Chanyeol could honestly say the traditional ceremony was charged in emotion and simply beautiful. The bride had looked totally breathless in her traditional gown, with each of his two cheeks stained with a big red dot. The groom was as handsome as the taller knew him, wearing his Korean wedding robe. Sunny, the little talkative blonde woman and bride-to-be, had requested him to provide pictures to decorate the reception room. Of course, she has assigned him to be in charge of the weeding pictures. She had trusted Park Chanyeol, famous Seoul photographer and one her closest friend, to capture the most beautiful memories of her long-awaited date. After all, Sunny was marrying Park Hyungsik she had been dating for two years. Chanyeol had witnessed their love blossom, it was normal he was taking part actively in this weeding.

As he was checking his work for any last-minute change in the reception room, he smiled thinking about how the two got together. The pictures Chanyeol had chosen for the room were exactly portraying that. He put extra care into his work, so one could totally and instantly get the relationship thread of the newly married couple.

The photographer, wearing an all-black Louis Vuitton tuxedo, spun one last time in the large room, satisfied with what he pulled off. He stopped as one picture brought back memories he should have forgotten long time ago. It was a simple day at the park for the newly married couple but an eventful one for Chanyeol. The couple was posing in front of the Han two years ago from now exactly. Chanyeol could remember perfectly, since he has been the one to capture the moment. If it had been a happy moment for Sunny and her boyfriend, that day, it had been one of the saddest and most heartbreaking for Chanyeol.

How come Chanyeol and Sunny were still friend, it was something Chanyeol could not explain either. But he had grown fond of the bubbly girl, despite the absurdity of their first meeting and the many following events.  He could still remember how Sunny, out of nowhere, requested urgent help from a total stranger who happened to be him. At that moment, he had been patiently waiting for custom checking at Incheon airport. The crazy little woman had totally requested the craziest thing ever.  When she asked him to simply bring a driving license to her best friend, who was currently stuck in Paris CDG Airport, he had found the idea totally absurd at first. The only reason he had accepted to take the driving license with him was, first, because of Sunny’s genuine worry for her best friend. The second reason has been the driving license profile picture of the said best friend.

Chanyeol had never fell in love at first sight or believe it either, even less with a picture. But the man on the picture caught his attention. Again, that was before he finally met the man at the airport in France. Somehow, at this moment, Chanyeol already knew he would undeniably fall for Byun Baekhyun.

Chanyeol would always be thankful to Sunny for one thing. Thanks to her, he had a taste of true love, at least that is what he believed. At his first encounter with Byun Baekhyun, it has been clear to him the smaller would be someone he would claim eventually.  Chanyeol remembered the awkward moment when they met at the airport. Baekhyun had apparently no clue he was the one bringing his driving license from Seoul. Then they started a 8 hour journey stuck in a car. Let say, they had time to get to know each other. At the end, Chanyeol could not help to develop feelings for the man. 

Baekhyun had never been his type of man, but his fragility and insecurities had triggered him in a way he could not explain. Someway he felt touched by the man and he just wanted to know more and more about him. Then, a lot of things happened. They discovered they were about to be part of the same family, Baekhyun panicked and made the thing even more difficult for Chanyeol. Eventually, Chanyeol and Baekhyun started to date when they came back to Seoul. Stronger and deeper feelings grew between them. Getting to know someone you were sharing so much with, became effortless and crucial to Chanyeol.  It appeared that finding time has not been easy for them: Chanyeol’s career in photography started to take off considerably while Baekhyun’s shifts at the cardiac intensive care unit turned chaotic. But still, they found a way to make it work. Again, that was before Baekhyun’s insecurities and confidence drop started to kick in one more time. He should have seen it coming way long before. All the signs were there. However, Chanyeol’s feelings for the man were unconditional.

When Sunny just met Hyungsik, Chanyeol and Baekhyun had been a solid couple for almost a year and a half. The fall of their relationship only occurred six month later…

Still looking at the picture, Chanyeol could still remember how Sunny has been demanding to go on a double date at the Han River. Thinking about it now, present time, Chanyeol did not know why he had thought it was going to be a good idea in the first place. Baekhyun never showed any sign he was pleased with the idea either. Yet, at that moment, Byun’s usual shininess had disappeared from his gaze, letting place to gloominess and all the depressive . Again, it should have been a sign for Chanyeol to not go to that double date and rethink his idea of asking Byun Baekhyun to marry him, at this special moment.  Timing had never been a quality in their relationship anyway, and Chanyeol should have felt it.  Hence the rejection that came afterward and the all questioning of their relationship. Has he been too in a haste when asking? Chanyeol had been sure of his feeling for the small surgeon and he had stupidly thought they were reciprocated.

It came to a shock for the tall photographer, when 6 months later, after Baekhyun’s rejection to his proposal, the latter just claimed that they should probably have a break. Chanyeol had suffocated a little, got several headaches and panic attacks. Deeply, Chanyeol had seen it coming, although Baekhyun had successfully made him believe that despite the engagement rejection, his feelings were as intact as before, and there should be no door for Chanyeol to be insecure about Baekhyun’s feelings.

Three weeks after the beginning of their so-called break, Baekhyun came back to Chanyeol with words of apologies, stating he had been a fool to ever think he was not in love with Chanyeol.

The second time Baekhyun asked for a break, Chanyeol was tired of it all when Baekhyun came back to him one more time. The smaller had revealed he was totally insecure in his love life and even though he loved Chanyeol, he could not help but auto-destroy everything that was making him truly happy. Chanyeol took him back because he had never loved someone as he did with Byun Baekhyun. During their two years of dating, Chanyeol had given Baekhyun his all. However, the fact the older had requested time away from him, two times, had hurt his feelings and made him consider if Baekhyun was worth all the pain he was inflicting him. Truthfully, Chanyeol already knew the answer to that.

The last blow came five month later. Chanyeol had observed his boyfriend. Living together had let him plenty opportunities to find out Baekhyun was stressed about work. His surgeon schedule was becoming hectic, so much that Baekhyun was losing hold of it. Though Chanyeol had honestly wanted to be there for his lover and support him through his struggle, Chanyeol himself was busy, caught in a wind of new opportunities and different successful things happening to him and its career. He had the opportunity to own his own gallery and to expose his work as a resident.  This was a big step for him and the only thing he wanted was to share the good news with the man he loved and only wanted to call his for the rest of his life. Again, Baekhyun had different plans regarding their relationship. That night, when everything broke apart, he had recognized Baekhyun’s trembling hands and the panic in his eyes. Chanyeol had wondered when Baekhyun’s outburst of emotion would damage their relationship. And this time, he had not been disappointed when the smaller stoically pronounced the three fatidic words he was the most afraid of. It is over. Chanyeol had not asked for further explanation because he knew somehow, there would be back together in a few. He just had to wait Baekhyun to calm down and realized what he had done. Chanyeol had taken it as a game in which Baekhyun would panic and he would just patiently wait for the earthquake to stop. But still, Chanyeol’s feelings were suffering and there was no place left for game in that department. The axe pending upon his neck eventually sliced when Baekhyun announced that he was struggling at work and he needed a breath of fresh air. Hence, his decision to leave as a red cross medical team member in Africa for a year initially. That has been the last for Chanyeol. At this moment, he understood that whatever he would say to Baekhyun, it would not make him change his mind at all on this. He had lost the older.

It had been humbling of Baekhyun to take that decision and quite brave, if Chanyeol had to admit.  Regarding their relationship, it had been totally selfish and Baekhyun knew it too well. He had fled simply as that. When Sunny had earn the news from Baekhyun, her long time best friend she had been quite disappointed to see him leave on a hasty decision. She knew Baekhyun quite well to figure out this decision was taken on an impulse to avoid something. Except, she had been fed up to constantly try putting sense back into Baekhyun though it was her duty since elementary school. Eventually, Baekhyun and Chanyeol broke up, the smaller moved out from their shared apartment and Chanyeol never heard about him, letting the taller tending to his broken heart by himself.

If Chanyeol though getting over Baekhyun was easy he had been very wrong. Everything in his daily life was remembering him of their life together. It was so overwhelming Chanyeol even though about moving out from this damn apartment. It did not get better when he started receiving mails from Baekhyun when he was stationed in Uganda. He had not expected the older to contact him at all, but knowing Baekhyun was fine out there, was all that mattered. The red cross doctor had tried to apologize through mails and skype sessions. But Chanyeol needed time. No matter how hard Chanyeol wanted to hate Baekhyun for what he had done, he could not find the strength in himself at that moment.  So that was what Chanyeol requested to the older …just time and comprehension.

Then again, Baekhyun stopped giving news and Chanyeol became even busier at work. Nonetheless, he never forgot and just let his ex-boyfriend in a corner of his mind. In almost two years, he got closer to Sunny while her initial best friend was somewhere crossing the African continent, helping his fellow doctor colleagues.

Six months later, without news from Baekhyun, here was Chanyeol at Sunny’s wedding, making sure that the reception room was perfectly arranged as his friend requested it. The newly married couple was about to make their entrance in a couple of minute. When he deemed the pictures perfect for the moment, he joined the guests outside while they were still congratulating and accompanying the couple, it was the rule.

The reception was going great. Chanyeol had time to greet all the familiar guests and introduce himself to those he didn’t know yet.  Sunny had made sure to let go of her husband’s arm and grab Chanyeol’s. As her bride man, she wanted all the attendees to know about him. She was all smile and was apparently enjoying what seemed like the best day of her life. Of course, Chanyeol was glad he was there to witness it. Sunny had help him to recover after his break up and he owed her big time. Lately, he had been back on his two feet and he hoped he would keep in doing so. But that was before Byun Baekhyun appeared, standing at the main entrance door…

It was not a surprise to see him there. Sunny had warned him longtime ago she has sent Baekhyun an invitation, and for that they faced an argument.  Though, she never confirmed Baekhyun was attending the event. Hence, Chanyeol’s panicked eyes looking for Sunny’s gaze when they both realized Baekhyun was indeed here. Sunny has not been able to stop her sprint toward Baekhyun in a frenzy, because she had missed her 28 year-long best friend.  Even though she had resented him for what he had done to Chanyeol, she had always been a loyal friend to Baekhyun. Truthfully, she had missed him period. Having him in her arms right now became so much more important, so she decided to enjoy the moment. Chanyeol watched the all scene from afar. He felt nostalgia as he looked at Sunny and Baekhyun hugging each other. The smile on his ex-boyfriend was something so precious. Being able to see it again was a true blessing. His throat constricted a little, suddenly leaving him dry. He wanted to go to the brunette, but his feet were rooted to the floor, paralyzing him on the spot. He finally stopped a waiter with champagne on his tray, before helping himself with a glass. He needed liquid courage to go through this again.

Chanyeol smiled politely to the guests but his heart was not doing accordingly.  He needed a bit of fresh air. The large door at the end of the reception ball room, leading to a garden, seemed to be the only exit possible.  He took a glimpse of Byun Baekhyun a last time, watched Sunny introduce him to a few guests and have him great her parents he had not seen for almost one year and a half. One last glance and Chanyeol finally disappeared in the green vegetal space.  

It had not been that difficult to spot Chanyeol in the crowd. The tall lanky man has not changed that much and the panicky feeling, he had the first time he met Chanyeol, was instantly back.  Park Chanyeol was still as charismatic as he has been all along and the uneasiness Baekhyun was feeling now was not quite unpleasant. Once he had greeted Sunny’s parents, he followed Chanyeol as the taller exited the ball room. He arrived in a garden and he had that feeling of Deja vu. The only thing he did not know was how to start the conversation while Chanyeol was back facing him.  He got closer from Chanyeol’s back, still dreaming to be able to touch him freely. The closer he got, the guiltier he was feeling, the pain consuming him internally, burning his tongue, leaving no place for words to come out. Baekhyun was not sure yet how he succeeded in staying so calm and so quiet that Chanyeol did not even heard him creeping behind him.

Suddenly, Chanyeol turned around and bumped into a flesh and bone mass. Baekhyun, in a habit, grabbed Chanyeol’s left forearm and his waist at the same time, to avoid falling. Then it was a matter of time before their eyes met. When Baekhyun realized how close they were from each other and the way his hands were too securely placed on Chanyeol’s limbs, he immediately let go of everything as if the touch was burning him.  

Baekhyun immediately joined his two hands together to keep his calm “Hello Chanyeol”

Chanyeol wondered how many shock he would have today. Having Baekhyun holding him a few second ago after bumping into him and now being able to hear his own name being voiced by Baekhyun was just a blessing to his ears. He had not expected that effect when seeing Baekhyun, but what had he anticipated? It had been Love at first sight 4 years ago and from the way his heart was thumping on his chest, it was far from being done. Chanyeol was on his toes. His body instinctively wanted to hug the smaller man, but his brain was preventing him to do so. After all, Baekhyun had made him suffer freely. Instead, the first thing he said came out breathless.

“Baekhyun...”  Looking down at the man, Chanyeol realized Baekhyun had not changed at all. The way the smaller was looking at him with a smile was confusing enough. He did not know how to react, and he could see his hesitation mirroring in Baekhyun’s movements. They had no idea if they should go with a handshake, a hug or no contact at all. They say time could make damage. Though it did not damage Baekhyun’s beauty, it still wrecked the easiness between them.

“It is nice to see you Chanyeol” Baekhyun simply said to ease the awkwardness.

“I wish I could say the same. I mean…don’t misunderstand it is very weird to have you here, that’s all but of course it is good to see you” Chanyeol tried to make up the situation when he noticed Baekhyun’s smile fading away.

“Okay” Baekhyun’s voice went suddenly lower.

“Sunny and I, we did not know if you were actually going to come, it is a nice surprise you were able to be here” Chanyeol genuinely smiled at his comment because he knew how important it was for the petite woman.

Baekhyun chuckled a little and the sound had the taller wanting to curl in a ball and just cried. He had missed it and until he heard it, he had not realized how much he had missed it.

“I would not have let her marry without me being here, I’m her second bride man, after all. I’m just sad I missed the traditional weeding this morning, but I’ll be looking toward tomorrow then.”

“And I will to” Chanyeol sternly said.

“By the way thank you for taking care of her while I was gone. It means a lot for me” Baekhyun added looking at his hands.

“It is not a favor I’m doing you. I genuinely consider Sunny as a great friend…a big sister even. It seems fair to me to be there for her” His gaze on Baekhyun was insisting and the smaller felt like shrinking under the stare.

“I think it’s fair too” Baekhyun’s smile was sadder by the minute. He could hear resentment in Chanyeol’s voice.

Chanyeol’s suit was fitting him perfectly and for a minute he was silently dying to comb Chanyeol’s silky hair currently arranged in a comma hairstyle. Funny, how they were both sporting the same hairstyle. They looked like just a replica of the other in their own way.

Chanyeol’s hands were buried in his pocket observing the smaller as silence was creeping between them.  Secretly, he was waiting Baekhyun to ask the good questions but knowing how insecure and coward Baekhyun could get sometimes, he knew he would not have any of that coming from his ex-lover. After all, he knew how Baekhyun was acting and reacting too well.

“Well I just wanted to say Hi to you. I can see you are doing well…you look good” Baekhyun patted Chanyeol’s arm before quickly retreating his hand.

“I can see you are doing well… as well your unchanged selfish self” Chanyeol said ironically with a smirk “No offense” 

“None taken. I know it has not been fair to you with my hesitations and my outbursts. I’m sorry about that but I wish we would have waited to start this unavoidable discussion between us a bit latter. It’s Sunny’s day and I don’t want to jeopardize it”

“That seems fair to me” Chanyeol said sternly, laughing interiorly because Baekhyun was so great at dodging, he had always been.

“You look very handsome in this suit by the way” Baekhyun smiled but Chanyeol brushed him of when he retreated to the ball room. Though before escaping, Chanyeol turned around.

“It’s a shame…you could have married the man in this exact same suit” Chanyeol added and left Baekhyun sighing. The smaller did not know what to do and how he would repair damages he had caused to their relationship.

Awkward was not a word strong enough to describe what had just happened. Sunny caught the taller while he was trying to make an escape upstairs where was located the weeding attendee rooms. Sunny has organized her weeding on two days, on request of her parents. They had specially asked for a traditional weeding while the couple only wanted a regular Christian weeding under an arch in a garden, something simple. Filial as she was, she had finally succumbed to her parents' request since they were covering all the cost for this weeding. Consequently, the Korean weeding had been planned the first day, and she would be able to ditch the hanbok for her beautiful white dress the next day. That was all as it was planned.  Hence the logistic deployed for this weeding and the rooms available for the guests so they would stay on site.

“You could have warned me at least” Chanyeol grumbled as he was trying to find a way to get out of here.

“I knew you would have found thousand reasons and excuses to not be present today” Sunny gave him an apologetic smile.

“I would have come. I’m not a thoughtless friend Sunny, but I would have come prepared and armed. You don’t know how it is to see him so easily here as if nothing happened… Imagine not being able to see Hyungsik for a whole year and suddenly he is just in front of you…what would you do? “

“I don’t want to imagine it. I would not want to be in your shoes I know it must be hard for you, but I really need you here with me” Sunny said as she took his hands in hers. Chanyeol could not resist, he had grown so found of her those last for years. She was not his best friend in the beginning, but she eventually became one.  He could not do anything other than sight at her adorable pout and somehow, he was not surprise how she and Baekhyun could be so similar sometimes.

“Though choosing him as your second bride man is not reasonable at all” Chanyeol cutely complained a last time.

“I know! it’s complicated but you should take the time to talk and sort things out between you guys” she bumped her fist in his chest causing him a bit of pain until she looked at him in her scary way that usually made him runaway. He only rolled his eyes and bite his tongue as he proceeded to go back where he belonged.

The night had been very long. It seemed than everywhere he went, Baekhyun’s laugh was following him. Surprisingly, he only drank two glasses of champagne. He needed to stay sober for whatever could come at him at any time. He had different conversations with attendees asking him about his art, and with some friends of Sunny he already knew. At some point, he just decided to crack a cigarette because he needed it. Tonight, reception was supposed to be shorter as the real party was to take place tomorrow night. But It seemed the friends of Sunny and Hyungsik parents were enjoying their time.  At least tomorrow everybody would get to have fun.

Chanyeol came back to the garden, and though he had not avoided Baekhyun in purpose at all, he just made sure that wherever he was going, Baekhyun would be absent. He leaned on the white rose arch already set for tomorrow morning, the one that would welcome the newly married couple. Chanyeol looked at the empty white chairs in front of him and suddenly he felt lonely. Holding his cigarette between his fingers, he picked one of the chair and sat on it.  The sight in front of him had him wonder how his own weeding day would have been if Baekhyun had said yes.

Chanyeol, never dreamt or hoped to get married. It had never been something he was considering. But meeting Baekhyun made it so evident.

“I thought you were done with smoking “The voice was recognizable as the man sat on the empty chair next to him.

“Old habits die hard” During their time together, Chanyeol had considerably reduced his cigarettes consumption until he stopped.  However, his daily intake came back as strong as before when he would be lost into thinking about Baekhyun. Also, burning a camel proved to calm his nerves when he was in the middle of a creative phase or looking for inspiration.

“I know…old habits die hard” Baekhyun looked at him with meaningful eyes, there was something there Chanyeol could not pinpoint but he would not rush the small brunette in speaking his mind.

“Why do I feel our story is a series of déjà vu? weddings, smoking outside, you scolding me …are you going to be drunk this time too?”

“I’m totally sober Chanyeol and if you are too …probably we could talk…” Baekhyun’s dainty fingers were curling in the sitting part of the chair between his legs. He was obviously nervous, so Chanyeol did him a favor and drop the cigarette on the grass to extinguish it with his foot. He knew how Baekhyun would nag regarding smoking stuff, so he fetched the stub and stuck it in his pocket.

“What a good boy” Baekhyun said astonished as if he was indeed impressed by Chanyeol’s way of acting.

“Well I definitely do not want to hear you nag at me tonight so I’m acting in consequence”

The air was a bit fresh but not too cold that would make it unbearable. Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun who was playing with the bang of his dark brown hair. “So how was it? Touring with the red cross medical team. Wasn’t it too hard?”

“It has been enlightening I must say. I truly realized the meaning of life and what was important to me, was not what I used to think” Chanyeol listened without reactions, he was just taking in the information. He had really wanted to know how it has been for Baekhyun since they stopped their skype conversation.

“Better late than never” Chanyeol said looking in the emptiness of the night that was taking over the garden. The situation was heartbreaking. The both looking right in front of them, not daring to look at each other because both knew what was there.

“As you say better late than never” Baekhyun said again and he was surprised to hear a laugh from Chanyeol. The taller was looking at him know with mirth in his eyes

“Are you going to parrot everything I say” The chuckle lingered bringing melody to Baekhyun’s ear until the seriousness in Chanyeol’s voice reappeared. “It makes sense that you don’t know what to say after all this time and to make it easier for you, we don’t even have to go on that part. Let’s forget about it’” Chanyeol grimaced a bit and Baekhyun hated it the most because he could read Chanyeol as an open book.

“You don’t need to pretend you’re doing fine…I know I screwed up from A to Z and you resent me…I talked to Sunny… I know when you are mad…I know you Chanyeol…just you…you don’t need to pretend with me”

“You are amazing Baekhyun” The irony in Chanyeol’s voice deafened Baekhyun. “I’m fine …thanks for the concern.  I think it is a bit presumptuous for you to assume I’m not fine because of you. It has already been two years, and as you can see, I’m back on my two feet” Chanyeol let go with a calm he did not know he had inside of him. Whenever it was about of Baekhyun, he would become agitated and could not contain his feelings.

“okay maybe I’m not doing this right Chanyeol. I wanted to do this for a longtime face to face.  I let a lot of things unsaid, I left as the selfish person I was before. And in the mix of all my insecurities and mistakes, I hurt your feelings and totally discarded them.” Baekhyun’s voice was trapped in his throat. The exercise appeared to be more difficult than he imagined.

“It’s in the past Baekhyun. I have my part of responsibilities probably…I did not give you enough reasons to make you feel secure in our relationship. I probably tried to rush things too soon by asking you to marry me. It was not the right move and now I know it. But I don’t hate you or resent you either. I did in the beginning, but I come to a term with all this”

“Chanyeol …you did nothing wrong at all.  I’m the one who screwed everything up. I ran away while you needed a confirmation of my feelings for you. I failed to see it. You deserve better” Chanyeol’s face got sterner as Baekhyun mentioned this and then, he could not stop his anger.

“This is the words I hate the most Baekhyun.  I do not deserve better. You were what I deserved… you were made for me, you were the best thing that happened to me. Don’t ever say that I deserved better than you Baekhyun. You …you were what was better for me and I won’t let you belittle the feelings I had for you” Chanyeol said tiredly, his feelings tiring him out, before he stood up frustrated.

“I won’t lie to you Chanyeol. I expected something else from the first time we would meet again” Baekhyun quietly said.

“I am very curious to know what you were expecting…. you probably want me to beg and cry, but it can’t happen Baekhyun. I did…I fairly shed my share of tears the first time you asked for a break. Now, I won’t, because this is not new for me…you hurt me, then you try to get away from me. It happened three times already, don’t you think I should get used to it by now?  I’m happy to see you well and breathing but I cannot let you get close to me again” Chanyeol said looking at his feet.

“and why can’t we?” Baekhyun stood facing the taller “I’m trying to be as straightforward as possible, but you know me, it’s not my forte”

“See how unbalanced this relationship has been? I’m supposed to know every aspect of you, while you are not even able to consider my feelings…I feel like I’m the one who was more committed to us and try to put up with you”

“You don’t really think that Chanyeol. You know how much I love you. I did not leave because of you, I did because of me and I was not in a good state of mind. I was lost and at that moment, even your love and affection could not save me…I’m just sorry I had to leave and hurt your feelings for me to realize what I had truly lost…I’m a fool.”

“Indeed, you are….and I’m not trying to be heartless here, but every time I open up to you, I end up hurt… I just need to protect myself…from you…” Chanyeol sadly said.

“Chanyeol…” It felt as if someone stabbed him as he watched Chanyeol walk away from him until his back disappear in the ball room.

Baekhyun sighed, his breathes suffering, his throat tightening as he felt the little box hidden in his pocket.  If he needed an electroshock he had what he deserved.

Chanyeol decided to call it a night.  Tomorrow promised to be eventful and he had to be ready. He retreated to his room and got rid of his tuxedo before enjoying a long hot shower.  He changed into a new boxer and a white tee shirt before yawning and tiredly combing his damp hair. He placed a towel around his neck, staying in front of the mirror contemplating his sad reflection. He was totally confused by Baekhyun, by his own feelings and the uneasiness between them. But still, they could talk to each other as if nothing never happened, as if there has not been a rupture occurring . Chanyeol opened the drawer where he had securely placed Sunny and Hyungsik’s wedding rings for the big day tomorrow, when he got distracted.

He heard soft knocking on the door and immediately looked at the clock next to the TV. It was only 11pm but he was ready to wrap it up and call it a night. When he looked at the peephole, he hesitated for a long minute before reluctantly open the door.

“How can I help you?” Chanyeol asked behind the door, only letting his head appearing boringly.

“Can you let me in? there is something I need to tell you” The smaller pushed on the door, making Chanyeol lose his balance and recoiled, eventually letting the petite brunette inside against his will.  

“Where do you think y- “Chanyeol did not have the time to finish. Baekhyun pushed him against the near wall and threw himself at him. It did not take long for Chanyeol to realize Baekhyun’s lips were on top of his. He really took a lot on him to push Byun Baekhyun away.

“What are you doing Baekhyun?” The smaller grabbed him again with a hand on his nape and the other one covering half of his cheek and half of his ear. Baekhyun kissed him one more time. Chanyeol’s heart refused to cooperate with his head when Baekhyun’s full pink lips were ravaging his.  After all, the heart wanted what he wanted, and his, has always wanted Baekhyun. Like a fool he was being trapped.

“Let me be selfish one more time, let me have what I want” Baekhyun pleaded.

“What about me then? Why can’t I have what I want”

“You will Chanyeol… I know you want this too, right?” Baekhyun sounded desperate and he needed the smaller as much as Baekhyun needed him, at a point it became vital. Being around Baekhyun has always been so dangerous anyway.

“Since you had always gotten what you wanted…” Chanyeol turned them around and so, he grabbed Baekhyun’s rear and lifted him up, so they could kiss at the same height level. He led them toward the bed, Baekhyun still clinging to his damp hair, his teeth nibbling at Chanyeol’s bottom lip.  Their tongues touched and recognized desperately. Chanyeol’s knees deepened on the mattress as he brought Baekhyun’s back gently on the bed cover. The brunette had though, regarding the situation, Chanyeol would have thrown him onto the bed but he never did. Instead, he had never been more delicate and careful.

Chanyeol kissed him thoroughly until his lips traveled on Baekhyun’s left ear, caressing the mole there. He didn’t take time to return to the pink lips he had yearn for and missed secretly, kissing the mole on the upper lip. Baekhyun has always been someone precious to him. Having him in front of him like this, it was as if he never left him. The way is body would respond to Baekhyun’s touch or the manner Baekhyun’s skin would burn under his fingers. It was too familiar to be forgotten. But that was the path Baekhyun had chosen for their relationship.

Baekhyun fumbled with his belt the pressure starting to become unbearable. He could feel Chanyeol’s excitation as the taller was only wearing a boxer now. Thinking about it, Chanyeol had always worn one to go to bed. It seemed it was still a habit and Baekhyun could not wait to get rid of the underwear. Chanyeol realized Baekhyun was struggling with his three pieces suit. Chanyeol lifted on his arm to remove all the useless pieced of clothes.

Their bodies were brushing as Chanyeol grab Baekhyun to place him in the center of the bed.  Baekhyun gasped at his touches, bottom lip trapped under his upper teeth, he bit hard to not moan the name of his ex-boyfriend. But Chanyeol was there, on top of him, killing him softly with touches, kisses on his neck. His tongue travelled lower, lapping at the freckles on his shoulder and kept going even south. As Chanyeol Baekhyun’s s and witness the smaller shudder, the latter circled his arms around Chanyeol bringing him closer, afraid that all of this was just a dream. Chanyeol kept his journey, connecting the moles on Baekhyun’s chest and stomach.

Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol, who was now on top of him, and ended up straddling the taller, looking deeply in his eyes. Chanyeol slowly sat up to face him while he was conformably seated on Chanyeol’s laps, the hair on Park’s nape at the same time.

The younger his back, smelling the skin of his body, hugging him closer and closer. His face buried in Baekhyun’s neck as if his all was being reacquainted with Baekhyun’s body all over again as he breathed the scent of the man.

“Chanyeol please…” Baekhyun weakly moaned

“You said it was over thought…” Chanyeol ushered in his neck.

“I know” Baekhyun said as his hand traveled between their bodies, Chanyeol’s crotch.

“But your clothes say different on the bedroom floor, you know?” Chanyeol asked as his hand deepened between his buttocks, looking for Baekhyun sweet spot.

“I know” Baekhyun’s moans died on Chanyeol’s cheek

“Tell me what you don’t know then?” Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s left hand in his, waiting for his answer. He kissed the palm of Baekhyun’s hand, slowly proceeded to the thumb and the rest of Baekhyun’s fingers, before directing the coated hand on his shaft. Baekhyun picked up from where Chanyeol’s hand left him and started long on Chanyeol’s shaft.

“What tomorrow will be made off” Baekhyun kissed him passionately

“So, is this another meaningless one-night thing?” Chanyeol asked with sarcasm. Nevertheless, Baekhyun knew the guy enough to know he was only hiding his main worry; rejection.

Baekhyun combed the bang of Chanyeol’s drying hair “It can be whatever you want it to be…but no matter what, the fact that I love you won’t change a bit” he felt Chanyeol positioning himself at his entrance. Somehow, they did not have the time to go through s. They needed this connection. It only took one to shut down their minds and surrender to pleasure.

It was almost 2pm when they stopped their love making, a round leading to another. The pleasure and temptation of finally resurging, they laid breathless on the mattress. Baekhyun kissed Chanyeol damp chest before resting his hand on it. He had always love how Chanyeol would cuddle with him after and massage his scalp, lulling him to sleep. But this time, he couldn’t stay in the comfort of Chanyeol’s warmth. Something had to be done.

Baekhyun sat, looking at the bedroom floor, where his clothes were discarded. He suddenly moved out the bed, almost scaring Chanyeol in the process. The latter looked at Baekhyun, his post hair charming Baekhyun who was now in his boxer and actively looking for his pants like a mad man.

“Really Baekhyun?’ Chanyeol had not expected the rejection to come as soon as they were done playing.

“I just need to find my damn pants” Baekhyun’s movements were rushed, picking the clothes and throwing them until he got a hold of his pants. Chanyeol was looking at him clueless, and about to burst in an anger. The though Baekhyun was about to leave just like that, once again, was scaring the hell out of him. After all, drowning feelings, that would not go away, appeared to be difficult. He was too scarred for Baekhyun to make him bleed like that, so easily. He knew it was a mistake to have succumbed to Baekhyun’s charms and catch feeling on the first day he met Baekhyun. And though he had been dying to be acquainted with Baekhyun’s body again, it was a matter of life and death but at what price?  Chanyeol was starting to figure out the cost of his mistake.

Baekhyun had worn his boxer before going back to the bed and jumping on it, his hair bouncing making Chanyeol’s heart flutter again though it should not. Chanyeol wished those feelings could stop. But it would be a lie to tell his feelings all that time had changed. Baekhyun has been an evidence since the day they met, his soulmate. So, when Baekhyun sat on his lap still chest , his poker face on, the taller could not read the situation, he could not say he was not surprised.

Baekhyun was staring at him, hard.  Chanyeol could feel the smaller shaking on top of him. He was apparently looking for his words. Chanyeol observed him, and the little blue box in his hand got his attention before Baekhyun grabbed his attention back.

“I don’t even know where to start” Instead, Baekhyun Chanyeol’s neck and his collarbone before stopping and hugging his ex lover. His mouth close to Chanyeol’s ear, he whispered sweet words to him.

“If we could go back…would you trust me this time?” Baekhyun murmured and Chanyeol could only hold him closer, not believing what was happening. Baekhyun could ask him the moon and he would give him, but at this precise moment, he could not bare his heart to Baekhyun. It was too soon, way too soon.

“Until when? How can I be sure this time will be any different and you won’t run away again?” Chanyeol softly asked against Baekhyun’s neck. He was not blaming him, he was just rhetorically asking.

“Chanyeol please trust me” Baekhyun entangled himself to kiss Chanyeol deeply. His breath dying into Chanyeol’s mouth. It has always amazed him how tiny he was, compared to Chanyeol. If he was thinking about it, they were different on so many levels and that was the main reason why he had been scared of himself and their relationship. Baekhyun was not confident and constantly devalued himself though he had accomplished so many great things at such a young age. It took so much of Chanyeol to constantly remind Baekhyun he was worth his love and he was just perfect, a successful heart surgeon with a great career and the best boyfriend. But Baekhyun had been deaf to all this for too long. The smaller always needed to prove something while it was not necessary.

For Chanyeol, Baekhyun had been enough.

“Marry me Chanyeol” Baekhyun blurted out. If it wasn’t for the sincerity held in Baekhyun’s eyes, Chanyeol would have though this idea popped out of nowhere. At this moment, Baekhyun placed the little blue box in Chanyeol’s hand. Park carefully looked at the box that looked quite familiar. It was the exact same box Chanyeol presented to Baekhyun the day he asked the smaller to marry him, a couple of years ago.

“Why do you have this? How did you get this?”  Chanyeol asked, although he already had an idea about the answer. He had made sure to secure it in a safe place and refused to look at it. He went crazy when he realized the ring had been missing 6 month ago.

“Sunny gave it to me the day I left, just before boarding. You were not there, I didn’t know what it was, but she said I should reflect on my actions. I couldn’t understand what she meant until I opened the velvety box in the plane” He said apologetically.

“So, you had it all this time during your mission?”  Chanyeol asked for confirmation.

“I did…Actually I wore the ring everyday…like a constant reminder of the mistake I made” Baekhyun looked affected, and the sadness in his usually bright eyes, weakened the wall Chanyeol had erected “Open it Chanyeol” the taller obeyed, still steeling glances at the man in front of him. He opened the box to find a very nice replica of the ring Baekhyun was wearing…. chrome with a black line circling the middle of the band, except this one had a little diamond on the back and a size obviously bigger, making Baekhyun’s a tad different. Chanyeol smiled at the jewelry and his beauty. The original was great but Baekhyun made it unique.

“It is very nice Baekhyun …it’s beautiful… just lovely” Chanyeol was the band contemplating it.

“I loved the design you put into it, I just wanted to add my touch. I though it should be a common effort if we, indeed, get married” Chanyeol scoffed but he could not kill the smile splitting his face. This all he had ever wanted…commitment from Baekhyun, and now that the latter seemed willing to give it to him, how could he just be negative about all this?  “I know you don’t trust me Chanyeol and I deserve it…. but I’ll work to earn your trust back…I promise” His voice was like a pleading. And it became too much for Chanyeol.  He hugged Baekhyun, suddenly kissing the long of Baekhyun’s neck and pinned him down on the mattress. He was too shy and confused to let Baekhyun see the happiness and excitement on his face.

When the taller propped on his elbow, he his fingers against Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Okay let’s get married…anyway, it’s not like I can live without you” Chanyeol muttered, kissing Baekhyun’s lips.

“What a nice way to say yes” Baekhyun pouted, wriggling under Chanyeol.

The taller was still on the bed when he grabbed the box, and opened it to get the ring. He was about to slide it on his finger when Baekhyun stopped him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m wearing it” Chanyeol exclaimed.

“No this is supposed to be our wedding rings”

“But you already wear yours”

“Mine is just under yours, inside the box and it is reserved for our weeding only” Chanyeol checked under the little blue pillow and there it was, the same ring that Baekhyun gave him but a in smaller size. Chanyeol Baekhyun’s hair and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. Words were stuck in his throat, but he wanted to say them.

“Baekhyun I-“His breathe died on Baekhyun lips who was looking at him expectantly.

“It’s okay Chanyeol, with time you will be able to say it back” Chanyeol was appeased at the idea Baekhyun could still read his mind after all this time. “being with you like this is something I have not thought possible when I arrived this morning” There was a long silence between them, when the only exchange was made through their eyes.

“You know that I never stopped” and deep down Baekhyun knew Chanyeol’s feelings had never worn out and he could only nod at his statement.

“I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow” Baekhyun dropped. It made him laugh internally when Chanyeol came to realization, his eyes growing bigger.

“I beg your pardon?” Chanyeol asked astonished, his mouth agape.

“Tomorrow morning, before Sunny’s weeding, just you, me, Sunny and his husband, we have an opportunity. I don’ t need more, I just want to be yours. And we can still call our parents after.”

“You got to be kidding me, you are out of your mind” Chanyeol gasped at the explanation. But thinking about it a second time, there was no reason for it to be different. Tomorrow, in a month or in two years, it would not make a difference. He would still want Baekhyun, so better wed him; the sooner the better.