8 days before they kissed again

“Good night Hyung” said Taehyung in front of his bedroom door.

“It’s 7am…” answered Yoongi, his back laid on the wall next to the young man. “We are supposed to be ready at 9… I guess we could say ‘good nap’ then”.

Yoongi ruffled Taehyung’s hair and disappeared in his own room.

As he entered in, he sighed heavily and watched his hand, the one that ran through the stylist head.

‘Taehyung… my first love… I failed you… I am sorry” Yoongi sighed.

It hurt to let go his childhood friend but it hurt more to hold on. Yoongi came to the realization he loved Taesang more than he would admit. But somewhere in his heart, he still loved Taehyung.

What did that mean? How could he love two persons at the same time?

No, that was impossible. He could not love Taesang… and Taehyung. He should give up on one. He should make a choice… And it was painful. But the worst feeling was pretending he did not care about something, when really it was all he seemed to think about. The worst feeling was F.E.A.R.

***

On the other side of the house, Taehyung fell on his bed, grinning from ear to ear. This trip to Daegu went beyond his imagination. He could not believe how he spent the day then the sleepless night with his beloved Hyung contemplating the meteor shower.

The young man touched his lips as a way to relive the sensation of Yoongi’s finger on it – when this one shushed him in one of the Ikea closets.

He then skimmed the corner of his mouth as he remembered how Yoongi wiped the sauce with his thumb while they were having dinner and it.

Finally he touched his cheek remembering how he laid his head against the elder shoulder when they were watching the stars.

Even if Yoongi seemed so unattainable, Taehyung always thought of Him before he fell asleep. The words he said, the way he looked. The things they laughed about, the silent moments they shared. And when he dreamt, he would dream of Him. Because it was about Him, it was always about Him… But this time it was different

This time, Taehyung felt like Yoongi was his boyfriend… this one just did not know it yet…

 ‘Yoongi still does not know who I am’ he thought sadly, his heart twitched.

The stylist did not lie on purpose; he panicked when he did.

Then he convinced himself that he wanted Yoongi to recognize him but now he had no control on the situation.

Could this lie turn them apart?

How the stubborn Yoongi would react?

Taehyung kept so much pain inside himself. The pain of an unrequited love for the elder. A pain filled with doubts. And these doubts had changed him into something he never meant to be: a liar. It had transformed him into a person Yoongi did not recognize: Taesang; but the stylist did not know how to let it go. How to say the truth.

Slowly the young man closed his eyes, tiredness and endless thoughts overwhelmed him; however a weight on the mattress wake him up in a split.

Jimin was sitting on the corner of the bed, legs crossed, carelessly scratching his head.

“It’s 9 am…” he announced with his crescent smile to a weary Taehyung.

“Jimin?” yawned Taehyung, his arm completely numb because he had slept on it wrong.

“How was your trip with Yoongi?” the coach vocal asked playfully.

“Wonderful” the stylist replied before telling his friend how he laughed with the producer, how they shared intense stare in this closet just few inches from each other, how they talked all night long under the starry sky.

“You guys would kiss in less than one week!” teased Jimin before getting up from the bed. “But for now, you need to dress. We are waiting for your sinful in the living room” he laughed.

“I don’t know if we would kiss someday” murmured the stylist in a sad tone.

Jimin put his arm on the other elbow and patted softly.

“You will! It’s a freaking good start. You should be happy about that.”

“I think I’m afraid to be happy” answered Taehyung in the same tone “because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens. I’m constantly afraid that I’m not good enough.”

“You’re good enough!” smiled his friend “You’re more than that you’re perfect! And he knows that!”

Jimin cheered his 95-liner friend a bit more and left the room to give him time to have a quick shower before joining the rest of the group. When the stylist finally did, Yoongi was already here, drinking his coffee while watching the landscape through the window, focused but also lost in his own world somehow.

“You look handsome in this outfit!” smiled Jimin giving the stylist a not so discreet wink. “What do you think Hyung?” asked the vocal coach to Yoongi giving him a nudge to get his attention.

Taehyung blushed and glanced at Yoongi but this one did not look at him.

“We already lost too much time. Let’s go!” the producer answered coldly.

“Did you sleep well Hyung?” asked the stylist with a shy smile trying to catch Yoongi outside the house.

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