“Hey, did you hear what I just said?”
I feel a light tap on my arm that finally made me look up from my food. Baekhyun was looking at me with concern in his eyes. “W-what is it? Just got curious of this dish’s recipe so I was staring at it.” I make up a quick lie to cover-up my trance. “Oh, that’s okay. I was just talking about my little brother’s school. It just makes me proud, he’s so young and yet he’s already helping out in the company, he’s just like me. Sometimes, I feel like he hates it though and he’s just forced.” Baekhyun immediately repeated his story for me. I try my best to shake off all the thoughts on my head and focus on my food and to him. “Well, maybe he does hate it. He’s young, he probably wants to pursue something else. Not everyone needs to end up like us, Baekhyun. I-it’s not always a good thing.” I couldn’t help but to tell him.
Honestly, sometimes I wish I grew up differently.
And I only started feeling such things after realizing what a wonderful world out there away from all the busy, strict and business-related stuff I grew up within.
“Oh, he WILL end up like us, that’s for sure. You’ve met my mother, right?” Baekhyun laughed before taking a big bite of his food. I sigh and just randomly stab a meat on my plate. I wonder what Kyungsoo’s doing now. Is he still with her? What did he feel after seeing me earlier? Did he get mad when I left with Baekhyun? Is he wondering where I am right now or is he too busy welcoming Seul back? I worry about all these things. One more thing to worry about, IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN HIDE FROM THEM FOREVER. I will eventually meet her and would have to introduce myself. How do I do it? Do I tell her that I am someone special in Kyungsoo’s life? Or do I just tell her that I’m an employee?
Would it be weird to mark my non-existent territory like that?
“Sunbae, I have a question.” I clear my throat as I put my fork down. “Sure, go ahead. I’m listening.” Baekhyun nodded immediately before taking a sip on his drink. “If one of your ex-girlfriends needed help, would you help them even if you don’t have feelings for them anymore?” I ask while trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Baekhyun lifted an eyebrow as he adjusted himself on his chair. “Let’s see, uhm. . .” He sighed while thinking. I patiently wait while fiddling with my fingertips. “Well, personally. . . once it’s done for me, it’s done. X, I cross her out of my life. Especially if it was a bad break up or one of us messed up, there is no way I can do that. I mean, it’s not being bitter but I just think that’s how I move on. People call them Ex’s for a reason. I decide to stop caring completely. That’s just me though. Why?” He answered and asked.
Hmm. . . I don’t know if what he said helped me at all.
I think it just made my anxiety worse.
“Y-you think. . . most people would be like that?” I ask while scratching my head. “Probably. You never had an ex so I can’t blame you if you don’t understand how it feels.” He chuckles. “Have you ever helped an ex-girlfriend before then?” I can’t help but continue with this interrogation. I need to let this all out and clear my head, I feel like I’m going to explode soon. Baekhyun cracked his neck left and right while laughing uncomfortably. “I don’t know why you’re throwing these questions to me, it’s kind of awkward to talk about an ex, you know. Especially because, I obviously have feelings for you. Hm?” He declined to answer this time.
“N-no, I’m just curious. And I t-trust your opinion.” I mumble. It’s true though, Baekhyun is really straightforward. He can be dumb sometimes but he’s just lovesick for the most part, but most of his opinions have very valid points. “Well, I’m going to make it simple for you. I’ve only had one real ex-girlfriend and that was WAY before, during high school. So, I can’t—I really can’t answer your question, I’m sorry.” He replied and this time he looked sincere.
Ugh, I’m so frustrated.
“Okay okay. . .” I muffle and tap my forehead to convince myself to just shut up. What if. . . Kyungsoo still have a tinge of feelings for Seul that’s why he couldn’t say no to her? I’m terrified. “I-if talking about this particular ex. . . I don’t think I could help her.” Baekhyun suddenly spoke making me look up again. he smiled while looking at me. “But it’s not the same for everyone, I may be different or everyone’s situation is different so it’s hard to say.” He added. For some reasons. . . I feel like he knows what I’m worried about. And if he does, I’m surprised he’s giving me these honest opinions. “Different in what way?” I ask. He put his fork down and adjusted his tie while chuckling.
“I mean, in terms of history. If two people shared a very deep history or their relationship was really complicated and meaningful, when it ends. . . I think no matter how much you’ve moved on through the years, you can never forget all the good and bad emotions you’ve felt when you were in that relationship and that’s what makes it hard to. . . I guess, even look into that person’s eyes.”
My shoulders soften as I listen to his genuine advice. Well, not necessarily an advice but. . .
History. Do Kyungsoo and Lee Seul. I only know a quarter of their history and I don’t even know how they really lived their relationship back then so it’s so hard for me to tell. “Why are you even curious about these things, you’ve never been in a relationship before. You’re cute.” Baekhyun laughed while shaking his head. I fake a smile while looking away.
It was silent for a moment until he spoke once again. “Is that new girl someone significant to your boss?”
I look up rather quickly while shaking his head. “H-huh? What new girl? I don’t know, who’s that?” I immediately reply back. Baekhyun chuckled while rolling his head as if he can see right through me. . “I’m not dumb, Iseul. The employees were crowding over her in the lobby this afternoon as if they all knew her. Then I saw you peeking at them when they were at the camp, that’s why I approached you.” He caught me right on the act.
Why didn’t I even see this coming?
This is Byun Baekhyun, the dumb but clever tard.
“I-I wasn’t peeking at them, I was about to go out and eat, I even told you that.” I argue back. Baekhyun sighed and folded his arms. “I really really dislike that guy but at the same time, I hate it more to see you this bothered over something or someone. What is this doing to you?” He asked making me gulp. “Nothing.” I reply while rolling my eyes. “No, you need to tell me. Is he leading you on? Cause I’m going to ing kill him if he’s doing that. Like I’m not even joking? I’m going to get him murdered, like tonight.” He warned with that serious expression of his making me bite my bottom lip.
Oh god, please don’t add up to the problem.
“Oh, shut up.” I groan while running my fingers through my hair. “No, I am not going to shut up. Here I am, I’ve been chasing you for so many years and then there’s this guy who you obviously like and I don’t ing know what the two of you are right now but he’s always like. . . marking you whenever I try to make a move and then now he’s making you feel all sorts of worries like this because of this random girl who came today. Like what the is going on?” He interrogated, I could imagine smokes coming out of his ears right now. He looked really concerned which I actually appreciate.
“It’s not like that—oh god. But wait, you’re like acknowledging that I do like Kyungsoo and he might like me too, are you giving up?” I ask, a mischievous smile growing on my lips. “Did you hear what I just said? It’s only because I’m not dumb and no, I haven’t stopped chasing you. You like who ever the hell you want to like, I can’t control what you feel. I will only stop when you finally marry someone that’s not me. Until then, I ain’t stopping, nu-uh. Even if you do end up dating him or anyone, I am allowed to chase you, as long as you’re not married.” He straightforwardly replied while folding his arms.
Wow, this guy is something.
“So.” He tapped the table to get my attention once more.
“Were you asking these tricky questions because of this woman? I can call a hitman to murder her if you wan—”
“Jesus—stop with the killing already!”
I hiss while running my fingers through my hair. Baekhyun put both hands up to show defeat while nodding. “I just. . . ugh, I don’t know. And I cannot believe I’m opening up to you, you’re Byun Baekhyun and you’re like obsessed of me, of all people, seriously.” I muffle to myself not even caring if he can already hear it. I bury my face on my palms to hide my frustration that’s already showing on my face. “Wow, so I’m right? This woman is like. . . Kyungsoo’s ex-girlfriend? Am I right?” He asked, a judging laugh came out of him. I slowly peek at him while gulping.
What’s that supposed to mean?
“W-what’s funny? What are you t-thinking about?” I ask nervously as I adjust myself more properly on my seat. “Well, I’ve seen the woman up-close earlier when I passed by the lobby. Tch, Kyungsoo’s so out of her league. He must be good in something else, either the money or. . . I don’t know—bed? Ehh, doesn’t seem like it though. He looks lousy in everything.” Baekhyun snorted making me frown. “Yah!” I grunt making him flinch in surprise and hold his chest.
This guy will not stop from finding faults in Kyungsoo, gosh.
“Okay okay, back to the point. So. . . this woman is his ex, yes?” He asked more seriously this time as if we’re in a business meeting. I am quite surprised that he’s still helping me have a peace of mind despite that he dislikes Kyungsoo and basically hates the fact that I’m liking someone else. He must really care about me if he wants me to have a peace of mind, eh? “Yes.” I mumble while scratc