“ you.”

I pulled all the wires that was attached to my body.

“What are you doing, Seulgi?” Wendy threw the tray and ran to me as fast as she can to stop me from pulling the wires. “You are supposed to be treated4.”

I stop her by holding her arm. “I’m okay.” She was too late.

“I’m not blind! You are not okay!”

“Wendy,” She met my eyes. “I’m okay.” I assured her. Though it was a lie, but I have to move as early as possible before I lose her.

I didn’t notice that Wendy was already crying. I know, she was trying to stop me, to control me, but she lost all her power to manipulate me years ago.

“Seulgi.” She said. “All I wanted to do is to help you. Please, get back and rest.” I laughed silently. Wendy looked confuse and raises her face to level mine. “What’s funny about it?” She asked.

I her face. “Darling, you already lost the chance years ago.” I smiled sarcastically. There’s no one in this building who can help me. No one.

“You look pathetic, Seul.” Hani chose the most pity words I really hate. And I don’t like someone to look at me like I’m the weakest human being.

I walked as fast as possible and grabbed her collar to pulled it closer to me. “Shut your mouth, Hani.” I said silently, sternly. I make sure there’s danger in every words I said to her. “You better get lost from my life.”

She laughed, which really made me want to punch her but I do the best that I can to restrain myself. I wanted to save the best for last.

“I can.” She spoke. “But can she?” The way she smiled at me is sarcastic. She’s challenging me. She’s inviting me to hurt her for I don’t know the reason. Instead, I push her. I pushed her too hard away from me. I decided to get out of here as soon as possible. I get the leather jacket and hold it as tight as I can. This is the only way which I can help myself to think straight. I opened the door which can separate me from this hell. But Hani spoke again. “You slept two weeks straight from the day she knew. I’m sure you will never find her because she’s going to avoid yo---”

This was the fastest 180 I have done in my entire life. I walked back inside and gave my hardest punch. I lost control. She makes her arms as a shield to my attack. I looked at her scared presence. Does she have plans to stop talking even just today?

It break the window in the back where Hani was standing. She slowly fixed herself when she noticed it didn’t hit her.

“Seulgi!” Wendy shouted. “Your hand.” She said when she saw my hand was bleeding, which is still stuck at the broken glass.

But I didn’t bother. I didn’t move. Hani raised her eyes to meet mine, and I’m ready to kill her.

“One word from you and you’re dead.” I pulled my hand from the broken window and immediately left the room. “Don’t ever call me Seul again,” was the last thing I said before I open the door.

“Seulgi---” Wendy called, trying to stop me but I guess, Hani stopped her.

“Let her.” She whispered.

There were few nurses who ran towards my direction when I get out. But I didn’t bother and instead, I continue my track outside this building.

“Seul?” She stopped in front of me but I passed her. I’d expected her to help me. One of those is to not let Hani be near me.

“I’d expected too much from you.” I said while passing the information table. I heard her footsteps behind me.

“I’m sorry. I never knew.” She said, her voice was low. “I woke up late.”

I laughed silently. “It was better if you never woke up.”

“Seulgi!”

“I already told you, stop Hani in getting in to my life again, Krystal.” I turned to her.

“I told you, I woke up late.” She challenged.

I laughed sarcastically. She doesn’t give me this kind of answers before. Maybe, I was right. Maybe, she was really planning something against me.

I shake my head and decided to go.

“Seul?” Her tone was begging. “Where do you plan to go?”

“To someone who remained true to me and yet the world chose to play us.” Was all I could say to her but she’s still following me.

She stopped me by holding my arm tightly. “Are you going to break our friendship for someone you barely know?”

I frowned. I took a step back to see her face clearly. I couldn’t believe she said that. “What did you say?” I snorted. “For someone I barely know?” She didn’t answer me. “It’s you that I barely know now.”

was left ajar. “Tell me…” she stuttered. “..it is not true.”

“Which side are you on, Krys?”

She was as confused as me. But it was all visible on her face. “What are you talking about, Seulgi?”

“You still going to deny it?” I said.

“How would I answer your question if I didn’t know what you are talking about?”

“I saw the papers on Siwon’s table, Krys.” I pulled her closer to me and gripped her arms tightly. “Don’t deny it anymore.” The changes on her facial tells me that she already understand what I’m talking about. “I saw the papers at his office. Well, I’m sorry if I was not informed that marrying that bastard is part of our plan.” I smirked. “Or maybe, part of your plan.”

For the last I-don’t-know-days ago, when I attacked Siwon. While I jumped over the table to cover myself, there were a papers fell to the floor. I wasn’t going to look at it but when I saw the glimpse of it, the glimpse of Soojung’s name, that’s when I got interested. I took one of those and read what’s written on it. And it was said, she’s arranging a marriage to the man I hated the most.

She lowered her face. She grabbed my hands while brushing her thumbs to my skin. Suddenly, drops of her tears fell on my skin.

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. I can’t look at this view for a long time because it breaks my heart. She’s my best friend after all. But, I resist myself for stopping her. I want her explanation today.

“You know that I will marry you after this war.” I said sternly. As clear as the first day I told her about our agreement. “Your mother wanted you to be a Kang. That was her last wish. But, what happened to our original plan?”

She shakes her head gently. “I…”

“I, what?”

“I thought you are going to break it.” She continued though she stuttered.

“Break it!?” I said half-whispered half-shouted.

“Yes.”

“And why do you say so?” I raised my eyebrows though she wasn’t able to see it.

“It’s so clear, Seulgi.” She raised her head this time. “You fell in love with Irene.”

I tried my best to remain my posture, my facial expression, and every possible things to remain.

“Don’t deny it too!” She said with tears in her eyes but I wasn’t sure what was that for. “Your eyes glows different whenever you see her. You bloom whenever you are with her. You act different whenever she’s next to you. You even acted you are alright even you have fresh bruises on your back. So, don’t blame me for arranging a marriage with Siwon because you are the one who broke the promise first.”

She’s right. She’s ing right. I can’t open my mouth because she said the whole ing truth! I’m the one to be blamed. And yet, I am the one who’s complaining!

“Falling in love with her was not part of our main plan.” She said sternly, reminding me a millionth times. “So, I decided to marry Siwon in case you are going to break our plan. That was my plan b. Plan b, Seulgi. My plan b.”

Joohyun’s faces flashes to my mind after mentioning her name. Our first meeting in the cafeteria. Our accidental meetings with each other. It was all part of the plan. The thing that is out of the plan is to have feelings for her. I shouldn’t have feelings for her in the first place. Where did it all started again? I asked myself.

“I didn’t break the plan, Krys.” Was the thing I could say after calculating everything.

“What?”

“I said, I didn’t break the plan.” I raised my head to level hers. “I wasn’t breaking the plan, I was prolonging it because you’re right! I have feelings for her! I love her dearly, with all heart and soul. But, even if I do, the Gods still stop us! They are playing what we have inside in our hearts! Even if I do love her, I still can’t! So, the show must go on.”

She was looking at me like she’s processing everything I said. After for I don’t know how many seconds, her face changes. Her eyes gone wide, as well as . “So, you knew then?” was she said.

But I was left shock from her reaction. “You knew then, too!?”

She shakes her head slightly, regretting what she just said. That’s when I concluded that she really knew about me and Joohyun as half-sisters but she chose not to tell me the truth.

I hold her arms. “Why you didn’t ing tell me!? Was it part of your plan too?”

“No!”

“Then, why?” I said. I was already tearing up. “Why?”

“Because I choose not to tell you.”

I opened my mouth. “Because you choose not to!?” I smirked. “Give me a ing clear answer, Soojung.”

She lowered her head. “Because I wanted to play with your feelings and test if you are loyal to my mother’s last wish.”

I snort. I laugh. I laugh sarcastically. I laugh as loud as I can.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“Here’s my phone.” I put my phone in her palm. She was confused but I smirked. “Call your mother to the other side and tell her to her last wish!”

I walk out as fast as I can. The sliding glass door automatically opened when I stepped on the floor near it. I walk as fast as I can to escape this hell, this hell on earth.

I don’t deserved any of these s!

“Seulgi!” She shouted. But I never stop to my tracks. “If you wanted to marry me, then why are you chasing her now!?”

I stopped. I slowly inhaled the air around me.

Why do I have to experience all these wrongs in my life? Do I deserved this? Is this the destiny that was written for me? I don’t want it all! I don’t want anything from this world! I wished I could be child again and choose not to go with my Mum that day, so I could still be remained a child with no knowledge about the world at all. I wished I could have a gun so I just shoot my head so everything’s going to end.

“I don’t know.” Was all I could say after a while.

But everything isn’t easy.

She suddenly wrapped me from the back using her long arms. She place her chin above my shoulders and gently brush her cheeks to mine and mashed it to my face. I don’t exactly know but her warm gives comfort. I inhaled and lean my head to hers.

“Why do these things happen to my life, Soojung?” I cried. She hugged me tightly.

“Shhh…” She brushed her hands to my arms.

“All I want to do was to revenge my late mother.”

“Stop talking.” She suggested but the it was too late to stop my tears from falling. “It is not your fault.”

“Help me, Krys.” I whispered. “I need saving.”

She turned me to her and took a step back to see my face clearly. She tucked my hair to my ears. “I always got you.” She brushed my tears away. “So now, let’s help you get up again.” She pulled me and she started walking.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the person who remained true to you.” She said with an assuring smile she have on her face. I unconsciously mirrored what she painted on her face.

“Thank you.”

She opened the car for me, then followed me inside. We stayed silent for a while. No one dared to talk. Though, it was a comfortable silence, it was also suffocating at the same time.

“Soojung,”

“Seulgi,”

We looked at each other at the same time after we called each others’ names at the same time. I wanted to smile but what I saw in Soojung’s eyes was sorrow. The small cut,wound, on her forehead which is slightly healed, reminded me about what happened to my best friend. I completely forgotten that she was hospitalized. Her bruised image suddenly flashed to my mind and I have to close my eyes to force myself to set things aside. Better if it will be completely forgotten.

I smiled weakly. She mirrored me. “How are you?” I asked. I was concerned.

She snorted. She flashed the smile I wanted to see the most. The smile that I missed the most. Her I-am-trying-my-best-to-survive smile.

“I was expecting you to ask me that the moment you see me, but I was wrong.” She said. “You are extremely angry with me instead.” She laughed weakly.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to. Though it was a bit offensive, I always forgive you.”

I looked at her. “Thank you.”

“You already said that twice.” She’s smiling widely now. “You better treat me a burger.” We were laughing right now. “But I’m sorry if I am not helping you at all in finding her.”

“No.” I put my hand in front of her. “You are a great help to be honest, Soojung. Don’t say that.” I said.

Now that she mentioned it, it’s been two weeks since we start finding the presence of Bae Joohyun. School was the first place that comes to my mind when finding Joohyun. She still needs to attend the school, she is still a student afterall. But she wasn’t there. She was absent for the past two weeks straight and hasn’t have a plan to show up. So, I have to came up with a plan b. So, I visited her home but one of the maids just told me everyday that she didn’t came home since the last two weeks. Krystal gave an idea to visit all the places we have been to. But even her shadow wasn’t there.

“It’s been two weeks now, Seulgi, and we still couldn’t find her. We don’t even have any idea where she must be right now.” Soojung reminded. “What’s your plan?”

I shrugged. “I don’t have a plan, honestly.” I looked out at the window. “You know, there’s a saying. The person who hides---”

“Are really hard to find.” Soojung finished it for me. She’s nodding her head. “I agree with that. But do you think she can hide forever from you?”

“She is now.”

She nods. “But one thing I found odd.”

“What?”

“Jisoo ignored all my calls. She must be with Irene.” She informed.

I nod this time. “Yep. I’m pretty sure with that too. I found it odd too when we visited the school and Jennie told me that Jisoo was absent for the whole week as well. Even today, Jenny’s updates are Joohyun’s and Jisoo’s absence.”

She put her finger to her chin while slightly tilt her head and look above her. She’s thinking deeply. “Where do you think Jisoo takes her?” Soojung suddenly asked.

“That has been on my mind every single day.” I said. “I can’t answer that too.”

She sighed heavily. “Let’s call it a day?”

“Yep. That’s a better idea.” I said after looking at my watch and it said it almost three in the morning.

“Wanna stay at my house today?” Soojung asked after starting the car. She drifted to her left in a crossing.

I shook my head. “Not today. I better stay at my house tonight.” I combed my hair, then leaned on her car’s window. “It’s been awhile since I saw mom. I missed her.”

Soojung didn’t answer but I’m sure she’s smiling at me. She likes it when I’m talking about my favorite person in the world.

“Just drop me off there at the side.” I instructed Soojung after we saw my house not far from where we are.

“You sure?” She asked.

“Yeah.” I nod. “I wanted to take a walk. I want some fresh air.”

“Okay.” She slowly park the car to the area I requested. “Is this okay?” She asked after she stopped the engine.

“Perfect.” I unbuckled my seat belt. I stretch my arms to reach her and wrapped it around her neck. “Thanks for today. I love you.” I whispered.

She chuckled. “You sounded like an when you’re telling me that.”

I laughed. “But honestly, thanks for today.”

“I got you.”

I smiled. I opened the door and gently jump outside from her car. She started the engine and in a minute, she’s completely out of my sight.

I smell the air. It was refreshing. I inhaled it through my body and it feels like I drink a cold lemon juice. The sound from the trees makes the surrounding more natural.

Oh, how much I missed this place.

I shove my hands inside my pockets and started walking slowly. One step after one step. Slowly, treasuring the moment.

The floor to my house is like a mountain, and my house is at it’s top. It’s like I’m hiking to a mountain top. But I feel it tonight. I wanted to walk. I want the time to tick slowly. The more it runs fast, the more the days will pass. The more the days passes, the more I lose all the chances to find her.

I closed my eyes while inhaling the air once again when I reached my garden. But when I open my eyes, the lights from my house suddenly turns on. It gives chills to my skin and I’m starting to get suspicions. Some intruder is in my house. I cover myself from a huge plant in my garden while observing the intruder’s action. The lights on the stairs suddenly turns on too. It might be climbing upstairs. It opened the door from the veranda and walk closer to the railing.

I was about to run inside when I saw the glimpse of the intruder’s face. So, I looked back up again. I narrowed my eyes to see her presence clearer.

My lips starts trembling when I saw who it was. My eyes begun dropping tears that I was able to hold inside when I saw her face while looking at the night sky. She was like a star. An angel in disguise.

I’m standing in front of my penthouse, the only place in town where I didn’t search.

Suddenly, it hits me. This really is the first place she will go if she’s having a problem. The stars on the sky here gives her strength. The air around her, that’s probably brushing her skin now, gives her warm.

I sighed.

Why I didn’t think of this place where it all started here?

Why I didn’t think of this place where we can see Mom?

I failed again.

But this time, I rushed inside the house as fast as I can and opened the doors that would hinder me from meeting her.

Now, I’m in front of the door that separates us. I inhaled once again before gently open the door.

She was just standing there, looking at the sky peacefully. It suited her very well. The black turtle neck that she’s wearing tonight compliments her pale white skin. Her top that inserted to her denim jeans, jeans that covered her legs. She’s embracing herself probably to give herself a little warm because the air was quite cold. I’m facing her back, but even it was a perfect picturesque to me.

But my happiness didn’t last long when she’s started brushing her arms, turned around and say, “Why so fast, Jiso---” She wasn’t able to finish her sentence when she finally see me. My eyes begun to shed tears when I finally laid my eyes on her again. This momentum prolonging my breaths. I quickly blink my eyes, slightly tilting it so I could stop the tears. But I couldn’t stop it.

I smiled at her weakly.

“I found you.” was all I could say after the silence.

I am not sure what to do next when I saw her cry too. My body starts to tremble and I couldn’t make a step forward. My body is malfunction but my mind and my eyes only think of the same thing, I finally found her. I brushed my face with my hands to wake myself up. I have to say something again before this silence between us would be awkward.

“I missed you.”

*********

Author's Note:

Please tell me your thoughts about this. Thank you!