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On a fine day, Sunday, my only granddaughter, who is currently in the last year of university, approached me. "Grandma, can you help me with something?", she started. Then, she asks for me to go through my old photos back from the 60s, saying that it's for her history paper at school. I promises her that I would.

That evening after my early dinner, I started going through my forgotten pile of old stuffs in the cupboard, with the hope of finding something useful for my granddaughter. And that's when I found the very old and fading black and white photo of me and him. At this age, it's difficult even to recall the name of an old friend but strangely I still remember everything about this particular person.

He and I go to same middle school till high school, but he was not from around here. There was a rumor that he came from the land of natural beauties. "No wonder, he himself is the living evidence." I smiled, "even his name is as beautiful and handsome at the same time as he is, Ong". That was all I knew about him until the day we finally got introduced by a mutual friend and I came to learn about his country, Korea, directly from him.

We don't speak the same language but that wasn't a problem. Because back in the days, children our age were fluent in English and so were we. We talked for hours that day on the bench under a big tree behind our school with all our school books lying around on the bench table. Since both of us were not a shy boy and a shy girl, we clicked from the very moment we started talking.

In the beginning of high school, he needed a hand with the subject maths and I was brilliant at it. So, that's when our mutual friend played a part in getting us acquainted. Soon after that, girls at our school started talking about us. Surprisingly, he didn't deny any rumors of us being together and also the thing about I'm being his high school sweetheart. "Since he didn't deny any of this, why would I?" I enjoyed being with him and loved all those precious study dates.

Yes, I had a crush on him since the last year of middle school. Then, we became best friends during our first year in high school. We were always seen together in school and also outside of school. In my relief, he didn't seem to be interested in any girls at our school and his focus is all on me. I was the luckiest girl in the world for all I know at that time.

He confessed to me on the 1st day of our last year in high school, the happiest day in my life. The flowers blossomed and sweet little birds singing happily inside me.

"Is it okay to tell you that I love you?" he said looking deeply into my eyes, "I'm not asking us to become a couple straight away..." he paused, "...but can we?". 

The way he confesses was very cute and I couldn't help but reciprocated his feelings on the spot. I said I love him too. I felt shy unnecessarily every time I think back about it till now. Why did I response so quickly and made myself look shallow? But he didn't seem to think that way, he looked relief and happy actually.

That year, our last year in high school, was a blast. The happiest year of my life. Our friends gave us their blessings in secret since we gotta hide our relationship from parents, teachers and everyone who might spread bad rumors. We studied hard in order to get into the same college for our bright future together. And yeah, we did it. We got accepted into our dream college.

But, little did we know that our first week of college would be the week that supposingly ending our relationship for good. His dad, the government official, has completed his duty in my country and the government is calling him back to Korea. They got no choice but to leave with him in the coming week. It was so sudden that he was still in shock when he delivered me the news. All I remembered was that I cried and cried and cried some more for hours until he walked me to my home very late at night. I didn't know how will I be able to survive without my dear Ong-Ong.

On the day he left, he kissed me deeply under the tree where we first met officially. He promised he will be writing to me every month and we would keep in touch. I hugged him and cried because I didn't know what else is there to do. We were not only lovers, but also each other's best friends. But, following the separation, eventually and unknowingly, we've broken up.

And yes, we did keep in touch, he wrote to me every other month throughout my college years and my replies were very prompt. He told me about his life back there, about his new friends and about his college. I, too, wrote in very details about my everyday life and how much I missed his presence. At first, he also missed me so badly. But, when it nearly turned a year, my place as his best friend was being replaced by some guy named Daniel, who also goes to the same college as him.

Since then, all he could talk about is his new best bud, Daniel. I was so jealous at first but then, I got used to it. I also found a new bestie myself back here. So, we were even, that was what I thought. During my last year of college, right before the final exams, he dropped a bomb on me with his letter for that month. I should have seen that coming, but how could I, because that wasn't a thing back then.

For the past few months, he had been writing that something was wrong with him and he felt very terrible. I was worried sick. He said that it wasn't about studies, families or health. He didn't tell me what it was until that day. 

"I think I'm in love with him." 

That very sentence from my Ong-Ong shocked me to my core. I couldn't reply for days. I honestly didn't know what to reply. I, for sure, no need to ask who is "him". Because there is only one "him" that he always talked about. That lucky little guy, Daniel. 

Slowly, but with no other choice, I accepted that my-once-upon-a-time-boyfriend loves another guy. It dropped really hard on me. Eventually, I replied. I encouraged him to be open about his feelings if he thinks there is a chance that the other party also would be feeling the same thing. I told him to give it a try. And he did but that took him about a few more months. But finally, his sincere feelings got reciprocated. 

I couldn't admit at that time but I guess a little part inside of me was still in doubt and much filled with jealousy. That's why, I took up a job in journalism and persuaded my parents to allow me to go to Korea with my job assignment. He was so happy when I told him that I would be coming. He said I could stay at his home for as long as I want to but I refused politely. How could I stay near him when I know I still had feelings for him while he no longer have the same for me. 

During my stay at Korea for a month, we met a few times, we catched up. He got even more handsome in his twenties. Once, he bring along his partner, Daniel, to introduce him to me. Daniel is a very sweet and cheerful person. Although I did go with much hatred for him in the first place, once I got to know him, I couldn't help but adore him. I gave them my blessings and, then I was finally happy for my Ong-Ong. And that's when I decided to move on from him.

"Grandma, what're you smiling at?" at the sound of my granddaughter's voice, I came back to the present. "Oh nothing, just old memories" I replied, rearranging those old letters from him in my hands. "Those memories must be really good ones" she said teasingly. "They really were" I agreed.

After all, there was a distance in between and it wasn't just geographically.

~~~~~

By

Yamin Omar

(04/03/2018)