MINGYU POV

I was walking towards my favorite cafe 

i wanted something refreshing 

i wanted to clear my mind

it's been a week since the night i spent with wonwoo

i sighed

just thinking of it makes me even more at loss

i'm really at loss

he came back 

when i least expected

his presence made me realize many things

it made me realized how a jerk i was

it made me realize i was wrong to toy with him

for playing with our relationship

and 

just seeing him again made me realize that i was really the one who lost

at the exact moment i broke up with him

now 

i only want to be with him

i just wanna be with him

again

not because i'm guilty for what i had done

but

because i know that deep inside it was always him

the past me could not accept 

the impact he gives me when i'm with him

that i was growing fond of him

that it scared me 

knowing that i was already falling

that every time we kiss, he makes me intoxicated

making me want to keep the moment going

every cuddle we share made me feel the butterflies

the time he smiles so sweetly makes my mind floating

his "iloveyou"s kept my heart swooning

but for me back then

those things meant no meaning

because i was afraid to love someone

that i might loose myself 

and 

end up breaking

and the only solution 

for my problem

was to keep on playing

toying around with peoples heart

using them 

since then many of them where waiting

waiting to have their chance

to have me 

even 

if it is just for a night

and so i kept on going

but now 

the foolish me, who finally realized his mistakes 

after tasting how it was to be used 

i wanted change

wanting to make amends

hoping for forgiveness

hoping there's the slightest probability 

of him 

giving me second chance

even if its just me

i won't mind falling

falling alone 

just to be with him

i smiled bitterly at my thoughts

i'm so hopeless

yes i am

the fact that once i had the chance 

to be together with him

just to break him and discard the chance given

and now

here i am hoping to get another one

selfish and delusional as it may sound

i won't give up

i will make up with him

that someday he'll accept me again 

and my love for him

be together with him.

what did i just write.