SOMEONE’S POV

After I made a call to my bestie, I continue packing my things for tomorrow’s flight. I planned to buy some clothes when I get in Seoul so that I won’t carry that much. I just hope she could find a place for me ASAP.

I grabbed the necessary documents on my table – passport, visa, business files, birth certificate, and driver’s license. did I forget something?

I scanned my table again to check whether I got all the files I needed until I saw something on the drawer… A birthday card?

Oh yes, I remember this one… it’s the birthday card that Taeyeon & Sooyoung gave to me when I celebrated my 20^th birthday.

I can still clearly remember that day… We we’re so carefree and so blissful that time. If I’m not mistaken, Sooyoung almost slipped out in front of me when she about to give the card because Taeyeon pushed her way too hard. Good thing that Hyoyeon, my bestie, is there to pull me away from Sooyoung; in which the latter resulted in falling to the ground.

Without noticing, a tear suddenly fell down on my eye. I wish I can go back to these days…  I miss them so much…

I keep on looking over my drawer and then again, I found a picture – a picture of me and Sooyoung hugging each other.

“Sooyoung ah… Did you forgive me already?”  I thought to myself as I remained looking on the picture.

Well, do you know who Sooyoung is? She’s my girlfriend… my EX girlfriend. I know it’s my fault… I shouldn’t have turned her down. If only I can turn things around, maybe, I won’t be hurting so much… Or rather, she WON’T be hurting that much. All the memories that I struggle to get over are little by little pouring down on my mind again. Tears continue to fall on my eyes as I remember that moment… the moment when I blew away the one who loves me and the one I love…

--FLASHBACK—

I was standing besides the railing to enjoy the scenery at this special night. Well, we’re having a dinner date, courtesy of Sooyoung, at the mountainside somewhere in L.A. She’s the one who planned everything though I wonder what occasion we are celebrating.

As I turned around, I saw Sooyoung slowly approaching me. She looks excited and nervous at the same time. What’s wrong with baby?

When she’s near to me, I gave her the sweetest smile that I can ever have but then, that smile is slowly fading away when she showed me a tiny box with… w-with a ring … Oh my, why now?

She took a deep breath and then kneels in front of me saying  “Fany ah, I love you so much to the point that I will die the moment you’ll say I love you to someone else… You’re my life.”

At that moment, bunch of fireworks painted the sky. But in contrast with that, my heart is aching so badly which is reflected on my face. Why is it has to be now? Baby… I know what’s going to happen next. She’ll gonna ask that sacred question in which I don’t have any answer yet.

 “Will you marry me?”

“………”

I just stared at her blankly because I don’t know what to say. I can’t marry her right now. Not because I don’t love her, in fact I love her so much! I have no doubt about it.

 But… I’m not yet ready… I mean, Taeyeon who is our very close friend, just died and I’m so messed up. I wanted to clear out everything first before giving out myself to her, without any hang-ups, without any setbacks.

“Please?” she caressed her hand, and still looking straight through my eyes. She was keeping herself intact but I know she’s hurting inside.

“Fany ah, please… say something… It’s hard to kneel on a very rocky road.” She showed a fake smile, I know she doesn’t want me to see her crying so she’s struggling to not cry…but she failed.

I pulled her up to stand and dust off the dirt on her knee. I cupped her face and wiped the tear that has fallen earlier. I looked through her eyes… Anger, sorrow, sadness, and jealousy can be seen on it… just merely looking at it feels like stabbing myself to death. Oh God, please help me to make her understand my side…

“Sooyoungie… I’m sorry… I…I…” I trailed off and then she suddenly spoke up.

“Why?” a short but stern reply from her. She’s angry now. I wish she could have let me explain first.

“Soo…” I caressed her left arm but she shrugged me off. “You know how much I love you right?” I can’t think of any ways to appease her. I’m really losing her.

“You love me? Oh really? Is this what you call love?!” Anger, hatred and sarcasm can be felt from her tone. She’s starting to make some nonsense arguments again. Baby…

“Sooyoungie, please don’t make this hard for me…”

“Me?! Don’t you know that you’re making this way too hard for me? Huh?!” This time, tears flow nonstop onto her face, as well as mine.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Baby, can you please calm down?” I tried to hug her but then again, she moved away from me. Aish… PABOYA Miyoung ah! This is really my fault. I don’t want to lose her. Because of that, I gather all the courage and strength that remains on me just to explain my part.

“Baby, please listen to me okay? I c-can’t m-marry you becau—“ Shoot! She cut me off and then…

 “It’s because of Taeyeon, am I right?”

“Sooyoung!” I shouted at her. I don’t want her to drag Taeyeon’s name over this problem, and moreover, SHE being jealous and blaming Taeyeon for my stupid decision. It should be only me who’s to be blamed. Not Taeyeon, not herself, not anyone.

She walked out of away from me but then I’m still hoping that I’ll get her back so being so desperate with it, I pulled her hand and sobbed in front of her.

 “Sooyoung! I love you! I really really love you so much! Why can’t you understand that? It’s just I’m not ye—“

“Let me go… We’re done.” Those final two words shot straight to my heart. Everything just falls apart with just a wrong decision I’ve made. Still, for the last time, I tried to console her…my very last chance…

“S-soo… Hey, b-baby… C’mon… l-let’s talk about t-this at home… Sooyoung ah,”

However, she slowly pulled her hand and then run away. I tried to follow her… I don’t know where we are heading to, but what matters to me now is that I need to catch her up or else, she’ll be gone forever from me. Unaware of where we are, I suddenly heard a deafening beep of a vehicle and loud screeching of tires from somewhere I don’t really know. Little did I know…

--END of FLASHBACK—

That accident. I can still remember that accident which almost took Sooyoung’s life. She was struck by a car when she was crossing the road. Head concussion, fractured bones, and, bruises was sprawled over her body. She lost a lot of blood so good thing we brought her to the hospital just on time or else, she’s now dead.

Since that accident happened, I and Sooyoung didn’t talk to each other. I tried to visit her in the hospital but her parents won’t allow me to see her because she asks them not to. I tried calling her, SMSing, or even sending a written letter to Soojin (her sister) but she said Sooyoung didn’t read it. Weeks have passed and I still did the same thing – visiting to their house (even if they won’t allow me to come in), calling, messaging, and sending letters; but she still won’t budge.

After a few more weeks, I just heard that Soo and her family fly off to Korea and they said they’re gonna stay there for good. Aside from that, one of her friends told me that she’s seeing someone new.  I guess she really hate me that much because she didn’t even tell me something, and worst, she quickly replaced me with someone else.

But what more should I expect? It’s my fault…

Yes…  It’s my fault… but haven’t I’ve suffered enough?

 Isn’t my efforts are not enough to her?

Maybe…

Maybe, we’re not just meant for each other…

But I still love her…

And I never stopped loving her…

Ever since that day…

Sooyoung ah… will you still accept me?

When will I see you again?

You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said;

No final kiss to seal any sins,

I had no idea in the state we were in….

When was the last time you thought of me?

Oh have you completely erased me from your memory?

I often think about where I went wrong,

The more I do, the less I know.

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So… whatcha think guys? First of all, I want to say SORRY for KILLING TAEYEON in this story!!!!! HAHAHAHA. It’s really part of the drama (though it’s more dramatic if she’s alive… LOLZ) so please forgive me… uhuhu. Besides, this is not a taeny fic so I’m still good, right? Haha. Just to clear things out, Kim Hyoyeon and Kim Taeyeon are sisters… yeah, they are sisters. Does it ring a bell to you guys?? Can you remember chapter 2 and 3? Kim stockholding co.? okay… it’s up to you to discover the twist… XD Comments please! P.s. the last two paragraphs were from Adele’s Don’t you remember. I just added it because I think it really fits Tiffany’s POV. =)