He was nervous while walking towards the front porch, his hands nestled tightly within the denim fabric of his jeans, his eyes staying locked on the snow-covered yard opposed to the actual door. He could feel his heart beat increasing with every new step he took forward, could almost see the door being slammed in his face upon it opening. He expected to be yelled at, expected to see the look of hatred, and yet his fist knocked on the white metal door, and he soon found himself waiting for an answer.

Every second that passed felt like hours within his mind before the door clicked, indicating that it had been unlocked. He held his breath when seeing the door knob turning from the other end, not knowing who was going to show up on the other side of the door. Surely, the entire house knew of his wrong doings, and they would judge him quickly for it, considering he broke Lee’s only daughters heart.

“Namjoon?” Her voice, it sent shivers down his spine and tears formed at his eyes before he had the chance to register her appearance. God did he miss just how sweet her voice sounded when stating his name, how he wished he didn’t take such a beautiful sound for granted, how he wished that he didn’t lose it. “What brings you here? It’s cold, you’ll get sick…”

“You forgot this at my house” it was a lame excuse to ride a bus for three hours, but the truth was that he wished to see her beautiful smile, but he couldn’t even bring his eyes to glance within her direction to see the look of hatred she probably wore. “I figured you needed it…” No, he needed her, and this visit was completely selfish on his end, but he couldn’t admit that to her, considering it’ll only hurt her more.

“You want to come in? I can make hot chocolate?” She asked and his heart that was crumbling finally broke into a thousand-sharp edged shared, tearing him from the inside out. He was suffocating, dying from the inside out and the only girl who could fix it, would never be able to look at him the same way.

“No… I can’t…” Namjoon admitted, knowing that if he walked into her warmth, he’d never allow himself to leave it.

“Yes, you can, and you’re freezing, so come get hot chocolate” Sang spoke and for a second Namjoon felt alive again when her hand grabbed his own and pulled him into the comfort of her home, his eyes staying locked on the flesh that touched him. Sang didn’t understand what it meant to him, to have even the slightest contact of her skin against him, or how much his heart ached to hold her closer, to embrace her just once more.

She’d never understand, because he never proved it to her.

~*~ Sang’s POV ~*~

It was silent within the well-lit living room, her eyes casted down along her own cup of steaming liquids opposed to the eyes that seemed to follow her. She knew he came with intentions of only seeing her, considering the small key chain he brought to her was of his own, and not hers, and it made things so much worse. She couldn’t feel the same way she once did, he ruined that when he decided to touch someone else, but that didn’t mean that she grew numb to how much she honestly and truly cared about him.

“Can we be friends?” Namjoon finally broke the awkward silence, her eyes peeling away to glance towards the other, this time his eyes glued onto his own mug that hadn’t been touched since she handed it to him. “You don’t have to see me, and I won’t come here again… But can I text you once a week?”

“Namjoon…”

“I can’t erase you from my life Sang-Oh, I built my future around you and I’m drowning without knowing you’re at least okay. Can’t you just text me ‘hi’ or something every once and a while?” Namjoon sounded hurt, his confidence thrown out the window and it almost seemed as though he were begging for an uncomplicated text message. It crushed her, and it hit somewhere that it shouldn’t have, her heart broke for him a second time.

“Why did you do it?” She had to know the reason he felt the need to go to someone else, she needed to understand why she wasn’t enough for him, why he couldn’t trust her enough to explain his needs.

“I don’t have an excuse good enough, I was just lonely without you and I distracted myself from missing you.” Namjoon answered, and he seemed to be honest with his answer.

“How many times?” Sang wished that she didn’t ask, for she wasn’t even sure if she was ready to hear the answer he may provide, how many times her missed phone-calls was because he was touching another woman.

“Just once… I only touched her once” Namjoon admitted, and she could see his hands were beginning to shake, considering the hot liquids were splashing around the cup and making its way towards the carpet instead.

“Only once?” Sang questioned with narrowed eyes, bringing his eyes to connect with her own, and for a minute she could have almost forgave him when noticing the silent tears that were falling from his beautiful eyes.

“I hung out with her a lot, but I only touched her once” Namjoon admitted “and if I could erase ever meeting her for a chance to see you just smile at me again, I would. I’d do anything to take it away. I’m so sorry, I’m so sincerely sorry” Namjoon’s voice turned into whispers as his tears became solid streams, his hands shaking so bad that the cup was nearly empty of it’s contents.

Standing herself up and kneeling before the male, her hands would slowly reach for the cup, sliding it from his hold, watching as his fingers curled into fist. Taking his shaking hands into her own, a soft breath would escape her lips as she stared towards the floor, knowing that what she was about to say wasn’t entirely what he wanted to hear, but it had to be spoken. Biting into her bottom lip, she would part her lips to speak but would pause, as though pondering how to properly explain to him how she felt.

“We can’t erase things… That’s impossible… but we can forgive them” she began softly, running her thumb along his palm and trying to sooth out his pain, for it hurt to see him so upset, she still cared deeply for him after all. “I can’t love you the same way again” she admitted, for not only did he destroy her trust for him, but she found someone else who is able to make her smile again, someone she generally enjoyed being with, and someone who makes her heart melt with just a smile “but I can be your friend…”

“That’s all I’m asking for you… I miss you” Namjoon spoke, his body calming from the shakes to the point where he withdrew his hand from her own, and he was about to speak once more, that was until the front door swung open and made both of their attention turn towards a very fired up Jungkook.

(( Sorry this one fell short, but it was the best way to end the chapter. I wanted to add more, but then it would have been painfully long. Also, sorry about the delay in getting things updated. Been working a busy schedule and I was exhausted. Thank you all to those who have upvoted, and those who have subscribed, it sincerely means a lot to me. Thank you so so much! ))