“Thank you all for coming to celebrate as a small engagement party with us,” Johnny announces to everyone as we’re just about finished our meals. I sit next to him in awkward silence.

            “Congratulations Johnny and Madisen,” Taeyong raises his glass and everyone follows in his actions.

-

            “Well I had fun with everyone,” Johnny collapses onto our bed.

            “Yeah, it was fun,” I sit next to him. “I’m still awkward though.”

            “It’ll be fine, you’ll get less awkward with larger groups of people,” he chuckles.

            “I hate being socially awkward…” I sigh.

            “Babe, it’s fine,” Johnny sits up again and wraps his arms around my waist. “I love you,” he kisses my cheek softly.

            “I love you too,” I smile and turn my head to look at him. I quickly kiss his lips.

-

            It’s been about a week since the engagement party. Johnny and I have slowly been trying to make some decisions for the wedding.

            “Madi, I’m about to leave,” I hear Johnny’s voice call from somewhere in the house. I forgot he made plans to go out today…

            I’ve not been feeling well the last couple of days, so practically living in the bathroom to vomit has been my life.

            “Babe!” I hear him call out again. A few moments of silence pass until it’s broken by the sound of knocking on the other side of the bathroom door. “Babe?” he repeats himself, this time as a question.

            Before I can answer him, I empty the contents of my stomach for about the third time today.

            “Madisen?!” Johnny’s voice is filled with worry. “Baby, are you okay?” he asks as he enters the bathroom.

            “Johnny, please don’t come in here,” I plead before letting out a sigh.

            “Do you want me to stay home with you and take care of you?” he asks, joking the last part of his question lightly. He wouldn’t end up actually taking care of me as we’d just end up watching movies in the living room together.

            “No, it’s okay. You go wherever you were planning to go,” I try to smile. “I can’t ask you to cancel your plans.”

            “You’re sure?” he asks again. I nod. I should be fine for a while… “Okay, well, I’ll be hanging out with Taeyong for a while. Call me if you need anything,” he tells me.

            “Okay,” I quickly say before vomiting into the toilet again.

            “You’re one hundred percent positive you don’t want me to stay?” he asks me once more as I sit up straight.

            “Yeah, I think I’m done,” I slowly stand up to test if I feel good enough to make it to the bed or the couch in the living room. “Yeah, I’m done now,” I tell him as I flush the toilet to dispose of the vomit. “At least I hope I’m done,” I add as I wash my hands and face.

            “Okay, if you say so. Still, call me if you need anything; I’ll be with Taeyong and Taeil might come too,” he explains again as I follow him to the living room. He tells me who he’ll be with so that if I can’t reach him, I can try to reach the people he’s with. I’ll just watch movies until Johnny comes back, I mentally decide.

            A few hours pass of watching movies and I’m beyond bored. What can I do to be less bored? As if by magic, my phone rings. I quickly answer after I clear my throat. “Hello?”

            “Hey, I’m coming over,” Eryn’s voice speaks on the other line.

            “I don’t think that’s a great idea,” I hesitantly tell her.

            “Why?”

            “I’m sick,” I simply state.

            “Yeah, Johnny told me. You do realize food poisoning isn’t contagious right?” I hear her chuckles before the line goes dead. I sit there, confused, until Eryn walks in the front door moments later.

            “I thought I took away your key?” I ask her.

            “Nope,” she laughs. “How’s food poisoning?” she asks, changing the subject.

            “One sec-” I run to the bathroom to throw up again. When I return to the living room I collapse on the couch again.

            “So, it’s that much fun?” Eryn chuckles, sarcasm evident in her tone.

            “I don’t think this is food poisoning,” I mumble to myself.

            “But if you don’t have a fever or feel sick in any other way… It must have been something you ate; hence, food poisoning.” What she says makes sense but still doesn’t…

            “Johnny and I ate the exact same thing last night and he’s fine!” I tell her. “Here it comes again,” I cover my mouth and run as fast as I can to the bathroom… again.

            This doesn’t make sense… I feel fine other than throwing up several times and being tired of it; it can’t be food poisoning because Johnny would be sick too… wouldn’t he? I try to figure out what’s going on.

            Oh no! “Eryn!” I call. “Can you come here for a second?”

            “What’s up?” she asks as she leans against the door frame.

            “You jinxed me,” I speak quietly.

            “What?” she asks again, I assume she wants clarification or an explanation of what I mean and/or for me to repeat myself because I spoke too quiet for her to hear.

            “You jinxed me,” I repeat, this time louder. “John’s family kind of did too, but I mostly blame you,” I glare at her briefly. I’m not mad at here genuinely for jinxing it but this timing is far from perfect.

            “I don’t follow. How exactly did I jinx you?” she asks. I sigh, partially because I’m still sick and partially because Eryn isn’t getting what I mean.

            “I have to tell Johnny that we can’t get married in May like we planned,” I sigh again.

            “Wait, why?” You seriously still don’t get this? I mentally question if Eryn actually is my best friend while laughing to myself. Usually we can, somehow, communicate telepathically but this is not one of those moments.

            “Because I don’t want to look like a white whale in my dress and on my wedding day…” my voice trails off.

            “Why would you-” she pauses for a moment. “.”

            I feel tears forming in my eyes and I make no effort to stop them. “I don’t know what to do!” I cry.

            Eryn says nothing. She just looks at me and nods. So she can tell I’m going to keep rambling on and basically rant but she was confused a second ago? She’s so weird…

            “If this is true, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I gasp in realization, “Oh my God! What am I going to tell Johnny?! How am I going to tell him? I can’t tell him!” I conclude.

            “You have to tell him soon,” Eryn advises as we walk back into the living room.

            “I know but I can’t tell him now… especially when we still haven’t really talked about anything.”

            “Then what are you thinking of doing?” she asks me.

            “I need to find out if my prediction is right, first of all, and then I’ll go from there,” I shrug.

            “Okay,” she stands from the couch. “I’m going to run to the store, you stay here,” she tells me.

-

            “Well?” Eryn asks in anticipation as I walk out of the bathroom for the thousandth time today.

            I practically collapse and sit on the floor, tears streaming down my face once again. “What do I tell Johnny?”

            “Well, now you definitely need to tell him soon…” her voice is quiet as she speaks.

            “I can’t tell him,” I shake my head. “What if he gets mad because we haven’t even discussed anything about this?”

            “I know John John, so I can say that he won’t be mad,” she tells me, trying to calm me down. “He’ll most likely be surprised but not mad.”

            “I can’t tell him right away… I have to mentally calm down first,” I explain briefly.

            “Babe? Madi?” I hear Johnny’s voice as the front door opens and closes. !

            I frantically try to hide all evidence. “Not a word to Johnny,” I plead. “Or Taeyong. No one can know right now.”

            She nods. “I won’t say anything,” she raises her hands in mock surrender.

            “I know you can’t keep a secret from Taeyong but please don’t tell him?” I plead once more. “I know he’ll say something to Johnny…”

            “I won’t say anything,” she repeats.

            “Thank you,” I smile.

            “Hey baby,” Johnny smiles when he sees me as we meet in the living room. “Hey Eryn,” he waves at her.

            “Hey,” she replies.

            “How was your day?” I ask him.

            “Have you been crying?” he approaches me, disregarding my earlier question. “Are you okay?” Do you feel any better or do you still feel sick?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine now. I honestly cried tears of happiness because the feeling has passed and I stopped vomiting,” I lie. He smiles as he nods silently.

            I’m only half lying… The vomiting has stopped, that’s not a lie.

            “Well,” Eryn interrupts the silence, “I’m going to get going; I have plans with Taeyong,” she tells us. She makes her way to the front door and slips on her shoes. “Bye guys,” she waves as she leaves.

            “What do you want to do now?” Johnny asks as he wraps his arms around me in a hug. I feel so guilty right now, I feel my stomach drop.

            “Can we watch Disney movies?” I smile.

            “Of course my princess. What would you like to start with?” he walks over to the DVD stand.

            “Can we start with Beauty and the Beast?”

            “As long as the second movie we watch is The Lion King,” he jokes but I know he’s completely serious and really does want to watch The Lion King later.

            Johnny puts the disc in the DVD player and we sit together on the couch.

            “Do you feel too sick to cuddle?” he asks as the prologue of Beauty and the Beast starts.

            “If you don’t mind me quoting the whole movie,” I laugh.

            “Babe, you quote every movie,” he chuckles. “I’m used to it.”

            I lean down and rest my head on Johnny’s shoulder. We watch the movie in near silence; I can’t help but quietly quote the whole movie.

            Am I being annoying? I ask myself. We’re only halfway through the movie so I decide to stop quoting along with every word of the movie because I don’t know if Johnny is actually finding me annoying or not, despite what he said. “Madisen?” I hum in response. “Are you asleep?”

            “No, why?”

            “You stopped quoting, so I wasn’t sure if you fell asleep or if you were still awake,” he explains his thoughts.

            “Nope, I’m still awake,” I chuckle.

            “Then why’d you stop quoting the movie?”

            “I wasn’t sure if I was annoying you so I decided to shut up,” I tell him honestly.

            “You could never annoy me,” he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Keep quoting if you really want to.”

            I smile to myself and continue to quietly quote one of my favourite movies.

-

            I wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating, indicating I got a text message. I check my phone to see that the text is from Eryn.

            ERYN:

            DID YOU TELL HIM?

MADISEN:

NO… I DON’T KNOW HOW…

            ERYN:

            JUST FIND THE RIGHT MOMENT AND TELL HIM

            I take a deep breath. She’s right.. I know I should tell him as soon as possible but I’m scared and really not sure how…

            “Morning,” Johnny smiles at me as I walk into the kitchen.

            “Hey,” I smile. “Do you have plans today?” I ask him. Should I tell him now?

            “Yeah actually. I asked Taeyong and Taeil to come with me to get my suit today,” he explains his plans. “Did you need something?”

            “It’s no big deal,” I shrug. It is a big deal… “I’ll talk to you about it when you get home later.” It can wait until then, I can mentally prepare now…

            “If you say so,” he shrugs. “I have to get going now but I’ll see you in a few ours babe,” he kisses my cheek before leaving the kitchen and leaving the house altogether.

            I go back to my bedroom to get my phone and return to one of my favourite places: my couch.

MADISEN:

ERYN… I DIDN’T TELL HIM..

            ERYN:

            WAS IT TOO HARD?

MADISEN:

NO… I DON’T KNOW…

IT WASN’T THE RIGHT TIME

I’LL TELL HIM WHEN HE’S HOME LATER…

            I place my phone down next to me on the couch and turn on the TV. A few minutes into a random show I found, I get another text from Eryn.

            ERYN:

            I’M COMING OVER AGAIN LMAO

            TAEYONG JUST LEFT ME FOR JOHNNY LOL

MADISEN:

OKAY LOL... DOOR’S OPEN

-

            “Madi,” I hear my name in the distance. “Madisen. Wake up.” I slowly open my eyes.

            “Hey,” I wait for my eyes to focus. “Did I fall asleep?”

            “Yeah,” Eryn laughs. “I don’t know how it was possible though. You texted me, like, maybe ten minutes ago.”

            I can’t help but laugh at myself. “I wasn’t even tired… How did I fall asleep?” I continue laughing.

            “I don’t know but it’s hilarious,” she finally controls her laughter. “So, what do you want to do until Johnny gets home?”

            “Panic,” I answer honestly. I’m freaking out and I keep imagining all the different ways he could respond and I’m fearing the worst. Eryn says Johnny won’t be mad but it’s still a slight possibility.

            “Don’t panic,” she tells me. “Let’s just watch a movie,” she suggests, “Or, we could go to the mall and get out of the house. When was the last time you went outside?”

            “When Johnny invited us all to that restaurant to celebrate our engagement…”

            “That was like a week ago!” she almost shouts in disbelief.

            “I don’t go outside, okay? That’s why I’m so pale!” I jokingly defend.

            “I believe you,” she raises her eyebrows. “Go get dressed and we’ll go walk around the mall for a bit,” she shoos me to my room to change into acceptable clothes to leave the house in.

            “Okay, I’m ready,” I announce once I’m done getting ready. “Let’s go!” I ‘m actually kind of excited to leave the house; it’s better than sitting on the couch and worrying for several hours.

-

            “It’s actually really nice to get out of the house,” I admit with a chuckle as Eryn and I find a table in the food court to sit and rest for a while. The two of us put the few shopping bags we’ve each collected on the empty chairs at the table of four we sit at.

            “Today has been very productive,” Eryn jokes.

            “Much productive, such activity,” I whisper, kind of quoting a meme.

            Eryn bursts into laughter. “What the- Why are you such a meme?”

            I shrug, “It’s my job,” I laugh. I was about to make another comment but a text from Johnny interrupts me.

            JOHNNY:

            WHERE ARE YOU?

            YOU’RE NOT HOME…

            I MISS YOU <3

MADISEN:

AT THE MALL WITH ERYN

MISS YOU TOO <3

BE HOME SOON

            JOHNNY:

            LOVE YOU

MADISEN:

LOVE YOU TOO

            “Johnny?” Eryn asks.

            “What?”

            “You started smiling when you looked at your phone, I assumed it was the one and only John John.” I laugh at her choice of words.

            “Yeah, it’s Johnny. He was asking where I was; I guess he’s home now,” I tell her.

            “Do you want to leave now?” I slowly nod. “I know I’m annoying right now but you should tell him when you get home.” I nod.

            I agree with Eryn; I should talk to Johnny before I get too scared. Well, more scared than I already am to talk to him.

            The drive home is a fairly quiet one, the only sound being the music quietly playing on the radio.

            “Johnny?” I call his name as I walk through the front door into the house.

            “In the kitchen,” I hear him call back. I walk into the kitchen to see Johnny leaning against the countertop, wearing that damn distracting tank top that showcases his muscular arms. Because of his distracting arms, it takes me a moment to notice the scent of popcorn filling the kitchen.

            “Can I talk to you for a second?” I ask awkwardly. It’s now or never…

            “Of course,” he waits for me to continue.

            “Can you put a sweater on first? Your arms are distracting,” I laugh quietly, still awkward and scared how this conversation could end up going. Johnny laughs as he walks out of the kitchen. He returns moments later, with a sweater on. “Okay, first, how’d your day go?” This question is the best I could think of to get the conversation topic to the wedding…

            “It was good; got my suit for the wedding,” he tells me. Here we go.

            “Speaking of the wedding, I don’t think we will be able to get married in May like we planned…” I feel a tear run down my cheek.

            “Why not? You’re not breaking up with me again are you?” he smirks.

            “No, I’d never do that. I love you.” More tears stream down my face.

            “Please don’t cry baby. Why can’t we get married in May?” I take a deep breath. Okay…

            “I’m pregnant.”