin closes the door with a wink, leaving Nancy with her newly-dumbfounded thoughts.

x

Nancy lowers her fist but stops midway, lifting it again, before finally dropping it with a groan. She’s been doing this repeatedly for five minutes now but she can never bring herself to knock at Yeonwoo’s door.

After dinner, she waited for everyone to retire at their own room before stacking all the courage she has to talk to Yeonwoo. Whatever talk they’ll have has to be done now. Nancy can’t wait for the following day only to have that day be Yeonwoo-less. She clearly can’t, and she doesn’t know if she can handle any more of it for so long.

So she’s here, standing in all her petite might, only to chicken out once she raises her hand to the door.

“Ah jinja!” Nancy hisses to herself, pacing back and forth frustratingly. “Get it together Seungri. You have to do this now, as in right now.”

So she stops again, faces the door, and swirls back around without even trying to lift a hand.

“Okay, okay. Nancy? You can do this.” Nancy mutters in English. She’s in a rather stiff position with her hand on her waist and the other on her forehead, looking as though she’s about to enter a job interview.

“You can do this.” Nancy repeats, sighing. She runs a hand on her already messed-up ponytail before finally facing the door with more firmness compared to earlier.

She raises her hand once again, face more determined, only to retract it back and stumble backwards. This time, it wasn’t because of her tendency to pullback, but because of how the door creaked open in surprise.

Nancy hitches a breath. How long has it been to really see those cold eyes she love? Gosh, she misses them.

“Yeonwoo...”

Yeonwoo looks at her with a plain face, but the aura she emits is unmistakably icy.

“Can I help you with something?”

The formalness almost hurt Nancy. They weren’t like this. They shouldn’t be like this. But being weak in front of Yeonwoo is the last thing she needs right now, so Nancy swallows and forces to make some coherent words.

“I, uh, actually I— How did you know there’s someone here?” And fails miserably.

Yeonwoo raises a brow at her. The girl opens the door a little wider and it was only then that Nancy got a good look on her. Yeonwoo’s hair is still damp, probably just finished taking a bath, and her body has gotten thinner. Nancy frowns at the obvious loss of weight. Has she been eating well lately? Her body has gotten alarmingly skinny and not even her oversized t-shirt can obscure it.

“I can hear someone prancing outside my room and the high-pitched squeals couldn’t be from anyone except you.” Yeonwoo says coldly, arms crossed together as she leans on the doorframe.

“Oh. Were you going to sleep? Did I disturb you?” Nancy asks carefully, softly.

Yeonwoo just looks at her. “What are you here for?”

“I just...”

“You just what?”

“I...” But nothing followed after that one word.

Yeonwoo sighs. “Look, it’s getting late already and we have to sleep. If there’s nothing else left that you want to concern me with, then good night.”

“Wait!” Nancy stops the door from closing in and the sudden energy somehow surprised Yeonwoo. “Wait.”

Yeonwoo studies her at the small gap bordering them. Her face have become softer compared to earlier but the coldness is still there. Neither said a thing for a moment, but Yeonwoo still patiently waits.

“Please, I have to talk to you.”

Yeonwoo scoffs, the bitterness coming right back. Talk, huh? When was it that she asked her what’s wrong but all she received as an answer was her name?

Yeonwoo...

“What is there to talk to? You’re just gonna waste your time with me.”

“But I need to. We need to.”

“There’s nothing left Nancy.”

Yeonwoo almost chokes back on her words when she sees how Nancy visibly flinched. It was probably due to the name, she doesn’t call her Nancy, only...

“Please, you’ve got to let me in.” Nancy’s voice is hoarse. “If you can handle whatever this is between us then I can’t. I can’t, okay? I just can’t.”

Seeing Nancy break is almost enough to crumble the walls she tiredly built. No, she can’t afford to have her guard down again. She barely made this past week alive. It has been like a walking death march to her and who knows what will happen if she let’s the pain consume her again. She has to make a choice. For her sake.

“I’m sorry... good night.”

And she closes the door finally this time, only to be blocked again and almost have her forehead knock back at the wood.

“I’m not sleeping tonight unless we have this talk.” Nancy’s voice is firmer now.

Again, Yeonwoo just stares at her. She doesn’t know why she actually feels relieved when Nancy fights back with her stubbornness.

“Dabin?”

Yeonwoo’s breath hitches. Having Nancy call her name like that is just so... wow.

“Please, we have to talk.” The firmness retired from Nancy’s voice and it was replaced with a rather softer one, soothing Yeonwoo’s heart in a mind-boggling way. “Will you let me?”

Yeonwoo sighs, she might regret this later. Or maybe not, but either way, she said. “Yes.”

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A/N: Surprise! We're going to have chapter 2 guys. Actually, it's stll a one-shot but I decided to narrow it down because I never expected for it to be this long. Also, considering that I still suffer from writer's flu writer's block, I'm just not sure when I can post the final chapter. I'll try my best to update this week though. Thank you for understanding :)

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Comments

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Keiill
#1
Chapter 1: Updated soon author nim
ApathyandLycanthropy
#2
Chapter 1: Man, I remember I still love NanWoo T_T)

I'm actually glad Nancy didn't give up and Yeonwoo actually said yes, so THERE'S STILL HOPE Y'ALL~
Momomommy
#3
Chapter 1: Hi au! Please continue writing this story. Its been so long. I hope you’re doing fine as well.
LeeYeonwooDabin
#4
Chapter 1: It's been so looong. Wru author? :(
Sug-ga
#5
I'm too sensitive for this iistg :( I am hurt but also I want more, such a masochist lol I felt it ❤ thank you author!
twicexsnsd #6
please update uwu
cate_astrophe01
#7
Chapter 1: Please! Chapter 2 author-nim! Cant wait.. ?? thank you! ??
dabeinlee
#8
Chapter 1: CJAPTER 2 PLS
maca_lawi #9
Chapter 1: When will the next chapter be posted? I can't wait huhu