1/1

little by little

At the mere age of 21, Jeongguk experiences his very first- but not the last sadly- existential crisis in his life.

“Dude it’s just coco crunch or honey stars, why the are you taking a whole century to decide?” Jimin grumbles.

Jeongguk gasps so dramatically at the intrusive, offensive voice and nearly drops his wallet in shock.

“It’s not just coco crunch or honey stars, I can’t believe the disrespect-”

But Jimin’s far away from listening, already slamming his hand against a random slot on the vending machine and Jeongguk drops his wallet for real this time.

“What the did you just do!”

“Shut the hell up, I know I’m RA for the block, but that doesn’t mean you can abuse my authority to get your snacks after curfew time. I’m supposed to be doing my rounds, not babysitting a five-year-old that can’t even decide on cereal.”

“Cereal? How dare you- I am deeply offended-”

“Good, stay that way. Now are you done? I have more important things to do,” Jimin grumbles, tossing the disposed snack against his chest.

“Pocky? What even is Pocky? You could have chosen something better! What if I’m allergic to this?” he cries, but still picks up the packet from where it’s bounced off his chest onto the floor.

“You’ll survive,” is all Jimin says before walking off, earning a swearing Jeongguk trailing behind him in a rush.

True to Jimin’s words, Jeongguk actually manages to survive his first existential crisis, while gaining a newfound addiction to pocky and he guesses if they were all like this, then he wouldn’t have much trouble tiding over them eventually.

Except, he miscalculates that one crisis he’s been trying to avoid his whole teenage life, and it hits harder and sooner than he’s expected and prepared for.

At the age of 21, Jeongguk drops straight into a cliché he never would have imagined himself in: falling for your best friend.

>

“Was that Chaeyoung?” he asks, just as Jimin gets off the phone.

“Yeah, the idiot got locked out of her room,” he scoffs, hands searching around his messy table for his keys.

Jeongguk snorts, chuckling. “Leave her. She can sleep outside for one night.”

“She’s only in her towel!” Jimin argues, laughing, but Jeongguk can tell he’s actually considering the suggestion.

He grins, intent on making it his goal to goad him on. “That’s just the icing on top of the cake, isn’t it?”

He hears Jimin laugh louder in response, though his eyes don’t leave the table until they’re glimmering with delight when he finally locates his key, snatching them up with a noise of victory.

“I feel bad for Chae,” he shakes his head as he turns around. “You literally are the worst best friend ever,” he jokes, stepping aside to check himself in the mirror briefly.

Jeongguk doesn’t know if his smile falters at the use of her nickname or the way Jimin’s paying more attention to his hair than he should.

“I’ll be back soon,” Jimin whistles, twirling his keys around his fingers.

He’s halfway out the door when Jeongguk decides to spring up from where he’s lying on the bed, calling his name out in a rush.

“Hyung!”

Jimin stops and sticks his head back in. “What?”

But he doesn’t reply, only grabs his phone off the table before striding towards the door. Jimin’s brows shoot up his forehead in a perfect arch.

“You’re coming along?”

He snorts. “Yeah, I need new blackmail pics anyway.”

He tries not to fidget under his hyung’s doubtful gaze, nearly sighing in relief when Jimin decides to turn back around after a slow second of silence.

“Whatever floats your boat, man.”

“What took you so ing long?” is the first thing Jeongguk hears when they finally make it down to her floor.

Chaeyoung, true to Jimin’s words, is standing only in her pink towel, bare shoulders exposed as her wet hair continues to drip like an open tap onto the floor.

He should be whipping out his phone anytime now, but instead he finds himself struggling not to gulp at the sight.

“Couldn’t find my keys,” Jimin replies casually, before brushing past her shivering figure to her door.

“The are you doing here?” she announces in surprise when she sees him trailing behind Jimin, and he rolls his eyes because Chaeyoung’s still as rude as ever, fully clothed or not.

He doesn’t know why his brain makes that specific comparison, since he’s totally not interested in whatever she’s hiding under her towel anyway and- oh my god, just shut up already Jeongguk, he scolds in his head.

“Came to see my best friend,” he manages and hopes his face doesn’t look too strained.

Chaeyoung rolls her eyes, but she’s way too ing cold to start a fight with him now, especially when she’s disadvantaged by the damp towel hanging from her chest, choosing to vent her frustration elsewhere. “Hurry the up Jimin!”

“Patience is a virtue,” Jimin mumbles, still fiddling with the keys and it doesn’t help that they stay in one of the older dorms, so their lock sensors are way less sensitive than the ones in the newer buildings, which means on unlucky days, days just like this one, you could spend ten minutes trying to get your ing door to open.

“Not when I’m about to freeze my off out here!” She yells as she feels another breeze hit her shoulders, when suddenly something gets thrown onto her face.

“The hell-”

“Wear it for now,” Jeongguk mutters, looking everywhere else but her and it’s then she realizes, that it’s his sweater on her head. She also realizes this means he’s got to be topless, because Jeon Jeongguk never wears more than a single layer except in winter.

It’s spring now, but she suddenly feels as hot as summer.

It shouldn’t make her blush, looking at his bare upper half because it’s not the first time she’s seeing him without clothes, heck she’s even seen Jimin just in a towel before and she’d laughed so painfully hard when he slipped, and his towel nearly fell. So it doesn’t make any sense that her cheeks her heating, until she steals a quick glance at Jeongguk who’s sort of pulled his arms over his chest shyly and nearly swallows. Chaeyoung knows he works out on a regular basis, but she didn’t know he practically lived in the gym. She averts her eyes quickly when she sees him steal a glance in her direction, the question of when her best friend had gotten so attractive lingering unanswered in her mind.  

She’s just managed to get one of the sleeves through when the familiar tune sounds, which means Jimin had finally managed to unlock the door.

The sweater hangs haphazardly off her shoulder, but she can’t be bothered to fiddle with it, brushing past the two guys with a soft thanks, before slamming her door shut.

“Well that was polite,” Jimin grumbles, turning around then reeling back in shock when he sees how Jeongguk’s missing a shirt.

“Why the hell are you topless?” he accuses, frowning disapprovingly while Jeongguk merely scurries away in a rush to hide his own flushed cheeks. He forgets to take his pictures.

>

It’s no mystery that Chaeyoung’s been attractive her whole life, even when he’d first met her at 16, he’d immediately thought she was one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen.

But things had stayed strictly platonic between them for the longest amount of time, and he’d gotten so used to the notion of Chaeyoung being his attractive best friend he couldn’t see how there was a possibility of them ending up in a relationship, despite what their other friends always said.

He doesn’t know why that should change right now, especially after seeing her just in a towel, because it wouldn’t have made any sense. Sure, he was a hormonal, active young man, but if that was the sole reason then he shouldn’t be as worried as he is currently.

He’s about to launch into a whole other exploration of reasons when the sound of the blankets shifting catches his ear.

He turns over and reaches to flip on his nightlight, only to see Jimin freeze in the midst of crawling out of his bed sneakily.

“Where are you going?” he questions, eyeing his hyung suspiciously.

Jimin having been caught, decides to just do things the normal way, reaching for his keys noisily the minute he pulls on his pants.

“Uhh, someone got locked out.”

Jeongguk straightens up slightly. “Is it Chaeyoung again?”

Jimin surprisingly blushes when he replies. “It’s her neighbor.”

“Jennie?” he squeezes out the name after digging through his memories quickly.

At that, Jimin clears his throat more awkwardly than Jeongguk’s ever seen and he means it in all sincerity, because he’s been a firsthand witness to Jimin’s calefare debut in one of the plays back in highschool and that was in itself a whole new level of awkward acting already.

“Yeah, that’s her, I think.”

Jeongguk merely gives him an assuming stare and Jimin’s bolting out of there immediately, not another word exchanged.

It comes to him later when he goes back to lying in bed, that he doesn’t know why he felt strangely relieved.

>

Chaeyoung tends to eat as if there’s a shortage of food, silently chewing and swallowing as the world flies by around her and Jeongguk always admired that side of her that fully immerses herself in her food, so the rest of the noise in the universe doesn’t bother her for a while.

It’s therapeutic, she once told him.

He wants to ask what kind of things make her so sad she needs to isolate herself through eating.

She picks up another piece of meat and it lands straight in , but he only gets a fraction’s worth glimpse of her teeth, closing shut immediately once she starts to chew.

He makes a whole theory about it inside his head, but he thinks the fictionality of it doesn’t escape completely from being close to the truth. It’s some kind of resistance mechanism, he deduces, a fear of opening up fully to anyone and it hurts his heart to think that she considers him one of them.

He wants to know if he can do anything about it, chase her demons away so that she opens up just enough to let him inside and be a part of her world.

The question is sitting on his tongue, itching to be let out, but what he hears when his lips part instead is:

“Is it good?”

She looks up from where she’s poking around at her vegetables and smiles at him, nodding.

“It’s delicious.”

She doesn’t offer some of it to him and he doesn’t ask, afraid to cross boundaries he can never get back from.

But as a cheeky smile meets his eyes and she leans in to steal some of his iced coffee from his straw, Jeongguk’s no longer sure if ambiguity after all would remain the best way to go.

>

“Jeongguk!”

He doesn’t know why his heart pounds twice as fast at the sound of her calling his name.

Chaeyoung’s lips move animatedly as he watches, but he doesn’t hear a single word over the gushing of oxygenated blood pumping it’s way around his ears.

So his best response when she taps him impatiently on the shoulder for an answer is: “Huh?”

She frowns in irritation, but all he’s thinking about is how he would like to rub a thumb between the crease of her skin so it smoothens out nicely.

“Were you even listening?”

“No, I mean- y-yeah, what’s up?”

She rolls her eyes, but eventually repeats herself for his sake. “I have band practice tonight, so I can’t join you and Jimin for movies later.”

This shouldn’t be anything to him, after all they were just best friends, but as he drags out a simple okay, he cannot understand the bubbling irritation he feels stirring at the bottom of his gut.

“Okay, catch you tomorrow if you’re free!” she tells him, running off quickly before he gets the chance to say goodbye.

He doesn’t dwell on that for long, head too busy swimming with the reasons of his unexplained irritation. He turns around without another glance in her direction and misses the appearance of another figure at the end of hallway, handing her a guitar case over with a gentle smile.

>

Chaeyoung gets a boyfriend a week after her performance at the school’s cultural night.

Park Chanyeol, she tells him sweetly, correcting him with an incredible amount of patience when he purposely mispronounces the name twice, before continuing to talk about him like he’s the sweetest person on earth.

Jeongguk nearly breaks the pencil he’s holding between his fingers.

“Good for you,” he grumbles out, looking back at his paper.

She ignores his thinly veiled sarcasm, pressing on with the conversation even though it’s clearly one-sided. His heart stings at how excited she looks but chooses not to say anything when he sees the bright smile on her face, because if she was truly happy then nothing else really mattered- or did it?

“Jeongguk!”

He flinches and realizes he’s been caught drifting off. “What?”

Chaeyoung frowns at him. “You’re not paying attention to me.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, avoiding her disappointed gaze. “What were you saying?”

She sighs. “I won’t be walking back with you today. I have band practice again.”

“Is that so?” he scoffs, unable to drop the annoyance in his voice.

She pouts. “Don’t be mad, I’ll see you tomorrow anyway.”

Her doesn’t see her.

It continues on for about a week, until he’s irritated with her absence and the fact that she hadn’t bothered to call him back, that he storms to her room, determined to wait outside till she gets back from whatever she’s busy with.

He regrets his decision however, the moment he hears her laughter echoing in the empty hallway.

Because she’s not alone, a tall, handsome male accompanying her as she laughs at everything he says and Jeongguk has to look away when he sees how tightly their hands are interlocked.

Chaeyoung’s eyes drift to him, a look of surprise sketching across her features before it quickly turns into obvious confusion.

“Jeongguk? What are you doing here?”

“I uh-” he swallows, throat seizing up with no appropriate excuse to offer.

“Is everything alright?” she’s so close to reaching out to him and he would’ve allowed it, if only her boyfriend wasn’t standing next to her, guitars heavy in their hands, drawing a clear and painful reminder of how perfect they looked beside each other and how he never would have stood a chance to begin with.

“Yeah,” he replies shakily as he gets onto his feet.

He brushes the dirt off his shorts and curses inwardly when he stumbles a little, rushing past them before he gets the chance to see the strange, disappointed look in Chaeyoung’s eyes.

Later that night, he lies in bed and wonders about the possibility of having his feelings confirmed and his heart broken on the same day.

>

Jimin is the first one to bring it up.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

Jeongguk regards him from where he’s lying on his bed. “What makes you think there’s something wrong?”

Jimin gives him a disapproving look. “You’ve been unusually quiet the past few days and most importantly, you haven’t bugged me about your snacks even once this entire week. If this doesn’t point to something wrong, then I don’t know what should.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes but still isn’t willing to let anything slip.

“You’re thinking too much.”

He hates how his hyung doesn’t give up, pushing on with the will of a survivor.

“Is this about Chaeyoung?”

He tries not to clench his teeth. “What about her?”

“She’s got herself a boyfriend and suddenly you don’t know how to deal with all these feelings you’re getting.”

Jeongguk would continue lying, but he doesn’t really see the point in doing so when Jimin’s precisely summarized just about his entire emotional system in one sentence.

He sighs defeatedly and drops his gaze.

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

Jimin sighs back after a long pause. “You know I always thought you guys would end up together.”

Jeongguk wonders when exactly he’ll be brave enough to reply, so did I.

>

The last time he’d seen her was probably three weeks ago, which is unusual for their relationship because somehow either one always finds a way to bug the other person just after a day or two of not meeting.

Jeongguk used to find that irritating all the time, but experiencing the effects of her absence now, he thinks it was wrongly misplaced.

It’s a Saturday night when Chaeyoung knocks at his door, carrying a pack of beer and smiling like they just saw each other yesterday, even though he can see the solemnness peek through. He doesn’t find it himself to chase her away.

It takes ten minutes after settling down and downing a can of beer that she opens up to him quietly.

“I don’t know if I want to keep doing this.”

He takes a few seconds to respond, because her voice was so soft he almost thought he was hearing things at first.

“Doing what?” he prompts after catching up.

She gives a small, sad laugh.

“This. Dating, being in a relationship.”

Jeongguk feels his muscles tense instantly. “Why? What did he do?”

She shakes her head, tracing spirals with her fingers into the floor. “He didn’t do anything.”

“Then?”

“I…never mind,” she trails off, closing up into her own world that Jeongguk knows he wouldn’t be able to get to unless she’d offered to share again.

“Are you seeing someone now?” she asks suddenly.

“I-I uh…”

Her eyes waver with curiosity. “Are you?”

He lets it stew and waits one long second before replying. “No.”

“I see,” she whispers, then tears her eyes away from him.

“Why do you ask?” He can’t help the nervousness in his voice.

“Nothing much.”

His heart sinks slightly, but it goes low enough to reach the pool of disappointment.

“Oh.”

He hears the tapping of her fingers against the wood briefly, before-

“I thought…you should have someone to keep you company, you know?” she says softly, looking down at her lap so he doesn’t see the unaccounted sadness in her eyes.

“You do a pretty good job at it already,” he says.

She laughs. “Do I really?”

He feels it’s okay to laugh back. “Well, maybe just mediocre.”

She laughs louder this time, causing her whole frame to shake. It gives him the sudden urge to just take her into his arms.

“I’ve been a pretty bad best friend, haven’t I?” she mutters, once again tracing random patterns against the floor.

Jeongguk doesn’t reply, and they sit in silence until Chaeyoung moves first, crawling straight into his arms.

He wraps them tight around her without a heartbeat’s hesitation.

“I’m sorry,” she cries.

He rests his chin on top of her head and shakes his head lightly. He doesn’t say it’s fine, because they’d both know he’d be lying, so he settles for hugging her tighter as a sign of forgiveness.

“You’re always so warm,” she comments, once she’s no longer crying and resting comfortably against his chest.

Jeongguk knows this is too much affection for best friends, but he can’t bear to push her away, not when he’s wanted this for so long, not when she’s let her guard down and sinks into him like it’s the only place she’d ever want to be.

“It’s a good thing?” he asks quietly, smiling at how her eyes are starting to close.

“Mm,” she nods, before shutting them fully. “I like it.”

 He gazes silently at her sleeping face, hoping she doesn’t wake up when he mouths-

I like you.

>

The birthday party thrown for Jennie lands on a Saturday and due to relations such as being her neighbor as well as her classmate in the communications mod they’re taking, Chaeyoung gets invited.

It isn’t Jennie who opens the door for her when she arrives with a birthday gift in hand and she stares for a few seconds at the familiar face, before he’s rolling his eyes and pulling her inside the room.

“What are you doing here?” she frowns, confused.

Jeongguk just rolls his eyes. “Jimin got invited, but he was too scared to come alone.”

She reels back slightly, unable to put the pieces together. “Jimin…as in the RA? Your roommate?”

Jeongguk gives her an unimpressed look. “Yes, that Jimin.”

“They know each other?”

He sighs, exasperated. “Yes, they do, very well in fact if you haven’t noticed,” he points to some corner in the room and Chaeyoung nearly drops her gift when she sees them making out furiously.

“Well that explains why you opened the door,” she mutters under her breath when she recovers from the unexpected shock.

Jeongguk just grumbles incoherently, tagging behind her while she finds a place to set her present down.

She turns around when she’s done and almost crashes straight into him, because apparently Jeongguk had no self-awareness when it came to personal space.

She hisses in surprise, but he ignores her, wrapping a tight grip around her hand before tugging.

“Finally. I need some damn alcohol in my system if we’re going to make it through this night.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol they’ve consumed and the air of tension around them, but Jeongguk leans closer to her than usual, sticking like gum to her even though there’s plenty of space on the other side of the couch.

She thinks of pushing him away, but then his cologne hits her nose and she suddenly has the urge to breathe in more of his scent, so she lets him eat into her space as she does the same, inching closer until she has her face pressed into the hollow of his neck.

“You smell good,” she blurts out without thinking, which he hisses sharply in response. It makes her cheeks heat, but also encourages her to slide her nose against the throbbing, prominent vein along his neck.

He flinches when she inhales deeply, a smile tugging at her lips as she feels how he shakes violently under the contact.

Out of everyone, he was the last person she’d guess would be so sensitive along the neck and it only makes her bloom with pride because she thinks she’s the first one ever to discover this.

“Jeongguk,” she breathes. He flinches but doesn’t move away.

“What?”

She lets her question sit on her tongue for a long second, then, “Why are you still single?”

His throat bobs and her eyes follow the movement in a daze. The urge of wanting to feel it against her lips suddenly comes to mind.

“What do you mean?” he replies, sounding like he’s on the verge of cracking it makes her confused.

“I mean,” and she pauses, taking some time to readjust her thoughts so they sound coherent enough when they escape . “You must know how handsome you are, so why haven’t you put it to good use?”

He freezes up fully underneath her. “W-What?”

She frowns at his surprised face. “Stop pretending. You know exactly what I’m saying.”

“Please explain,” he rushes out breathily. Frown deepening further, she looks up at him, unable to wrap her head around the apparent desperation in his voice.

“You’re attractive, you have a banging body, so unless you’re secretly gay, it doesn’t explain why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

His jaw drops, in surprise or disbelief, she’s too drunk to tell. “Y-You think I’m attractive?”

“Yeah.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?” he asks, exasperated as he runs his fingers through his hair.  

She scoffs, dragging her eyes. “Well I’m sorry, I don’t remember promising to inflate your ego as and when you like.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

The raise in his volume manages to rile her up as well. “Then what did you mean?”

He opens his mouth, but not a word comes out and she watches his frustrated expression turn into something like a look of defeat.

“Forget it,” he backs away, gritting his teeth.

“Maybe I will,” she argues, in the mood to start a fight. Jeongguk glares at her, but still doesn’t say anything, until-

“You’re so ing oblivious,” he mutters under his breath, but she hears it loud and clear despite having her back turned to him.

“What did you say?” she hisses, glaring back at him and he meets her gaze challengingly.

“I said, you’re ing oblivious if you think that’s the reason I haven’t got a girlfriend.”

“Well explain yourself, because I’m surely not getting it!”

“I like you!”

A confused silence passes through her system and stays, as if it was making its home permanently there.

It takes her a long second of held breaths and exchanged gazes before she can pull something out of her consciousness.

“N-no, y-you don’t,” she refutes, but the shakiness in her voice prevents her from sounding stern and firm like she wants to.

“Yes, I do, and if I’d known you felt this way, I would have done something about it much earlier,” he tells her, throat raw as regret swims thick within his eyes.

Her stomach wrenches, and she doesn’t want to believe the words that leave in a rush. “Like what?”

His eyes grow in surprise for the briefest of seconds, before it flickers with something that makes her gulp nervously, because he’s leaning closer and closer, until she feels her head hit the backrest and he’s sliding one arm around her waist bravely.

“This,” he whispers, breath tickling her cheek gently.

“Jeong-”

“Or this,” he moves his mouth towards her neck and Chaeyoung isn’t ready for it when he nibbles slightly at the flesh there.

She gasps, shrinking back immediately but he holds her firmly, before swiping his tongue over the bitten area without hesitation.

“Jeongguk,” his name comes out in a moan, making her blush hotly because she wouldn’t have imagined her best friend’s name to slip out in that manner.

“You sound better than I’ve imagined,” he groans huskily, and she feels another whimper escape her lips.

“Or,” he pauses, tilting his head up and stopping right in front of her lips. Chaeyoung watches him with dazed, hooded eyes, cheeks heating like an iron at the proximity.

He gives her a few seconds to move away, before he’s diving in to angle his mouth over hers, desperately against the seam of her lips so he can explore further.

She nearly lets him, crumbling under the heat and the overwhelming desire for more, when she realizes what they’re doing and she’s shoving a hand against his chest to push him as far away from her as possible.

“Chae-” she hears him call out weakly for her when she stands, hand covering in embarrassment as she dashes out of the party crying, with only one thing on her mind.

She’d just kissed her best friend and she liked it.

>

Chaeyoung decides she’s going to try to avoid seeing Jeongguk for as long as she can.

It works fine at first, seeing how they have separate schedules and she has band practice and her heart sleeps easy for the first week of not having to think about the weird mix of emotions brewing in her stomach.

But good things never last long, not when she comes back to the dorm one Friday night and immediately wants to turn around and make a dash for it, because Jeongguk’s sitting outside her room, entertaining himself with the games on his phone while he waits for her to come back.

She almost manages to escape until she backtracks into someone coming out from their room, the commotion causing him to look up from his phone, eyes narrowing angrily the minute he sees her start to run.

Chaeyoung doesn’t even know why she tries, because Jeongguk had been in track since their college days and he easily catches up, blocking her only route of escape with his arms slammed against the wall.

“What the Chaeyoung!”

He yells, but she ignores him, still too busy recovering from that sprint across the hallway, while he looks like he just went for a stroll in the park.

“What- what did you want?” she asks, feigning innocence.

Jeongguk glares at her. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not,” she lies shamelessly.

He scoffs, clearly frustrated. “I’ve known you since you were 16, I think I know exactly when you’re lying and when you’re not.”

“I’m not lying,” she refutes stubbornly.

It earns her another glare, though his eyes softens when he sees her playing with her fingers nervously.

“Fine,” he says, controlling the irritation in his voice. “Are we going to talk about the party?” he stares at her unwavering. Her lips start to dry out.

“W-What about it?”

There’s a long pause before he continues and Chaeyoung really hopes he doesn’t go on in the direction she’s thinking of.

He gives her an unreadable expression before sighing softly.

“You know I like you-”

“Jeongguk please,” she chokes out. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why?” He questions louder than usual. “Because it’s the truth?”

“Because you’re my best friend!” she cries.

“Best friend!” he shouts. “It always ing comes down to this! When are you going to be honest with yourself for ’s sake!”

The lump in thickens and she shifts her attention to her seemingly interesting fingers.

“Jeongguk-” she swallows, and the words come out softer than she’d expected. “You’re my best friend... I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

He returns her gaze one heartbeat later. “You already did.”

>

Fights with Jeongguk normally don’t last for more than a day, except for that one time she’d ripped his iu poster by accident and he’d almost declared WWIII on her. He always gives in first, because he knows he can’t stay mad at her for long and because he knows her struggles with taking initiative, it just never clicked as well as the both of them.

So when Chaeyoung realizes it’s officially been a week since she’d last spoke to him, she knows things are pretty damn serious.

But her pride gets in her way, fingers refusing to let themselves scroll past the alphabet i in her contact list until she realizes it’s not the problem of taking the initiative this time that’s holding her back, but the fear of hearing his response and wondering what would become of their friendship after they actually get to talk things out.

She’s preparing to throw her phone off the bed after another failed attempt at sending a message when it vibrates in her hand.

Jimin RA, the screen flashes. There’s no reason he should be calling her at this time, but considering the distraction he might provide, it takes her less than a thoughtful second to swipe and answer the call.

“What d’ya want?”

“Have you seen Jeongguk?”

The name makes her freeze automatically, before she’s snapping out of it and trying her best to sound as uncaring as she can.

“I haven’t. Why?” her voice trails a little higher at the end, and she punches her bedsheet in irritation.

“He’s supposed to come for practice after class, but he didn’t turn up and coach’s kind of getting on my , because the big game’s just next week.”

“Have you tried calling him?”

“If I didn’t, why would I be calling you?”

She nearly blushes at how closely linked they seem in their friends’ eyes.

“Do you have any clue where he might have gone?” Jimin interrupts before she can answer.

“Um, the library?”

“We’ve checked, he isn’t there.”

“Okay, how about the campus coffee shop?”

“Swept and cleared, not there either.”

She frowns, running out of suggestions. “The gym?”

“Nah, he has a cold. He wouldn’t be working out.”

“Wait, he’s sick?”

“Yeah, he came back last night complaining about a headache. I gave him Panadol before he went to bed, but I doubt he’s feeling any better now. Anyway-”

Chaeyoung makes her decision before he can say anything else. “I gotta go, Jimin. I’ll call you back if I find him.”

“What? Chaeyoung, wait-”

But she’s hanging up, grabbing her keys and jacket off the chair before bursting out of her room.

>

When she checks the time on her phone again, her grip around it tightens.

Because it’s been three hours since Jeongguk’s gone missing, one hour since she first started looking for him and it’s taken all of her strength not to crumble at the decreasing list of places that she’s ticked off in her head.

She’s worried sick, but also guilty at the same time, because some part of her feels like she has something to do with his sudden disappearance.

Her steps are quick and frantic as she climbs up the stairs to their block, checking in the last place she wouldn’t have expected him to be, but just wants to make sure because it’s one of the places Jimin hadn’t mentioned.

She crashes to a halt when she stops in front of their room, eyes picking up on his slippers outside.

A flash of disbelief strikes her in the chest, and she hopes she’s wrong as she turns the knob slightly, fingers flinching when she hears it click.

They never lock the door, unless they’re both out.

The door flies open with a bang and her heart momentarily freezes when she sees him rip the earphones out from his ears.

“What-” he begins but she cuts him off angrily.

“So this was where you were all this time?” she shouts, unable to control her emotions as he looks at her completely clueless.

“Dammit Jeongguk! I was looking everywhere for you! Why the hell bother with a phone in the first place if you’re not going to use it anyway!”

He blinks rapidly, still confused as hell. “I don’t- wait, what’s wrong?”

Chaeyoung glares fire at the boy, opening to speak when she takes in his attire and she finally realizes he’s dressed in nothing but grey boxers, and maybe it’s due to his less than decent outfit or her damn raging hormones, or the combination of both, but she finds her rage ceasing almost instantly.

“Hey,” he calls worriedly, nearly making to stand. “What’s wrong?”

She gulps, eyes trained on his equally inviting topless state and his lack of pants.

“What’s wrong?” he asks again and this time, she doesn’t think before she acts.

“What’s right?”

His gaze turns from one of question to surprise when she advances steadily in his direction, before plopping herself right on his lap.

His eyes widen in surprise, but she’s too distracted by the feeling of his thighs under hers to care, leaning forward immediately to slide her lips against his. His hands fly to her waist instantly, and she presses harder against his mouth, the same time her s crash against his bare chest.

She hears him groan, kissing her back finally when he realizes this isn’t a dream, fingers tightening around her so quickly as if she’d disappear the minute he’d let go. One of his hands slip to her lower back, rubbing slowly while his lips mold themselves against hers, not wanting to break apart before they both get close to suffocating. Her mind reels at how deeply he’s kissing her, then once more when she feels the warmth of his palm against her bare skin and she wonders when he’s sneaked his hand past her shirt without her knowing. She melts into his touch either way, leaning back like she’s done this way too many times before, making him push forward instantly to close the insignificant gap between their bodies.

He has both hands slipped underneath her shirt a few seconds later, roaming generously around the skin of her back she’s sure by now has heated up nicely like a heat pad in winter. When his fingers manage to skim the clasp of her bra, she bites on his lip in surprise and swears she hears a muffled growl make its way past whatever space left between their smothered lips, before he’s pulling away abruptly, breath hot and lingering against her cheek.

He trains his eyes on her, flushed with arousal, want and all the things she’s never thought of doing with her best friend, but just might today with the way he’s staring at her like she’s his lunch, dinner and supper combined.

Her face heats the longer she tries to maintain eye contact, but Jeongguk doesn’t say a word and the only way she knows time hasn’t frozen around them is through the steady hardening of something beneath her that they both avoid to address.

“J-Jeonguk,” she tries to start when the silence gets too overwhelming.

He gives his full attention to her but remains chillingly quiet. A rush of a mistake floods into her system and she realizes she can no longer look him in the eye drop. “I-I’m sorry-”

The hands around her waist tighten, squeezing the flesh almost painfully before she hears him ask, strained and tired, “What for?”

She knows exactly what she’s apologizing for, but the words can’t seem to leave .

“I-I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”

His grip relaxes, before sliding away slowly and she almost whines for him to put his hands back, until they slide underneath her chin, still so gentle as he tilts her head up so she’s staring straight into his eyes.

Jeongguk looks wrecked and defeated, and her heart cracks open for a thin streak of guilt to settle right in.

“Did you regret it?”

The correct answer sits waiting on her tongue, but her heart is beating loud in her ears, a warning sign that she’s going to regret it the minute she lets it escape her lips. Jeongguk looks at her with foreshadowed heart break in his eyes, and she realizes she doesn’t want to hurt him anymore, so she swallows her reply, shakes her head lightly and pushes out a new one. The right one.

“I didn’t.”

He leans forward, barely brushing against her lips and, “me too.”

She inhales deeply, but claws for air just a second later and she wonders if it’s due to having him so close to her face for the first time.

Her eyes are wide open and she holds her breath when he finally closes the gap, pressing lightly against .

She barely has the time to pucker her lips when he pulls back abruptly, catching his own breath before watching her with eyes that want something in return. She swallows, throat dry and she wonders if she’d ever felt this breathless from just kissing in all her experiences.

Though there’s one thing she knows for sure when she finally dares to inch closer until their lips touch, that is, she’s felt butterflies stir in her stomach kissing Chanyeol, but never had them flutter their wings so furiously it could stir up a tiny storm until now, and there isn’t even tongue involved. Yet.

She pulls away first this time, lungs gasping for more air, but Jeongguk refuses to let her take an inch away from him, tugging her back so quickly she crashes into his chest, before he’s slanting his lips over hers to finally kiss her proper this time.

She melts into the heat of his tongue so easily it’s embarrassing, but she considers how he’s had his aroused poking against her thigh for the past ten minutes or so shamelessly and she throws the thought to the back of her mind, fully immersing herself into swiping her tongue into his mouth.

Somehow, they’ve managed to move from his chair to the bed and Chaeyoung doesn’t even realize this until her back touches his mattress and they pull away briefly for air. Jeongguk hovers above her, eyes hazy with affection and she doesn’t think twice before wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down towards to reconnect their lips in a kiss.

He indulges in her appetite for a while, before dragging his lips down her jaw to at her neck and she whimpers at the contact, eyes squeezed shut when the realization finally hits her.

“Oh my God-” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jeongguk to pull back and regard her with worried eyes.

“What? Did I hurt you?” he pauses briefly, scanning her exposed neck.

“I like you,” she says, blinking wide as the shock starts to sink in.

He frowns in confusion for a moment, before the slight smile on his face turns into the widest, dumbest grin in a split second.

“I thought we established that when you pounced on me.”

Her cheeks redden in embarrassment as she shoots him a glare.

“What?” He shrugs nonchalantly and Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. “You say it like it’s something bad.”

“I- I just- I still have a boyfriend Jeongguk.”

He takes a few moments to consider, and she swears she nearly suffocates in the silence while waiting for his answer. “Are you going to choose him over me?”

“Well, I did, technically,” she bites on her lip and looks up at him shamefully.

He knows it’s her attempt at an apology, but it doesn’t stop the truth from stinging anyway.

“Only because you were so used to us as friends, the idea of us in a relationship wouldn’t have made it far in your mind before you discarded the thought away.”

“You’re lonelier than you think you are, Chaeyoung, so when he showed up at the right time, you decided the company was at least better than nothing at all,” Jeongguk finishes, looking quite empathetic but proud of himself at the same time.

Chaeyoung stares at him blankly, her mind grinding to complete halt when she finally comprehends his words and her shoulders sag as acknowledgment seeps in.

He watches her intently for a minute and she finally caves with a defeated sigh.

“Why are you always right?” she complains.

His ears perk up a little at her words and the grin across his face is noticeably wider than before.

“I’m not, I just know you better than yourself,” he says softly, the proud look from previously disappearing without a trace on his face.

“So, you’re telling me you sat there, watched me get chased into a relationship I wasn’t sure about this entire time without saying a word?”

“Basically,” he shrugs, but still leaves a smile on to make her feel better.

Though it kind of does the exact opposite, and his eyes soften the moment he catches how she’s biting down on her lips, trying her best not to cry.

He brushes his fingers gently against her cheek to get her attention. “Hey, I’m not mad, alright? It’s okay,” he whispers, soft and so caring it only reminds her of how selfless he is and how she’s not in comparison.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Jeongguk,” she chokes, tears slipping out without restraint.

His eyes grow in alarm and he’s shaking his head quickly before pulling her into his arms. “No, no, shhh, you don’t have to apologize.”

“But-”

“You’re here now,” he strains, desperate to get his point across. “Because you’re here now, so it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, except you.”

She cries hard in his chest and he lets her, lets her do whatever she needs to calm down while he wraps his arms around her tightly, hands finding the skin of her back soon enough to rub slow, comforting circles against.

She’s so tiny against him, it makes his heart break a little at the way her frame shakes within his arms, so he pulls her closer, hugs her tighter and hopes he can take away some of the pain she’s experiencing.

He counts roughly twenty seconds later that she’s tilting her head up, and he snaps his gaze down, only to find how her staring up at him with puffy, swollen eyes.

“Us,” she says weakly, but determined enough it makes him confused.

“Us?”

“Nothing matters, except us,” she repeats, a little louder this time, but more nervous he can tell, from the way she’s chewing on her bottom lip.

It’s going to bleed at this rate and he won’t allow a single cut on her, at least not under his watch. So he frees her lip gently with his fingers, bending down to kiss her before running his tongue briefly over the swollen flesh.

“Us,” he confirms as he pulls away. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

“Was it worth it, at least?”

He smiles, taking her closer in his arms but doesn’t reply.

(The next morning when he wakes up to a mess of tangled limbs and a too warm figure on his chest, he has to blink away the sleep in his eyes, before brushing carefully along the skin of her bare waist to make sure all this isn’t a dream.

She fidgets slightly and his heart nearly sinks at the thought of waking her from her slumber, but when he meets her sleepy eyes and equally sleepy grin, he feels his universe pick up again, assembling slowly, steadily, this time with the one who’s made it all possible right by his side and-

“Definitely worth it.”)

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aeralOckhart
#1
Chapter 1: It's wonderful. Squeezed my heart painfully but it's worth it! It's definitely an awesome read.
Sunchild
#2
Chapter 1: i read this twice in the same day!! its gives me butterflies, i swear your writing is magical. i dont know what my fav story of yours is anymore, i like them all!
GabrielBss9
#3
Chapter 1: Ohhh geez! I love itt!! I just hope I was able to witness how they did it cause its definitely worth it haha!
aiai_aliali
#4
Chapter 1: It's so adorable that Chaeng is unaware of Jungkook's feelings....but, at the same time, it's frustrating for him....I'm happy he told her about his feelings in the end <3<3
Tungtarara #5
Chapter 1: as expected for youuuu... this is so great!
coal3sc3
#6
Chapter 1: Dear god, you're absolutely my favorite now! KEEP ON WRITING ROSEKOOK HELL YEAH. And gosh, jungkook is so in cute and i got frustrated every single time they're apart like "noooooo" and when she got a boyfriend i was like "NOOOOOO" i just felt my heart broken but then based on how it turned out in the end, I can say I'm really satisfied. Do u even know how frustrated I got when he only mouthed that 'i like you' like, FUHKIN SAY IT BOY WHY U GOTTA DO THIS and when she kept denying stuff i got like "STAHP LYING DON'T U DARE DO THAT TO YOUR HEART CHAEYOUNG THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT FRICKIN WANTS" ugh i love this so much! It's beautiful :'D Looking forward for more rosekook from you!!! :))))) <333
readerxxi
#7
Chapter 1: OMG, this is so beautiful, how is it even possible to fall in love to a fanfic haha. I really love everything about this fic and I really felt genuinely happy on how this turn out. This is just so heartwarming, thank you for this fic <3.
Sendo_kun
#8
Ugh! Keep your stories coming! I love it so much! You’re making my heart flutter regardless if it’s RoseKook or other ships of hers! ❤️ I’ll support you no matter what! :”)
Blinkheree #9
Chapter 1: Ugh I honestly yr writing!! So beautiful as always!! Thank you for your Rosekook stories authornim!!