“Aarrrghhhh!”

The guttural sound makes Namjoo look towards me.

“Are you okay Wheein?”

I shake my head. I want to cry.

Once again, the spreadsheet formula doesn’t make any sense. All the numbers I’ve inputted have given me sums that made no sense. The graphs that are meant to show a positive trajectory are all over the place. It’s the same work that I had been doing down at the other office floor. So why was I just not getting it?

It’s been two weeks since I’ve been Miss Kim’s assistant and it seems every day is harder. Amongst organising Miss Kim’s schedule, as well as speaking to clients and timing meetings, I had to deal with her work load. This including producing accurate presentations and finding correlations in the building performance. It wasn’t just in the finance department. It was the hospitality department, the IT department, the marketing departing. Everything was under Miss Kim’s watch, including me.

The next thing I know is that Miss Kim’s office opens. From her fiery gaze, I already know she’s not happy. I didn’t have to guess who that anger was directed to. She is already in front of my desk.

Miss Kim slams the folder in front of me. I do my best not to flinch.

“Can you explain this Miss Jung?”

It is the proposal draft that the Dragon Corporation wanted to invest in Motte World’s recent phone release. I had been asked to complete and check the first draft that the admin team had emailed. I don’t dare answer because I know Miss Kim is fully ready to berate me.

“This proposal is full of spelling and grammar mistakes. Even a grade schooler could do better. Do this again, immediately. The deadline is tonight.”

Amongst all the other pieces of work that was due by the end of the week, I know I will have to do overtime again. Unpaid.

“Is that all you can do Miss Jung?”

Disdain is the expression Miss Kim is wearing. She doesn’t even bother wearing a mask anymore to hide her dislike for me. From the way she is making my life extremely difficult, it’s obvious. However, I’m not going to just give up.

“You were highly recommended by Miss Moon but if this is all you can do… It’s disappointing.”

Although she knows exactly what to say to make me feel worse.

Miss Kim disappears with Namjoo quickly following her and I am left in the lukewarm hole filled with my self-loathing and guilt. It’s not fair. If this is a promotion, I don’t want it. I’d rather be down with everyone else, where I actually enjoyed my job. Perhaps I was being babied, but at least I was valued. I felt like I had worth. It wasn’t like everything I did was wrong. Here, my self-esteem is being battered. I don’t know when my defences are going to give way.

My phone buzzes and I see Hyejin’s name flash on my screen. I know I’ve been neglecting her and our friendship, but I had become so busy that I didn’t even get to eat my lunch in peace. I owed her at least some of my spare time.

I switch off my phone. Today was not that day.

I’ll treat Hyejin to dinner and drinks after everything has settled. Firstly, I needed fresh air. Something to take my mind off the pressure. If I am going to do overtime, I might as well feel more refreshed.

On balcony, as I look at the small buildings and the tiny people, I feel the words bubble in my head.

Lame.