Jungkook's POV 

 

"I hate you!" she screamed at my face.

 

My heart dropped the moment those words left her lips.

 

I already expected this. No. I thought I have.

 

Because when she said it-

 

It hurts.

 

I cant figure out why but there was this remorse sentiment firing inside of me.

 

Hana looked down, trying to catch her breath. I saw  thatshe's panting hard, her chest rising up and down in irregular rhythms, cold sweats dripping down her fair cheeks.

 

For unidentified reasons, at the moment, I'm the same way too.

 

Everything that happened was so tense and-

 

Suffocating.

 

The room was narrow and dark. Even with the lights on, I faintly saw Hana's small figure in front of me.

 

The smell of sweaty, musty sports equipment filled the entire space.

 

It's freezing in here. The cold breeze coming in through the tiny framed window made the situation more smothered.

 

Hana looked up at me again before uttering her reason.

 

The reason why she hates me.

 

"Why?" she said softly, almost whispering. Her pupils were shaking. She was holding back her tears.

 

That moment I wish I could hold her face, those small, beautiful face, cup it and tell her I'm sorry.

 

But there I was, froze in my movements, not being able to speak or even take her in my arms, tell her how much I regretted everything that happened.

 

I really do regret it.

 

Hana took a step back, still gazing deeply at me with her dark eyes.

 

"Because I cant hate you" she said in a breath and looked away.

 

My eyes widened at her confession.

 

Is this real? 

 

She doesnt hate me? 

 

I was wrong all along?

 

But why?

 

Isnt that the most logical thing she should have towards me? 

 

Hatred?

 

Everything I did should be enough to add up to her loathings.

 

Yoon Hana what are you trying to say?

 

"Hana, I don-"

 

"Stop" she turned to me.

 

"You've said enough. From the first day that we've met, until this very second. I dont wanna hear anything from you anymore" she finally cried.

 

"What the hell do you want from me Jeon Jungkook? Why? Why me? Why do you have to break me? Make me so miserable? Turn me into one your fake dolls? Who gives you the rights to play me?" Hana sobbed harder.

 

"Hana, I've never-"

 

"No!" she shouted again, clinging to my shirt, pulling me down to match the level of her eyes.

 

This girl. She looked so tormented and helpless. 

 

What have I done?

 

"Dont you dare tell me that's not true! Dont you dare tell me you've never wanted to play me. If all of those things are not true, you wouldnt do what you did last 2 weeks" she whimpered.

 

Hana stop crying please. I beg you

 

Hana turned her gaze away before letting go of my shirt. I tried to reach for her small, pale hands but she slapped my hands away.

 

"You know Jungkook. Any girl in her right, sensible mind would have despised you because of your disgusting behaviour. You're so fckin cheap" she blurted.

 

I looked down in desperation.

 

Desperate for all of this to end.

 

I cant bear being in front of her anymore.

 

Everything she has said so far is true and that is why I'm dying out of embarrassment right now.

 

Suddenly, I felt her cold hands on my cheeks. She turned my head to face her.

 

Those beautiful, hazel, sad eyes. I can never get enough of it. 

 

Even in this situation, she looked so beautiful to me.

 

I was about to apologise again when she said-

 

"I love you"

 

Her eyes locked on mine, her hands holding my face and the words that just escaped her plump lips,

 

I was perplexed.

 

She blinked twice softly, like the wings of butterflies, waiting for my reply.

 

But I couldnt say a thing. 

 

My mind went blank when she said it.

 

Those 3 words.

 

Am I hallucinating again?

 

Seeing me silent for few seconds, Hana walked away from me to the edge of the table in the room.

 

She sat there quietly, staring at me.

 

"Hana, I'm.."

 

She tilted her head a little before giving me a short grin.

 

Gosh what do I say?

 

 

 

 

 

Hana's POV

 

"I love you"

 

Fck. I let my emotions take control of me.

 

But just how much longer can I keep it to myself? These 2 months have been the awful ones in my life. All because of one guy.

 

A stupid playboy that I fell for.

 

Love.

 

It's a pretty strong word.

 

I'm not sure if that's what I'm feeling for him but I wasnt thinking when that slipped. 

 

So I guess,

 

It's the genuine feeling I have.

 

Or 

 

I'm just confused.

 

Whatever it is. I'm fond of this tard.

 

Yeah I know. Stupid. Idiot. Fool.

 

All the words above is applicable to a broken like I am.

 

He broke me. This , Jeon Jungkook.

 

But-

 

I like him?

 

I love him?

 

I dont know.

 

I just cant hate him.

 

All these feelings I have towards him are things I cant comprehend. 

 

I need serious help.

 

I waited for him to reply. No answer. So, I walked to the edge of the only table in the room. Arms crossed, staring at the tall figure in front of me.

 

He looked at me, upset.

 

Am I making him upset?

 

Why?

 

The Jungkook I know would cockily laugh at me. Make fun of my stupid confession.

 

But the Jungkook in front of me, he kept quiet. That boastful mouth of his, it stayed shut.

 

Why?

 

"Hana, I'm..."

 

He stopped. Fidgeting on his fingers. 

 

Not like the scared or nervous kind but like he's thinking hard about something.

 

Apprehensive.

 

"Look. I dont care. I just dont fckin care anymore" I closed my eyes and let out a big sigh.

 

Jungkook ranhis hand through his smooth, silky brown locks.

 

What is in his mind? Why cant he saying anything?

 

I walked towards him again. Gathering all my might and courage to do this next thing I'm fckin gonna regret.

 

Jungkook looked at me intensely as I moved closer to him.

 

Our eyes met and I closed my eyes tightly. Contemplating on my next move.

 

Fck it.

 

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and-

 

Our lips touched.

 

I dont know what I was doing but it felt necessary.

 

I opened my eyes and see his eyes widened. 

 

It was just a mild 3 seconds.

 

He didnt kiss me back.

 

He just-

 

Froze.

 

I broke the kiss and looked at him. Our faces just inches away.

 

"I'm gonna give you two options jerk. Fix this or fck off" 

 

I let go and walked out of the room.

 

I didnt even look at his reaction.

 

I cant.

 

I was too afraid.

 

Afraid that he'll say he will leave me alone.

 

Afraid that he'll say he's letting me go.

 

Afraid that he'll say he doesnt want me.

 

Yoon Hana, you're just so dumb. So fckin dumb. You said you'll end things but you ended up throwing yourself to that devil again when you know he'll make your life a living hell.

 

I just cant help it. I tried.

 

I ran to my car, passing the empty hallway and locked myself in it.

 

I turned to the school's entrance . He didnt chase after me.

 

I buried my face in my palms and finally burst out my feelings. Everything I held in my heart.

 

I felt a lot better. That stupid confession I made, lifted up my soul a little, made me feel more alive.

 

It didnt feel like I'm carrying so much in my chest anymore.

 

I felt free.

 

I can breath.

 

I let my head fall to the head of the seat and closed my eyes.

 

"Whatever that will become of us later, he'll always be one of my best memories" I mutter to myself softly.

 

I carved a smile and drove home.

 

 

 

 

 

Jungkook's POV

 

"I'm going to give you 2 options jerk. Fix this or fck off" she said.

 

Hana walked out of the room before letting me say anything.

She left me all alone.

 

What did she mean by fix?

 

She wants us to be okay again?

 

She's okay with me being in her life?

 

And what did she want me to do when she asked me to fck off?

 

She wants me to leave her alone?

 

Or she wants me to act like we dont know each other?

 

That girl. She's always making me crack my brain, trying to figure her out.

 

One girl I can never read.

 

I rested my back to the wall and let myself fall down to my feet.

 

I ruffled my hair hard.

 

Despite the tense moments we went through,

 

And despite the nasty things I've done to her,

 

She said she loves me. 

 

A short smile crept up my face.

 

I get that word a lot. Almost everyday. From plastic es that clung onto me like leeches. Either the member in my pants or the cash out of my pocket.

 

This time, it felt different. 

 

The words came from the luscious, pink lips of my kitten.

 

My Hana.

 

How funny it is to call her mine when I all the sanity out of her making her a soul-less creature, tormenting her fragile self.

 

I dont have the rights.

 

"Stupid kid" I cursed under my breath.

 

That kitten. 

 

Why is she so fcking stupid?

 

You cant love someone like me, kitten.

 

I'm the worst male being in the universe.

 

I hurt you. Countless times.

 

How can you still say you love me? 

 

I closed my eyes. My lits felt heavy. My legs felt weak. I'm too exhausted to even drive home. 

 

What do I do?

 

Should I make it up to her?

 

Or

 

Should I leave her alone?

 

Thinking about those things gave me anxiety.

 

As I was trying to calm myself down from all the tension, I feel a soft pat on my shoulder.

 

"Hyung?" I called out to the person infront of me.

 

"Cmon Jungkook. Let's go home" Namjoon hyung offered his hand.

 

 

*Jeon resident*

 

 

 

 

Jungah's POV

 

"I'm home" I heard Jungkook's weak voice echoed in our living room.

 

I ran to the front door just to find him standing there with an arm around Namjoon oppa.

 

He looked awful. His hair was a real mess. Dusts covered his whole school uniform and his face almost has no colour. Pale as hell.

 

What the actual fck happened?

 

I panicked a little and was about to call mom when Jungkook asked me so hush.

 

"It's nothing. I'm just not feeling well. Dont make a fuss about it" he said.

 

Namjoon oppa dropped him on the couch and walked to the kitchen where mom was.

 

"Kookie, I'll go greet your mom first okay?" Namjoon oppa said.

 

"Yeah sure hyung. Thank you" Jungkook gave him a short grin.

 

I sat myself beside him and holds his left hand.

 

"What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need anything?"

 

He laughed short.

 

"Why are you so concerned about me? Your narcissistic, egoistic brother is so hateful right?" he looked away.

 

"Dude dont say that" I let go of his hand.

 

"I dont hate you. At all. So stop that" I rolled my eyes.

 

"You should be Jeongie I hurt your bestfriend. And I know you knew about it. Why didnt you say anything?" he looked at me sadly.

 

I took his hand in mine again and ruffled his hair softly.

 

"You know, I wanted to kill you. That moment I found out about it. But Yoon Hana, she begged to not say a word. She said she wanna handle it on her own" I looked down, rubbing my thumb on his palm.

 

"I know. She just doesnt want to ruin us. The relationship we have. It was freakin obvioud tol that she wanted to protect you. For whatever reason that is" I turned my gaze to his face.

 

 "Hana is truly an amazing girl" I smiled to him.

 

Jungkook let out a big sigh.

 

"I know. Such an idiot" he smirked.

 

"What happened? Has she talk to you" I asked anxiously.

 

"Yeah" Jungkook replied softly.

 

"I ruined her Jungah" a tear rolled down his cheek.

 

Looking at him that way made me so speechless.

 

This arrogant brother of mine is crying for a girl.

 

My bestfriend.

 

"And.. she still says she loves me. How stupid" he let out a short chuckle.

 

"She really do Jungkook. I've noticed it for so long" I replied.

 

"Really?" he asked me, his eyes looking a little excited.

 

"Yeah. Why would I lie to you?" I rested my head on his shoulder.

 

And we just sit there. Staring blankly. In our quiet living room. Just two of us trying to figure things out.

 

"She gave me 2 options" he said.

 

"What were the options?"

 

"Fix this or fck off" 

 

I laughed.

 

"So typical of Hana" I said.

 

I got up and looked at him.

 

"Which one are you gonna choose?" 

 

"If you ask me, I'll choose the first option" Namjoon oppa said, making his way out of the kitchen with a bowl of snacks.

 

"And I would choose the same one too" mom appeared behind Namjoon oppa with our hot drinks.

 

"So my egoistic, narcissistic brother. Which one is it gonna be?"

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Sorry I've been gone forever! I'm in my third year of college and everything is so crazy!

 

I finally got the grip on how to manage my tile and schedule! I'll try my best to update as frequent as possible!

 

So did you like the chapter? Jungkook and Hana will finally decide on their relationship in the next chapter!

 

But then would it be that easy for Jungkook to win her heart again if he did decide to fix things?

 

Or will he let her go and make way for Yoongi!

 

I'm sorry for the grammar errors and everything! Tried my best to write it correctly and update asap!

 

Thank you so much for being patient! Thank you for all the love, time and support! Dont forget to comment and subscribe! 

 

Love,
Juvy ❤