Finished: 16th October 2018
If I have to choose a song as the theme of the story, I would choose Taylor Swift - Story of Us.
Uhh, you might want to know that this was written during WenRene's 'Cold War' so...don't expect anything fluffy here I guess.
She forgot how it felt to be afraid standing on stage, under the watchful eyes of thousands when she knew that the one pair of eyes she loved was looking back at her like a thick blanket in a cold winter day.
She got too used to watching out for her clumsy other half, who tripped over the empty air and stumbled at the slightest bump. She would hold out her hand, a smile permanently fixed on her face as someone smiled back gratefully, interlocking their holds together.
Back then she would look over her shoulder, searching for a figure that should be by her side. Only when she made sure that the woman was fine she would continue trudging ahead.
But now, she had to stop.
She had to stop thinking that the eyes would still shine with pride as they watched over Seungwan. She had to grip her fists tightly to ensure that they did not reach out as an offer of help that could easily be interpreted as something more (that she would always mean as something more). She had to consciously stop herself from looking for another when they were apart in the crowd.
She had to, because they broke up.
Seungwan shifted uncomfortably on her bed. She turned to look at Seulgi who was drawing peacefully by the only table they had in their room and she wondered if Seulgi was not disturbed by the sound she heard.
She fumbled around, trying to look for earphones. Eventually, she let out a sigh when she recalled that she had left it on the same table Seulgi was occupying right now while she was sitting there half an hour ago, writing her diary.
Seungwan got up a from her bed and slowly moved to where Seulgi was. As she grabbed her earphones that was dangling at one side of the table, she froze when Seulgi clamped a hand around her wrist. She met Seulgi's eyes and saw that her member was scrutinising her intensely.
"What are you doing?"
"Urm, I left my earphones here." Seungwan nodded towards the object that seemed so fragile in her hand. Its flimsy wires were tangled in a loose knot that somehow kept the earbuds away from each other - separated by a mess that was not by their own doings.
Seulgi let out a sigh, still holding Seungwan's wrist.
"Are you really going to act this way?"
"I don't know what you're saying. I just want to listen to some music."
Seungwan countered, a little too defensively. Seulgi was her best friend, practically her soulmate but there was a wall erected between them after That Day. Seulgi was forced to choose a side and while it was not obvious which side she chose to root for, Seungwan knew it was not hers.
"Talk to me, Wan ah. I'm not your enemy, I promise. I didn't see you cry once since...then and I know how much you are hurting."
Seungwan stood straighter this time, wiping her expression clean. "Again, I don't understand what you're saying. I'm fine."
I'm fine. She repeated that in her mind, drumming it over and over again.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Then she heard the laughter again and this time, she flinched, unable to maintain her indifference. Seulgi noticed that all too well and let out another sigh.
"It's one of her friends' birthday. She mentioned something about having a group call with them today."
"I don't care."
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