1. really don’t know how and where to start for words aren’t enough to describe how being loved by Youngbae feels like. Being friends for over a decade would be enough to say who Youngbae is, what kind of friend he is, what kind of hyung he is, a brother and a lover. But no. Youngbae is unpredictable. No one can foretell what’s on his mind unless he says it blantly- not even him, a best friend over a decade and a lover for two years.

But I, Kwon Jiyong can tell you how lucky I am for having him. As a friend and as a lover.

I still remember when I first made up my mind to pursue Youngbae and take our relationship into new heights. Of course it isn’t easy. It is suffocating and nerve-wracking when I confess the first time over a candle lit dinner at his favorite restaurant with no one else but the two of us. The place looks romantic and I intend it to be hoping my best friend could sense my sincerity but no. He said nothing about my confession but talks a lot about how the food is great and how much have I cost in reserving the whole damn place. So in the end, all I got is a sweet smile acknowledging my confession and an overly active racing heart.

The second confession happened during the bigbang’s concert while we were waiting for our turn to perform. We were sitting next to each other, our shoulder grazing.

Bae, Im going to pursue you whether you like it or not. Im gonna swoop you off your feet until you ing believe me when I tell you I love you coz I really do.

He simply looked at me with that signature eye smile of his looking so damn cute, innocent and y and hot at the same time. And for as long as I know, Youngbae knows the effect of his smile on me.

Don’t do this to me Youngbae.

Do what Ji?

This. You, smiling like that. Do you really want me dead right now?

Putting my hands over my chest trying to stop the whirlwind movement of my heart for that simple smile. The effect of Dong Youngbae, Im one hell of a crazy fanboy after all.

Looking at Youngbae laughing loudly at his antics, Jiyong took his hand into his and mold their fingers together loving the way they fit perfectly like a puzzle piece and he did the only thing that he had been hoping to do since his realization that he is in love with his best friend.

Yah! You’re a cheater.

I’ll do better next time I promise. A gentle kiss on Youngbae’s cheek is the last thing Jiyong did, sending his best friend a gummy smile right after the kiss before they were ushered to perform on the stage.