(W) Please Stay Strong

To the most beautiful angel,

I had been scrolling through twitter when the news broke out. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I refused to believe it until SM confirmed it. And when they did, I felt like the world around me had shattered. Even now, after I've had some time to process, I still find it hard to articulate what I want to say. So I will do my best to explain it here. Jonghyun, I wish so much that you didn't have to feel the pain you felt whilst on Earth. It hurts me to think that someone as beautiful as you had felt the same endless pain that I feel. Truthfully, there have been so many times when I wanted to kill myself. I told myself that everyone would be better without me. They wouldn't miss me or mourn the loss of me. Suicide is something I thought about long and hard about for many years. It's something I've nearly done on many occasions but could never follow through on. Dear angel, when I read your final letter, I had never connected to something more in my life. Every word you spoke felt like it was coming from my own mouth and that scares me. It scares me because the pain I feel is not something I would ever wish on anyone. I hate to think that you felt the same way. I hate that you had the same experiences with doctors as I have. I hate that they brushed your depression off just like they have done to me. Sweet beautiful angel, I love you more than I can express in words. I hope that you are happy and healthy up there in Heaven. I hope you know that you have inspired so many people to follow their dreams. But most importantly, I hope you can see how much you have helped and encouraged people like me to seek the help they need. Rest easy, my love and know that you did well.

To Taemin, Minho, Onew, and Key
Beautiful loves, please stay strong. I know this is a hard time for you. Grieve as much as you need to. SHINee World will always love and support you no matter how much time you need. We love you <3

To my fellow Shawols,
I wish I could hug every single one of you. Please stay strong. Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who love you. Please don't be afraid to seek help if you need it. Always remember that Jonghyun, Taemin, Minho, Onew, and Key love you. Shawols love you. Your friends and family love you. Don't forget to love yourself.

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Redofthedawn #1 Aug 7, 2023 07:53:21

I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.

luv_kero ^{2443 streak} #2 Dec 18, 2022 09:15:11

Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3

Viola_Ella #3 Dec 18, 2022 03:56:50

Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.

Evelyn_64 #4 Dec 18, 2022 00:55:41

It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.

Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.

OdetteSwan ^{929 streak} #5 Dec 18, 2022 00:11:36

I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.

OdetteSwan ^{929 streak} #6 Dec 18, 2021 15:31:45

Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.

Redofthedawn #7 Dec 18, 2021 15:23:33

Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️

lovelyfeisty #8 Dec 18, 2021 05:29:15

It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.

wonpokemon #9 Dec 17, 2021 22:21:02

i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.

aseulmonsta #10 Jul 21, 2021 15:41:11

❤️