(W) I Owe You My Happiness

A Farewell

Dear Jonghyun,

I'm not sure where i want to start. You mean so much to me and it's hard for me to explain that but i’m going to try. You are a massive inspiration to me. From your music to your amazing personality, you were, are, everything i strive to be/accomplish. You were so amazing in every sense and it’s such a shame you had to leave. When i first heard the news, i couldn't believe it. IT didn't hit me until i saw how upset a friend of mine was. I cried so hard. I kept saying "I'm sorry", and at first i didn't know why. But then i understood why. I was sorry no one was there to help you before it was too late. I had been sorry that you were alone, because i know how it feels to want to kill yourself. I had attempted about 3 years ago, and i almost died. I had used pills and if i had swallowed more than i did, i would have died. I know how you must have felt when you decided to kill yourself and i am so sorry. I understand how lonely you must have felt and i wish someone had stopped you. I was lucky, i had survived but. . . but you didn't. I hope that you are better now. I hope that wherever you are, i hope that you are in a place where you can be at peace. I miss you so much. So damn much.

After i had finally stopped crying (after two days of sobbing) i began thinking about suicide. My whole family has a history of suicide, and i began thinking about my friends and family. I realized that they may not always be there one day and i can't wait to tell them how much i love them. So i have been more open about my feelings. I tell my friends and family how much i love them, i'm nicer to strangers, i show affection. I'm just trying to do everything i can to make people know how much i love them and how much i care. I don't want to experience any more grief.

When i first started listening to Kpop, SHINee was the first group i ever listened too. You will always be the reason i fell in love with Kpop. If it wasn't for you and your talent, i might not have found something that makes me so happy. I owe you my happiness. You helped me find a Family. A place where i can be who i want without being judged, because there are a million others who feel the exact same way.

I hope your soul has found the rest it deserves. I hope that you feel the love and i hope you understand just how much you meant to everyone. May you rest in peace. You will forever live on in the hearts of people worldwide, in the form of love and smiles and the knowledge that you were a legend.

 

-A Fan who will never forget you

 

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AIMRWV
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.

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Redofthedawn
#1
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
luv_kero
2435 streak #2
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
Viola_Ella #3
Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.
Evelyn_64
#4
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.



Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
OdetteSwan
924 streak #5
I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.
OdetteSwan
924 streak #6
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Redofthedawn
#7
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
lovelyfeisty
#8
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
wonpokemon
#9
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
aseulmonsta
#10
❤️