CONCEPT: ANGST & FLUFF

Stomping in to your boyfriend’s shared apartment. You open the door of his room. Making him jot from where he was standing, to turn over to look at you. Taking in on your appearance, his face went pale and mouth agape. Shocked took over his face and was replaced with a worried one.

Y/N: We need to talk.

Ren: What happen to you?! Why are you injured?

Y/N: This is what we need to talk about.

Ren: Okay, but come here.

Walking towards you he wraps his big hands over your small ones, pulling you to his bed. Sitting face to face, while his thumb glides over your knuckles to smoothen you. Looking at him you took a deep breath and continued what you were intending to tell him.

Y/N: Your fans hurt me.

Ren: What that’s ridiculous. They would n-

Y/N: Are you implying that I’m lying?

Ren: No bu-

Y/N: Then are you implying I fake my injury?

Ren: What?! No! How did you even get hurt so bad?

Y/N: Did I stutter? Your fans hurt me.

Ren: It’s not po-

Y/N: You know what? I’m done.

Ren: What do you mean you’re done?

Y/N: There is no point of me talking to you, when you don’t even believe me at all.

Ren: I believe you.

Y/N: No, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be protecting your fans an defending them against me.

Ren: Baby...

Y/N: No. this. I done with everything. All the comments all the threats, I thought I could handle it. I tried. But now? It became worst. Your fans practically attack me in broad daylight when I was just out getting something to eat. Calling me name and threating me to kill me, while beating the out of me. Telling me to leave you.

Ren: Baby.. It couldn’t have been them.

Y/N: You know what’s worst?

Ren: Baby…

Y/N: You, defending them and not believing me. Even though I have practically injuries all over my body.

Ren: I… no. I-

Y/N: Save it. I’m done with all of this.

Ren: What?

Y/N: I’m breaking up with you.

Ren: WHAT?! BAB-

Y/N: NO! Stop! I can’t do this anymore. This is practically driving me crazy. You don’t believe me, because you’re not the one who is being attack. You’re no the one hurt. You’re not the one crying yourself to sleep overnight because of all the mean comments and threats you got.

Ren: I.. I didn’t know…

Y/N: I thought it would be alright after awhile. But nothing is changing for the better. Instead everything is becoming worst. And when I thought you would at least be worried about me.

Ren: I am!

Y/N: You choose to defend your fans instead.

Ren: I didn’t..

Y/N: So, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I’m leaving.

Ren: Baby.. Please..

Y/N: There is no reason for me to stay anymore.

Ren: What do you mean?! Not even me?! Ba-

Y/N: No. I’m done. I love you. But I’m done. It hurts me so much that you don’t trust me or even defend me at all. I see no point in this. I’m just going to get hurt in the end.

Ren: Baby. Please. Don’t. I love you. I care about you. I believe you. Please don’t leave me. Please.

Y/N: I doubt that.

-

You think it’s easy? You think I don’t want to run to you? But there are mountains and door, we can’t walk through. Fate is pulling me mile away, and you’re out of reach to me. I know you’re wondering why. But within this wall, it’s just you and me. And when we wake up, we’re going to see it was hopeless after all.

No one can rewrite the stars. How can you say you’ll be mine? Everything is keeping us apart. And I’m not the one you’re meant to find. Its not up to me or you, when everyone tells us what we can or cannot be.

You know I want you, it’s not a secret I hide. But I can’t have you. We’re bound to break, and my hands are tied.

-

*A few days later*

Ren: Hi…. I know it has been a long time since I was on Vlive. And I actually didn’t want to talk about this, the moment when it’s finally my turn to do a live. And I didn’t want to ruin the mood for all of you. As all of you have known, I’m dating someone for awhile now… But that doesn’t mean I love all of you any less. I’m grateful and happy that all of you have so much love for me. And I love you back equally as well. Without all of you, I have not been able to come this far with my members. I’m really happy for all the fans that still continues to support us and furthermore me. I was very worried when the news was out. I was so scared that I was going to damage our reputation as a group. But I couldn't lie to all of you. I love you and I feel like I couldn't hide this from all of you. I had to tell you the truth. She is great girl and treats me very well.

I know I disappointed all of you. I can’t make any excuse for myself. I fell in love. That’s the truth. But I love all of you as much as the past. It doesn’t change anything. I know there are still fans that supports me no matter what. And I am very grateful for all of you that stayed. That still loves me for who I am and what I do. I love all of you. I really do. That’s why I’m here answering all of your questions. As to why I look so tired this few days.

She got into an accident. Someone attacked her. I lost her. I lost her because I didn’t believe her. I didn’t know what she went through. I didn’t believe her because she told me that one of my fans attack her. I really don’t know what to do. I really shouldn’t be rambling here. But I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know how to talk to anyone about this. And all of you know that I treat you like my friend. And it is hard for me to believe that one of you attack her. I can’t I just can’t. I don’t know what to do. I lost her. She left me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sorry.. It’s just, it’s been hard for me. Hard for me to come in terms that she really left me. I’m sorry. I should stop before I do anything or say anything more stupid.

I promise, I’ll be better and work harder to gain all of your trust and love back. And show all of you that I didn't change at all. I’ll be better with time. So… until next time, I guess. Thank you Lo^e. I love all of you. And I’m grateful for everything.

-

*A year later*

Ren walked in to the usual bar he had gone to for the past year. He had been going there drinking away his sorrows ever since you had left him. He knew you wouldn’t like the state he is in now. But he couldn’t help but turn to alcohol when his memories of both of you are clear and vivid in his mind. Especially during the night, causing him sleepless nights. Thus, he turned to it, letting it blur and fog his memories of both of you. So, he could get a better sleep or at least a wink of sleep. Sitting at his usual seat, he didn’t have to ask for his usual. He had been there way too long, to the point where all the bartender in that bar would automatic place his drink infront of him, when they see him waking in to the bar.

He was only on his 2^rd drink when he finally thinks he lost it. But it’s too soon though. Normally it would take him 4 drinks to start seeing your face infront of him already. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Why are you infront of him, and as a bartender? It can’t be. Shaking his head, he tried hard get his thoughts together. But no matter how much he closed and reopened his eyes, you’re still there. Behind the counter serving drinks to other people. What was worst, was that he could practically hear your voice as you speak to them. Was his hallucination becoming that bad? Did he need to visit a therapist?

Ren: Y/N?

You heard your name being called. But no one should know you here. You’re just helping out Justin on his shift today, because it the new year. And the bar is expecting lots of people coming in today. Thus, after you had worked your morning shift you when home to take a 3-hour break before coming back. Justin insisted you help out after 10pm, since that’s when the crowd would normally stat coming in. And he didn’t want to work you to your bones as well. Thus, you came in just less than 10 minutes, already serving drinks and taking notes of the regular night customer’s preference order. Until you hear your name coming from somewhere. Turning your head to the sound of your name, you came face to face with someone you never thought you would see again.

Ren: Y/N? Is that really you?

Justin: You know him?

Y/N: Kind of…

Justin: He is one of our regular. Well, you could consider him our VIP here. He has been here for a year now. Always come in on a Monday night, where it’s less crowded. I guess because he is famous. You know right? Nuest? He is from that boy group. And he only drinks blueberry boozer. He is paratactically our only customer that drinks that. It’s easy to remember.

Y/N:….

Ren: Y/N? Are you really here?

Justin: Yup, she here alright. She normally takes the morning shifts. But I needed an extra hand, so I asked her to help me out for a few hours tonight.

Ren: You work here?

Y/N: Yup…

Justin: She’s a fast learner and a hard worker. Only been here for a year, but I trust her. I put her in charge of the whole bar in the morning.

Ren: Wow, a year huh… Time must have passed so fast. Everything changed.

Justin: I’ll leave both of you to catch up. I’ll serve the rest of the customer. Today wasn’t a busy as I thought. Y/N you could just get off work now and sit with him to catch up. I’ll serve you, your favourite.

Y/N: What? No…

Justin: I insist! Come one. You’re have worked so hard for me for the past year. You need a break. Go on! Change out of your uniform. You’re cloaked out.

 

And that was how you find yourself sitting on the bar stool, next to your ex. With a gin and tonic infront of you.

 

Ren: Well... at least one thing didn’t change over the year.

 

Looking at your glass. Clearly implying on your taste of drink.

 

Ren: How have you been?

Y/N: Fine…

Ren: I can’t believe you’re here. Like actually infront of me. I thought I was going crazy because I was only on my 2^nd drink when I saw your face. Normally I would start seeing your face after my 4^th drink. I was mentally asking myself if I should seek help form a therapist.

Y/N:…

Ren: I… I missed you.

Y/N: Re-

Ren: Like a lot…. I know I look pathetic now. And you’re disappointed in me. But I had to turn alcohol because I couldn’t get you out of my head. Especially at night.

Y/N: Please stop.

Ren: I wished you hadn’t left me. I wished I had handled the situation better. I wished I had told you how important you are to me. I wished I should had held you back and fought hard for us.

Y/N: Don-

Ren: But I’m too late. Because I’m here and you’re here as well. After a whole torturing year. But I can’t hold you. I can’t kiss you. I can’t have you in my arms. I can’t call you mine. I can’t show you off. And most importantly, I can’t tell you and show you how much I love you. How much I still love you.

Y/N: Pleas-

Ren: I love you. I loved you. I still love you.

Y/N: Stop. That’s enough. I can’t. You should forget about everything.

Ren: How could I forget about the best part of me. About the best time of my life. Could you?

Y/N: Don’t go there.

Ren: Why? Is it because you were never happy when you’re with me? Is it because I was never your best part? Your best time?

Y/N: It’s not..

Ren: Was I?

Y/N: You were.

Ren: Were?

Y/N: You was, you were, you still are.

Ren: Than, why do you seem so dejected seeing me?

Y/N: Because…

Ren: Because you’re scared.

Y/N: I’m scared. I’m scared because you were the best part of me. You were the best time of my life. You still are. And I’m scared to go back to all of that again.

Ren: But. You’re different now. So am I. And it’s been a year.

Y/N: But that doesn’t mean everything would be different now.

Ren: But we could handle things differently now. It’s been a year. We’re more mature than we are the year before. And we could handle the same situation better.

Y/N: That doesn’t mean it would turn out right this time. It would even hurt both of us more if we didn’t again.

Ren: But I know for me, I would fight for us with my life this time. I would fight for you. No matter what situation we’re in. I know for sure, I’ll not lose you this time. I can’t. Not again. I’ll do anything to have you by myside. Would you? Would you do the same for me?

Y/N: I….

 

Looking at him, you saw the anticipation in his eyes. Your heart wants to shout that you would fight as hard as him. Because you know you couldn’t love anyone as much as you had loved him. As much as you still love him. But your mind tells you to say no. Because you would get hurt again. And there is no point of trying again. Because it going to end up the same way. Both of you getting hurt.

 

Ren: Don’t. Please don’t think.

 

His hands grab yours, that was on your lap. Tears slowly forming in his eyes. Helplessly looking at you. Begging you to not hurt him. To give him a chance, to give both of you another chance. Begging you to end his suffering. To just give in to him and comply. To give in to your desirer, your heart and not your mind. Looking at him your mind is constantly giving you warning signals. Until, he smashed his lips with yours. Clouding your thoughts. You could taste the boozer and cigar on his tongue. Just went did he learn to smoke? His hands having a tight grip on you, pulling you on to his chest. Caging you in his arms.

You could taste the frustration and longing from the way he is kissing you. Breaking apart, both of your forehead rest on each other. As he breaks out in tears. Shifting his head to your shoulder, he tightens his grip on your waist. Burying his face on the crooks of your neck. Lifting your hands from his chest, you circled your arms around his neck. Head buried in his hair. Nose hit with an all too familiar smell. His floral shampoo.

 

Y/N: Let’s rewrite the stars.

 

Nobody knows what the future holds for both of you. But you know this time, both of you would fight for this relationship harder. It might not be perfect, and it might have ups and downs. But at least you have each other.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANGOOOO!!!!! <3