Playlist here

After checking to make sure no one was around to see her, Jandi flopped down on a couch, limbs sprawled ungracefully all over, and closed her eyes. No wonder the Empress Dowager looked so tired. One afternoon with Emperor Baekhyun had completely wiped her out, and Jandi had years of experience taking care of her three younger siblings.

He’s a monster, she thought weakly. Is he hiding a battery pack somewhere inside that little body? How does he have so much energy?

Luckily, the Empress Dowager and Kyungsoo had finished their conversation by dinnertime, and the emperor was quickly bundled off to bed, complaining and begging for sweets after dinner all while rubbing his eyes and yawning. Peace and quiet, finally. For a few seconds longer, Jandi indulged herself in laying on the couch like a starfish before she sat up. The television was still on, abandoned by her husband, who was taking a phone call in the study from one of his campaign sponsors.

“Good news for fans of young Cabinet hopeful Do Kyungsoo, who forecasters say has been pulling up his numbers in recent polls,” a reporter said on the television. “From ranking close to last, Do has now climbed to a position in the middle of the pack. Experts say this may be the result of the public reaction to Do’s recent marriage to a Geumdo villager. The young couple was photographed stealing a kiss in the imperial gardens yesterday morning, and the image has gone viral as a romantic exception to the recent fraud marriage trend.”

A photo of Kyungsoo and Jandi, entangled in a surprisingly convincing embrace in the garden, flashed on screen with the caption, “Unlikely love story for young politician.” Jandi felt her cheeks burning. Of course, Kyungsoo chose that exact moment to return from his phone call. He stopped suddenly, staring at the television with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.

“Ah,” he said, keeping his gaze locked pointedly on the screen and not on Jandi. “It appears our walk yesterday was quite… successful.”

“Yes.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. Is he blushing? “I never got to apologize for that, actually. I meant to give you a warning, but I totally forgot.”

The memory of his mouth, soft and warm on hers in the grove of flowers and fruit trees, made her cheeks burn. Jandi cleared . “No worries. I’m glad your ranking in the polls went up.”

“Yeah.” Silence. “I’m - I just remembered I have to take another call,” Kyungsoo said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder and offering a weak grin.

“Oh! Oh, of course, I don’t want to distract you from your work. Go ahead.” Jandi waved her hand, flustered.

“Yeah, I’ll go do that.” Her husband shuffled backward. “Good night, Jandi.”

“Good night.”

The moment he left, Jandi flopped back into starfish position, this time burying her face into the couch cushions. Why am I like this?

***

That night, Jandi dreamt of running wild and free in the countryside again. Like the last time, the grass stretched on farther than she could see, and the same inexplicable joy filled her as her legs pumped, propelling her forward. But this time, right before she woke up, she spotted something off in the distance; it was the Do kennels, all mangled iron and bristling fur, and as she kept running, unease filling her veins, she got the distinct feeling that the wolves within were howling at her, begging her to release them, asking why won’t you save us, too? because they were already half-mad with the desire, the want to run free just like her, freer than the wind in the grass of the rolling hills of the countryside.

She jerked awake to someone knocking on the door.

“Jandi?”

Clambering out of bed, she opened the door. Nobody there. What’s happening? She stuck her head out and scanned the empty hallway. Someone knocked again, but the sound was coming from the wall between her room and Kyungsoo’s. She ducked back into her room.

“Jandi, there’s a door joining our rooms behind your mirror,” Kyungsoo’s voice whispered. “Open up.”

Feeling around the mirror and finding a hidden door knob, Jandi pulled the door open to face her husband. Still disoriented and sweaty from her dream, she rubbed her eyes. “Kyungsoo? What are you doing here? What - Why didn’t I know about this door before?”

“Shh. Let me in.” He half-shoved past her, closing the door behind him quietly. The smell clinging to his clothes was earthy, like he had been out in the woods after it rained. “I found Hyemin.”

“What?” Jandi was wide awake now. “Where is she? How is she? How did you find her?”

“No, Jandi.” Her husband’s voice was soft, pitying. “She’s not alive. We found her body in the forest.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. We buried her, but it’s not safe to bring you to her grave."

Jandi’s head was spinning. She d in the dark for her bed and, unable to find that, collapsed to her knees on the ground. Dead? Dead! A thirteen-year-old girl is dead because of me, because of my mistakes, my nosiness. I’m the reason she’s dead!

“Jandi.” Clothes rustled in the dark as Kyungsoo sat down next to her. “Jandi, she knew what would happen the moment she tried to save you. The entire serving staff knows what happens when you anger my father. She chose -”

“No!” The tears were dripping down her cheeks, along the side of her nose faster than she could control them. “No, that’s not fair! She didn’t have a choice, she was murdered because she tried to protect me from the consequences of my own mistake! She was only thirteen years old, Kyungsoo! Thirteen!”

“I know.”

“It’s my fault,” Jandi said thickly. “She’s dead because of me.”

Kyungsoo’s arms, warm and strong, wrapped around her, bringing her head to his chest. “I know. I know.”

In that moment, his acknowledgement of her pain and his refusal to sugarcoat her role in bringing about Hyemin’s premature death felt like the only things in the world that were truth and brazen honesty. And for the next hour as Jandi wept, mourning the loss of two young girls’ innocence, her stranger of a husband held the pieces of her together in his