Both of you met online. Both of you hit it off instantly. Both of you got together after that.

Almost instantly, problems started to arise. Miscommunication, distrust, lies. Yet, both of you were determined to move forward together, come what may during this journey. Both of you wanted this to work, and started anew. Made new promises.

Again, problems started arising again. Only this time, they left. There were occasional returns, until they stopped coming back. You were left all alone to wait, to anticipate. You had trust that they would come back for you, once they were done with their issues in real life.

They didn't return. Instead, they went around looking for other people, with a different identity. Yet you waited because you trusted them. In the name of love, you trusted them to return to you when they wanted to, and everything would be the same as before. But it wasn't. 

You started moving on with life, concentrating on your tasks and responsibilities. You started to slowly forget your sorrows, and get used to being alone after three to four months. It was during this time, they returned to your side. Asking for forgiveness, wanting to start over. 

Naive you said yes, and tried again, but with lesser expectations compared to the first time. Not even after a month, they left. Again. This time, they left for almost a year.

At this point, you would have told yourself to stop believing them anymore. They don't give you the respect you deserve, they don't provide you any sense of assurance, they break their promises. You should stop now.

Then they came back again, this time truthful about what happened and the reasons to why they left. Your mind told you to stop believing, but your heart wanted to do this once more. It was tough, debating on whether to choose the mind or the heart. However, the heart won. As always. You made it clear to them that if they repeated their mistakes again, you were done with trying anymore. You chose to remind yourself that it was the last strand of hope for the both of them. They agreed.

Months flew by, and the relationship was a breeze. You loved talking to each other and spending time with each other, it was pure bliss. You thought you finally got the relationship that you wanted, that the person you loved has finally changed to become better and that nothing and no one could stop you from loving this person anymore.

Until recently, it happened once more. And you knew, you knew that this was literally dejavu. 

They left you again, and this time it was clear as day for you. The tone they used, the short replies, the minimal to no wishing on important days, the broken promises.... they all started to resurface. You're crying alone again in your sleep, asking yourself what went wrong, what did you do to deserve this? Why did they lie to you, why were they ignoring you, why, why, why? When it turns out; they were already being truthful to you, through their actions.

They started looking for someone else, some other platform to look for someone else that they could have fun with. You started becoming boring, an escape route whenever they needed to feel loved. A tool that they could use whenever it was convenient, and put away at the corner afterwards. Your love started to be taken advantage of. Yet you wanted to feel wanted so badly by them. You wanted to believe that there was still a chance. Of reviving your relationship, of trusting each other again.

Nevertheless, you knew that deep in your heart, they never trusted you to be themselves. 

Despite their promises and words, you were never their ultimate choice. And you never will be.

....... Let's stop, shall we?