Sehun stares at the calendar in his bathroom. A familiar sigh escapes his mouth when he gazes through the dates. Tomorrow is the day. It has been seven years since he avoided the day but this time, there’s no way he could avoid it. Tomorrow is his first day in his new job and he cannot escape all the balloons, flowers and confessions. He has to spend his time thinking about the love that has broken his heart. He has to spend his time faking a smile as if he is okay with listening couples confessing their loves, giving gifts and kissing. He has to fake his smile, show the world that he is okay alone during Valentine’s Day.

Sehun’s story goes back to the younger years of his life. He was six and his mother had told him to go to school. The little Sehun was reluctant to go to school. He was awkward at making friends and the lisp he had wasn’t a good sign. But, his mother had told him that he can always tell his teachers when the kids are making fun of him. So, Sehun went to school. In school, he was frightened with the amount kids of his age running and screaming so he sat at a corner, alone, until a teacher spotted him.

She was kind. She helped him say his name and none of the kids laughed at him. Sehun sat next to a boy who is just about his height. Sehun stared at the boy for some time, wanting to make friends. Sehun really wanted to befriend the boy. He remembered his mother’s words but the boy looked extremely sleepy and his long hair was making it difficult for Sehun to look into the boy’s eyes. Sehun ditched his plan to make friends.

One day, they were all playing in the small playground in their nursery. Sehun had wanted to play the see-saw with his table mate – the sleepy eyed boy who he finally knew the name. Kai was on the other end of the see-saw asking loudly if anyone wants to be his partner. Sehun was shocked when he found out that Kai is opposite of what he looked. Kai is actually a hyperactive kid and everyone loves him. Sehun put his hands up and rushed to the see-saw to be Kai’s partner but a girl went over the seat and pushed Sehun aside. Dumbfounded, Sehun stared at the girl who was on the seat, looking so happy and he is on his pained bottom. Sehun stood up and turned around sadly. He hated the girl so much. He hated her ponytail and he hated her piercing voice.

“Wait,”

Sehun heard Kai’s voice and he turned around to see Kai jumping off the see-saw to run towards him. Little Sehun waited for Little Kai to reach him. He stared at Kai with his glassy eyes and Kai looked at him from his toes up to his body. Kai asked if he was alright and Sehun nodded. The evil girl was staring at Sehun and Sehun gave her an icy glare back.

The next round, something similar happened. It was the same girl but this time, Sehun has his knee and palm scraped. He cried, and cried. The blood was fresh and the pain pierced his skin. The pain was too much for Sehun’s pale skin and he grew red from his face and the pained area. The other kids were gathering around him and the evil girl was hiding. A teacher came running to him and she carried him to the staffroom to get his wound cleaned. She asked him who pushed him and between soft sobs and hiccups, Sehun told the teacher the girl’s name. Sehun limped out with his nose red, eyes glassy and tears threatened to fall each second. Kai was the first to run to Sehun and he helped Sehun walk. Kai didn’t say anything to him but the warmth from Kai’s hands over his arm made the pain go away.

Kai kept looking at Sehun when they were back at their table. Sehun was wiping his tears and snot. “I have a trick to make the pain go away…” Kai spoke and Sehun looked at Kai hopefully. Kai leaned into Sehun’s space and lands a peck on Sehun’s lips. Sehun stares dumbly at Kai and he hears his other friends cheering loudly as they witnessed the kiss. “My mommy said, kisses can make pain go away…” Kai tried explaining himself but Sehun was too distracted by the banging in his small chest.

A week later, Sehun passes Kai a gift his mother packed. Sehun’s mother had told him that Kai is a nice friend and Sehun must thank Kai properly. So they were out, buying sweets and chocolates for Kai. Sehun was the one who picked each sweets and chocolates. Each of it is his favourite and Sehun wanted Kai to try all his favourite candies. Kai beamed happily when he realizes the packet and asked Sehun what it was. “Thank you.” Sehun said and Kai opened the packet happily and screamed in excitement. His scream was too loud for Sehun’s ears but Sehun liked the smile and happiness on Kai’s face.

Sehun started to frown when everyone started to circle Kai for a candy. Sehun wanted to chase them away, scold them that those candies are Kai’s alone but before he could, Kai was already giving one each and the last one that was left, was the candy that Sehun least liked. Sehun ignored Kai after that. Sehun started to dislike Kai after that.

26 years old Sehun takes another deep sigh as the memory of his stupid young self. The candy jar on his table fills with the same candies Sehun had bought for Kai at that time. In the silence of his empty apartment, Sehun takes one strawberry candy and unwraps. The pink and white stripes of the candy remind him of the colours of his high school life.

Teenage Sehun had a hard time especially when Teenage Kai was a total eye candy. His plan to avoid Kai in high school failed when Kai remembered him. The handsome, tall Kai keep smiling at Sehun giving Sehun the unwanted attention from everyone else. Kai was the school’s famous boy and Sehun was a nobody. Every time Kai looked at him and smiles at him, Sehun avoided the feeling in his chest. There was something about the feeling in his chest which he was yet to understand. The thundering, the constant banging and pin prickles was too much for Sehun.

Days passed, months passed and they were a year older. Sehun finally understands the feeling he felt. He likes Kai. Somehow, as they grow older each second, Kai stopped smiling at Sehun. Kai was always circled by a group of friends who were equally popular and friendly. Sehun wasn’t in any of those categories. He was still awkward and that made him a loner.

From the distance of his table, Sehun watched Kai and admired the other who seemed to be getting more charming day by day. They were in different classes, therefore Sehun treasured his recess time to eat and look at Kai. His heart bloomed when Kai laughed. The crinkles of Kai’s eyes fluttered his heart and Sehun looked away to avoid getting caught smiling to himself. Kai was loud and Sehun loved Kai’s changing voice. His own voice was weird and it cracks it the most embarrassing way. But Kai, everything about him is just nice.

Oh, he was in love.

One day, at the only time Sehun gets the chance to see Kai, he spotted a girl on the table Kai usually sits. She was clinging to Kai and she was talking with Kai’s friends. Sehun frowned deeply, wondering to himself who is she. Kai was smiling to her. Sehun scowled deeper. The question in his head starts to eat him up.

“Stop staring nerd.” Sehun heard someone tell him with a kick on his table. His cup full of juice toppled and Sehun jumped out of the way before the juice flows onto his pants. He sighed, looking at the mess and he heard some familiar voices laughing at him. Sehun turned to see Kai and everyone else laughing at him. Sehun left the hall with a pained heart and a picture of Kai’s face in his head.

Sehun’s strings of heartbreak started from that day on until the final year of his high school. Throughout those times, he witnessed Kai touching the girl in a way that it made her giggle and ticklish, he saw them hold hands and Sehun caught them escaping classes together. There are more to it which he was sure he didn’t know. He was more hurt thinking that the couple might have kissed and could have probably done more. They were teenagers after all.

It was prom night. Sehun didn’t want to go but his mother was more excited than he is. Sehun wasn’t excited about it at all knowing that he will have to watch Kai and the girl get too friendly for his poor eyes and weak heart. Yet he went, and he watched everything that he had guessed. Kai was wearing a suit that showcased his broad shoulders and long legs. The girl was wearing a dress and Sehun told himself that she did look pretty. They were dancing, kissing and everyone cheered for them.

Sehun turned around from the dance floor to have his drink, alone. He wiped his tears and sighed deeply. He made up his might to stop thinking about Kai. He decided to stop feeling things for Kai.

“Sehun…” Sehun heard his name and turned around to find Kai standing behind him. Kai asked Sehun about his teary eyes and Sehun lied about dust getting into his eyes. Kai sat next to Sehun and Sehun got aware of all the eyes on him.

“Why didn’t we speak all these while?” Kai asked and Sehun gulped his drink – juice. Sehun took some time to answer, staring deep into his empty glass. “You stopped talking to me since we were kids. Did anything happen that I don’t know of?” Kai asked and Sehun genuinely wanted to cry and pour his heart out. “How do I tell you that I hated it so much when you shared all the candies with everyone?” The question died in his head. Sehun realized he is possessive of Kai.

He heard Kai’s sigh and took a glance, “I notice you looking at me Sehun. Your emotionless face…” Kai pauses, taking a deep breath and Sehun felt his heart hammer in his chest. “Your face can hide your feelings Sehun, but not your eyes.”

Sehun stared at his glass again. His chest started to get heavier and his mind encouraged him to confess. They are not meeting each other anymore after this. This is the last year of their high school and college will take them to different routes.

“So you must know how I feel about you all these years?” Sehun finally spoke. His lisp was gone and his voice was much better than it used to be. Kai stiffened beside Sehun. “I hated it so much when you shared all the candies with everyone in the class. I chose them for you. I chose all my favourite candies and chocolates for you to try but you gave it away. I hate watching you with your girlfriend. I hate it that I am possessive over you.”

Sehun mentally congratulated himself that he did not cry when he confessed. The 26 years old Sehun scoffed at the memory of his pathetic confession. He clearly remembers Kai’s horrified face. There was a silence between them and Sehun left the prom hall with a lesser burden in his heart. Sehun’s phone vibrates on the table and he shifts to take it. It’s a message from his service provider. A friendly message, wishing all their customers The V-Day and gifts twenty minutes free call. Sehun closes the message and leans his head against the headrest of his couch. There’s a long sigh escaping from his mouth as he spent all his previous V-Day eve with the same memories. He is doing it again – thinking about Kai.

“I should move on.” He whispers to himself, - and that was what he