Is it really a miracle?

The doctor said it had been a complete miracle that Wendy didn't give way during the most recent operation. He didn't go into absolute specifics but he made it very clear that she was lucky to have escaped unscathed, and with a remarkable improvement in her condition too. The only change is that the operation had also opened their eyes to the damage done to Wendy's vocal chords in the midst of it, and there would be a chance that Wendy might lose her use of speech temporarily when she wakes up. For a brilliant singer like Wendy, losing her vocal chords when she wakes up might not be a blessing in the least. She might not want to continue being awake in the first place.

The company has made it very clear that Wendy's voice is her main asset; it's one of the many reasons she will continue staying in Red Velvet. To think that she has lost her only asset that makes her valuable to the group...

“What am I going to tell her when she wakes up?” Irene whispers to herself, her heart practically lurching from her chest to . She can foresee the outcome of this whole event. “I… I don’t know if she can take it, Unnie. I don’t think she can… And what can I tell the rest of them? What will they say?”

Taeyeon maintains her silence, keeping her eyes on something else. She knows the consequences of a main vocal losing their voice or getting a mere sore throat, and it’s not in the least pretty. The company has always made sure to let each and every member know their worth and limits, which is an absolutely y move because it kills the artiste's passion repeatedly without caring of their feelings or mental state. Her members have been continuous victims of that too, until they stopped caring and focused more on their talents. There are many hidden gems in each and every member that is yet to be discovered; the same goes for the Red Velvet members, no doubt. 

So what if Wendy is the main vocal for now? It doesn't mean that's all she has or can be - Wendy has so much more talent to be dicovered. Taeyeon herself always notices the way Wendy sings her heart out in front of their fans, and it touches her heart. Wendy could choose the easy way out instead and stop performing to protect her mental and emotional state. If it wasn't for the fans and her passion for singing, Wendy wouldn't be the artiste she is today. 

“Seungwan is a lot stronger than you think,” Taeyeon answers with a monotonous tone. She has full confidence in Wendy’s ability to get over this hurdle. “I think you shouldn’t pity her too much because she would hate it. Just be there for her, even if there’s no interaction proper.”

Irene doesn’t want to acknowledge that it might be a possible reason which might cause Wendy to leave the group eventually. She will never be able to forgive herself if Wendy loses her career too. It’s bad enough she ruined Wendy’s feelings and life; the least she could ing do is not ruin Wendy’s career too. She never once thought of this ever happening to their group before, neither has she imagined a life without Wendy. The latter has always made it very clear that she is never going to leave the group of her own accord, hence no one wanted to think of that negative side. The problem is: they might very well have to face it now that Wendy's vocal chords are damaged. 

Being engrossed in her own thoughts, Irene doesn’t even realize that Taeyeon has already left her alone outside the doctor’s office. She’s been sitting here for almost an hour; a part of her doesn’t have the guts to go and check on Wendy’s condition. Perhaps it's the trauma of waking up only to hear Wendy has gone into cardiac arrest that still scared Irene.

“Oh my God, Seungwan…”

Yeri comes up to the hospital bed stealthily, eyes scanning Wendy from head to toe albeit skeptically; she feels so much better and relived now that it’s been confirmed her condition isn’t bad. She can't explain it but her initial fear has completely vanished, much to her surprise. The only thing that Yeri can't understand right now is why Wendy is taking so long to wake up. By right, it shouldn't be that way since the doctor already said Wendy is just fine but it's been hours since the operation and there's no sign of consciousness. She a brow in confuson; why does she have a burning, gnawing feeling that Wendy is basically sleeping comfortably right now? 

Poke. Poke. Poke.

A giggle leaves Yeri’s lips when she finds fun in poking Wendy’s face; she hasn’t had a chance to do this for so long. Firstly, Wendy always avoids them as a group and secondly, Wendy always wants to be alone. 

“Kim Yerim, what do you think you’re doing?”

“U-Unnie…”

Irene sends a death glare to the youngest when Yeri turns around to face her with a guilty expression on her face, kindly warning her to step away from the bed before she gives her a good smack on the head. She smiles triumphantly when she sees Yeri pout before leaving the room (probably to go find refuge with Taeyeon) obediently. Without hesitation, Irene takes up the empty seat beside the bed, clasping onto Wendy's hand. Mere words can’t express how much Irene misses her girlfriend, not just because they’re in this state but because this has given Irene time to think about everything that they've been through individually and together. 

It will be a terrible waste if Irene lets go of Wendy now, especially when Wendy never once thought of it. She might have caused a lot of pain to the warms snowman but if Wendy would give her a chance – the tiniest bit of hope – Irene would rather die than let her go.

“Wannie, it’s been so many days since you’ve not opened your eyes…” Irene says softly, not wanting to wake the two sleepyheads; they’ve been up keeping an eye on Wendy ever since she came out of the operating theatre. “I miss you, I want you with me. I love you so much, Seungwan. I’m going to show you.”

Seulgi’s eyes flutter open when she overhears the soft confession and minimal sobbing sounds. She doesn’t want to intrude but she’s been waking up at the slightest movement these days, unlike her usual pig-like self when she’s asleep. Perhaps it is because she doesn't want to miss a single thing involving Wendy ever again. The last time she allowed herself to miss out on Wendy's life, she ended up comitting suicide. So many lessons have been learnt because of this incident and to Seulgi – it’s not a blessing in disguise, but it has opened up her eyes to the things surrounding others instead of herself. It also reminds her to stop thinking about herself all the time or consequences would take place.

If only Wendy was awake to see her changing her stance now...  Seulgi would give anything to have that once more. Just one more shot at life, Seulgi prays; it is the same prayer every night, because it's what she really wants.

Irene continues whispering incoherent words, almost as if she’s in a trance of her own. “I just want you to be okay; more than anything, I… I don’t want you to be sad or hurt anymore. I want you to be happy, but I don't want to be without you. I'm sorry I'm being selfish but I love you so much, Seungwan.”

However, this time, it’s not just Seulgi that’s staring over at Irene, but Joy as well. The tears in their eyes are threatening to spill over. This isn't a sight they will ever get used to, neither will they want to get used to it. Irene feeling especially weak and vulnerable around Wendy, only Wendy can't respond like she usually does because she's unconscious herself. The same leader who doesn't cry on or off camera or the members, has shed more tears to account for the rest of their years as active idols. Wendy, their literal ray of sunshine and closest definition to a saint, just let everyone around her down in one fell swoop by attempting to commit suicide.

“Remember when you would always wait up for me because I didn’t like having my dinner alone after schedules?” Irene whimpers out, tear droplets casually making their way down her pale cheeks. “A-And when you would make your carrot cake whenever I was craving? Or that time when you went out in the middle of the night because we suddenly ran out of sanitary supplies?”

It’s not a completely vague memory for all of them; Wendy had barged into all their rooms to see if they had any sanitary supplies before leaving the dorm to find some. Their managers would have combusted on the spot if they found out about Wendy sneaking out in the middle of the night. Furthermore, Wendy has already gotten in trouble with the managers because of her diet a couple times. Normally, Wendy would try her best to find something to substitute whatever they might need but because Irene was the one who asked... Wendy wouldn't mind the amount of trouble she might risk getting into. 

“You came back panting like you went to the gym, and I wanted to kiss you senseless for being such a sweetheart.” Irene smiles as she reminisces about that moment. She will never forget about that moment ever. 

Joy wraps an arm around Seulgi’s shoulder, bringing the older woman closer when she notices her sobbing too. She has finally gotten over her own anger and stopped being so hostile towards Seulgi and Irene – their own pain has been elevated to a level that she might not ever understand. Even up till now, happy memories of Irene and Wendy bring the two of them to tears effortlessly. It's bad enough that Irene is losing weight so quickly because of her bad appetite but Seulgi just won't eat until she sees their hamster awake and kicking once more. It doesn’t seem to be a kind of protest but Joy does take her hat off to Seulgi: for someone who’s such a muncher, it is an incredible feat to cut down her meals by so much.

“I know you two have been watching me,” Irene says suddenly, scaring the out of them. She smiles when she hears whispering behind her; her members still find ways to be adorable. “Come and talk to Seungwan with me. Maybe she’ll wake faster…”

Seulgi gulps audibly at the thought of Wendy waking up with her around, she might cause Wendy to go back into a coma because of how angry she'd be. Wouldn't it better for Wendy to get well before seeing her face? Let's not forget that Seulgi was so insensitive towards the latter when she stormed out of their waiting room to get some air. Although Wendy wasn't there to hear it in person, Seulgi knows it would have killed Wendy if she heard it. They have been roommates and best friends for years; her words shouldn't have left if she truly saw Wendy as her best friend. 

Joy, on the other hand, knows it’s better for Seulgi to focus on making it up to Wendy later when she’s awake. “Come on, Seulgi-unnie. We have to help wake her up first.” Joy smiles when Seulgi starts taking baby steps towards the bed, her heart calming within seconds... until her eyes land on something unintentionally.

“O-Oh my God.”

Irene tilts her head slightly, confused at Joy’s sudden expression; she was smiling a while ago but she looks completely fear-stricken right now. She fails to notice where Joy’s gaze is directed at, hence her confusion doesn't deplete like it's supposed to. Her focus is on Seulgi and Joy's interactions, which make her wonder if they've trashed things out properly. There is something absolutely unsettling about Irene’s gut, and she feels really odd. Joy doesn’t just look fear-stricken, she looks completely petrified. If there's anyone who is always feeling uncomfortable and fearful, it is Seulgi or Irene.

This time, Joy is the one feeling that way? It's nothing short of weird. 

“S-Seungwan-unnie…” Joy points at the bed with a trembling finger, her entire body shaking with extreme shock. She grabs onto Seulgi to stabilize herself, legs losing strength at the sight in front of her. “LOOK!”

Irene’s eyes widen in realization and she bites her lower lip, feeling the familiar burning sensation at the back of her eyes. She tightens her grip on her shirt, hoping to God that it’s what she thinks it is. Please, please. If you’re still hearing this right now, as long as Seungwan is okay – I can do anything to make that last to the end. Irene takes in a shaky breath, unable to calm herself down without combusting in the midst of it. The mere, little thought of meeting Wendy’s warm eyes again is already making Irene’s heartrate shoot to the sky. Honestly, if heart palpitations could kill a person, Irene would have passed away two times in a row by now. 

Seulgi catches Irene in her arms when Irene almost falls back in shock, her eyes tearing up inevitably – Wendy’s eyes were wide open and her vitals were stable but there was nothing in there… no warmth, no pain and worst of all, no life.

“I’ll get a doctor for her.”

*

Once the doctor gives them the green light that Wendy's condition is stable and she's much better than before, Irene almost breaks down in relief. In her own excitement, she lunges the doctor to give her a hug for being so brilliant during the multiple operations. If it wasn't for Joy and Seulgi apologising profusely for Irene's excessive happiness, the doctor might have Irene up for molestation (considering how Irene was literally all over her and her doctor's coat). Whilst Joy takes her time trying to get their leader to stop bouncing around like a hyperactive bunny, Seulgi makes sure to call both Taeyeon and Yeri individually to let them know the good news; though she won't be surprised if they're with each other right now.

Irene throws her arms around Joy's neck, hugging the taller woman for dear life. She can barely begin to explain her gratitude to Joy for always being there with Wendy when she needs help and comfort. Even if Irene isn't always there to witness it, she knows that Wendy has a soft spot for Joy too - not as anything, just.... sisters.

“I won’t hurt her again, I promise.”

Joy Irene’s head gently, comforting Irene to the best of her ability. She is not going to stay angry forever anyway. “Don’t worry about me, Unnie. Just be good to her, okay?”

With teary eyes, Seulgi watches as the entire reunion take place before her very eyes. She might not have opened throughout this ordeal but she's not a stranger to internal conflict between the members. For someone who enjoys being in a relaxed environment all the time, it's so difficult to function when there's discord. Plus, Seulgi is the resident teddy bear after all; there won’t be any laughter if she doesn’t bring them any.

“Come on, let’s go in.”

“S-Seungwan…”

Wendy’s face is void of expression and life, but her mind is working perfectly. She inwardly flinches when Irene comes closer to her, a hand laid on her cheek this time. Her entire body is frozen in its current position, hence she can’t even object to Irene’s touch. It is a challenging feat but Wendy shuts her eyes when Irene's lips land on her forehead; this isn't a feeling that Wendy wants to experience again. One of the times where Wendy actually feels vulnerable and weak because she got screwed over by the very person she thought would never inflict pain on her. She would rath