“I think I like you.”

“If that bothers you, please forget what I said.”

“Actually, please take into account what I said. I’m sorry if it troubles your, but I like you.”

“I’ll wait for your response.”

                My head falls into my hands and I ruffle my hair, scrabbling the memories of the weekend. However, it doesn’t work. I’m still thinking about it.

I can’t believe I said those words. I actually confessed. Those words actually came out of my mouth.

What was I thinking?

The alcohol or atmosphere must have gotten to me. In my sober mind I wouldn’t have said those words. In trueness, I would have buried these feelings until my death bed, forever having a one-sided crush on Miss Moon. Yet, I had to be brave. Stupidly brave.

I’ve completely messed up my relationship with Miss Moon. The whole weekend I’ve been agonising how to face Miss Moon when we start another work week. If I see her, will she ignore me? Will she act as if nothing happened? I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable she must have felt. She must have hated it. She must hate me. I wonder if she’ll report me to Miss Kim. Will I lose my job? Did I put everything at risk for nothing? I continue spiralling in the tornado of anxiety and terrible scenarios.

However, when I’m in the eye of the storm when I take a deep breath and everything is calm, I think of the other side. 

What if Miss Moon gave me a chance?

Just that slim possibility gave me the hope to confess. Now I just have to be patient and wait for a response. Even if it’s not what I want to hear, at least I won’t have any regrets.

But it doesn’t mean all this isn’t hard enough. Every time I walk around the office, I’m scared to bump into Miss Moon. So far, I’ve managed to not see her, but eventually I will. I’m sure she won’t want to talk to me while at work. The best thing is to act as normal as possible.

I head downstairs for lunch and I bump into the exact person I want to see. At the end of the corridor I see Hyejin speaking to some colleagues. Hyejin catches my gaze and I grin. I wave but Hyejin turns away from me. She suddenly starts heading down the corridor, away from me.

Strange. I’m sure she saw me, but maybe she didn’t.

“Hyejin.” I call.

However, she continues to walk, keeping the distance between us. I jog a little to catch up with her.

“Hyejin.” I call again. This time I’m sure she heard me. Yet, she doesn’t stop.

Finally, I run and put myself in front of Hyejin, forcing her to halt.

“Did you really not hear me Hyejin?” I ask.

She barely looks at me. It hurts because it echoes the exact reaction that I’m scared Miss Moon will have once she eventually sees me. However, it’s not like I’ve confessed to Hyejin. There shouldn’t be a reason why she’s acting like this.

“I’ve got to go.” Hyejin says. Now I know something is definitely wrong.

Hyejin tries to sidestep me but I move in the same direction before she can dodge me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“It’s nothing.” Hyejin returns, moving left this time.

I mimic her movement and now Hyejin’s expression is no longer blank. She’s definitely annoyed at me.

“Talk to me.”

Hyejin scoffs, her true feelings appearing. Hyejin is not the type to mince words so I brace myself.

“That’s rich coming from someone who’s been ignoring my calls and texts this whole week.”

It hit me like a truck. The guilt. It takes a lot to make Hyejin angry and seeing her glaring at me, scorning me, made me realise how bad I’ve been. She has always been there for me and I treated her so badly. I’m an awful friend.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a really busy week.”

“Busy enough to not visit me at my desk? For you to not even message me once? Not a call to tell me you’re okay? That you’re alive?”