A/N: SaMo | College AU

“You told me that love is fickle and fleeting.”
- Erin Morgenstern

///

Momo is walking out of the bathroom, drying her hair when Sana approaches her with purpose. The older girl is slightly taken aback at the rare seriousness that's in Sana's eyes and Momo can't really help but take a slight step back. She wonders if someone did something to the younger girl but all thoughts slip out of her head the moment Sana's hands brace themselves on her shoulders and leans forward.

The kiss is a surprise, it's pleasant but a surprise.

She can feel Sana's lips moving against hers and a slight sigh that escapes Sana's lips before Momo feels the experimental touch of Sana's tongue on her bottom lip. It's not how Momo expected her night to go and Momo doesn't do anything but stand there, with a towel wrapped around her head and her eyes bugging out. Her brain barely functioning again by the time Sana pulls back and looks into Momo's eyes. The cogs jamming and her nerves short-circuiting in Momo as she stares back, blank and confused.

Sana seems to be searching for something. Momo's not sure what, exactly but before she can find out, the younger girl bites the bottom of her lips and swears; “.” and mutters a quick and embarrassed but sincere apology.

Sana disappears and locks herself in her bedroom of their shared dorm before Momo could even regain her motor functions.

What was that about?

///

Sana isn't an early riser.

Much like Momo, they have a hard time waking up and even have a harder time being on time for their classes. So, to see Sana already gone before 8 a.m. was a surprise in itself.

Momo ignores the slight clench in her chest and gets ready for her classes.

///

She knows she's being avoided.

Sana is off hanging around that music major, Dahyun and Momo is left sitting alone in the cafeteria watching her roommate-slash-best friend be overly clingy with the soft looking girl. Momo thinks maybe, it's because Sana's just embarrassed over that sudden kiss. All Momo really wanted to know was why it happened in the first place.

Momo barely registers another person sitting beside her until she feel a finger poking her cheek.

“Why are you glaring?”

Momo blinks and frowns; “I wasn't glaring.”

Mina raises a skeptical brow before shrugging it off and pulls out her lunch. It's some healthy ensemble that Mina's been making lately. Something about hoping it'll influence her roommate Jeongyeon to actually eat real food and not cup ramen every day.

“Did Sana break something of yours again?”

Momo shakes her head and ponders if she could tell Mina about what happened the night before but she thinks better of it, just mumbles that “Sana's just being weird.”

That earns a chuckle from the Kobe-native; “When isn't she?”

That is true. Sana has always been a bit weird, maybe the kiss was just a one-off thing. A lame-prank, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of Momo but didn't turn out so well.

Momo ignores the slight knot that's forming low in her belly at the thought of it just being a prank.

///

It's been a month and the kissing incident is close to being forgotten as Momo's been swamped with mid-term papers. She barely registers the door to their dorm opening and the silence that follows. Momo turns, her eyes squinting slightly (she's been staring at a blank word document for far too long) before realizing Sana's been standing there at the entrance, just staring.

Momo frowns and wonders if something was the matter, if maybe, Sana had a bad day.

She's about to ask but just like a month ago, Sana approaches her with purpose. She moves surprisingly fast for someone whose notoriously clumsy and before Momo even realizes what's happening, Sana's straddling her, hands on her shoulders, dipping her head close as their lips meet again.

It's rougher the second time, that, Momo notices.

Sana doesn't waste any time with experimental but careful touches, her lips move hard and her tongue is already darting out, parting Momo's own lips open. It's the first time Momo's ever been kissed, like this, at least and she doesn't know what to do. She thinks that she probably resembles a goldfish, mouth hanging open as Sana kisses her.

It doesn't last very long before Sana's pulling back again and her eyes are searching. Momo blinks and her brain is barely functioning again when Sana pulls away, gets off of her and makes way to her room. Strings of curses and apologies can be heard spilling from and Momo is left befuddled and a low coil that slowly tightens in her belly.

To say Momo is confused would be the understatement of the year.

///

The third time happens a week after the 2nd kiss. It's a quick peck on the lips and Momo loses her chance to catch Sana to talk about this kissing situation again.

The fourth to the eleventh time follows suit in the same pattern, varying from a lingering kiss to passionate to just down right rough. Momo thinks that, this may just be a thing that happens now (Momo isn't sure if she likes this new thing or not yet). The results are always the same and Momo can never really get used to it. She's always surprised when Sana kisses her and ends up being a stiff statue, just standing (or sitting) there as Sana did her thing.

The discomfort of fluttering wings that typically lays low in her belly, grows and creeps its way to the edge of every part of her being.

Momo ignores the implication of what it might mean.

///

Momo tells Chaeyoung that Sana has been kissing her and Chaeyoung had been drinking milk at the time. Momo thinks she should have picked a better time to disclose what she dubs the Sana kissing situation because now, she's apologizing to Chaeyoung as the girl coughs and tries desperately to catch her breath as she wipes down the milk from her shirt before it stains.

“What?!” Chaeyoung manages to gasp out, a bit of milk dribbling down her chin.

Momo mindlessly dabs at the freshman's chin with a napkin and shrugs; “Sana's been kissing me.”

“And you let her?” asks Chaeyoung as she catches her breath and inspects her shirt, satisfied that it probably won't stain despite the wet marks. Momo shrugs and stares out into the quad of their college, watching students rush from one place to another, their bags bouncing as they do.

“She's always been weird, it's probably a phase.”

Chaeyoung eyes her and hums disapprovingly, “Are you okay with it though? With her kissing you?”

Momo shrugs; “It's surprising but I don't mind it.”

The silence stretches between them and Momo is relieved to at least have that off her chest. Not being able to talk about it felt uncomfortable, like a weight that sat upon her chest, pressing and growing heavier, leaving no space for her to breathe. She ignores the fact that the discomfort is still there. A different kind of discomfort that makes her stay awake at night as thoughts speed through her mind, asking questions she can't answer.

“Do you like her? Sana?”

Momo raises a brow, “Of course I do, she's my roommate and I'd like to think of her as my best friend.”

“You don't have to like-like someone just because she's your friend, I mean, look at Jeongyeon and Nayeon - they're always at each others throats.”

Momo rolls her eyes as she chuckles lightly; “That's because they're too stupid to know that they like-like each other.”

Chaeyoung scoffs, muttering something that vaguely sounded like; 'preaching to the choir' as the young art student picks up what's left of her milk to drink. Momo clears , ignoring the heat that's beginning to creep onto her face and instead says; “I'm going to get some Jokbal, wanna come?”

They don't talk about Sana and Momo almost forgets about her roommate. That is until, she catches sight of the Osaka-native in a cafe with Eunha, their hands clasped tight under the table.

(She's not jealous.)

///

“Why do you keep kissing me?”

Sana had froze, the clacking of her laptop keys pause and Momo swears the air around them had disappeared, if, for just a moment.

“Why does it matter?” Sana bites out and Momo frowns. She wonders if she did something wrong to make Sana so short with her and the idea that the kisses were just a prank, flies right out the window.

“Because you're kissing me, it sort of matters.”

Sana sighs and closes her laptop shut, Momo's never seen the girl so tired. The kind where her eyes are weary and her body just seems to enclose on itself, making her already petite frame look even smaller. Sana pulls off her round glasses and rubs at her eyes before looking at Momo, contemplating for just a second.

“Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things awkward between us – you don't have to worry about it ever happening again.”

And that was that. She's gone again, like a storm that's just passing through and Momo's left staring at Sana's door with more questions swirling in her head than answers.

///

“Sana's ignoring me.”

Chaeyoung hums; “I've noticed, normally she's here trying to steal your food while making googly eyes at you.”

Momo frowns, “No, she doesn't.”

Chaeyoung snorts and looks at Momo incredulously. Chaeyoung knew Momo could be a little slow at times but she wasn't that dumb - was she? No, the older girl had to have some common sense despite being pushed head first to a wall at some young age. She couldn't have lost that many brain cells.

Still, Momo is looking at Chaeyoung like she said the swim team housed the loch ness monster and that she had tamed it.

“You seriously haven't noticed?”

“Notice what?”

Momo's blank stare is more than enough to confirm Chaeyoung's suspicion. The older girl is smart but she's pretty stupid when it comes to matters that involve her and feelings in general. It makes Chaeyoung almost feel sorry for Sana – the key word being almost – Chaeyoung doesn't really know much about Momo's roommate outside of what Momo tells her and what she observes on the rare occasion she sees Sana around campus.

“Wow, no wonder she's ignoring you.” Chaeyoung says in an irritatingly teasing tone.

“Can you cut the whole cryptic crap and just tell me?”

“Momo, she obviously has a big fat crush on you.”

That stops Momo's irritation short. It dissipates and replaces it with a sudden emptiness that runs through her body and leaves her mind blank. Her eyes widening and Momo thinks she's beginning to look like a fish with how long she's been gaping at Chaeyoung.

There's no way, not Sana.

“Excuse me? Sana? No, no way! She flirts with everyone, that's just her being friendly.”

Chaeyoung scoffs; “Wow, you are blind. You know making out isn't exactly what just friends do, right?”

“We didn't make out.” mumbles Momo, the embarrassment doesn't go unnoticed by the younger girl and Chaeyoung can't help but roll her eyes at it.

“No, you just sat there like a sack of potatoes.”

“It took me by surprise!” Momo says, adamant about at least defending some of her dignity or what's left of it.

“No wonder she's been looking miserable.”

At that, there's a plunge of guilt that sends her heart to drop low into her belly and she feels herself frowning, “What?”

She doesn't like the idea of Sana being miserable. She met the girl during move-in day and on that day was a day that Momo wonders how she had gone through life without the younger girl. They just clicked so instantaneously, been attached at the hip since they became roommates and did nearly everything together. Momo knew they were going to be friends for life that day.

To know that Sana was sad – it didn't feel right.

“She probably thinks you don't like her and that you let her kiss you because you felt sorry for her.” Chaeyoung say, her eyes peering out into the quad. Most likely thinking about what to sketch as she sipped on her juice box.

“I...”

“I mean, you rejected her right?”

“I don't know, I just wanted to know why she kept kissing me.” Momo answers sincerely. She really did want to know but there never seemed to be the right opportunity. It's always either they were busy with classes or they're never in a room together for more than five minutes or Momo just, genuinely forgets. It's just never the right moment.

“God, you're stupid.”

“How do I make it better?”

Momo can't stand the thought of living with someone who may or may not be awkward with her over something kind of stupid. She was supposed to be Sana's roommate until the end of the year and that's still a good seven more months before the changeover. How is she supposed to live comfortably if her roommate is going to be awkward over the situation she made in the first place?

Momo doesn't think about the fact that she's trying to fix a problem that she didn't make – Sana did. To be honest, she doesn't need to do anything and could just go about her day like nothing happened but Momo's not that kind of person. She's a bit of a fixer, a bleeding heart who can't help but try to help when she can.

“I mean, it's best to just leave her alone. It probably for her to be living with the person that rejected her affections.”

“I didn't...”

Momo doesn't want to leave Sana alone though, she doesn't want to stop being Sana's best friend. She just wants to fix this, just wants things to go back to the way things were, back to days where they're out eating some obnoxious amount of food. She doesn't want them to be strangers sharing a living space together – it's not something Momo is willing to compromise on.

“But you did. It's not like you like her too, right?”

No, Momo thinks, she doesn't.

///

Momo asks again when the weather is getting warmer and she's been staring at Sana's back for the last 10 minutes. The younger girl hasn't been doing any better since their last talk. Sure, she tries putting up an act – a well placed smile here and there, a forced laugh at something funny that was said, but Momo always knew. She knows when Sana's mind was elsewhere and how her stares lingered (sad and melancholic) a little longer than usual.

Contrary to popular belief, Momo's not that stupid. Sure, she banged her head pretty hard as a kid and yeah, she may be slow on the uptake on certain things but she's not dumb. She notices certain things and she'll understand what they mean if she just had them explain it to her. The thing is Sana doesn't like explaining things, not when things were a little too close to the heart, things that involve herself.

It's annoying, a stupid trait of hers – thinking it'll stop people from worrying over her.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Sana's shoulders stiffen and Momo knows she's over-stepping but she wants to know. She wants to hear it from Sana's own mouth and not second hand from Chaeyoung who constantly berates her for not noticing. The kid's got some serious confidence, Momo will give her that.

“Why do you keep asking?”

She's trying to avoid the question but Momo simply shrugs, despite Sana not even looking at h