I'm not gonna say that depression is already in my past (hell i don't even know if i had/have depression) but these days I really feel good like the suicidal thoughts are now long gone, I kind of don't feel alone/lonely anymore, I don't feel hopeless/worthless anymore, I don't feel mentally (and physically) tired/drained anymore and these are all thanks to him, KPop and Kdrama in general. I found new hobbies and friends and specially I found out more about myself and just when the news about Jjong broke out when i was studying for an exam the next day, I suddenly couldn't bring myself to continue studying and I just kept staring at the screen trying to process if it was real or not or just a prank and all night I cried myself to sleep. I cried for 2 days and it was an exam week. I just couldn't really fathom that Jonghyun's dead y'know... it's just so sudden. Until now I still feel guilty because they saved us from these demons inside us yet we didn't even know that they were also slowly being swallow by them and unable to help.

I may not have been a big fan of yours but I have known you for 7 yrs already. I admire you not only because of your voice but because of how kind & caring you are to everybody (esp to your hoobaes) and how brave you are to always fight to what you know is right and how you're always open to what you're feeling and I'm sorry if we didn't know that it was this severe.

You did well Jonghyun, you've suffered a lot yet you've endured it all this long. You don't have to worry about the people you've left, you don't have to worry anymore Jonghyun. You've done enough. Please be in peace wherever you are. You will never be forgotten. You've left a great memory to us. You will always remain as the brave star, Dino jjong, Bling Bling, Jonghyun to us. We will always love and support you. Take care.