'I' thinks she understands human beings so well, judging by their expressions and body language. Concluding all by herself what the other thinks of her causing her to shrink to her cocoon, safe from the outside world. Though she may feel lonely, she thinks it's the norm everyone feels all the time. People close to her, whom she loved dearly 'poking' her cocoon, suffocating her of her life. Making her feel her life is not worth living and she's just a mistake. A scum.

"Nobody cared for my dream"

Those 5 words hit her hard more than she can ever imagine. She plucks up her courage to change her pathetic life. It is now or never.