“What are you doing?” Yoongi’s voice peered from the right, causing once focused eyes to regather and land upon the male, noting the annoyed features that took his expression. Namjoon shook his head as an answer, a soft sigh leaving his lips while recollecting his books and glancing towards the phone that remained blank for the day.

It wasn’t the first time he found himself waiting for a call or a text, his eyes falling towards the female who seemed to hold a strange power on him, and he couldn’t decipher if it was healthy or not. When Sang-Oh left, Namjoon’s world had demolished just as quickly as it was built, finding himself lost and wandering the halls most days, clueless on life outside of his relationship. That’s when she appeared, soft spoken and kind with a helping hand to lend, allowing him to vent out his frustrations to someone who wouldn’t criticize him for feeling so alone, Sang-Oh still being a part of his life. Yoongi didn’t get it, Seokjin didn’t get it, nor did Hoseok, but that man hardly got anything aside from nasty cold’s and bad allergies.

“Nothing” Namjoon muttered, annoyed by the lack of attention he was gathering from the girl who promised to listen when he needed, her eyes glancing within his direction before quickly avoiding him once more.

“Seems like your staring at Tzuyu” Yoongi countered, cocking his head towards the right as though pondering his own words, and Namjoon felt a bit of guilt run through his system.

Yet he shouldn’t feel guilty for he had done nothing wrong, he simply gained a new friend who could help him through the harder times of missing his once clinging girlfriend. He wasn’t attracted to her, and he wasn’t looking for anything more than an ear to speak with, and so the guilt was quickly replaced with irritation towards the elder male. Why was he being questioned in the first place? It wasn’t as though he didn’t pay attention to everyone else who surrounded him.

“What are you implying?” Namjoon asked after glaring at one another for several seconds, Yoongi’s shoulders shrugging as though his words weren’t threatening.

“If you hurt Sang-Oh, I’ll kill you.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Are you avoiding me on purpose or…?” Namjoon breathed out the moment his legs had caught up to her slow pace, making wide eyes turn towards him and a slight pink hue take towards her cheeks.

“I’m not avoiding you” she whispered softly, yet she couldn’t maintain eye contact which proved that she must have been guilty about something “it’s just that… you never texted me back this weekend to hang out, so I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“I was with Sang-Oh” Namjoon admitted “I didn’t have good reception there to be honest, so I didn’t receive the text until coming home” Namjoon lied, unsure of why he felt the need to do so, watching as Tzuyu nodded in understanding, though something still seemed off from her usual happy self. “Can we go tonight? I’m free…”

He appreciated the soft smile that claimed her lips after speaking of such things, a nod taking her head as she perked back to the female he became friends with. He felt horrible for hurting her feelings, and he had received the text messages before even arriving, however his attention lingered on one person at that time. Sang-Oh meant the world to him, had been his better half for as long as he could remember, having to fight Yoongi from her and then Hoseok, it was mystery how he ended up being at her side. It wasn’t though she made him fight hard, her attention always seemed to stay on him regardless of those who were around.

He remembered vividly how well Yoongi and Sang-Oh got along at the beginning of their friendship, how many times he would ask to hang out with her only to find she brought an attachment. Namjoon couldn’t be angry of course, for he never expressed his feelings towards the girl, putting him on the back burner during the first two years of high school. Yoongi wasn’t happy to say the least, but he always did smile when around the two, and even went as far as to congratulate them when making it to their one-year mark.

“Are you okay?” Tzuyu’s voice pulled him from his memories, a soft smile taking his lips as he nodded instead “good. I’ll see you after school. Should I call you?”

“Yeah” Namjoon breathed out, unable to match the smile in which she gave to him “I’ll see you then.”

~*~*~*~

He remembered at one point in time, he loved going to the theaters to watch the new horror film that managed to come about. He remembered that the pop corn smelt better, and the candy selection was much larger than the one occupying his vision at the current. Nothing had seemed to be the same, his eyes watching as several young couples held hands, their smiles being genuine while he was dumbfounded staring at candy that reminded him harshly that Sang-Oh wasn’t at his side.

“Namjoon” her voice pulled his attention, his finger selecting the first item that caught his eyes, a thing of jelly beans in which he hated, yet Sang-Oh always picked out for it was her favorite sweet. Sitting himself within the seat, his hand subconsciously reached to grab the hand that occupied his arm rest, stopping himself mid motion once realization had dawned on him.

“Sorry” he whispered, crossing his arms over his chest instead to keep his hand at bay from stealing the hand in which was always there for him to hold, her warmth no longer at his side to allow him to burrow through.

“You can hold my hand if you want…” The girl whispered, and he appreciated that his new friend understood his actions opposed to rejected him for his vulnerable state. Allowing his hand to interlace within her own, something felt off, it wasn’t as warm nor was it as fitting. It made his face sour, releasing the hand just as quickly as he grabbed it. It wasn’t the same, it never would be.

~*~*~*~

His legs carried him mindlessly as he stared towards the concrete, knowing the walk by heart for Tzuyu lived close to Sang-Oh, and the path home was similar. He knew every rock on the way, knew every scent and what store they belonged too, even going as far to say he could have walked blinded and still made it to her house. It wasn’t until passing the old house in which held so many memories, would he find his attention snapping back into place, his eyes slowly roaming towards the female at his side.

She looked upset yet was voiceless as she walked at his pace opposed to rushing him, obviously having thoughts to herself that wasn’t being shared. In a sense, Namjoon felt as though he were using his new friend, as though substituting what he had for something that will never be the same, yet it was enough to keep him from losing his mind further. He was being wrong by her, yet he still couldn’t manage to apologize to the innocent female, nor could he find it in himself to let her go.

“Why do you stick around me?” He finally found the courage to ask the question that plagued his mind of horrible thoughts and accusations, pondering what she had to benefit from this friendship where he only seemed to gain anything within. Her eyes quickly glanced within his direction, as though being pulled by whatever captivated her attention before, a soft smile taking her lips.

“You’re a nice guy, and a good friend” she mumbled softly with a shrug of her shoulders “and I know one day when I need you to be there, you’ll be there” she whispered the last part, and that same guilt feeling of earlier today was slowly nagging at him, but this time he couldn’t decipher if it belonged there or not. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, get home safely” she whispered before venturing up the large drive way, leaving Namjoon to stare in her wake, pondering so many unanswered questions.

“You should really stay away from her” Yoongi’s voice made him jump out of his skin, his eyes quickly scolding the elder man for rudely scaring him in such a way.

“You stalking me now?” Namjoon asked, feeling the guilt become two times stronger, and perhaps Yoongi was right, maybe he should stay away from the girl before someone ended up getting hurt.

“Do you have something to be ashamed of?” Yoongi asked instead, a dark voided chuckle leaving his lips when silence was answered opposed to a verbal response. “You’re something else Kim Namjoon. You really are.”

Namjoon found himself pegged frozen, his eyes lingering from the phone in which held four missed calls, not needing to check them to know who they were from. He missed their call time, the twenty minutes a day that she was granted to spend on the phone with him opposed to watching pointless television within the house. He knew he couldn’t call her back, he could only offer a message that couldn’t defend how truly guilty he felt for missing the calls.

She gave her free time to give it to him, and he repaid that kindness with ignoring her calls with another girl. Of course, he didn’t mean for it to happen, he had planned it out enough so that he would be home by the time she called, but ice cream and small chatter threw off his time chart, making him over an hour late to arriving at his house. Normally, she’d be the one to be at his side, his phone never going off unless his mother was scolding him about his messy room. Funny how the device became so important in his life, yet he still somehow managed to miss his chance.

‘I’m sorry baby, have a goodnight, talk to you tomorrow…’