I'm Too Far Away

A Farewell

Jong... my angel
You came to me today together with the cold snow
You were beautiful like always I couldn't stop looking at you
But my tears kept falling while lyrics of "Please, Don't Go" took over my head I couldn't hear anything but your angelic voice and voices of SHINee and Shawols singing it together in grief.
You have been so open about your illness and yet no one was able to heal you. I always listened to your songs praying that you get better that you have someone beside you.. I knew that your songs were real that everything your lyrics said was you deep down but even thought I knew I was always too far.. so I prayed there's someone beside you who can listen to you give you comfort make you heal.
It was really hard for you but you've done well you did great Jjong and I am thankful for that
You didn't like fame, you felt pressure because of all the people who have their opinion on you and kept you boxed in you didn't get to live your life like you wanted to I know you were scared of little red light on cameras and I know you only wanted to write songs from behind the scene for other idols but you ended up here because life had it hard for you from the beginning I hope you find peace now I hope you are happy.. I will forever see you in all the things that give me life
In the snow that falls like angel feathers
In the winter that you felt like a part of youself.. I will know that you came to me
In the rain that resables your tears in the raindrops that you loved to fall asleep with I will know you came to me
It the sun that is warm like your whole being in a lit candle that gave you comfort I will know you came to comfort me
In the Moon that you loved so dearly I have always seen you there and I will keep seeing you shine at night
You'll be my moonlight
Just like the New Moon last night.. you disappeared but you'll be born again and you'll never die
We are here to sing your songs to keep you voice
It will be heard forever
I still can't deal with the fact that your time has stopped.. I don't know how can mine keep going
I am scared of the path in front of me
I feel empty and my heart is so heavy I want to drop it cuz I feel every beat so strongly like your heart is resting upon mine it's hard to breath and not to break down
I can't think without crying I can't..
My world has shuttered down but that's not the point.. you must have had it worse to take your own life
You did well, you did great
Now please peacefully rest
I love you Jonghyun and I always will
Take care of your brothers, your family
Watch over them because I can't
Make sure they know you are still with them and I know it will be painful but they'll get used to it just like we all must get used..
I am still crying and I don't know when will I stop this sorrow will last long but I must manage
Everytime I think about how your closest ones must feel it just gets harder and I want to be there for them as well but again I can't I'm too far away
I'll selfishly say 'How could you leave us like this' but I know that we have been selfish for too long
We wanted too much from you and you gave your everything to us now it's our turn to give everything to you
There is so much more that I want to tell you but my mind is still blank
I love you I love you I love you so much
Rest in peace my Angel

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AIMRWV
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.

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Redofthedawn
#1
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
luv_kero
2416 streak #2
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
Viola_Ella #3
Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.
Evelyn_64
#4
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.



Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
OdetteSwan
910 streak #5
I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.
OdetteSwan
910 streak #6
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Redofthedawn
#7
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
lovelyfeisty
#8
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
wonpokemon
#9
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
aseulmonsta
#10
❤️