EXO POV

"Good work everyone! We can finally roll up! You all better get some rest until Monday and-" I hear the producer shout outside my cabin. The ruckus only gets louder as the staff and my colleagues regroup themselves to spend the morning together. They are probably going to be-

"EXO, wanna go out for a drink?"

Exactly as I had thought. Who can blame them though? We all have been working nonstop for the last thirteen hours and the past two weeks have been really loaded, especially for the staff who have even been sleeping on set. To release all that pent-up stress is probably what we all need at the moment but I have something entirely different in mind.

"No!" I shout back as I pop open a cold water bottle and gulp down the liquid. My back is aching and I know that underneath all the makeup, there are bags under my eyes. A couple of drinks would probably help me get my much-needed sleep but today, I would have to use something else.

"Okay," they call back. Who is that? I can't really tell. Shin, Tae, Chow... does it even matter?

I pick up my jacket and keys, loosening my tie, and make my way to the exit. People are walking in every direction, yawning loudly as they head towards their vehicles.

"EXO!" I hear my manager shout, just as I stop in front of a passing mirror. My eyes take in the sight of the worn out dude who reflects back at me. He looks like he needs to camp in his bed for months. But we all know though that this won't be happening any time soon. "You're heading back to the dorm?"

"Yeah!" I say over my shoulder, picking up an abandoned cap and fixing it over my head. It might already be around three am but you can never know with the press. I really ain't in the mood to deal with them right now.

"Okay. I'll bring the car!"

He doesn't give me time to argue, not that I would be able to have my way. It's ironical but the great EXO, as you so often say EXO-L, ain't as free as the rest of the world. So, pouting, I drag my feet to the back door and wait.

It is pitch black outside and there are barely any stars, not that I was expecting any in this big city. I can't even remember when was the last time I looked up and was amazed by their sight. They are out there though, right? Someone said, in a movie I think, that just because we can't see something doesn't mean it isn't there, somewhere. It reminds me of you...

The car pulls up in front of me and I waste no time to jump in. As we drive through the still awake city, I take out my phone. Time to check the messages you left today too, even if it's been a while since I've said hi. A ridiculous smile stretches itself across my face when I read the first ones.

"Oppa, stay healthy!"

"Fighting, Oppa!"

"Saranghae Oppa!"

These are the most common messages but I really like it all. Simple words that remind me every day that you are there. That is all that I really need but you never cease to surprise me with your poetic skills.

I shift between SNS to see what you have been up to today. I can never be sure with you, EXO-L. The way you shift between being a soft stan and a hard stan might give a whiplash someday. But if I might say, you're actually quite funny especially since you still think I don't know about it. 

"He protects but he also attacks!" I see above two pictures of me. One is of me at the concert with a crown of flowers waving at you while the other is of me dancing at one of the recent music shows. I scroll lower and four pictures of me dancing appear again. There are barely any differences in them; just a wider smile or a hand lower but I know that I would find it all in your phone. Why do you save all of this? You must really be missing me.

"We're here." says the manager, pulling open my door. I did not even realize that we had arrived. Silly, me who always gets distracted by you...

It takes about five minutes to get to my room. But since everyone else is sleeping, I lock up my door and jump on the bed. You might be sleeping and you might not be. I don't know for sure but I really want to talk to you. That's a good enough reason, I tell myself as I turn on the app.

This is one of the best parts; watching you come online, the figures increasing at the speed of lightning. The comments pour in rather quickly as well. I chuckle, removing my shirt. It's pretty hot here but I make sure you don't see everything. Don't want you to be fainting on me now, do we?

"OMG, did he just remove his shirt!!!! I missed this???" is the first thing I see when I pick up my phone again. That's exactly what I meant.

"Life is about timing," I reply, hiding my smile by adjusting the pillows behind me. This might be quick or not but either way, for me, it would not be enough.

"Oppa, say hi to-"

Just like that, we end up talking for almost an hour. I'd probably get lectured when I get up for not informing anyone about this. Well, I ain't doing anything wrong...

"EXO-L, I was shooting for that movie yesterday. You know, the one that will come out next year. Can you guess the name?"

The answer comes up, flooding my screen, while hearts fill up as well. Of course, EXO-L already knows the answer. EXO-L always knows everything! Except, of course, what I don't want her to know...

"You are so intelligent, Erie-yah!"

I can unfortunately not catch up with everything you say but I do try my best. Most are messages of you saying you love me. A few are about what happened to you during the day or week. For example, about an exam you just had or what you ate for dinner. I like the simplicity of our conversation as if there is only the two of us.

"I'm skipping family dinner for this." I read and my smile withers slightly. It's not always easy to deal with things like this; I know how much you love me but I don't want you to set aside anything just for my sake. But if I say anything, you might tell me that it's because I make you happier than anyone else. This is complicated and I don't think I have the right to add my opinion. Your happiness should come before anything else and I can't make myself ruin it like this...

I can't be weak in front of you. So as skillfully as I can, I shift the conversation to something else and the avalanche of hearts and kiss emojis invade my screen all over again. Erie-yah, you are always so energetic!

Some moments later, I decide to bid my farewell. I don't want to and, clearly, you neither but that's just the right thing to do.

"No, oppa! Don't go!"

"But I have to wake up early, EXO-L!"

"Okay then... Sleep well, Oppa! Good night!"

"Will you dream of me tonight, EXO-L?"

"Yes, Oppa! Will you dream of me?"

"Of who else can I dream?"

I know you are smiling when I turn off the lamp and pull the bedsheets up. I feel more at peace now because of it. Am I selfish to randomly ask for your presence like this? The guilt fades away when I think about you being happy.

Sometimes it's good to say goodbye because I know I'll be greeting you again soon. You are the one love that is always with me, accompanying me through everything thing. The diary beside my bed knows it well for I always share with it the sorrow of not being with you.

I close my eyes but sleep won't come yet. EXO-L, tell me, will you always be by my side? I wanna know how long until the deadline, how long until this time becomes a mere memory? Will you still laugh at my so not funny jokes tomorrow? Will you still find me handsome enough?

What a silly promise to ask of you! But if you stay with me forever, I know I will be able to fly higher and farther. Because EXO-L, you are the source of my motivation, you are always my everything...