Cosmic Railway

 

 

OT12

 

 

 

The twin door to the train separates open.

 

Luhan immediately hops on the stairs, not finding any comfort in the train station. Everything around him is dimly lit, and he’s been the only person in the area. Coldness has been creeping into his sleeves and he’d really appreciate it if he can finally be in somewhere with good lighting and a little bit more warmth.

 

He’s met with another silence; at least not like the tense one he was in before. He can actually hear faint chatters around. There are only a few people on the train, some huddled next to each other, some with safe space between. He does some counting in his head; there are eight adults and four children in the section he got on. There are more people at other sections, divided by seemingly automatic doors. He breathes in relief; at least it’s not crowded. He can use some peaceful rest.

 

One of the children turns around and looks at him, and Luhan somehow shudders under the gaze.

 

The little girl turns back to the adult next to her. “Appa,” he hears her saying, “another uncle is here!”

 

“Aeri, what did I tell you about pointing at people?” her father reaches for her tiny hand and gently pulls it to his own. “Don’t be rude, okay?”

 

The little girl pouts.

 

“Sorry, man, she’s a bit hyper.” the man with deep voice smiles sheepishly at Luhan.

 

Luhan nods casually. “It’s fine.” he offers a timid smile before dismissing the stranger. He finds one empty spot that looks comfortable and immediately slides on the chair, straight to the window. However, when he looks up, he gasps involuntarily because apparently there’s already someone at the chair in front of him, sitting face to face.

 

He blinks at the stranger.

 

The stranger blinks back at him.

 

“Can I…?” Luhan inquires nervously.

 

Despite the man’s cold demeanor, a gentle, friendly smile blooms on the plump lips of the stranger he just met seconds ago. “Of course.” the man muses before looking down at the book on his hands again.

 

A cool person as a company for the ride sounds good for Luhan. It means they don’t have to mind each other’s business without appearing rude to one another.

 

=

 

“Hey, black jacket.”

 

But of course, his quality time with himself has to be disturbed.

 

He turns to his left to face the one who called him. The man from the seat across him is smiling at him. It dissipates his annoyance right away. “Yes?”

 

“Are you alone?”

 

The question instantly makes him feel uncomfortable.

 

“Sorry, let me rephrase it. Why are you alone?”

 

Luhan was about to retort when someone appears behind the nosy stranger; they’re on the same chair. “Great, Jongdae, now you scared him.”

 

“Then how did I suppose to ask?”

 

“I’m sorry, dude.” the man who chided on the Jongdae guy laughs. “I’m Minseok. We were just wondering why you’re not sitting with anybody here.”

 

Luhan blinks nervously. His finger immediately points at the stranger in front of him, whose attention now is not on the book in his hands anymore. “I’m sitting with him.”

 

“But you don’t know each other, right?”

 

“… is there a problem with that?”

 

“Everyone who joins after the very first station is supposed to meet someone here.” the Jongdae guy explains.

 

Luhan frowns. Everything sounds weird. “Okay…?”

 

Someone on the seat in front of Minseok and Jongdae whispers audibly. “He doesn’t know anything, does he?”

 

“More like he doesn’t remember.” finally the stranger with a book talks again. “I’m Jongin. May I know where you’re going to?”

 

The instinct inside him wants to answer, but as he tries to form a sentence, Luhan stops abruptly. Nothing comes into mind. Where’s he going? “Where’s this train going?”

 

They all sigh. “Another lost case here.” Jongdae comments.

 

“Don’t panic, man.” the one whose name is still unknown says. “You’ll get the hang of it. We’re going to somewhere good, don’t worry.”

 

“What – what train is this??”

 

As if they had expected him to ask that, Minseok stands and hands him a pamphlet. He scans the words on it, the sinking feeling heavy inside him.

 

‘Welcome aboard to Cosmic Train.’

 

‘Outside the windows, you’ll see nothing but the magical wonder of the stars, the brightest beauty in the universe.’

 

‘You, as other passengers, might not know where you’re heading to,’

 

‘but rest assured and believe that once you’re on board, you’re going to somewhere good.’

 

=

 

The words are true.

 

The only things Luhan sees outside the window are the black silhouettes of trees, blurring as the train speeds away. Above the darkness are thousands of stars, mixtures of black, white and soft purple.

 

“Oh God,” Luhan drops on the chair, feeling weak.

 

“He’s panicking.”

 

“Thanks, Jongdae.”

 

“You weren’t even in the conversation, Chanyeol.”

 

“Calm down.” Jongin is finally next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re in a safe place. Don’t be scared.”

 

“I feel sick.” Luhan blurts out. “Why… why are we here?”

 

No one answers him for a few seconds.

 

“We’re here because we’re going to somewhere good.” the little girl from earlier chirps in.

 

The father, Chanyeol, puts a finger in front of her lips. “Go back to our seat, Aeri.”

 

“What’s your name, dude?”

 

“… Luhan.”

 

There’s a noticeable pause between them, and Luhan watches as they all exchange a look with each other.

 

One of them looks at him again. “I’m Tao. Do you want me to accompany you for a while until you figure things out? I’m free at the moment.”

 

“I’m free too.” Jongin adds. “The one I’m waiting for is still not here yet.”

 

“I’m still waiting as well,” the Chanyeol guy joins, “but I have two kids to look after so yeah, I’ll just watch from afar.”

 

He wants to tell them to back off and let him swallow everything by his own strength, but their worried gazes on him look so sincere and sympathetic that he has no heart to turn them down. Besides, it feels like he has million questions inside his head and maybe they can answer some. “Okay.” he finally says. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem!” the Tao guy immediately leaves his seat and goes to sit next to Jongin, who snorts at the guy’s arrival. “So, Luhan, do you remember where you were planning to go to?”

 

Luhan takes some time to think. “Home.” is the only answer he can come up with. “I was supposed to go home…”

 

“Alone?”

 

He shakes his head. “No.” he closes his eyes. “My lover. We were supposed to go home together.”

 

Tao leans back on his seat. “Do you know where he is?”

 

Luhan opens his eyes again.

 

“I… don’t know.”

 

Where,

 

where is Sehun?

 

=

 

‘We get out of this city and live happily ever after, hyung.’

 

‘Do you trust me to take you away?’

 

Sehun.

 

He was supposed to go home with Sehun.

 

But why was he alone at the station?

 

“Don’t worry.” Jongin’s voice wakes him up from his trance. “You’re going to meet him sooner.”

 

Tao nods excitedly. “Good things happen here. People wait and meet each other. You’re going to find him as well!”

 

Luhan stares at the both of them. “You guys are waiting for someone too?”

 

Jongin and Tao grin at him. “My stupid boyfriend who is never punctual. While Jongin here is waiting for his soulmate to find him once again.” Tao explains Jongin’s case with a mocking face, which earns a pinch at the abdomen from the victim.

 

“Chanyeol, the guy with a little daughter and a toddler son, is waiting for his husband.”

 

“Hey, Chanyeol, come here for a while!”

 

Chanyeol is tall and awkward, but his friendliness make up for it. “Wait a minute.” he says before appearing with his children.

 

“Uncle Taotao!” the little girl chirps.

 

“Hello, pretty!” Tao picks up the girl and puts her on his laps.

 

“I’m Chanyeol!” Luhan accepts Chanyeol’s handshake offer. “That’s my baby girl Aeri and this,” he kisses the top of his son’s head, “is Hyun.”

 

Luhan awkwardly waves at the toddler, then blushes when tiny lips beam up at him.

 

“And yeah, we are still waiting for our special someone!”

 

Jongin snorts at the words.

 

“Does that mean,” Luhan turns on his seat to take a look at others on at the other side of the section.

 

“Yeah. They have met the one they were waiting for.” Tao finishes his words. “Wanna say hi to them?”

 

Luhan looks at Tao. “Should I?”

 

“Instead of getting bored by your own thoughts, why don’t you learn about their stories?” Jongin smiles. “I’ve put them down on here,” he points at the leather book on his hand, “my hand-written novel, but it’s better to hear by yourself.”

 

“Jongin is a writer.” Chanyeol adds. “He dramatizes everything.”

 

That earns a high-five from Tao.

 

“So, why don’t you go to Minseok and Jongdae first?”

 

=

 

“Oh, yikes, what should we tell you?” Jongdae laughs. “Our story is not as heart wrenching as Joonmyun and Yixing back there, but we’ll try.”

 

Minseok shares the animated laugh with the man beside him. “We just got married, like, last week.”

 

“We’re still discussing who’s going to do the laundry.”

 

“Together, Dae, we’ll do it together.”

 

“Empty promises.” Jongdae rolls his eyes as Chanyeol, Jongin and Tao share a boisterous laugh. “And we decided to start anew in another place. Minseok is going to open a coffee shop there while I’m a freelance song writer so there’s no attachment we have with our old place except our loving parents.”

 

Luhan can’t help but smile at how warm Jongdae and Minseok look together as they recall their previous home. “Did they support the both of you right away?”

 

“My parents weren’t welcoming at first. They couldn’t move on from my previous lover –“ Minseok pauses to grin when Jongdae glares at him jokingly, “while Dae’s parents immediately fell in love with me the moment he brought me home for the first time.”

 

“He’s got that bewitching smirk, guys. My mom was the poor victim of it.” Jongdae sighs. “But yeah, shortly to say, we ain’t Jack and Rose. We had a boring relationship. No significant problems or dramatic events.”

 

Minseok nods as he turns to stare at his spouse gently. “I love boring, though.”

 

Jongdae smiles back. “Thank God you do.”

 

“Ew. Stop.” Tao hisses.

 

“You’re just jealous your boyfriend is not romantic.” Jongin teases, earning a glare.

 

“What about you, Luhan?” Minseok asks, making Luhan nervous out of sudden. “What happened to you and the missing boy?”

 

Luhan thinks to himself. What happened to them?

 

“Struggling.” he speaks out. “We were struggling to be together.”

 

They all go silent.

 

“Everyone around him… didn’t want me. I was not good enough for him.” he offers a weak smile. “They wanted someone perfect for him. Someone with parents and wealth. Who can give his family another descendant.”

 

Chanyeol glances at his resting children for a moment. “That .” he mumbles sadly.

 

Luhan chuckles. “But he said none of them matters.”

 

‘I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters, hyung.’

 

=

 

“But oddly, though,” Luhan’s voice fades into a faint one as his eyes drift to the view outside the window, “I always knew that love was not enough.”

 

He doesn’t miss how Minseok envelopes Jongdae’s hand in his own.

 

“No matter how strong minded he was, he could not blatantly go against his family. Either he falls for their command of breaking us up, or he goes with cowardice and run away with me.” Luhan looks over his lap. “He chose the second option. He became a coward because of me.”

 

“He loves you, Luhan.” Jongin muses. “And I agree with him; sometimes that’s all that matters.”

 

Luhan gulps down the lump in his throat. “If I knew our love would ruin his life, I wouldn’t have dared to even glance at him.”

 

“I think,” Tao joins, “instead of ruining his life, you were giving him a new one? The one where he’s with his beloved, where he is loved for who he really is.”

 

That sounds too sweet and hopeful in his ears, but he smiles the guilt away.

 

“Hm,” Jongin’s voice gets their attention, “interesting.” he says as he scribbles down on his notebook.

 

“Man, now Luhan is a character in your novel.” Chanyeol sighs. “I swear writers see drama in everything.”

 

Jongin shrugs. “Love and pain make a perfect match.”

 

“Anyway,” Minseok turns at Luhan, “now that you’ve heard of our boring story, do you want to learn about theirs?” he points his thumb at the seat behind him.

 

Luhan peeks at them, and he sees two males sitting face to face, each of them has little boy beside them. A family of four. A happy and warm looking one while at it.

 

“You’re going to love them.” Jongdae stands up and gestures Luhan to do so. “They’re very nice and so lovely to talk to!”

 

He then walks towards the family with Jongdae and Jongin. However, before he gets to their seat, Luhan catches someone at the corner of the space, laying down on the seat next to the automatic door which leads to the next section. Long legs dangle on the edge of the chair. A coat covers the upper body of the man up to his face.

 

“What’s with him?” Luhan points out.

 

There’s a pause at first before Jongdae answers him with a meaningful smile.

 

“Let him be. He sleeps a lot to make his waiting feel shorter.”

 

=

 

True to Jongdae’s words, the couple is very lovely.

 

“We were so busy talking that we didn’t notice someone has arrived!” Joonmyun beams.

 

“These are our boys.” Yixing, the rather shy looking one, gestures at the little guys. “Suho and Cheonsa are twins.”

 

The kids greet Luhan with a bow.

 

“Such pretty kids.” Jongdae smiles warmly.

 

“Tell Minseok you want some.” Jongin whispers as he immediately scoots away before Jongdae can do anything to him.

 

Luhan watches as Joonmyun takes a hold of Yixing’s hand. “Yixing and Suho were already on the train, waiting for me and Cheonsa to arrive.”

 

“When he arrived, he was so confused.” Yixing laughs softly. “He kept asking, ‘honey, why are we here? Why were you and Suho here?’”

 

“Joonmyun was the first lost case before you, man.” Jongdae adds.

 

“But Cheonsa wasn’t confused at all. He helped his father understand.”

 

Luhan thinks over. “Understand… what?”

 

Yixing looks at his spouse. “That we all are finally united once again,” he shares a smile with Joonmyun, “and we are heading to somewhere good.”

 

It’s the vague answer again. “I still can’t understand why all of you are so calm about going to somewhere unclear. All you guys said was that it’s somewhere good. But what is it? What kind of place is it?”

 

The train comes to a halt. There’s the sound of the doors opening.

 

They all share a look.

 

“You’ll see-“

 

“HUANG ZITAO!!”

 

By that sudden voice, everyone sets their eyes on the man who has just finished climbing up the short stairs. The tall man is trying to catch his breath, but the excitement on his face is vivid.

 

Tao jumps off his seat with a loud thud. “WU YIFAN!!” he shrieks as he runs towards the tall man. “You dumb !! What took you so ing long?!?!”

 

Chanyeol and Joonmyun groan in annoyance over the choice of words.

 

“I’m sorry!!” the Yifan guy pulls Tao into a tight hug, raining pecks on Tao’s face. “I’m stupid, I’m an idiot, I’m so sorry!!”

 

“Stupid!” Tao tightens the embrace, sobbing. “I can’t believe I have to take care of your stupid for eternity!!”

 

A voice echoes at the back of Luhan’s mind.

 

‘I want to be with you for eternity, hyung.’

 

‘Do you want it too?’

 

=

 

“Do you know why we don’t waste time wondering where are we going?”

 

Luhan turns at Jongin.

 

“It’s that happiness.” Jongin’s eyes don’t leave Tao and Yifan, who are checking out each other’s condition. “As long as the one you wait for comes, it doesn’t matter where this train is heading to.”

 

The doors open once more, revealing a rather petite man climbing up the stairs. The man glances left and right before his eyes finally fall downwards on two children running towards him. “Oh God,” the man mouths, suddenly teary-eyed.

 

“Appa!!” the little girl shouts. The toddler behind her shouts randomly to her cue.

 

The man gets down on his knees to embrace both of the children tightly. “Appa is here.” he says in muffled voice. “Appa is here.”

 

“Look at that magic.” Jongin whispers. Luhan holds his breath.

 

Chanyeol steps into the scene slowly. “Baek,” he calls softly.

 

The man looks up, wiping his tears. “Yeol.”

 

Chanyeol kneels down behind his children, “Byun Baekhyun.”

 

Baekhyun grins widely, radiantly. “Yes, Park Chanyeol?”

 

A heavy, relieved sigh leaves Chanyeol’s mouth. “We’ve missed you.”

 

Then Chanyeol scoops up his toddler son and envelopes his little family into his arms, laughing while crying.

 

“If you already have that magic,” Jongin stares at Luhan, “you won’t care about where you are going to anymore. As long as you are reunited with your beloved once more.”

 

Luhan notices the melancholic look on Jongin’s face. “Aren’t you tired of waiting for that magic?”

 

“Psh, why would I?” Jongin smiles. “I’ve waited for my love for so many years. I can wait for a few stops.”

 

Luhan doesn’t understand, but he nods anyway. His eyes drift upon the sleeping man at the corner. “Jongdae said he sleeps a lot?”

 

“Yeah, to make the waiting shorter, he said.” Jongin also looks at the man. “He’s a tragic case as well. He was supposed to go with his lover, but something happened at the station and he ended up boarding alone. Couldn’t even leave some promises for his lover. They were just... separated like that.”

 

It sounds familiar in Luhan’s ears.

 

“The waiting is too long and painful for him,” Jongin adds, “he opted to sleep than to keep regretting their fate.”

 

=

 

“Hello there, last man!”

 

Luhan and Jongin turn around and find another man has joined them. The doors close and the train speeds up again.

 

“Are you looking for someone?” Minseok asks.

 

The man nods hesitatingly.

 

“I think we know who it is.” Tao grins, swiftly pointing at Jongin who is freezing on his spot.

 

True to Tao’s words, the man gasps in recognition.

 

“Jongin.” the man calls with his deep, velvety voice.

 

Jongin gives an awkward smile. “Kyungsoo hyung.”

 

Kyungsoo replies him with a wide, hearty smile as he strides towards him. “Now it’s me who took so long, huh?”

 

With that, Jongin chuckles; tears start to roll down his face. “Doesn’t matter.” he pulls Kyungsoo into his arms.

 

“I feel sincerely happy for him.” Tao is suddenly next to Luhan, accompanied by Yifan. “You should’ve read the novel he wrote. So heartbreaking. It says that he remembers all of the lifetimes they spent together, which ended in tragedy each time. In this lifetime, he remembers everything, which signals that this would be their last one. So the novel tells about him writing novels of each of their lifetimes. Like multiple universes. And he searches for Kyungsoo through the years. They met again in an event. But yeah, stuffs happened and he had to leave first.

 

Luhan still stares at the couple. “Do you believe it? The story.”

 

“What’s there to lose by believing something beautiful?” Tao muses. “So, are you ready to meet your lover?”

 

He blinks at Tao. “I guess?”

 

“Don’t you want to meet him now?”

 

“Of course, but… he’s not here yet, right?”

 

Jongdae sighs. “Excuse me.” he walks through to the corner of the section, towards the sleeping man.

 

Luhan gets back at Tao again. “What are you trying to tell me?”

 

“Luhan,” Tao grins, “you’re not the one waiting. You’re the one your lover is waiting for!”

 

He feels his heart sinking. “W-what?”

 

Yixing asks him to turn around, and after he does, he finds a man, looking painfully familiar. The man who was sleeping earlier is standing tall in front of him, staring back at him with so many mixed emotions swirling in his eyes.

 

“Hyung.” the man calls.

.

Luhan chokes on his own.

 

“Sehun.”

 

=

 

Sehun.

 

Sehun is here.

 

He finally meets Sehun again.

 

“Hyung,” Sehun calls hoarsely, “I’m sorry.”

 

Luhan, still dazed, walks until he stops right before Sehun. The last time he saw that face, it was full of tears and pain of betrayal. “No.” he whispers, shuddering. “I am sorry.”

 

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to run to you.’

 

“I love you.” Sehun pleads, hand searching for his. “I love you.”

 

Luhan makes sure to look at Sehun in the eyes. “I love you too.”

 

Sehun nods, tears falling as he smiles. “It’s enough for us, right?”

 

After years, so many years of blaming their love for the tragedy that has separated them, Luhan sets all his regret and misery to fly away, free from his chest.

 

“Yes, Sehun.” he smiles warmly. “It is.”

 

All of them cheer as Sehun wraps Luhan with his arms. Luhan laughs and laughs against Sehun’s chest. Jongin was right. No matter where they’re going, as long as they’re together, it won’t matter.

 

Because his place is wherever Sehun is.

 

Eventually Luhan feels warmth on his back, and he turns around to find a magic is happening outside the windows. They all stay silent to watch it unfolds, hand in hand with their beloved ones.

 

The sun is rising far at the end of the railway, accompanied by the trillions of stars. Warmth and joy are ready to welcome them once the train stops. It’s their final station.

 

It’s somewhere good.

 

 

[A/N]

This is, of course, based and heavily inspired by EXO’s Cosmic Railway :’)

Fun fact: I wrote this before the English translation of the song came out, and somehow the concept of this story fits the lyrics. I call it May’s 7^th Sense.