Concept: ANGST & FLUFF

Sitting on your couch with Jr, there was a distance between both of you. Crossing your arms over your chest, sitting as far away from Jr as possible. Trying hard to ignoring the presence on the same couch as you. As he stared at you for the whole time. He let out a heavy sigh, standing up and walking away. Thinking he would finally leave you alone and out of your house. Even though deep down, you didn’t want him to leave.

 

A Ra: Bye .

 

He scoffed, walking in to your kitchen instead. Shaking his head as a little smile tugged on to his mouth. Because you finally spoke to him. Getting himself a glass of water. As you sigh and rolled your eyes, tracing his movement from the corner of your eyes. Gulping down a glass of water before answering you back.

 

Jr: I love you too princess.

 

Your eyes widen a little, while your eyes never left the screen infront of you. Heart fluttering, but you tried to keep your cool. Trying not to be affected from his words. Focusing on the screen infront of you. Not caring that he was still in your kitchen, looking at you. With a sad glaze. Hopping you would forgive him this time as well. He knew he had no rights to convince you. Or no idea if you would take him back again. Heart aching, as his mind only filled with determination of not letting you go. And not losing you, even if it takes him forever to change your mind. Because he knew you’re his love of his life. And he couldn’t lose you, he couldn’t survive without you.

Taking a few more steps out of the kitchen, at the doorway to your living room where you’re are sitting. He resorts to the last thing he could think of, that might save this relationship. Lowering the aircon temperature to the lowest. He hopes this would work like most of the time. Taking his seat back at the couch, which was a seat away from you. He glances at you.

As the cold air came running in to the room, you felt a shiver running down your spine. He knows you’re weak to cold. You hated the cold. And he knows that he was your human furnace. You’re always cuddling up to him when you’re cold. He knows how your hands would turn ice cold, even in a normal temperature room. But he loves how your cold hands felt on his warm cheeks and hands. And loves how you would snuggled up to him and rub your cold nose on the nap of his neck. Trying and take in every heat his body emits to you.

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*2 hours ago*

 

A Ra: It’s fine. It really is, Kim Jong Hyun. It’s not like it’s the first time you ditch me for your work. It’s okay, I see it coming. And I have told you the last time that, you had one more chance. I know I had told you that like over 10 times already. But every time, you never fail to disappoint me over and over again. This just shows how much you actually cared for me. You’re always putting your work before me. But that’s okay. I’m just going to find someone, who might actually put me first for once, starting now. Goodbye Jong Hyun

 

He could hear the anger in your voice and he could imagine the expression on your face when you said all those words to him. Even though it was over the phone. With that you ended the call. Making him jot up from his comfy seat, in his studio. He stared at the calendar and the time. Cursing out loud.

 

Jr: !

 

It was white day. A day where guys that received chocolate from their loves ones, on Valentine’s day, returned the favour by giving their loves ones a gift. But to both of you there was a much bigger reason to celebrate this day. Just a year ago, right on this day, he confessed his love to you. Making today, both of your, first anniversary. Grabbing his phones in his hands, he ran out of his company’s studio. To the café nearby where he was supposed to meet you. The café that, you pick as your meeting spot. Because it was closes to him and it was more convenient for him to meet you. Even though you hated their coffee.

Cursing himself in the head for forgetting such an important day. He rushed down the stairs, knowing he has no time to take the lift. Running out of the company’s building, sprinting his legs as fast as he could to the café. Finally, the café came to his sight. He couldn’t see any familiar face. Rushing out of the café, he ran through the path you would have to take back home. Finally spotting a familiar back view. He sprinted even faster catching up to you. Pulling your arm, as he was close enough. Making you jot back facing him.

Sweat was dripping down the side of his face. As he crouched down to his knees to catch his breath. With his hand firmly gripping on to yours. Finally, as he pants for the last few times. Straightening his back, standing up straight again. He locked his eyes to yours. Trying to find the right words. But ended up stuttering instead.

 

Jr: A.. Ra. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…

 

You raised an eyebrow to him. Not convivences by his apology. Because he did that too many times. Making you lose count of how many times this has happen just in a year of your relationship. You’re close to tears, heart shattering as you’re facing him. Making you say words that left your mouth, without a thought. Wishing you were wrong about it. And wishing you hadn’t say anything. And just gone with what your heart wanted you to do, which was forgiving him, like every single time you did.

 

A Ra: People say that you’re caring, especially to everyone around you. Putting them first. Your band members even say that you’re the type who would put your loves ones above everything else. And that I was lucky to have you. Because you wouldn’t hurt me. And would love me whole heartedly and hopelessly. I’m starting to doubt all of that. Because it just feels like you’re the total opposite of what they describe you as, to me.

 

His eyes widen in shocked, from hearing those words coming out of your mouth. Eyes burning, as he never took a glance away from your eyes. Holding his breath, while he could feel his heart shattering and stomach turning. His eyes started to sting. As the thought of losing you, made his heart aches. Thinking to himself that this was different from the past countless time both of you had fought about this. Gripping on to your hand even tighter. Knuckles turning white. As he felt his chest tighten up, squeezing his lungs. Preventing him from breathing properly. But he knew he deserve it. He had missed so many dates because he was so caught up with work. And he knew, he did actually put his work before you.

He knew he had messed up big time. Over and over again. But you took him back every time. But he was not certain that you would this time round. The cold glaze in your eyes. He could feel a distance between both of you. Even though he was just right infront of you holding your hand. Even he was convinced of those words that spilled out of your mouth. Even though he knew you didn’t really meant it. With that, he swallowed the lump in his throat, whispering to you.

 

Jr: You’re right….

 

With that, you jerk his hands out of yours. Turning away from him, sobbing as you took more step further away. Watching your back view, walking further and further away. He knew he lost you. But he was selfish. He didn’t want to let you go. He needs you, even more than you know. Even more than he would show or say to you. He finally got the courage to take a step forward. Closing in on you. As he stayed a distance away, following you from behind. Looking at your back view, sobbing away. All he wanted to do was to run up to you. Enveloping you into a tight hug as he takes your pain away. Kissing you firmly on your soft lips, showing you how much he needed you. And catching every last bit of tears, that was running down your face.

But he knows he couldn’t. He knows you hate him now. And you would push him away. He doesn’t deserve to hold you or call you his anymore. Heart aching, tears was running down his face as well. Seeing how much pain you’re in. It hurts his heart even more, because he knew he was the one hurting you. Following you back home. He though you would slam your door at his face. Not letting him in. But surprisingly, you left the door with a crack so that he could come in. Even though, he didn’t know why. He let himself in to your house. Seeing you sitting on the couch, starting to play a movie, that both of you that planned to watch today. A week before this happens.

He took a sit on the couch beside you. But you got yourself off the couch, sitting at the far end of the couch instead. He knew you felt hurt. And he knew how much you’re hurt, because it’s hurting him too. He couldn’t take his eyes away from you. Afraid that this might be the last time he would ever see you. Trying to imprint your image in his memory, before it really happens.

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Seeing you shift uncomfortably on the couch. As you bring your legs up on the couch as well, bringing it close to your chest. Hugging your legs to yourself, trying not to be bother by the sudden change of temperature. Biting down on your lips, trying to keep your hot breath in your cheeks as you puff them. Holding your breath, thinking it might keep the warm from emitting out of your body. Tugging your head on your knees. As you curse yourself in the head for wearing shorts and t shirt. Rubbing your arm, to warm up and tame your goose bumps. But no matter what you do, it gets even colder by the second. Fighting the urge in your head, to just wrap your arms around Jr. Taking all his warm from his body. While you cuddle up on his chest, with his arms around you. Making you feel cosy, safe and loved. You force yourself, clenching your legs on your chest as tight as you can.

Feeling your couch shift, you knew Jr shifted next to you. But you didn’t want to acknowledge him. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know if you want him to finally leave you, so you could collect all the broken piece by yourself. Or you just want to hug him tight to you, telling him how much you love him. Even though, you know you’re going to get hurt again. Thoughts was running wide, and the aircon was not helping at all. The living room was still dark, because you didn’t turn on the lights. And the only things that was emitting lights, was the screen inform of you. You heard him swallowed hard, before speaking.

 

Jr: Baby…. Come here…

 

Ignoring him, pretending that you didn’t hear anything. Not tearing your glance from the screen for even a second. But you felt an arm, snake to your back and one infront. Hugging you tightly to him. Warming you up, caressing your back. Your heart suddenly speeds up. Making you curse yourself in your head, of how much control he has over you. Trying not to give in to him. Even though, you feel like your stomach is turning, with his warm hands on you. And your heart, trying to jump out of your chest, with his hot breath on the top of your head. Feeling how close he was to you.

 

A Ra: Let me go Jong Hyun.

//Even though you did nothing to get him off. Just sitting still, not moving//

Jr: I’m sorry.

 

Nuzzling on top of your head, while he tightens his arms wrapped around you. Making your heart aches. Because you don’t know how are you going to leave him. And live without him anymore. You’ve grown too attached to him and way too comfortable of him around you. You felt tears, coming back to your eyes. As you started to sob again. You felt him tighten his hold on you, squeezing you tight to his chest. While he places firm kiss all above your head, neck then cheek. Whispering how sorry he was, with every kiss he placed on you. Breaking the hug, he took both of your hands to his cheeks, warming you up. While you locked your eyes to him.

Kissing the palm of both of your hands, before bringing up to his cheeks, caressing your hand. Bringing your hand down from his cheeks, to his thigh, after it’s warmed up. He cupped your face with both of his hands, wiping your tears away. Before locking his eyes to you again. Slowly lowering his head to yours. Until both of your lips touch. Tasting so much like tears, but neither of you could care about that. Kissing you firmly, his hands went back to your back. Pulling you closer to him. Breaking the kiss after a while.

 

Jr: I know I’m a bad boyfriend. I know I don’t deserve you. I know I put my work before you. I’m sorry. I really am. I know I’m selfish for saying this, but I need you. Please stay. I love you baby. I really do. Please take me back, just this once, again. I’m never letting you go. I can’t survive without you. But if you really want me to leave. I will. I know what I did. And I can’t stand to hurt you anymore. You don’t have to give me another chance to messed up again.

 

//Resting his forehead to yours, he whispered what he wanted to say//

A Ra: You’re such an .

Jr: I know….

A Ra: You’re so selfish.

Jr: I know.

A Ra: You’re an idiot.

Jr: I know.

A Ra: You’re a jerk.

Jr: I know.

A Ra: Why do I even love you.

Jr: I don’t know.

A Ra: I hate you.

Jr: I love you.

A Ra: I don’t need you.

Jr: But I need you.

A Ra: you.

Jr: I wish you would.

A Ra: Just shut up and kiss me.

//With that, he captured your lips roughly to his. Getting both of you in a heated kiss//

Jr: . I’m never losing you again.

A Ra: We’ll see about that.

Jr: Does that mean you’re giving me another chance?

A Ra: Not even in your dreams.

Jr: But I’m not dreaming. And you're still here in my arms. //Chuckling//

//Rolling your eyes at him. You cuddle up next to him. With your legs top of his, while you dug your head deeper on to his chest. Taking his warm//

A Ra: What am I going to do with you…

Jr: You don’t have to do anything. Just let me love you.

A Ra: You’re so warm…

Jr: You’re so precious.

A Ra: I could stay like this forever….

Jr: Than let me hold you forever then.

A Ra: //Chuckling//

Jr: I love you. I really do.

A Ra: I love you too….

Jr: I promise, I’m not losing you ever again.

A Ra: I trust you.

Jr: I’ll prove it to you.

A Ra: I know.

Jr: I’ll do everything I can to make you stay.

A Ra: I know.

Jr: Happy Anniversary my princess.

A Ra: Happy Anniversary to you too, Jong hyun-ahh.

Jr: Arghhh… . I love you so much! //Placing a hard kiss on the top of your head//

A Ra: //Shaking your head. While chuckling// I know. I love me too.

Jr: HAHAHHAHAHA!!! Cute //Placing another kiss on the top of your head//

 

 

He knows he didn’t have to resort to use this trick ever again. Because this time, he’ll treat you right. He isn’t planning to lose you again. He won’t. He won’t let himself to. Because he loves you way too much for his own good. And he didn’t mind. This time, he would put you above everything else. He knows nothing he do from now on, would make him lose you ever again.