Jennie sighed with a smile on her face and I turned to her and asked how it went with her and yoongi. I listened, laughed and got giddy with her and cried with her as relived and poured everything to me. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." I wiped my tears away.

"Would it have made a difference?" She laughed, wiping her own tears.

"Yes! I would've been there to beat senses to yoongi." 

"You know how stubborn he could get especially when he's angry."

"And you know he could never win against me."

"True." We laughed and then she sighed.

"Tell me, what's been bothering you?"

"What? Psh. What are you talking about?" I nonchalantly looked around the room. The rain is still pouring heavily outside.

"Yah kim jisoo! You can tell me everything right?"  I stared at her for a while and breathed in deep.

"Including some juicy details of the honeymoon pace." I burst out laughing

"Yah! I was getting ready!"

"Haha. What? I told you about what happened between me and yo- suga..."

"But not the details! You just told how it felt but not the everything. Just a brief summary like how you were nervous about doing it, how you felt so pretty and loved but not the *ehem* (I prepared my best narrator voice) he gulped as he saw me and I gasped seeing his huge weapon ughh--"

"Yah!" Jennie shrieked as she slapped a pillow to my face. We bursted laughing and had a pillow fight for a while.

"Okay! okay! We are not YET swerving on that topic, let me rephrase it. You know you could always tell me what's bothering you right? Be it financial or gender crises or hidden crime. You get what I'm saying." I chuckled and the laughter died down. I cleared my throat and poured everything that's been troubling me ever since we started dating.

"At first, everything was so perfect. Perfect in the sense that there was always time. Time for each other no matter how busy we got. Oh who am I kidding? No matter how busy HE got. Cause he got7!" I joked to lighten up. Jennie chuckled but kept quiet.

"Of course there are fights. It's inevitable for couples. Being in a relationship does not mean it's all rainbows and sunshine."

"True. That's why sometimes just because you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you're happy and being single makes you lonely." 

"Exactly. But it's not that I'm not happy. I am! Who wouldn't? But... being in a normal relationship is hard enough, how much for our situation right? My husband.. is not that showy when it comes to affection but that's because that's always how he's been, being very cautious of his surroundings so I guess. He could be very sweet when we're alone though, in a closed space or anywhere that no knows him. But sometimes..."

"Sometimes?" Jennie's brows met and I felt my eyes sting.

"I'm scared." Jennie gasped and grabbed my arm

"Does he hurt you?!"

"Oh my gosh no! It's just..." I cleared my throath to keep it from shaking.

"I think I'm going crazy! I've been having this inner turmoil going on..."

"Oh no.."

"I know! I know. And it's not healthy. It's just I don't have anyone I could let it out to you know? Not even my mom. Specially not to my husband, he might think I'm crazy and leave me." I couldn't help but cry.

"Then tell me everything now. And let it all go. From this moment, everything you've been thinking. Let it all out on me and free your mind of it and if there's a new thing that bothers you, I'm now only a call away. Got it?" I nodded.

"I guess being with him made me paranoid. I wasn't like this before."

"I know. Now I want that jisoo back." I smiled.

"Before I became his girlfriend, of course I already have thoughts about what-if-I-become-his-girlfriend. I think almost all fan girls think about how it would be if their bias becomes their boyfriend and of course you build scenarios on that and I was originally scared. I'm a fan of other groups too and I have my fair share of bias but jinyoung has always been number one. Like he is the love of my life but the others are just my crushes."

"Crushes huh, never had crushes. I only had eye for yoo-suga. Never thought about that."

"Well there are two types of girls... actually 4."

"Four?" Jennie raised a brow.

"Yes, one, the you type. Yes, you agree with good looks and all but doesn't really develop any crushes, and only set eyes to one person once you've found them."

"Two, I'm guessing the you type? Ogling on almost all guys you approve but loyal to one?" 

"Good. You're keeping up." She laughed.

"Okayy. And the other two?"

"Three, the girls who doesn't have any care about guys cause they don't swing that way..."

"Oh. Right. Haha. And the fourth?"

"The inborn . Who wants to have it all as long as she wants it. May it be taken or not. And doesn't care if she's dating 2 or 3 at the same time" We both laughed at the last one.

"Well anyway... normally you'd imagine how you'll meet, how he'll react to you, how he'll fall for you and how you'll live happily ever after. But I got to think that I'm crazily in love with this guy but what do I really know about him? That's one of the reasons why I'm actually scared of meeting him personally, of knowing him personally. Cause what if I love him so much but he doesn't meet my expectations to the guy I'm seeing and reading about on screen? Especially about fact checks, documents online could easily be manipulated specially when it comes to those. But I dismissed the thought thinking I was so silly for over thinking that is 99% surely won't happen anyway and so if I meet him what are the odds that he'll fall for me right? But HA! Joke's on me. He totally caught me off guard. I wasn't realizing that I was literally living the dream."

"I think I get where you're going at..."

"Everything happened spontaneously that I had no time to digest everything and just let the spur of the moment capture me and when everything settled, the sudden buzz started to clear and I felt like I was left in the middle of the ocean. Alone."

"So it's like, you got so wasted and did everything on your bucket list and when you woke up, you've finished everything on the list and realize you've actually really done it."

"Exactly. So when we started to be together, the fact that I'm dating an idol for real slapped me hard on the face when we had our first real date outside the library. After 2 weeks when I said yes to be his girlfriend. We were supposed to be on a romantic date but it felt like we were criminals on a run instead. I was so overwhelmed I excused myself to the bathroom and panicked,  I needed to think straight so I said I was not feeling well and he walked me home. But when I got home I totally broke down! But after a while I cleared my head and organized my thoughts and recalled everything that happened and how it went to that point. And when I was done, I realize that no, he did not meet my expectations cause he exceeded it and that's when I knew that what I've felt for him when we first met was real. I am madly deeply in love with my boyfriend."

"Buuut..."

"But the fact that he is still an idol, a rising one at that had me gone nuts! All my insecurities ate me, and I doubted myself. I became so paranoid I over think. Like, he never made me feel less jennie-ah. That's why I became his wife. But even then, everyday, every time we're together there