Yunhyeong's eyes darted everywhere before looking into the other's eyes. They looked smug making Yun fidget, his ears turning red. As he gazed, he noticed fear taking over Hanbin's eyes, his face turning pale—

Hanbin pulled Yun by his waist. Enveloped him into a tight embrace, like he would lose him if he let loose. 

Startled, Yun breathed, "Hanbin wha-" 

Hanbin replied weakly, "For a while..." 

Still hugging, Hanbin rolled onto his side. They were now side by side, entangled in each other. It's a surprise they didn't fall of the Sofa yet.

As much as Yun was flustered, he was worried about Hanbin.

They remained like that in silence. The tension was unreal. Their hearts were banging against their rib cages. And the wall clock ticking felt like a ticking time bomb. They heard their breathing heightened and uneven but slowly followed each other's rhythm till they were in sync. 

Yun cleared his throat. It had been a while. And god knows what would happen if they accidentally fell asleep only for Chanu to discover them in the morning to take advantage of. So Yun cleared his throat hinting to let go.

Hanbin groaned wearily, tightening his grasp of the other boy.

"Hanbin ah," Yun whispered, prying Hanbin's fingers off his waist.

"Why are you whispering," Hanbin couldn't suppress a small laugh, he found it funny.

Yun blushed, rolling his eyes, "alright, get up."

Hanbin simply looked at the other boy. Their faces were only inches away. He wanted to say something, his eyes looked like they were pleading to speak. He had so much to tell, about how much he loved the precious person in front of him but he wouldn't.

He had always been like that. He distances himself once he got too caught up in his feelings and behaves like nothing had happened between them. 

Yunhyeong was tired of it. He cared for the other boy and loved him so much. He knew that Hanbin loved him too but he wasn't sure anymore.

With Hanbin touchy with all the members, it was hard to tell. Yun couldn't help but feel jealous at times. Though with the both of them, they knew it was different, it still makes him question if Hanbin loved him.

It had been a year and Hanbin never once admitted his feelings even though his eyes betrayed him 101 times and still counting. He didn't confess even when Yun did.

That broke Yun, it shattered his heart to bits. It took him some time to get over it, purely with the will of hope.

Yun tolerated Hanbin being extremely clingy and playfully too close though they knew how they felt about eachother yet there was no progress. It always went back to square one; friends. Moreover, he couldn't bear to break the other boy's heart like his was broken.

Sadly, he was growing tired of it. His heart had been played enough. He was drained. There was no hope in them. He was hurt enough and had no energy left. But little did he know, he was also breaking Hanbin's heart.

---------------------------------------------

Hanbin's sad eyes carefully searched Yun's face. His finger tips grazed up his chiseled jaw, tucking the boy's messy hair behind his ear.

Yun felt his skin tickle and watched Hanbin's miserable eyes move restlessly. 

"Can I kiss you?" Hanbin's voice came out soft and chocked with emotions.

Yunhyeong was startled. He was exhausted, his heart was bone-tired. He was confused, his emotions were messed up, he felt utterly unfair.

Yun could not take it anymore, he couldn't keep getting his heart played. He felt a lump in his throat. He would rather have Hanbin ignore him than constantly give him hope only to leave him hanging. All of him hurt. He could feel hot tears forming.

"What the heck Hanbin...", he pulled away sitting up. The younger one followed suit.

Hanbin looked like he was about to cry. It was as if his nightmare was becoming reality. 

"Sorry", hanbin looked down, overwhelmed with guilt. In that fleeting moment he remembered the time he denied his feelings, rejecting Yun. He not only broke Yun's heart, he messed up his feelings. He broke his own heart too. He was the one to blame. He shuddered helplessly in anguish.

Watching Hanbin, Yunhyeong felt a searing pain in his chest. Suddenly he regretted it but couldn't think of anyway he could have reacted. 

"I'm sorry, " Hanbin fiddled with his fingers aimlessly. "I'm sorry hyung", his voice cracked. 

 Yun felt like he was walking on glass, his heart ached in torment. He hesitantly reached for Hanbin's chin and lifted it up slowly.

Looking at Hanbin's tears streaked face, Yun eyes welled up. His thumbs gently traced under the other boy's sunken eyes. He caressed his cheeks sorrowfully, willing him to look at him. His eyes were so sad, lost; like he completely lost in life. 

This is our first and our last Hanbinah.

Yunhyeong leaned forward, his skinny hands cupping Hanbin's face delicately. He moved in till his lips touched the other's soft ones. His lips burned at the touch, prickling his skin. His fingers trembled as he felt sadness seep in from the back of his head. The boy's lips felt fragile and blue and pink. His heart was pierced over and over. Catching his breath, his lips quivered into the kiss as his eyes stung with feverish tears. He knew this could be their last kiss. 

Filled with melancholy, Hanbin pressed back tenderly. A tear rolled down as he on the boy's bottom lip. Yun's slender fingers trembled on Hanbin's cheeks, they felt icy and frail to the touch as he melted into the kiss. I'm so sorry. Hanbin's heart seared with anguish at the kiss. Till I get better hyung... wait for me. 

It was a heartbroken kiss. 

Hanbin's lips brushed Yun's for one last time, before letting go. He watched Yun's red eyes flutter open. His face still hovering over the other, Hanbin placed his shaky hands at the back of Yun's neck. He straightened his back and slid his thumbs behind the boy's ears. With a stab in his chest, he pressed his lips against Yun's forehead, wait for me hyung.