“Seoul's best hidden treasure”

— Choy Jieun

New Blog Post: A Fresh Take 

By: theinnocent 

Posted: April 17, 2020 10:55 AM 

What do you think are the most pointless emotions humans have? — I heard some man on the street ask his assumed wife. I watched as she furrowed her thin eyebrows at him before offering a light shrug and in return, asked him if they could get food before going home. While their following discussion on pasta or hot pot was interesting, I couldn’t stop recounting the idea of pointless emotions. Are any emotions truly pointless if they serve a purpose? Even if that purpose is greed or fear… Is anything at all pointless? 

Regardless, I needed to know. 

I typed meticulously into my newest post, fingers slow, but poised. 

I am sure at least some of you have already decided that anger is the most pointless emotion we, as humans, experience. At least in my case, that seems to be the conclusion. Anger is always getting in the way of things. Want to have a good morning, nope— you’re angry about something completely unnecessary; want to have a normal debate like a civilized person, wrong again, anger has walked through the door and sat right down on your lap. 

The best of us bend to anger, we can’t deny it. And although I do so wish I could ceaselessly blame anger as the creation of man’s biggest downfall, I simply can’t. 

We like to believe that if anger didn’t exist, we would always be happy, jovial, filled with endless joy, or whatever is the exact opposite of anger. We believe that nothing then could affect us anymore to the point where our moods are compromised and our goals stolen. The reality though, is that anger isn’t something to hate or fear. It is just as important as being happy. We are allowed to feel extremes and express and experience anger in all that it has to offer. It makes us who we are, gives us reason to choose the way we live our life. 

Sure, anger could be considered an unhealthy emotion, but can’t happiness be as well? Should we be glad the murderer felt peaceful and content after his last kill, if it means that he can be happy? 

I think that if you are personally affected by something so much as to resort to anger, then it is for a reason, suppressed or not, and a good reason at that. Despite how you may seem in the moment or how many times another person tells you to calm down, that anger is still yours. 

And here’s another one for you— if we never felt anger, would we even truly know what happiness is?

I stopped for a moment, letting my fingers catch up with my mind. I wish typing out my ideas was as easy as thinking it myself, but it always takes my fingers longer to develop sentences than it does for my thought process to display them.

A lock of dark hair delicately fell in front of my face and I pushed it back absentmindedly, focusing on my next thoughts.

Regret though, damn, now that’s an emotion I could do without. Nothing ever really comes from regret, but of course, self-hate or longing. We either spend hours upon hours wishing we had never done something, or wish we had done that something. Isn’t that pathetic? 

Regret serves no purpose other than to constrict our thinking into believing that the choices we have made are incorrect, undesirable, or should be infinitely questioned. What happened to following your heart or god forbid, doing something on instinct? Does everything have to be planned out now? Regret forces us to forget about why we make our decisions in the first place or overshines the good that might come from a situation with the “possible” bad outcome.

Thank god my life is not as long as others yet and I can honestly say that I’m not as experienced either, but with the short time I have been living (if you can call this living), I have learned that it is better to act than to sit wondering “what if.” 

If you are reading this right now, go take that damn risk. Maybe along the way, you’ll learn what it truly means to embrace your undesirable emotions. 

I in a deep breath, clicking the submit button with a harsh enough tap for me to worry about the safety of my laptop. I tossed it aside regardless, realizing that I didn’t actually care and grabbed my phone with an oncoming anxiety that shook me inside. Did I really want to do what I am about to do? 

it, I decided. If I can’t take my own , I shouldn’t spit it. 

I hit Baekhyun’s contact without a second thought and groaned when he didn’t pick up on the first ring. I would think he was simply taunting me if I didn’t know he was a busy man. By the fourth antagonizing ring, he finally picked up. 

“Oh god,” I somehow let this slip out of my mouth. 

“I’m sorry?” Came his slightly pinched reply. “Jieun? Did you dial me again?” 

“Please, that was one time.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Listen, you’ve got 30 seconds alright.” 

He cleared his throat with what sounded to be confusion. “You called me, shouldn’t I be saying that?” 

“Damn it Baekhyun, can’t you just listen?” 

“Okay, okay, what is it?” I could basically see his arms rising in defeat despite our physical distance. I’ve known him for too long, I thought. 

“I’ll do it.” 

“Do what?” He instantly shot back. 

I gave him an exuberant sigh and the urge to slap him arose in my throat. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” 

“Jieun really, I have a meeting with my father soon and I don’t actually have a lot of ti—” 

“I’ll go on a date with you.” I cut him off breezily before he could say anything more. “But just one, okay. Then I’ll decide if I want to go on any more.” 

He was silent. 

“Hello? Baekhyun are you listening?”

It sounded like there was coughing on the other end. “I’m here, I’m here. And I heard you, that sounds… reasonable of you.” 

“Good.” 

“Okay, yes, that’s good.” 

“Goodbye Baekhyun,” I nodded like we were ending a business deal. 

“Goodbye Jieun. Oh!” He exclaimed, “are we meeting tomorrow for your birthday as usual?” 

“Of course we are, when don’t we meet on my birthday.” 

He let out a light chuckle. “You’re right I guess. Well, have a good—” 

I hit the end button before he could finish, but I got the idea. 

I came crashing down onto my bed, throwing my phone a fair distance away from my side so as to not see any evidence of my unholy act. Ten year old me is pounding against my head at this injustice— all she can remember is him pulling her hair at the pool and chasing her in the yard at one of their parent’s many dinner parties. His father, the CEO of my parent’s talent agency and practical for-life business partner, always said we would be a perfect match. Who knew he might be right so many years later. 

A light knock on the door took me out of my reverie and before I could respond, the door began to open. This is how I knew it was my mother. Her makeup was perfectly done and she was sporting the outfit I have come to recognize as the I have a shoot today, will be home after dark. 

She glanced around my messy room, her agonizing eyes spending extra long on my writing desk— the one littered with sticky notes of my next blog po