GD's POV

 

*click*

 

     flash

 

          *click*

 

The photographer checked the picture on the monitor and gestured for me to change the pose. "One more shot and then we'll have the next set."

 

I nodded and leaned back coolly, putting my arm over the model's thigh and looked straight at the camera. With the amount of eyeliner I had on, the mere act of blinking was even hard to do, but I had to make it work. I'm selling the product, after all.

 

"Nice, very nice!" *click* "Perfect!"

 

"Okay, wardrobe change!" The assistant director yelled out, motioning for the make up team to get ready. "Let's take five. Good job, everyone."

 

I cracked my neck as I straightened, my eyes glancing at the clock over the door. 9:00 am. Ah, . I've been posing in front of the camera for almost four hours now. A woman from the production team started wiping my face with wet tissue as soon as I sat down on the chair while another one removed the accessories I was wearing, tugging them off one by one. I studied my reflection on the vanity mirror and sighed.

 

I don't even recognize myself. 

 

Closing my eyes, I tried listening to the voices around me. There used to be a sense of accomplishment when I do this, knowing that there are people who work hard and enjoy what they do in my presence. It used to give me the kick I needed to get going. But now? It's like I'm losing the flame. My days pass in a daily routine, each one more bleak than the last. Time spent in the mountains felt like a distant memory. My nightmares were back. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night so I try to stay up as long as I can. I don't eat well. I feel tired all the time.

 

The truth is, people don't really get what it means to be an idol. Yeah sure, being in the limelight has its pros:the praises, the money, the fame. It's great while it lasts. But when you take away all the glamour, where does it leave us? By the end of the day, we're just regular people living regular lives. What's worse is that no matter what we do...no matter what I do, nothing ever pleases the crowd.

 

"Ji, are you okay?"

 

I opened my eyes and sat straighter. "Yeah. I'm fine." I should win an award for best actor. TOP-ssi would be proud of me. The hair stylist luckily bought the lie and carried on with her work, leaving momentarily to get some clips. My stomach suddenly growled and I grimaced. Aissht, I'm so hungry. 

 

"Jiyong-ah!" 

 

I whirled around and saw Taehee walking toward me with a huge grin. I wonder what's making him this happy. Did he snag a date last night? 

 

"What's up?" 

 

"Here." He handed me a bento box wrapped in Japanese paper. I stared at it for about five seconds before looking at him with disbelief, my  eyes tearing up with appreciation. "Taehee-ssi," I muttered and slowly placed a hand over his shoulder. "Are you sick?"

 

He looked at me with a similar confused expression. "What?"

 

"In the years I've known you, this is probably the sweetest thing you ever did for me." I gestured to the bento box.

 

"Oh you mean that?" He then laughed, gently punching my shoulder in amusement. "That's not from me, you idiot. Dara suddenly had this crazy idea of throwing a feeding program out of the blue. Look." 

 

The little tokki stood in the middle of the staff area, a huge delivery box placed in between her legs as she giddily handed out noodles to everyone on set. How did she even managed to buy all of these food? When did she do it? I specifically instructed her to stay at the dressing room and wait for me to finish.

 

"She asked me if she could go buy something while you did the photoshoot. She promised it would be fast so I let her. I didn't even know she had been planning this." Taehee chuckled again, shaking his head. "You need to keep her here forever." He winked and left to get his share. 

 

Santokki did this? I glanced at the bento box and slowly peeled off the covering. A note fell out as I did. I picked it up and read it, smirking at the scrawl I'm slowly getting accustomed to. 

 

You shouldn't skip meals or you're going to be sick. Remember, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, juinim. Now eat well while I distract them. 

 

          (^__~)/

 

I opened the box and found another note stuck in between the chopsticks. 

 

P.S. Why look so glum? Smile, boss. I swear I didn't poison your food. Yet. 

 

I looked over to where she was. The director was talking to her while the rest of the team sat in a circle nearby. Dara looked like she was genuinely pleased as she walked around, pouring hot tea for all of them. I must've stared at her for a while since she suddenly looked up and our eyes met. I turned my head so fast I'm pretty sure it warranted a whiplash.

 

Ahh, jinjja. 

 

When I peeked over my shoulder, she was still looking at me. Dara frowned at my direction, mouthing the words, 'Hurry and eat up,' before someone from the staff tapped her shoulder, asking for another cup of tea. She quickly turned and attended to them. Aigoo, what's she doing, catering to their needs? I'm the one paying her, not them! Where's my freakin' tea??!

 

Two guys from my security team walked past me. I called them over. Without a word, I reached out and checked their boxes, flipping the covers to see if they had the same food as I did. Satisfied that mine was more appetizing than theirs, I let them go. They exchanged confused looks as they walked away. Turns out I was the only one who had notes plastered on my bento box that came from the little rabbit. And for some unexplicable bizarre reason, this made me weirdly happy.

 

Tssss. I really need to get laid. I shrugged it off and started digging in.

 

This went on for the rest of the day.

 

During my recording, Dara gave everyone dessert while I got a muffin and my usual Iced Americano complete with another sticky note that's slowly turning into inconspicuous death threats. She would make it sound like she's concerned, but always ended it with some scary overtone that I'd constantly check if she's really trying to end my life. 

 

It's already five in the afternoon and we're currently on our way to the studio for Bigbang's dance practice. Dara was walking ahead of me, her shoulders sagging as she silently dragged my suitcase. It's been a long day and quite truthfully, I feel kinda sorry for her. She had gone so much beyond the duties of a personal assistant and not once did she complain about it. Of course I know she's doing this because of her debt, but still.

 

'Ah-chooo!!'

 

I looked up and found her wiping her nose with the back of her hand. 

 

Aigoo. Seems like the little tokki had contracted a flu. Shaking my head, I slowly removed the scarf I was wearing around my neck and ambled my way toward her. "Ya, Santokki." When she turned around, I threw the scarf over her face. Without a word, I grabbed the luggage and started walking toward the studio again. I heard her following me after a few minutes. 

 

"Juinim!!" She called out. "Ya, Jiyongie! Wait up!"

 

I ignored her and entered the studio without looking back. All I heard was 'oomph!' from behind, indicating that she must've hit her head as the door closed. Kekekeke

 

"Hyung!!" 

 

Oh no. 

 

Seungri immediately catapulted himself toward me, crushing my body in an octopus hug. "Jiyong hyung!! I missed you!" He then produced kissing sounds near my ear.

 

"Ya, get off!!" I shoved him back, desperately prying his hands from me as we both tumbled down the floor. "Seungri-ah!! Do you want to die?! Get off me!!"

 

"Aigoo. Why so angry all the time, hyung? Aren't you happy we get to see each other again?"

 

"No," I snapped as I wriggled away from him. 

 

"Seungri, c'mon. Let Jiyong go." The evil maknae thankfully listened and I muttered a silent thanks to YB as he helped me up. We exchanged fist bumps. 

 

"How's the pictorial?" He asked, swinging an arm over my shoulder while we walked. 

 

I rubbed my face tiredly. "Same old, same old."

 

Seungri jogged to my side, his happy disposition still on high. "Seen any models you liked, hyung?" I shot him a death glare. He raised his hands in surrender and took a few steps back. "Okay okay. Geez, I was only kidding. Lighten up!"

 

Just then, the doors opened and both Daesung and Top hyung entered with Dara trailing closely behind. Her face was barely visible from the scarf I gave her. She looked around the studio before dragging the luggage toward the corner where she decided to become one with the wall. 

 

"Who's that?" Seungri pointed at her. 

 

"She looks familiar," TOP-ssi commented from the bench. "I think I've seen her before..." He scratched his chin.

 

"I doubt you know my assistant, hyung." I was quick to correct him. "She's not from here."

 

Seungri turned to me with wide eyes. "You have an assistant?!"

 

I sighed. "She's just an intern assigned to me."

 

Seungri looked at Daesung and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do you have an intern, hyung?" Daesung shook his head. "Does anyone else have an intern?" Seungri asked the others. Both YB and TOP shook their heads. "Eh?? How come you're the only one who got one, hyung? I want an intern, too!!"

 

"Aiiiiissh." TOP hyung hissed under his breath as he stood up. He then pinched Seungri by the ear, efficiently dragging him to the center of the room. "Stop asking questions, you little rascal. You're so noisy, it makes my ears hurt."

 

"Ow ow!! Hyuuuung!!"

 

Daesung and YB laughed while I lithely stretched, chuckling at Seungri who's now struggling from TOP's monster hold. "Okay, that's enough!" I clapped my hands together and signaled the back up dancers to gather round. Switching into Kwon Leader mode, I instructed them to do the formation for the 'Bang Bang Bang' song. "Let's start from the top, shall we?" 

 

The whole rehearsal spanned about three hours and by the time we were done, all of the members were sprawled on the floor, thoroughly exhausted. 

 

"Begopa," Seungri muttered out of the blue, his chest heaving up and down. "Kogi."

 

We all looked curiously at him. 

 

"I'm craving for meat. Thick, fatty slices of pork belly, kimchi, and ramen." He made slurping noises and my mouth instantly watered at the thought. Daesung stared blankly into the ceiling while Top hyung managed to get stuck in his own trance again. 

 

"We can't," Youngbae said as he sat up. "Sajangnim told us to stop pigging out, remember?"

 

"Screw the president," Daesung suddenly cried out and bolted from the floor. "I'm totally up for some meat right now."

 

TOP glanced at him in open-mouthed astonishment. "I can't believe you just said that." He stalked predator-like towards Daesung who automatically cringed when he placed a hand on his shoulder. "Daesung-ah..."

 

"Y-yeah, hyung?"

 

He paused for a few seconds and gave Daesung his famous bingu Top smirk. "You totally took the words right out of my mouth!" Top hyung exclaimed and clapped him on the back, pumping his other fist in the air excitedly. "Let's go!"

 

"Yesss!! Let's go!!" Seungri instantly gained his energy back and hauled himself off the floor, joining Top and Daesung in a march toward the doors. 

 

Youngbae shook his head and chuckled. "Looks like we're outnumbered."

 

"Apparently." I ran my fingers through my hair and stood up. My eyes scanned the room and found Dara's slumped body on the same spot where I last saw her. She was obviously asleep judging from the saliva dribbling down her chin. Eww. Disgusting. "You go on ahead. I'll meet you guys at the restaurant."

 

He nodded and followed the others out. I walked to the corner of the room, stopping right in front of her. I bent down and flicked her forehead. "Santokki, wake up. We're already done." Nothing. I poked her on the shoulder. She only grumbled in response. An evil thought came to mind and I fished out my phone. I carefully sat on the floor, making sure I don't make any noise as I took shots of her sleeping form, especially zooming in on her open mouth. Aigoo. This is definitely excellent material for black mailing. Kekeke

 

Satisfied with my work, I woke her up properly this time. Her eyelids fluttered as she looked around, her eyes a bit disoriented. 

 

"Is the practice over?" She asked, wiping . 

 

"Yeah. I'll let you off early today. I know you're tired." I took the luggage and helped her up. She yawned and stretched, her hands almost hitting me in the face. I covertly scrambled away from her before she causes actual damage. "Let's go."

 

We were already inside the car when I asked her where she lived.

 

"Eh?" She blinked repeatedly. 

 

"I'm assuming you have an actual place that you go home to aside from Bom's? That kind of thing?"

 

"Oh. HAHAHA! Of course, I have one. A house, I mean." Her laugh sounded off. 

 

"Okay. Where is it?" I asked again. 

 

"Um...it's just nearby..."

 

I shot her a dubious look. "You do know that I'd need an actual address for me to drop you off, right? Just nearby is pretty vague."

 

She bit her lower lip and immediately glanced out the window. What's wrong with her? Does she want to pee or something?

 

"Here!!!" 

 

The car immediately skidded to a stop. I almost fell out of my seat if it weren't for my fast reflexes. When I turned, she was already unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door in a hurry. I looked out the window and around the unfamiliar streets lined with traditional houses. I glanced back at Dara who looked about ready to sprint. Was she that eager to leave my presence?

 

"This is where you live?"

 

"Yep!" She enthusiastically nodded. 

 

"Where's your house?" I craned my neck to see further into the street. 

 

"M-my house? Um...my house is right over...there!" She pointed to a brick house with the red colored roof. "That's my house at the end. Yep. Home sweet home." I nodded and started putting on my mask and cap. She looked at me with panicked eyes. "W-what are you doing?"

 

"What does it look like?" I said, stepping out of the car. "I'm going to walk you home."

 

"No!!" She suddenly pushed me back inside the car, slamming the door in my face.

 

"Ya, are you crazy?!" 

 

She shot me an apologetic look. "I'm just afraid someone will see you and get the wrong idea! Best to lie low for a while, don't you think?"

 

What was she playing at? 

 

"Dara is right, Jiyong. It's better if you don't come out. You know how the paparazzi works."

 

I exhaled loudly. "Fine. At least take Taehee with you."

 

"Aigoo, there's no need. I've walked here for many years so I'm going to be fine! Seriously. Just go." She waved us off.

 

"You're not hiding anything, are you?"

 

She swallowed. "A-ani."

 

Curious. Very curious. "I actually don't care." I smirked and waved coolly at her before sliding the window up, the car revving away from her dumbstruck face. 

 

 

Dara's POV

 

"Agassi."

 

I looked up from the book I was reading. Butler Kim was standing by the door, his snowy white hair a great contrast to the wooden panels on the wall. I glanced at the grandfather clock. It's nearing midnight. Gosh, I haven't even noticed. "It's late. Why are you still up?"

 

"I should ask you the same thing." I moved the rest of the books to make space for him in the bay window. "Can't sleep?" I nodded. "Do you want me to get you a warm cup of milk?"

 

I smiled. After all these years, he still treats me like a kid. "No, thank you. I was just doing some light reading."

 

"Still the same book, I see." He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Le Petit Prince. You always loved that one."

 

I ran my thumb over the cover. Dog-eared and old. Pages were almost torn. Still, it was a first edition. And a classic. 

 

"You used to lock yourself in here when you were little. Gave me a hard time getting you to eat a proper meal." We both laughed at the memory. "You were a pretty fast runner."

 

"Still am," I reminded him with a grin.

 

"Arayo. That you are." He rubbed his knee and sighed. 

 

"Does it hurt?" I let go of my book and gently placed my hand over his own. 

 

"Most days." He glanced out the window pensively. "Side effects of aging, I'm afraid."

 

"Do you want me to get a hot compress?" I was about to stand up when he took hold of my wrist, bringing me to sit beside him again. 

 

"I believe it's my job to take care of you, Dara-ssi. Not the other way around."

 

"Aigoo. You're no stranger, Mr. Kim. You're basically family." His face turned melancholic when he looked at me. "Is something wrong?"

 

He shook his head. "Thirty years," he began. His voice had gotten more gravelly. But still gentle as I remembered. "Thirty years I've served your family. Your father had given me hope when I thought all was lost. A purpose, you might say." He paused. Covered his mouth as he coughed. I massaged his back. "Thank you."

 

I only smiled. He took my hand in his. It was wrinkled. Two of his fingers were crooked. War injury. Never healed, he used to say.

 

"Everything happens for a reason, little one. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right." He folded my hand in his lap. "And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." His eyes are sparkling brown pools of knowledge boring into mine. "No matter how life gets hard, you need to keep fighting. Arasso?"

 

I sniffled, wiping my nose with the sleeve of my pyjamas. I'm such a crybaby at times. I hate myself.

 

"Aigoo. A lady never snivels." 

 

"Good thing I'm not a lady," I willed myself to stop acting like a loser. Butler Kim laughed and hugged me to his chest. 

 

"Sometimes I wish you stayed a child so I can tuck you in. Protect you from this harsh world." He smoothened my hair. "But I can't do that. You need to figure things out for yourself." He gently pushed me away. "You still have a long way to go."

 

"I'm dying," I whispered and more tears fell. He wiped it away. 

 

"Your faith is dying. Not you. Don't give up, Dara-ya. Life is meant to be lived. And time is meant to be used well. Do not waste it thinking about things that might never happen." He patted my head. Always patiently watching over me. When my torrent of sobs turned to silent sniffles, he finally stood. "That's enough drama for tonight. You need to take some rest. And might I suggest leave the light reading in broad daylight next time?"

 

I laughed despite my dripping nose. He made his way to the door. Paused. Then turned to look at me over his spectacles. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." 

 

He was quoting the Little Prince. I smiled. He winked before closing the door. 

 

He's right. From now on, I'm going to live everyday as if it were my last. So that when it's time for me to go, I'll have no regrets. 

 

 

 

 

 

****

 

Trivia: Butler Kim's wise words were actually Marilyn Monroe's. Kekeke Thought it would best fit in their conversation. So sorry for the slow burn, guys. And even the slower updates. I promise to try harder. A big shout out to all who subscribed to this story and those who take time to leave comments. I deeply appreciate it!! Saranghe!! <3