5HINee
A FarewellHi Jonghyun
Happy Birthday Jonghyun! Missing you a lot today.
Can't believe how time flies. Is it too much to say that even now when I look at your images, I still have to ask myself 'is he really gone'? I wanted to write to you sooner but just couldn't bring myself to. When I watched that center stage being dedicated to you, and seeing the rest of SHINee try and hold in their pain, I couldn't bring myself to watch or hear SHINee anymore. It got bad enough that I just stopped watching anything that was K-world related. Whether it was kpop or kdrama. I couldn't stand any of it. I would skip all of your or SHINee songs. I couldn't bring myself to delete them but I could skip them and so I did. Every single time. It went on like that for over a month till one day on my way home from a long day, I was half asleep and your song Y Si Fuera Ella played and being tired and sleepy I didn't skip. And I realized how much I missed listening to your voice and all of SHINee's. And so I went on a marathon again of SHINee remembering what drew me in before. Of course, it still gets me down whenever I come across an image of only 4 SHINee but I console myself knowing that just because my eye only sees 4 doesn't mean that SHINee isn't 5HINee.
Your brothers are truly strong Jonghyun. They are doing great and are always thinking of you. They still believe and make all of us remember that they have always been 5 and will continue to be 5HINee. It just amazes and hurts me to know if me being just a fan that has never even met or seen you in person feels this much hurt then those who are closest to you, how do they feel. And that makes me realize how strong they really are. I may have stopped being stupid but there is still one song I can't bring myself to listen to and that is Replay. I don't know when it will stop hurting enough so I will be able to hear it again but I will try my best.
Happy Birthday again Jonghyun!
I wish you are truly happy wherever you are. And hope our voices and wishes reach you. Really missing you and your beautiful voice Angel Jjong.
You Did Well, Jonghyun
Happy 28th Birthday! <3
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