*One year earlier*

*Timothy's P.O.V*

"You guys have never been to a sauna before?" Lucas asks dubiously as we made our into the sauna room, him being the loudest out of us all. It was our first day on our group vacation, in Lucas's hometown of Hong Kong - and believe it or not, he was our tour guide. The girls were already separated from us, and all were left were the boys. "It's where men hang out, talk about girls and whatnot. It's gonna be fun!" he insisted as he took off his shirt. 

Caleb snorted, "Is Tim gonna be included? 'Cause I don't think he'd be interested in talking about girls." and when he said that, I punched him in the shoulder. He was partially right, I had no interest in smalltalk about how the girls looked, from head to toe. Lucas may or may not had been aware of my preference (I was public about uality), and in the shirtless state he was in, it was jeopardizing my calm. He obviously wanted to come here, simply to boast about his toned physique - I was a runt compared to him. While he was all muscle and tanned skin, I was wiry and pale from not enough exposure to sunlight. 

"Well if he's interested in boys, he can look at me all he wants. I know I look good." Lucas grinned at me, I threw my towel at him. 

"Somehow you're cockiness just decreased my attraction towards you, thanks." I said sarcastically. 

Caleb looked at his watch, "By the way, what's taking Mark so long?"

"You gotta understand, he's shy." Lucas joked. 

"You guys were talking about me?" his voice floated into the room as he emerged from the changing rooms. Deep under, I was dreading whether any of them heard my stomach drop. The moment I laid eyes on him, it was as if an invisible force had taken a punch at me, making it hard for me to breathe. That was how hard it was for me to keep a straight face. 

He wore only a bathrobe, with nothing underneath as it exposed his torso - it was nothing like Lucas, of muscles and fiery charisma. Even though I couldn't deny Lucas was very handsome, Mark Lee was on another level for me. I hated that I couldn't look at his face properly because I knew my face would flush red, the process of widening my eyes to get a closer look at every little detail of him like a sculptor the the engine of my heart going even faster by the second. His hair was perfectly messy in place, the detail of the sweat trickled down his throat-

"Tim?" Lucas tossed my towel back at me. 

"Yeah?" I cleared my throat. 

He grinned while his eyes darted from Mark to me, "You can't possibly....fancy Mark now?"

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks for scaring the out of my roommate, Lucas. Now he'll never feel safe in our room. Don't worry Mark, I'm not a serial gay ."

Mark laughed nervously, "That's good to know..." and he settled down next to me, that made my situation even more uncomfortable. I looked directly at Caleb, and everywhere else except at Mark at all costs. 

When Lucas and Caleb opted to go to the jacuzzi to cool down and talk about girls, both of us rathered to hang out at the pools. I liked being quiet, opposite from all the noise. Sooner than I expected, the rest of group were over at the indoor bar, chatting and drinking - Mark had the same ideas as I did. 

"Why aren't you hanging out with them?" Mark questioned, as we sat in the pool. 

I shook my head, "Why aren't you hanging out with them?"

"Because I'm anti-social, and I like it down here." he answered. "You?"

Because I like being with you. "Because I'm lazy to talk, much less about girls." and as I said that, Mark extended his hand - inside his palm was a necklace. "What's this?"

"I went to Montauk the other day, and I thought it'd be nice to get you something before I left, Here, I thought it suited you." the single aqua blue rock was strapped to a cord, its color was lovely. Slowly, I took it from his hand. I tried putting it on, but for some reason the knot wouldn't tie. "H-here, I'll help you." he suddenly said. 

I didn't know whether to reject or accept it, so I kept quiet as Mark helped me fasten it on. I could feel the tip of his fingers brushing the back of my neck, it sent shivers down my spine. When he was done, the sea glass rested against my chest, I looked at it admiringly. 

"Do you like it?" he asked expectantly. 

"I..." I love everything you give me. "-of course it's awesome. Thanks a lot, Mark."  I ended up answering. 

"You're welcome." he grinned. "Because I thought the color blue really suited you, my aunt says it suits your eyes too - they're blue and all..."

Blue...

"'Neverland: A place where dreams can live forever.'" I murmured the words scribbled on paper. The referenced page number from the map directed me to this particular page, where my mom had written what I just read in bold, cursive writing. The rest of the page were drawings of forests and glitter sprinkled at the corners, a jumbled mess just to make the page stand out. 

It was clearly something she had wanted. 

But why Neverland?

I had realized the pattern she had made, every town she had directed me to was continuous. A series of secluded locations separated from reality, as if they were stuck in a time loop. It was as if she hoped for time to stop, from whatever place she was at that time to stop moving forward. 

What was she thinking then?

I sighed and rested my head on the steering wheel, I had stopped once I was near a hill by the highway. It was a place where people parked their caravans and trailers, by the time I was there - families were relaxing and lounging in large groups. I noticed I was the only person there all alone in my car, I got out and waited for the sunset.

If there was one problem with being alone, it was being left alone with too many of my thoughts. I thought I'd stay occupied enough to not think about anything else, but reminders back home still stayed unsolved. There was Robert Lautner to think about, and all it did to me was give me a headache. I was starting to believe it, but that didn't mean I was okay with it. 

I still hated him (with the capacity of hate I had in me), and I wasn't going to forgive him for what he did or caused. I didn't want him to explain himself, because he was only going to repeat redundant apologies that I didn't need, there was no fixing this. 

Mom, I thought, why him?

I knew better than to blame her for what had happened, the victim was never one to be blamed. But what I couldn't accept was how I ended up getting embroiled in all this mess - I didn't want to be a part of this problem. Then a sudden thought came into my mind, it was so random I even questioned myself at that moment.

What would Timothy do, if he were me?

I had been thinking about him a lot lately, for some reason. I wondered if he was thinking where the hell had I gone to (oddly, I rather liked the prospect of him wondering about my whereabouts, which was new). It was as if it mattered if I was on his mind, which was not the case. To be very honest, I missed him being around like always in our room. 

The way he blurted random sayings to make sense of the world, his lingering scent of slight alcohol and orchids and cigarettes. A lot of stuff Aunt Tiffany wouldn't like, which I found amusing. It was almost as if a part of me, at that time, had faded away.

Why are you thinking about him, Mark Lee? 

The more I told myself to not think about him, the more my mind was tempted to recall his face. It didn't make things better when I didn't forget that particular dream not too long ago. It was nothing mom-related, or stress-induced - it was so disconnected to reality I convinced myself to ignore it.

I was in a meadow, around me were fields of wheat as tall as I was. It wasn't anything bad, but the feeling of feeling lost, in that dream, was both eloquent and peaceful. So I wandered aimlessly, my fingers trudging through the endless fields of golden wheat - under the saturated sunlight, unsure if it was sunrise or sundown. Then a voice wandered out of nowhere, I looked around but no one was there.

'Nature has the most surprising ways of finding our weak spots, and for us humans, that weak spot is love.' 

"Who are you?" I had asked into the abyss. "What do you mean?" In that dream at that time, I was confused to what that voice meant. Because for all I knew, love made people stronger; Donghyuck made me stronger, Aunt Tiffany made me stronger, Riley made me stronger - and so there was no real reason for it to be my weak spot.

That was before the love between Riley and me crumbled...

The next second, I felt a hand suddenly reached out to me - and due to the tall grass, I wasn't sure who was it guiding me out. At least I had a direction. 

"Who are you?" I had repeated my question, not entirely sure whether this person was the one who had spoke. That person didn't answer.

By the time I exited the field, the person was no where to be seen - standing on the cliff next to the cottage, hauntingly similar to the one in Montauk over the holidays. 

Cautiously, I had approached the person - a boy, his silhouette so familiar I had doubted my guess. Timothy Armor was standing next to me, the sun made his freckles stand out, his blueish-green eyes twinkled as he faced the ocean. In that moment, that scene - he looked so unreal that I wanted to just touch his face. But I held back in the end. 

"Do you know why I like to look at the sea, Mark?" Timothy had asked me.

I shook my head, "Why? Does it remind you of anything?" 

Then he looked at me, the sultry and serious look he never gave me. "You. The more I want to hold your hand, the more I know it's going to be impossible because I'll just drift further away." then he chuckled. "I'd want to hold your hand, but of course you'd refuse."

"I wouldn't," I suddenly said, the words escaping my mouth without my consent. "You've never tried to, why not now?" the words continued spilling, making me panic inside. My hand reached for his fingers, lacing them through his. They were soft, I could picture them flipping the pages of books, opening bottles of beer, holding cigarettes-

When I woke up, my stomach had seemed to tie a knot at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. Across my side of the room, he had been sleeping - sober and sound. The dream was so bothersome I had to get up and write in my notebook. 'Nature has the most surprising ways of finding our weak spots, and for us humans, that weak spot is love.' I wrote, my hand clamy and cold. I had stared at my hand, contemplating my fingerprints as I recalled every scene in that dream. From trudging through the field, to meeting the ocean and holding his hand - I had found it so bizarre that I could imagine how it would feel, holding his hand. 

Recalling that scenario now, I couldn't help but think about it all over again. The only reason I ever shut that memory down was only because I was...in love with Riley at the time. And that meant I was not supposed to think about liking another person, let alone fathom things I wasn't supposed to. And Timothy was only a friend, nothing else.

But was I still in love with Riley now? We called it quits, but did that really mean I no longer cared whether our relationship would heal? And the dream, did it mean anything? Of course I never denied that Timothy was good-looking, but that was a mutual compliment everyone gave each other (I didn't mean to go into detail about what made him extra attractive, and that was his eyes) besides, that was the reason I gave him that necklace last year.

But why did I lie and say Aunt Tiffany wanted me to buy it?

Why didn't I tell him the truth?

That I wanted him to wear it. 

"Why does it even matter, Lee Minhyung?" I asked myself. Itching to write something, I opened my mom's journal and turned to the remaining empty pages, picked up a pen from the car and after careful consideration, wrote down my own sentence. 

'Nature has the most surprising ways of finding our weak spots, and for us humans, that weak spot is love.'
'His eyes of the waves, the creases of his fingertips reminded me of the fine of a brush on a canvas,
His skin all too delicate to be kissed by the sun, God forbid how fragile it is to be touched,
His lingering scent of orchids and cigarettes, of both good and bad, 
Of hot summer nights and the quiet of a sunrise,
Of midnight suns and fiery stars,
The Cupid's Bow his lips possessed-

I stopped myself from writing, only to realize what I had almost formed into sentences. I was in dismay of what I was capable of thinking, the description I gave was so intricate it was almost explicit. Words scared me sometimes, and even more because I was aware of what power it possessed. It could make people's most deepest thoughts become real if the unsaid feelings were replaced by words. Was this how I viewed Timothy Armor?

"No." I mumbled and closed the book.

*Donghyuck's P.O.V*

When I woke up, Felix was still driving. He didn't notice that I was already awake, silently I peered at the backseats - Lucas was on his phone with earbuds plugged in while the rest were sleeping. As I turned back to Felix, I decided it was best to stay silent. It had been long since I could look at him in peace, without him saying anything whatsoever. His freckles were his best feature (if not everything about his face was his best feature), his smile whenever I mocked him as a joke.

Just how many times did I still have the chance to do so?

"You're awake," he finally realized, and in a surprised tone. "Well at least you've had four hours of sleep. And why were you quiet?"

I streched and yawned, "Nothing much, it's just I don't always get to see you be quiet, for a significant annoyance you are. I call it admiring in silence."

He grinned, "Oh? You were admiring me then? Tell me, what do you find attractive about me?"

"Alright, let's not get cocky shall we?" I rolled my eyes. "I think you're full of yourself enough to know that part." 

"But I want to hear it from you!" he insisted. "Come on, I already told you what I liked about you!"

"I don't really remember anymore, do tell me again." 

He laughed, "Oh so that's how you're gonna play? Alright, I said I liked your eyes, then I fell in love with your voice then your personality. Just everything. Everything about you makes me crazy in love with you." he said it, so smooth it made me doubt him. "Now your turn."

"Did you ever notice that we're polar opposites?" I asked him. "I mean, you're so happy all the time it's like nothing can get in your way - I want to be like you so bad, but it's so hard to even try."

He looked at me, corcerned. "Donghyuck, we've talked about this. It's all about self-love-"

"That's not just it, Felix," I told him. "You know I'm trying, I've told you what I've been through and it's hard for me to feel completely in control over everything in my life."

He frowned, "I'm part of your life, don't you think that's having control?"

"You leaving is not something I have control over." I snapped, and he stared at me. 

"D-Donghyuck, I-"

"Watch the road!" I exclaimed when he almost hit a passing car, I grabbed for the steering wheel and our truck switched lanes just in time. It made Lucas jump, it jolted everyone awake. 

"W-what happened?" Somi groaned. 

"Did we crash or something?" Ily questioned as she rubbed her eyes. 

Felix came to his senses, "Sorry guys, I m-must have snoozed or something."

"In that case," Lucas took off his earphones. "I think it's time I take the wheel. Pull over, I'll switch with you Felix."

We stopped at the roadside, with Lucas taking over and both of us optioning to stay at the back of the truck. To my surprise, Timothy was sleeping alone on the bed of the truck. Nonetheless, we hopped on as the truck continued driving.

It was a long silence until Felix cleared his throat, "About what you said just now...is there something else you never told me? What you really feel maybe?"

I swallowed, "-because it'll never be something that matters to you, I know that because we're polar opposites and I'm on the side of the spectrum that worries too much about too many things."

"Hey," he took my hand and squeezed it. "This isn't about you thinking that you worry too much, I'm worried that I'm not being a good boyfriend. I've noticed lately, that you're not as happy as you used to be. I figured it must have been something I did wrong..."

"No!" I said immediately. "You did nothing wrong, not at all. Felix, every moment I spend with you makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world."

"Then what's the matter?"

"-and the thought of running out of time with you makes me scared." I let the words spill, my lips were shaking. I looked down, "I'm scared of letting you go, that's it, you're going to leave me and there's nothing I can do about it. Sooner or later you'll forget about us, and every moment we had would no longer matter. I cling onto every bit of love I can find, and I'm too greedy to let it go - and that's a problem."

"...and who said I was going to forget?" he murmured before looking at me. "Lee Donghyuck, was that really how you saw me as a person? Shallow and a jerk? Do you have any idea how much you matter to me? I've never told you this, but I'd do anything to not leave this place, much less you. I want to see your face and hear your voice every single day for the rest of my life, and the prospect of not being able to do so tortures me. I love you, more than I thought I would. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on us."

I gazed at him, "What do you mean?"

"I know this sounds cheesy, but anything is possible if we believe in it. As long as we believe in us, we can make it happen. Because I don't see myself not loving you anytime soon, and I'm going to do anything I can to make us work. That's my promise to you, and I swear to God if I break my promise, I'll be damned-"

My lips crashed into his before he could finish the sentence. The kiss was both desperate and joyful, because he had no idea with every word he said - I could feel tears almost leaking out of my eyes. I don't usually cry, and he had the capability to do so. With everything at stake, every worry and doubt I had in me, his promise made me believe once and for all. 

There were so many things about love I had to learn.

The first lesson was believing in it.

When we broke away, he stared at me. To regain myself, I kissed him quickly again. "Don't say that, I don't want my boyfriend dying just yet." I swallowed. "I believe in you, and I believe in us."

He smiled. That wonderful, goddamned smile.