Every time we walk through the doors of an emergency department in the hospital, the first thing that we might see is people waiting for many reasons. Some are waiting for their turn to get consultations from doctor, some are in pain waiting to get their treatment and maybe some people are just there waiting for a miracle that their family will survive the critical phase. 

 

Try to take a deep breath, Rae In never know what to expect everyday. It could be the day with almost no critical patient or at peak times there could be a crowd of people waiting to be seen for various reasons. Carrying a mission— the emergency department will do everything possible to save the patient as quickly as they can.

 

“Damn I’m so hungry” She groaned. It is only 11 am but she already feel her stomach growl and wonder why the hell she is hungry again. Didn’t she just have her breakfast? Oh, wait. It was almost 5 hours ago. By noon she’ve already been at work for 6 hours.

 

It just another day that Rae In got extra sensitive with him. How could he just forget the exact date of their wedding? She knew that he didn’t like the whole idea of this marriage at the beginning but that was the past. He said that he love her and their marriage, so she think that at least he could make effort to at least remember the date. In few days it will be their fifth year of anniversary and she even apply a leave just to spend the special day with him on that day. But Sehun just spoil her excited mood with their argument this morning. 

 

“Yeah babe I can’t believe that we’ve come this far” She pause, “It’s been five years since we got married to each other” 

 

“We got married for five years already?” He asked her for confirmation. 

 

“Don’t tell me that——“ She glares at him. “You don’t remember when is our anniversary?!” 

 

Sehun is sweating, trying to come out with an excuse. “Its not that I’m not remember—- it just—— I got confuse?”

 

“Oh Lord! I can’t believe you Sehun!” She left him alone. 

 

She don’t want to be that kind of wife that overthink too much and start to doubt her own husband but it just she felt like Sehun is slowly changed. She just don’t want the same things happen again. This time she couldn’t afford to loose him. The day that she went to his office actually has made her felt so insecure. Rae In believe that Sehun didn’t have anything with his PA but she couldn’t help when his PA was so hot, pretty and y. What if Sehun like her? Or what if she seduce him? What if they actually have affair behind her? 

 

“There is no way he will cheat on you Rae In” Her teammates, Dr Sandara reassures her. 

 

Rae In sigh, “I should just believe in him right?” She added. “But I was so mad that he didn’t remember our wedding date. Like this is our fifth anniversary not the first one”

 

“Wohooo—- girls! What are guys gossiping about? Tell me!”

 

They were in the hospital cafeteria when Dr Taeyang come and interrupted their conversation. Three of them were in the same group in their residency year. Thankfully that they get along so well and very helpful towards each other. She always said to them that she probably couldn’t lasted this residency if they wouldn’t be there. 

 

Especially when she was the only one who got that fierce doctor as her supervisor. She still remembered how tough their first month experience as an intern in this hospital. It when they have worked more than 80 hours on a general-surgery rotation, wrote a long report for her patient case, checking patients vital signs, and not to forget when they are the one who calmed her when she cried because of Dr Choi. 

 

Rae In was still having her lunch when suddenly Sehun call to meet her for awhile in the hospital lobby.

 

“What do you want Sehun?” She asked when suddenly he handled her his tie. What a lame excuse to used. 

 

“Do it for me?” He pleads, “Please baby, I’m so sorry” 

 

She probably still mad at him, but she just couldn’t reject his aegyo. “Alright Sehun. But I want a special dinner for our anniversary celebration” 

 

He giggles, “Anything for my queen” 

 

Her quick meeting with Sehun only lasted for awhile before she had been called due to emergency case in the ER. This time, the admission case was a bit different. Lot of different.

 

---

 

As she walks to the ER, She could hear the raging screams across the room. The voice was screaming, so loud over and over again. It was a new admission. 15 years teenage boy with a case of poisoning, was shifted from the local government clinic by the ambulance. She entered the ER and saw four medical assistant struggling with a boy, he must be patient that the nurse reported to her. The patient had torn his cuffs— he was cuffed due to his aggressiveness and was kicking and thrashing using all his might. He has injured two of the paramedics badly. 

 

The basic procedures whenever they get a poisoning case usually include stomach pumped, feeding tube put, IV drops, medicine given to counteract with effects of poisoning, blood samples sent, urinary catheter and others sometimes can be painful and it is understandable for patients getting scared. However, this patient was not just scared. he was angry and went out of control. He just trashed that area. All the medicine, monitors and others equipment were pushed on floor. He forcefully removed the IV drips from his hand and it started bleeding. 

 

“Stop!” Rae In shouted. “Don’t be afraid— I’ll help you” When she tried to stop him, he slapped her and left gashes on her arm. 

 

He’s shaking, “Don’t come near me! I don’t want to die!”

 

“We wouldn’t let you die. Trust me” Rae In slowly made her way to patient to calm him down.

 

It seems like he was giving up “Are you sure that— I wouldn’t die?” 

 

“Yes. Believe me” She had no idea whether she could promise her but she just did.

 

The patient was transferred into the ward as he got stable. The situation that she just experienced in the ER was totally one of a kind. Once step wrong, she could get hurt, or worse she will be killed. After done with the charting and case report, she finally done with her evening round. When she came out as to get some break, she saw the patient mother was surrounded by the concerned family and friends, who most probably just come to visit him. 

 

Rae In watch her from afar, his mother have all those kinds of expressions in her face. Sad, tired, worried— she believed that it way beyond that. Her eyes were puffy and there is a hint of redness on her nose, she must be crying all the time. It was hard enough to see the patient suffered and Rae In believed that it will be harder for his mother to accept it. She just want her son to be healthy as usual. 

 

He was diagnosed with liver failure and the only treatment for him would be a liver transplant. A nurse walks over and tells her that patient family wants to speak with the doctor. Rae In kind of looked back blankly at the nurse, shrugged her shoulders and said, “Alright then?” She asked the nurse again. The nurse shook her head and simply explained, “She means you … Doctor Rae In” This is the first time it happened, well intern not usually be the one to consult with the family.

 

“Doctor....how about my son?” That woman in her 40s asked. 

 

Rae In smiles, patting her back to comfort her. “Don’t worry, I believe that he’ll be fine if he get the right treatment in the hospital”

 

“You mean.......by doing the liver transplant?” Rae In could see the worries in her eyes. 

 

“Yes Mrs Hae. As Dr Choi mentioned before, there is a donor for your son. We just need you to be agree and we’ll proceed with the surgery”

 

Her grip on Rae In hands has loosened, her eyes fixed on the ground. “But—- I can’t—- the cost of the surgery.......”

 

It turned out that actually she already aware about her son health problems but due to the financial circumstances, she couldn’t proceed with the treatment for his sickness. During a little talk with Mrs Hae, Rae In found out that she is a single mother who just have to raise up her 3 kids alone. Her husband was died in the accident last year and her family was having a financial problem since then. Medical treatment fees was expensive enough and this liver transplant surgery will definitely cost her a lot. In other words, she couldn’t afford it.

 

She remembered that Dr Choi told her during the consultation that this patient didn’t have so much times left as he was in a critical state. Her heart was broken when his mother crying continuously apologizing because he was trying to hurt her in the ER earlier. Mrs Hae herself couldn't believe her son that used to be cheerful are now lying in the hospital bed and going to die a certain death. That’s when she decided to pay for the surgery and treatment with the hope that he will survive it. Rae In didn’t asked her to pay back or even work for her. She help her sincerely hoping that it will bring back her smile. It wouldn’t be so bad right to help people in need? 

 

She thought. But well—- she was wrong. 

 

“You have a lot of money...I know that. But this is not a fcking charity place Dr Rae In!” Rae In was startled when her supervisor yelled at her. 

 

Dr Choi was so mad, very mad. “Do you know that what are you doing right now is wrong? Especially for an intern like you!” He added. 

 

Rae In had her head looking on the floor all time. She felt like something was stuck in that stop her to utter any words.

 

“Answer me Dr Rae In!” It seems like a bad  idea for her to keep silent. 

 

“I’m aware with the hospital protocol and that the staff can’t pay the fees for the patient. I know that.....that’s why I’m using my— my husband company name to pay for that” She finally had courage to replied. 

 

He smirk. “Aha— now you want to brag to me about your husband? Mr Oh the president of multimillionaire company is it? Another spoil brat from rich family who simply can just throw away money just like that? I guess that your husband are no different from you, using your family name just to be success. You guys don’t even know what hardship is....am i right?”

 

“I’m sorry to be rude but you have no right to said anything about my husband like that Dr Choi! This was a personal attack and this has nothing to do with my work!” She couldn’t bear any longer to heard all the insults that he said. 

 

“You shouldn’t be triggered if that wasn’t true Dr Rae In. Both of you are from a well known family and got married early...let me guess, arranged marriage?” 

 

She was taken aback, totally didn’t expect that. “That—- that wasn’t even your problem Dr Choi” 

 

He smirks again. Rae In curse in her head that she wish she could just slap his face with that annoying smirk. That . 

 

“Sure Mrs Oh Rae In. I gotta keep my mouth close or I might get sue by you right? Surely I don’t want to leave my job” 

 

She don’t know how to explain it but every time she heard someone said bad things about Sehun, she will be triggered. She has grow sensitive on every single thing about her husband. It is her responsibility to defend him and to make sure that no one will step on his pride. Nobody includes her own residency supervisor. She does respect him because of his work, his specialty and she even acknowledged him as one of the best doctor she ever known but he just shouldn’t said anything bad about him, hell no he wasn’t even know Sehun personally. 

 

The biggest problem for Rae In was that she can get a hot head and don't back down if she felt someone was attacking her. But she didn’t want to get messed up, Dr Choi is her supervisor and there is no way that she just give up just because of him. She’s not going to quit. Not again and Sehun surely will be mad if she did. Plus, attacking a person doesn't fix the problem, in fact it just wastes energy on needless emotion. All she could do is just to bear with him. One strategy she always use for biting her tongue is to imagine it's the worst day in the life of whoever is yelling at her— the one and only Dr Choi Seunghyun. 

 

---

 

As a human being, we seeks for the power to speak and express our own opinions. But for Rae In as the intern, she can only defend herself as soon as she complete her residency. Until then, she have to stay quiet and simply say "Sorry. My fault. I will fix it." This is where the power of seniority and position are everything. As the intern in the hospital, they need to have the mindset that this is some sort of military battle field and they are at the lowest rank. 

 

They will be a situation that their senior were doing a mistake— but there is no way to correct your seniors even if you are right or way better than them. That’s the rule to live by the medical residents. They have responsibilities to make sure the patients don't get mistreated but aside from that, they need to keep sealing their mouth. They can only daydream about how they will do things differently when they’re senior later. 

 

Part of the learning experience of intern year is learning how to work with difficult personalities. Well in Rae In case, it was Dr Choi. Some people might never learn this and don't do well— all this kind of things they weren’t learned in the med school. It's all about having a good attitude and being a team player. There will be a situation when the seniors will cover for underlings and take the blame to protect their team while the worst ones will throw the victim under the bus to get blamed. There are few interns who experienced this. But either way, Rae In know that she have to be ready to assume blame and offer to fix things because she had to do it to survive.

 

“Tough day is it? It will get better when you becoming MD later” She weakly nodded to his words.

 

The head or ER, Dr Kwon Jiyong was the epitome of calm, caring, professionalism tried to reassure her as they walked together for noon round.  

 

He smiles before added, “I heard that you have your first surgery assistant experience today. I’m sure you did well” 

 

“You mean getting kicked out from the OR by my own supervisor? Thank you for your sarcasm Dr Kwon”

 

It all happened in this morning. Dr Choi Seunghyun the head of surgeon had a minor surgery on his patient. Being his intern, Rae In was asked by him to be his assistant for the surgery. She was hyped since it always been one of her goal to be assist in the OR, even though she never wish to become a surgeon. This would be once in a lifetime experience as she will be assist the surgery done by one of the best surgeon in Seoul general hospital and he hardly give anyone chance like this. Surgery can be really dangerous, even for simple procedures. In some cases, a patient can be injured or killed on the operating table because of mistakes made by the doctor or nurse. 

 

Unfortunately Rae In already made her first mistake as soon as she started. It was involved with the almost wrong amounts of anesthesia given to the patient. It could lead to the most serious and most fatal surgery errors. If too little anesthesia is given, a patient could wake up during surgery and have to suffer terrible pain but If it is given too much, it could be the lack of oxygen, brain damage or worse, death. She admit that it was her fault that she was getting so nervous on her first trial. She got her chance and she blows out, resulting to Dr Choi immediately kicked her out from the OR afterward. 

 

Dr Kwon told her, "Don't worry about it, everyone make a mistake and you can learn after this. Just...don’t give up. When I was in my residency year, once I even wish that my patient die so that I don’t have to stay awake for another day. That was when I got so stressed and thinking about to give up”

 

“You did?” She was surprised. “Never thought a good doctor like you experienced that”

 

“Everyone having a hard times while being an intern. Dr Choi...he had the worst. He was getting unfair treatment for the whole time”

 

He sigh, “His mother used to be the president at the hospital that he served. Everyone worship him just because of his influence instead of acknowledge him for his talents. That’s why he—-“

 

“Despise me. Because of my background” Rae In continues his words. 

 

“Yes Dr Rae In. He treat you like that because he don’t want you to experienced the same thing like him. He keep pushing you to become a good doctor based on your talents” He added.

 

She shook her head, “But he way to meant to me” 

 

“That’s just Dr Choi attitude. He is the worst among us. We’re best friend. But trust me he is a good person. Let me tell you secret, he was the one who send your research paper for the conference. Even though all the management board didn’t agree because you’re just an intern, he fight for you because he said that you are the best intern that he ever saw. Of course you are! The only intern that last more than 3 months with him when mostly has leave for another supervisor”

 

Dr Kwon stories has some sort open her eyes. She remembered the day when her supervisor who yelled at her immediately lost her respect. It was the day that she thought that her limit was challenged. She just kept shut and continued doing her job. She just take it like a stone and don't let it break her. After all she need to survive to be able complete her journey to become a doctor. 

 

But today when she was asked to his assistant, she was paired with him again. She learned from Dr Kwon that her supervisor was actually very supportive and very helpful. She feel like he deserved a second chance at that point. The previous incident where she got kicked out was a different case. Also, Dr Choi is a perfectionist and he just need to do the best on not to take risk on patient life, which may have influenced his action in the OR earlier.

 

‘It such a very long day’ She sigh.

 

When her pager beeped with a reminder to clock out for the day, she ignored it. The other interns have gone home but today she decided to stay longer to hand off her team patients to the night shift intern. Like many of her fellow residents, she went entire days without eating. She was so tired at the point that her body might be collapsed at any time. Rae In was so drained that she was halfway out the door one day before remembering that she’d left an IV in a patient’s arm.

 

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting for me Mrs Yeo” She slighted bow her head, apologizes to the elder woman. 

 

“It’s okay sweetheart. Don’t worry! I was sleeping for the whole times and forgot about it too. Aigoo this old woman keep forgetting things”

 

Rae In smiles at the regular patient who she have been served for almost 6 months. “You still look amazing Mrs Yeo! Look at that beautiful necklace! Did I smell something new?” She . 

 

“My husband just give me as a gift for our anniversary—-“

 

She gasped when suddenly something come into her mind. “Oh my God! I forgot about my date with my husband tonight! Our anniversary dinner!” 

 

She look into her watch, it was 30 minutes passed 8 pm. Meaning that she was late half an hour late already. Sehun must be mad at her right now. She quickly did her job and bow towards the elder woman. 

 

“Thank you for reminding me Mrs Yeo! I’m promise to buy you something sweet next time!” She said while leaving. 

 

“Cheesecake! And don’t make them less sugar! Have fun on your date Dr Rae In!”

 

---

 

She arrived at the restaurant ten minutes later. It is the Italian restaurant that Sehun once brought her during her college time. The time when she reject his idea and begging to go to the McDonald instead. She was already 40 minutes late for their dinner and she was about to crying when she didn’t saw him. She screwed everything up. She was the one who scold him because he didn’t remember the date of their anniversary yet she is the one who forget to turn up for the dinner night. Rae In felt so bad that her tears are already broke for her eyes. It almost make her goes on her knees on the floor. It was over— she thought.

 

She kept crying over and over again. People in the restaurant are starting to watch her with unreadable expressions on their faces. They saw a doctor who are still in her uniform and latex shoes crying so bad like she just lost something on her way to this restaurant. She was supposed to be on leave today but since she have to assist Dr Choi on the surgery that she didn’t even get to finish, she have to move the leave for the next day. She was rushing to the place that they promised to meet and she forgot to change her clothes. All she could think along the journey is for Sehun not to be upset with her. Or worst, leave her. 

 

“Baby?” She heard the familiar voice from behind. “Oh my God what happened to you? Why are you crying?” 

 

Sehun had to lifted her arm to support while making her stand on her own. He took the strand of hair that almost covered her eyes, tugging behind her ear. He then pull her slowly into his embrace, shush her to stop crying.

 

He kiss her eyes, making her tears go away. “I’m here baby don’t cry”

 

“I— late— forgot— dinner” Rae In couldn’t even speaks properly as she was still sobbing. 

 

“It’s okay baby. I only waiting for you for 15 minutes. Then I went to the florist to get you some flowers while waiting for you to get here”

 

She hides her face into his chest. “I spoilt the fun Sehun. Look at me, I was kind of shabby right now I can’t even enter the restaurant with this look” 

 

“Rae In, you look amazing” He replied.

 

“Stop saying that babe” She added. “My hair was all over the place, I was still in my uniform, I smell like drugs, my face is pale that it look so ugly!”

 

He shook his head in disagreement, “You are thinking too much baby” 

 

“No I don’t Sehun. I don’t deserve you. I didn’t look pretty anymore. Look at me, I wasn’t attractive like before, my body didn’t appear like how you used to like, I didn’t wear make up prettily and I’m not y like Irene! I’m ugly Sehun” Rae In started to cry again. 

 

“Wait.....Oh my God Rae In what were you thinking about. There is no way to compare my beautiful angel with my PA. I got it— you are insecure”

 

She hit him in his chest, “Of course I am! Who wouldn’t if her husband have a hot PA around him all the time?!”

 

He chuckles. “My baby in jealousy is y enough for me” He pecks her in the lips. “She’s off market Rae In. In two weeks she will be getting married to Taemin hyung, my cousin” 

 

At the end of the night they didn’t even have a romantic dinner as they have planned before. They went to McDonald but this time Sehun was the one who suggested. They recalled a good old times as they were together. It surely not a smooth journey, indeed it was full with ups and downs in their relationship but they survive as they got each other. It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s much harder to stay in love with the same person for the rest of one life. They glad that they have been together for 5 years. It never be easy but they are making their best efforts to keep their marriage lasting. 

 

“Congratulations for another wonderful year of falling in love with each other Oh Rae In! Happy anniversary!”

 

“Who said I falling in love with you?” She . She saw the expression on his face slowly changed. “Babe, I’m kidding. I love you more Oh Sehun. Happy anniversary too!”

 

They were lying on their bed cuddling to each other. They surely had a busy day but they couldn’t miss the moment like this to spend together. Even though another year of their marriage has passed, the love they share continues to last. Sometimes they never forget to take a moment to reminisce in the happy memories they have created together and reflect on the lessons learned. They wishes that they will continue to be blessed in love and happiness.

 

His arms was wrapped around her waist and legs overlapping each other. He miss her scent. Her sweet cherry scent that always drive him crazy. He didn’t mind waiting for her to get back from the hospital because later at night he know that she will be safely in his arms, her face pressed into his muscular chest. Rae In already made it as her pillow. It was so comfortable for her.

 

“Baby, I just want you to know that you are still looking beautiful no matter in what conditions. I love you the way you are and I don’t want to feel insecure with anyone because I only have my wife in my heart”

 

She kiss him in between, “Thank you babe. You are the best husband in the world”

 

“You are so fragile Rae In that always make me want to protect you, the most beautiful woman ever. Oh, and not forget to mention that you look dashing in that long white doctor coat”

 

“Uwu did I?” She jumped on top of him, fingers playing with his hair.

 

“But you know..you will look better....” He pause, “.....without your clothes on” He smirks.

 

“Yah Sehun! You don’t have anything better to think beside that, don’t you?” 

 

“Come on! I need my anniversary present!” And the night went on as they started undress each other. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Phewww longest chap ever. Do me a favor by comment down below :) Pleaseeeeee I really need your comments to make my day better