The One In More Need

A Farewell

He was one of the first biases I had, my beginning, the one I fought for with my cousins 9years ago.. I remember how I loved Shinee's Hello a lot made it my alarm, woke to it every morning jumping singing along, trying to follow his tone... I watched a lot of programs where they were being funny as usual.. Those 5 never ceased to make me laugh especially him.. He shone.. His smile.. His soul.. And his talents.. I miss him a lot..
I went through depression too for several times, I shared his feeling of insecurity toward the thing he loves, the dread to lack so much.. Little did he know that he excelled.. For artists their talents were the things that identifies them it's something they treasure so much and it getting ignored is heartbreaking it's like everything you worked for was destroyed before you... Being alone, feeling lonely wouldn't help on top, no one did notice and even the people he opened up to didn't know how to help... In the end he decided to do that.. I can't believe he is no longer around, the one who helped me through a lot of hardships was the one in more need.. Now I could only try to hold my tears.. It's annoying the fact that I keep seeing him beside me smiling as bright as he does every time.. I say he is gone.. I say idiot.. Why did you leave? Why and my tears just fall.. It's heartbreaking thinking about his fellow members they lost a brother, a best friend... Now I question every life choice I have.. How to get over this.. I'm in denial... I hardly can sleep and when I do I see him in my dreams, I wake up wishing everything was just an ugly nightmare but... Oh it's real.. I wanted to do something for him.. A fanart.. My first fanart that will be a tableau.. Him smiling with angel wings.. But can I do a good job? Will I let him down, like always.. I'm lacking.. Im an amateur... I just copy I'm full with insecurities without him.. But again I want to do my farewell this way.. Oh no oh how I hate saying goodbye... I will keep you alive in my memory through everything.. It just hurt me the fact that I was unable to meet you.. But please god let us meet in the end of my journey.. I hope he is fine now, resting in peace.. He said to let go.. But it's not easy as it's said.. I can't he will always be in my heart, in the back of my head... Just the word death now clenches and claws my heart.. I lost my blingbling... We all lost him.. But the heaven gained another bright angel.. Take care kim jonghyun.. You are a precious person I hope you realize that now.

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AIMRWV
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.

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Redofthedawn
#1
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
luv_kero
2416 streak #2
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
Viola_Ella #3
Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.
Evelyn_64
#4
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.



Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
OdetteSwan
909 streak #5
I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.
OdetteSwan
909 streak #6
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Redofthedawn
#7
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
lovelyfeisty
#8
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
wonpokemon
#9
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
aseulmonsta
#10
❤️