I guess I’m going to do this huh?
God damn it, Baekhyun. I cannot believe he will do this to me. Like, I have some work to do! I was given by one of the crews the script or more like guide words that Baekhyun had for himself and this was just planning to flex himself the whole freaking speech. This is all about how mighty and successful he is because he Is smart and charismatic, what the ? I am not going to flex, alright?
Especially not in front of Do Kyungsoo. . .
One of the backstage staff then queued me to be ready in two minutes. The ceremony had already began about half an hour ago. I have never done a speech before but I think I will be okay. I was never a shy person, I just don’t like the fact that the man I love is watching down there with his whole family. I know the speech should be about my success and how to achieve it to help these young adults in their future but. . .
AM I EVEN REALLY SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?!
Here we go.
I was lead to the stage by the crew and I shook hands with the board members and the school executives before I was led to the spot where I’m supposed to stand up, everyone did their polite ovation and clapped their hands before they were signaled to sit back down. I put down the piece of paper I have down the speech desk before adjusting the microphone closer to my face. I glance over to them and as much as I didn’t intend to, I started searching for wherever Kyungsoo was. I spotted Soobin right away since she was literally waving at me from her seat Then. . . I finally spotted Kyungsoo with his parents at the back where other families were at too.
He was looking straight at me, I could see a bit of surprise on his face.
Then he smiled. A small distant smile that was intended for me. That got me very vulnerable. Before I could lose it again, I look away and down to my paper that I will never even use. , Baekhyun’s flexing. I’m not going to be guided by his ego. I take in a deep breath before moving closer to the microphone. “Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Han Iseul, daughter of Han Jaesuk, CEO of Gwanhan Group of companies. And I currently own L’automne Hotel and Resort. And. . . I used to be down there where you are right now, particularly there at the right-hand side, fourth row on the third seat from the aisle.” I pointed at my chair during my own graduation and the graduate who was sitting there got teasing and claps from his classmates. I smile in satisfaction because I knew began my speech comfortably.
“Anyway.” I clear my throat to signal them to stop teasing and whistling as I continue. “I’m going to be honest; I have never done a speech like this before. I think the only speeches I have done in my entire life were when I was awarded the valedictorian in my high school and Summa Laude here in this university.” I admit earning cheers from the students again. Damn it, I did not mean to flex I swear to god, I was just being honest. “B-but enough about that. . . because they told me to talk about success and I’m here to tell you what the real success is.” I continue making them all stop and quiet. “Uhm. . . as I said, I’ve gained all those awards and recognitions from such prestigious schools like this university, I have the wealth, comfort and everything I wanted ever since I was a child and I’d say. . . that was all my parents’ success, not mine.” I chuckle but as I finish my sentence, tears somehow formed on my eyes, I don’t know why.
I smile solemnly to myself as I look down. “And that’s what success was for me for the longest time until a very important chapter of my life changed everything, altered everything I believed in. I made this huge mistake and it was also because of wanting even more, more of this so-called success.” I look up while shrugging my shoulders. Now they were dead silent, listening to me. I glance over to Kyungsoo’s area and saw him having the same expression, looking straight at me. “I will not go into details anymore but. . . sometimes, the success we all know can make you selfish and forget reality, you continue to want more and more things that you end up hurting a lot of people who mean the most to you but most importantly, you can hurt yourself.” I look down again to give myself time to breathe or else I will just burst out of tears.
“After doing those things, hurting those people, causing pain to myself for so many times. . . I figured, maybe I was never successful in life. Not at all.” I continue and my voice have turned shaky. I clear my throat to hold back tears again. I chuckle again because that is all I can do to stop myself from actually crying. “I realized success is having people around you who can. . . w-who can make you feel like you can do anything. Having people whom you love and love you back. . . that’s the real success. I couldn’t have all of that growing up, I had my own family issues back then and. . . that gave me a lot of grudge towards people and towards myself that I obsessed over having everything; wealth, business, recognition and material things. That’s because I didn’t feel like I had anything at all. But later on, I found out that there were so many people who wanted to love me but I didn’t let them.” I laugh in a desperate way.
“I wanted to be loved so badly but I was very insecure at the same time that I could not even make myself believe that anyone could ever have the ability to love me so. . . I h-hurt them back instead of giving back the love that they’ve been trying to give, and back then I thought I was protecting myself. That was all before I knew the word success very well. And for the present Han Iseul, it’s too late now for some people. I mean, I was able to gain back some of them who wanted to love me for so long but there were also people who. . . are too late for me to love now. And that’s all my fault, never theirs. That’s the consequence I have to face. In life, you either be very cautious or be very risky. When it’s the right amount of caution and risk, you’re doing life the right way. It can be about your career, your everyday office outfit, the new business you’re thinking of starting, t