Wendy thought she felt the girl stir but she decided to finish listening to this rap first. Eminem’s Not Afraid, one of her favourites. Then she heard the soft voice that called for her, the voice that had managed to reach her even though she had been focusing so intently on those lyrics. Her eyes opened slowly, lazily as she turned to the girl who had just woken.  

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just letting you know that, you’re not alone

Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road

The rapper let the last verse echo in her mind for a while before she took off her earpiece and replied Joohyun with a slightly slanted smile, “you slept so well, I thought you could use another one and a half hours of nap so I did not wake you. Sorry, my bad.”

She saw Joohyun gulp a little before and reckoned that it must have been because she was now Wendy. Joohyun took a long look at her before she opened to speak, “it’s okay. It was a really good rest and I think my headache is completely gone. What time is it now, Wendy?”

“That is good. It is 9.32pm, no 9.33pm now,” Wendy said, the slanted smile on her face stretched wider as the girl scooted over to verify the time for herself from the clock on her desk, Joohyun was less timid with her than in the club the day before. This was good, because that meant that she took to her being Wendy well enough.   

“What were you listening to, Wendy?” Joohyun asked and tried to peer over cutely, trying to get a glimpse from her iPod. That made Wendy chuckle a little and she showed the screen to the girl.

A flash of recognition was reflected on Joohyun’s face and that made Wendy chuckle once more. “Knew you would like it too, shall I blast it out loud for us?”

Joohyun nodded, her air of the President completely disappeared. Perhaps this was Joohyun’s other side too, to go gaga over good rap songs. Wendy then strode over to her fan’s side and sat on the floor, right in front of where her fan was, since Joohyun was still on the bed. They were so close, Wendy knew, but she liked it. No matter whether she was Seungwan or Wendy, she realised that she liked being close to Joohyun.

Her fan must have felt the same now because she inched closer to Wendy moments later. Joohyun’s body rocked easily to the rhythm of the rap from start till the end of the music. One rap song then turned into a long chain of others until Wendy decided that it should be time for her to leave and for Joohyun to study. It was 10.03pm.

“You must want to study already, I’d better leave,” Wendy said as she got up and stretched a little.

Surprised, Joohyun then look at the clock face and then back at Wendy.

“It is late. How are you planning to get home?”

Wendy gave her fan a wintry smile and saw Joohyun’s realisation. The bike. Why is this fan so smart?

“Take a bus instead, it is dangerous,” Joohyun urged gently, like a concerned mother.

Wendy gave no response nor contemplated that suggestion. She was never fond of taking buses, those overly time-consuming rides usually made her mind run wild with dark thoughts.

Then in a much more unsure voice, Joohyun suggested again, “o-or get your boyfriend to fetch you.”

Boyfriend? Wendy’s brows twitched at the sound of it. She leant her face closer to Joohyun’s and the girl was taken aback. Seeing her fan swallow in nervousness pleased her and Wendy snickered teasingly.

“He’s not my boyfriend and will never be,” Wendy stated with a lingering smirk on her face. Brushing away a lock of hair from Joohyun’s hair, Wendy then straightened up again before regarding the girl from a distance.  

Joohyun’s face was turning red and seemed flustered, so much so that she was gripping onto the sheets. So… unlike our Lady President… Like the day before, Wendy placed a hand over her fan’s fumbling hands.

Then on a more serious note, Wendy said, “you don’t have to worry, I will be fine. No reckless riding today, I promise.”

The President wondered if she should have suggested for the girl to stay but she was not certain how Wendy would take to it. Joohyun found it absurd because she had never been troubled by such questions in her entire life before. She began to realise that Seungwan and Wendy was beginning to have a profound effect on her life. It was a delayed realisation but still… at least she was beginning to recognise her feelings. It became apparent when she felt exceptionally happy when the rapper had said that the male by the name of Chanyeol was not her boyfriend.

Everything about the geeky student and the cool rapper made her curious. No matter how much she had learnt about the girl, she still wanted to find more, it was like an insatiable thirst.

However, a part of Joohyun was afraid too. This was a taboo… not only has Joohyun never considered about a relationship, she had never even thought about exploring a relationship with a girl… and besides… Seungwan or Wendy’s divide to her life was exciting but it was undoubtedly dangerous at the same time.

Whatever it was, Joohyun decided to whip her thoughts away from such foreign issues and turned her attention back to studying for her quiz instead.

“Seungwan, where have you been?” Seungwan’s mother, Mrs Son asked worriedly and tailed her daughter wherever she went, from the porch, up the stairs, and outside her room, until she got her answer.

“In school the entire time, mom, remember our promise?” Seungwan reminded, tiredness evident in her voice. “In case you don’t then let me remind you. Don’t into my business and I promise I won’t end the same way Jessica did.”

Those words shook her mother’s emotions and it was apparent in Mrs Son’s eyes. Did Seungwan feel sorry about reminding her mother about her dead sister? She might have if she was not feeling so weary.

“Come on, don’t look so shaken up. I was merely being straight forward. Just leave me alone and I will be finer than you think,” Seungwan said again.

Usually Mrs Son would have relented but she did not do so this time as she spun her daughter harshly around to face her.

Seungwan bit down hard on her lips to hide the aching throb that began in her left chest.

“I know you did not fall down the stairs, don’t think of your mother as a stupid woman, Seungwan. Jessica she…” Mrs Son almost choked on her tears at the mentioning of her deceased eldest’s name, “she got into a lot of accidents before her suicide too. Don’t you think I cannot see the pattern, I’ve been reading up, Seungwan. Please, just go see a doctor, you’re sick, Seungwan,”

Seungwan sighed exasperatedly and looked into her mother’s eyes, softly this time round. “I am really fine mom. Stop worrying. I am a rational person, fortunately, like father.”

The emphasis on the last word left an acrid taste in . She still did not feel too apologetic about bringing up her mother’s pain but she did not want to further trigger her poor mother anymore.

It was all their faults that they have failed to recognise Jessica’s symptoms earlier. Her sister’s manic mood occurred frequently in the night where she would hide in her room and start writing up whatever song lyrics she could come up with. Then she would become the mellowest person by day, abidin