Dreaming

            I was a nervous wreck all spring, wondering if Ryeowook would join Siwon and Heechul when they came to visit with the pups.  They planned to visit two months before Ryeowook’s mating ceremony was scheduled, just to make it more likely that he would be permitted to come, but I did not know for sure if he was coming until the day the group showed up.  And although I promised I would go to see him if he didn’t come with, I wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to go about doing that without making his father wonder. 

            The moment I heard the carriages pulling up to the den, I ran out to greet them.  Heechul was waving out the window of the carriage and I ran over to the other side and nearly ripped the door open, looking for Ryeowook.  He was seated across from Heechul, holding onto his nephew.  Seeing him was like seeing a beacon of light at sea on a stormy night.  I had been lost without him for so long.  I felt so relieved knowing he was back with me again, even if the days were numbered.

            Ryeowook saw me and smiled brightly.  Then he handed the toddler over to me so he could get out of the carriage.  I looked over the little boy.  He looked like Siwon, a little tall and with dimples.  The boy started crying immediately once he realized I was holding him and Ryeowook took him back from me as soon as he was on the ground.

            “You poor thing,” Ryeowook cooed.  “Did scary cousin Kyu touch you?”

            “I’m scary?  One of his father’s is Heechul,” I pointed out, picking up the bag that Ryeowook had carried out of the carriage with him.  “One would think he’d be clamoring for someone to take him out of that carriage and rescue him.”

            “He’s never seen you before,” Ryeowook said, resting the boy on his hip.  “And he is very fond of me.  You two have something in common.”

            “We do,” I admitted, walking around the carriage beside him.  “And I am very happy you were able to make it.”

            “My brother had to convince my father that Heechul required my assistance with the pups to make the trip.  It isn’t exactly a lie.  They’re a handful and don’t want to sit still in the carriage.  Your aunt and Sora will help us out now that we’ve arrived, but Heechul wouldn’t have been able to handle them alone en route.”

            “Speaking of aunts,” I whispered, watching as my aunt rushed out of the den and down the stairs.  The moment Eunjin caught sight of us, she stole her grandson away from Ryeowook.  Although the boy didn’t know her any better than me—he certainly didn’t remember her from her brief visit last summer—he seemed to sense a grandma energy from her and didn’t start crying again.  She began babbling in baby talk to him immediately and he was confused enough not to panic. 

            “Kyuhyunnie, be a dear and show our guest to his room,” she said, still in baby talk, shooing us away.  She obviously didn’t want the little one changing his mind about her and crying for his uncle.

            “Right this way, cousin,” I said, waving him up the stairs.

            Ryeowook smacked my arm.  “Behave yourself.”

            “Never,” I vowed, following him up.  I led him down to the west wing and up a flight of stairs.  We stopped outside of his room, but before I urged him inside, I pointed across the hall.  “Speaking of misbehavior, you’re in the room across the hall from me.”

            Ryeowook glanced over at the door across the hall and then looked back up at me with wide eyes.  “Across the hall?  I thought you lived outside of the den now.”

            “Like I’m going to sleep somewhere else when you’re visiting,” I said, shaking my head and opening the door to his room.  “Although it might be best if you didn’t mention how close our rooms are to your brother.  They’re in the east wing, with my aunt and uncle and Leeteuk and Sora.”

            Ryeowook grinned at me and took his luggage from me.  “Are you coming in?”

            “Are you sure that’s a good idea?  Is your brother going to notice we both disappeared?”

            “Probably, but not for a good ten minutes or so.  He’ll be busy greeting everyone first.”

            I walked into the room and kicked the door shut behind me.  Then I grasped Ryeowook’s shoulders and kissed him hard.  He dropped the bag and reached up to cup my face, raising up on his tiptoes to close the distance between us. 

            “I missed you so much,” I mumbled against his lips. 

            He bit down on my bottom lip, perhaps to punish me for talking instead of kissing him more.  So, I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him off his feet and slipped my tongue into his mouth, kissing him thoroughly, trying to memorize how it felt.  I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to kiss him again, once he left.  All the lasting impressions I intended to make had to be done in the next couple weeks.

            We kissed for so long, I began to get a little breathless and finally pulled my lips away.  I buried my nose into his neck and inhaled deep.  That’s when I noticed it.  There was something different about his scent.  It was more pungent than I remembered. 

            “You smell different,” I breathlessly said, my lips brushing against his skin.

            “I stopped taking my suppressants last week.”

            I should have known.  Heechul had gone off his suppressants a couple months before mating with Siwon as well.  I’d forgotten that Heechul’s scent changed because it never affected me.  I’m his cousin.  But, unlike what everyone in Ryeowook’s pack liked to think, I was not Ryeowook’s cousin.  And the change in his scent only attracted me to him more.

            I pressed a long, lingering kiss against his neck.  “You smell even better than normal.”

            Ryeowook laughed and angled his head away, clearly a little ticklish.  He probably thought I was just teasing him, but I was being very, very serious.  In fact, it was the first time I’d felt such an overwhelming urge to mark him.  It took all my willpower to set him back down and back away.  All of it!  He looked a little disappointed to suddenly be released. 

            “Later,” I promised him.  “We have to go back out there in a couple minutes and need to look presentable.  Besides, I have a surprise for you,” I said, grabbing onto his hand and heading for the door.  Ryeowook willingly followed until we crossed the hall and stopped in front of the door to my bedroom.

            “If my brother catches me in your room, there will be hell to pay,” Ryeowook warned.

            I laughed.  As if I wouldn’t walk through hell for him.  In fact, that sounded a little easier than letting him mate some stranger.  “I wasn’t going to ask you to come in, but the surprise is somewhere inside.”

            “Somewhere?”

            “He’ll probably run for the door once I open it,” I said, cracking the door open.  Sure enough, Kiki dashed for the open door and I had to scoop him up to keep him from escaping.

            “Kiki!” Ryeowook cried, immediately stealing the cat from me.  “My love!”

            “Hey!”

            Ryeowook rocked and pet his beloved cat.  “I think daddy’s been feeding you too much.  You look pudgy.”

            I shrugged my shoulders.  I lived alone with one cat who acted indifferent to me most of the time, as most cats do, accept when I fed him.  I might have overindulged him a little, just to feel loved.  “Well, he misses you.  I keep telling him he shouldn’t drown his sorrows with food, but he doesn’t listen and just keeps eating.”

            Ryeowook grinned.  “I don’t want to part with him now.”

            “You can’t bring him downstairs with you.  The minute my nephews see him, they change into wolves and chase him around the den.  They’re going through a phase right now and think playing hunting games are entertaining.”

            “Maybe I could bring him to my room,” Ryeowook suggested.

            “You could, but when he gets mad that daddy’s not coming back and freaks out that he’s stuck with a stranger, he’s probably going to piss on all your clothes and meow all night for me,” I warned him.

            Ryeowook frowned.

            “What did you think was going to happen when you gave him to me?” I asked, rescuing Kiki, who was desperately trying to get out of Ryeowook’s arms.  “He hasn’t seen you in a year.”

            Life really wasn’t fair.  Ryeowook loved the cat more and deserved to have the cat love him back, but the concept of love is already difficult enough for cats.  Kiki really only tolerated me living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed as him, most days.  But I didn’t feel as sympathetic as I maybe should have because Ryeowook was loved, to the point it was painful. 

            I opened the door and tossed Kiki back into the room.  “You have two weeks to work on him.  Feel free to steal him from me anytime you want.”

            Ryeowook nodded, glancing at the door to my room.  “I’ll come to your room later tonight and play with him for a while.”

            As much as I wanted to tell him he could just waltz into my bedroom anytime he wanted to visit Kiki and I, what happened in his own bedroom only a few minutes before was a wake-up call to me.  If he came into my room, I would have trouble stopping myself from taking things further with him.  His pheromones were stronger and my willpower was slipping more and more, each time I saw him.

            I shook my head.  “Ryeonggu…you can’t come into my room.”

            Ryeowook gave me a confused look.  He truly had no idea.  “I can’t?”

            “It isn’t a good idea,” I simply said, hoping h